Satan of Tribe

topic posted Fri, January 27, 2006 - 6:57 PM by  Unsubscribed
has left the building.

If you want to get a message to him, I can let him know you called.

Shalom.

-Jesus
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Unsubscribed
  • Unsu...
     
    Elvis?
    • Jesus, Satan, I can never tell you guys apart. One walks on water, the other sets fire to it. Neither of them ever got married. They both have well-kept beards and they can raise people from the dead. Plus they're both good at making tasty fruit smoothies.
      • Unsu...
         
        Humor is a delight to God and the Devil alike.

        Bless you, my child.
        • Unsu...
           
          Jesus has by far got the coolest shoes...

          I mean, what in hell can you do with cloven hooves?
          • Unsu...
             
            <<I mean, what in hell can you do with cloven hooves?>>

            You can stand around looking pretty damned impressive while tootling on a coronet protruding from your arse!
            • Unsu...
               
              I am going to be crucified tonight, midnight, central time, by way of tribe unsubscription.
              • Unsu...
                 
                20 minutes and counting.
                • Unsu...
                   
                  Can't wait.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
                    Unsu...
                     
                    What is yer problem, little lady?

                    Yer such a danged hypocrite.

                    Worse'n any politician I ever met.
                    • Unsu...
                       
                      You're the hypocrite, schmo.
                      • Unsu...
                         
                        "You're the hypocrite, schmo." So accuse the Bad Karma-esi lady.

                        Little lady, if yew hate me and hated ma ol' friend Satan so much, I invite yew to leave.

                        In fact, I suspect yew had a hand in this. I know fer a fact yew was pretendin' to be his friend while at the same time yew was talkin' trash behind his back.

                        Now git, you li'l commie inflitrator, git on outta heyaw now, heyah, git, varmit.

                        Come back when yew got a sense of humor.
              • Unsu...
                 
                Was it something we said?
                • Good riddance to bad rubbish!
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
                    Unsu...
                     
                    << Good riddance to bad rubbish!>>

                    But what will we do without his inspirational thoughts?
                    • Flourish?
                      • If any of you can turn pee into wine, let me know.
                        • >>If any of you can turn pee into wine, let me know.<<

                          I can turn pee into wine, but you wouldn't want to drink it, cuz it would be wine made from pee... pee wine.

                          It would get you drunk, but the taste would be... not so good, and the aroma! You wouldn't even want to get near it. All in all a very bad idea I'd think...
                          • Man's got a point.

                            But ya know I heared theres folks thet likes that kinda thang. Thet there naughty bathroom set. Ye might be able to hawk yessef to a niche market.
                            • And don't forget, brushing your teeth with pee is an age-old way of whitening the teeth. The Romans knew this. One of you smart fellows could set yourself up with the newest thing in home dentistry: All-Night Piss Strips.
                              • Same objection. Plus pee isn't patentable. As soon as people figured out the secret they'd just start pissing in their own mouths, and there goes the profits. What we need is a patentable analog of pee that isn't pee. Then we could sell it and make a profit.
                            • The health department would have a fit. Ironically, I would prolly have to use animal pee, because then I could guarantee their diets, but then there goes that whole 'niche' (or at least makes it a much smaller niche.) It's a good idea, but BIG GOVERNMENT would squash it right away.
                              • Fluoride is for pussies. You want white teeth, get that meat flavored toothpaste from the pet store.
                                • No. It has to be SPECIAL pee. Like from Portugal.

                                  Plus, you could disassemble the pee, and then reassemble it as something else, but with the same ingredients listed under Complicated Chemical Names. There are elements of pee in just about every beauty aid you can name.
                                  • >>There are elements of pee in just about every beauty aid you can name.<<

                                    And eye drops. Take the "M" from "Murine" and what do you have?
                                    • Let's face it: if you mash urine together with apples (for the malic acid), you have a barbiturate. Legend (I can't swear by it) says it's named "barbiturate" after Barbara, the woman who provided the urine for the initial experiment. Truth or fiction? Who knows?

                                      (M)urine and barbituates: the breakfast of champions!

                                      Urine is your ultimate beauty aid! Eliminate the middleman; bottle it yourself.
                                      • "All-Night Piss Strips."

