Who am I? What am I? Where am I? What do I want? Am I intelligent? Am I an artist? Am I crazy? Where does this go? Where has it been? Why has it been there? Why am I who I am? What do I do? Where do I go? What is longing? Why do I want and desire? Why questions? Does drawing solve anything? Is 22 too old to be? Why do I care about art? What makes me think? Am I random? Why do we die? When will I die? What will make me die? Why die? Why can’t I choose? Why are people annoying ? Why do I still love people when they annoy me? Why hypocrisy? Will I mean anything? Am I well read? Why do I want to say so much and still can’t say it? Or can I? Do I know? Can I conceive original thought? Do I want to? Am I alone? Why is gay a topic? Am I strong ? Am I weak? Am I worthy? What is worthy? Who decides? Does anyone decide? Decide what? Do we need anyone? Are we worthy? Are we crazy? Are we random? What is human? Are questions silly? Is longing silly? What is silly? Why AIDS? Why sex? What is love? Why fear? Science? Math? FUCK! Why care? Why philosophy? What the fuck is philosophy? Is there a god? OOPS! Does god see me? Did god give me the ability to ask to test my faith? Do I have faith? Am I going to burn in hell for loving another man? Will I ever love another man? Am I in hell? What is hell? Why do drugs make me paranoid? Am I a pussy? Am I going to burn in hell for asking if there is a god? Why is the United States my government when government is an illusion? Is government an illusion? Why patriotism? Am I sexy? Do all questions need to be answered? Is thought pointless? Do I care what other people think? Who is right? Am I lame? What is lame? Would it be weird if I ran around naked outside right now? Why can’t I write? Will I ever have a child? What would that child be like? Do genetics make me who I am? Would getting another tattoo wrong? What is ashamed? Why do I feel ashamed so much? Will I ever learn another language? Why do I always want something different, something more? What is different? Am I different? What is normal? Who is normal? I have so many questions. I want to ask are questions abstract or are the a normal function? Have I lost my mind wanting to ask so much knowing I will never get the answers to all my questions because my questions are endless. Are all the answers lost in the end anyway? Will anyone even read this? Does being a little drunk have to do with my asking? Blah! Now I am tired. Should I post this?
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Re: anxiety
Fri, May 9, 2008 - 3:55 AM
I enjoyed your book, kinda.
If you ask whether you're in hell it's a pretty good sign of depression.
You're asking a lot of good questions but remember what Glinda said to Dorothy, "you had to find out for yourself." That's the hickey--and you don't even get a pair of ruby slippers from the witch your house killed. -
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Re: anxiety
Fri, May 9, 2008 - 12:47 PMThere a story in the Zen Buddhist tradition where a beginning student has a introduction meeting over tea with an elder monk. The student has barely sat down before he begins his list of questions for the monk. At some point when he has to stop & take a breath, he looks down & sees that the monk has been pouring tea into his cup and it's overflowing and the monk is still pouring. When he brings this to the monks attention, he responds, "This is your mind. So many questions. No room for answers. Go sit and come back when your mind is more empty."
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