                                        This sounds like more than one marathon drunk I've been on...
                                        • Me, too. I remember one night...it was the night I met Johnny Thunders...but that, as they, say, is ANOTHER STORY.
                                          • Unsu...
                                             
                                            Yes, but what about the Gov'ner and his campaign? He's just a doddering old codger and he needs our help! He needs the new ideas that can only come from the 20-somethings . . . well, okay, 30-somethings . . . okay, alright, the 40 somethings who gather around the magnificence that is he.
                                      • Or use it straight from the source--there's no shortage. It's a completely renewable resource, and environmentally friendly. It adds nothing to the ozone layer and doesn't contribute to global warming. Pee is politically correct. No foreigners were oppressed in it's production--no sweat shops involved.

                                        I still don't see how I can make any money from it. There's gotta be an angle. Who wants to buy my pee? See, because this is something I can do consistently... if I could get paid for it... that would be very cool.
                                        • You need to make your pee exotic, or hot, or a cure for ED, or something.

                                          Build a better pee, and the world will beat a path to your door.

                                          Maybe take a lot of magnesium supplements?
                                          • Ooooh. I've done lots of drugs. Maybe my pee is more Valuable? That's an angle...
                                            • And a damn good un. You just stumbled onto a THIRD niche - only this un is a might bigger then thu teeth whiteners or the naughty bathroom gangs. It's them thrill-seekin youngsters.

                                              As the unofficial drug czar o this here camp o rag-tag castaways, I propose you begin ingesting huge quantities of psychodelics and water, right quick like. We can go underground with the result (give it the mystique it needs to tantalize the little buggers) and sell it off as the latest craze in dance enhancin Rave love juice. No gov'ment involved. You pee - I sell. Done deal.

                                              I know a handful o them naughty bathroomers that'll take a bunch offn yer hands too. But that there dope angle - weee-doggies, we'll make so much money you could buy a new hat!
                                              • Me so happy! Me want to cry. This is a dream come true! A lifelong fantasy finally fulfilled. Think of it! Take drugs--pee--get paid...!!! This just goes to show the power of the free-enterprise system. Only in America could this happen!

                                                I'm thinking Amanitas (for obvious reasons) would be the best. Make sure you tell those little raver girls that for a few bucks extra they can drink it fresh, straight from the source. Tell em 'fresher is better.'

                                                This is the best thing that's ever happened to me! What a beautiful world we live in! God bless America!
                                                • I don't really mean to change the subject, but I'm having a lot of fun looking at the generated ad links at the bottom of various pages here.

                                                  This particular thread has links for "Twelve Tribes of Israel," "Satan Never Was Lucifer," "Modern Day Lucifer," and "Hell's Army."

                                                  It's great to see the American marketplace in action. I'm going to make up a thread with the silliest subject in the world and see what kind of ads are generated for that. So if you see a topic that doesn't make any fricking sense at all, you will know why.
                                                  • Make sure you tell those little raver girls that for a few bucks extra they can drink it fresh, straight from the source. Tell em 'fresher is better.'
                                                    ===========================

                                                    Sounds like maybe we oughta give 'em a discount, yer so all fired up there, Mr. Whistle Britches.

                                                    And Virgil: We'd never get into that Poop business. That would be disgustin'!
                                                    • >>Sounds like maybe we oughta give 'em a discount, yer so all fired up there, Mr. Whistle Britches.<<

                                                      That would not be a good marketing strategy. We want to -increase- the customers perception of the value of what we're selling. Remember the slogan--"Fresher is better."

                                                      >>And Virgil: We'd never get into that Poop business. That would be disgustin'!<<

                                                      Some people just have 'potty' on the brain. Why can't we have a 'decent' conversation without all this toilet talk? Here we are discussing serious matters and he has to bring poop into it. Kids these days... sheesh!

                                                      (J/K Virgil, ;P)
                                                      • Yer "fresher is better" buyers? Now THAT would be yer niche market. Yew ain't gonna git many teenage gurls that'll wanna take pyscodelic's that is flyin right out yer dillywhacker son. They might shy away from sech a sight. we'll jest have to see.....

                                                        What we needs is us a catchy name. Like Exsta-pee....nah......shit. Lemme see:
                                                        Wonder Water
                                                        Tinkle
                                                        MPP or M's PP

                                                        Help me out here.......
                                                        • My my my. You know, they make a lovely urine based wine on Sanchet Prime. Tastes like earth chicken.

                                                          How's this for a name; Spacepod Fuel. SFing would be the verb, SF the acronym, SFed as the hangover name or used when speaking to others while you are under the influence, as in, "I'm SFed!"

                                                          Just a thought. HeHeHeHe!