howdee,

i was just checking in - and noticed the responses in the introduction-thread - was getting my fingers ready to type-away and realized that we had not seen a lady arrive in the introductory thread...

one thing that i initially liked when i joined this group - was exactly that it was being hosted by a gal... since men are generally the pursuers (whether tops or bottoms sexually) in relations (and relationships) - i realized that it was not-a-surprise that the intros were mainly guys at first...

however - i ALSO realized that with too-much-testosterone, there is not 'room' for the gals to come on by and relax in here... thus, im starting this kinda off-beat thread with this kinda off-beat title...

id LOVE to hear from the gals who might be around here - but ill just assume (for the moment) that im only chatting with 'the guys'...

onwards... (lol - why does it always seem to take so long to say something so simple? lol)

re - going up to eureka - would love to sometime, but i doubt that theres any soon-occurring-reason that would prompt me to wander up there. id never heard of the redwood curtain, but (like the orange curtain here in hell-a) i imagine it makes sense... where, exactly, does the redwood curtain occur? if i had to guess, id say once you cross the golden gate bridge northwards from san francisco. i guess i should just wikipedia it - but id already typed - so ill just let-this-go...

re - citadel, queer-poly night - wow !! i have no real idea wtf that means, but it sounds pretty darn amazing... ie - it tweaks my 'try anything once' curiosity-buttons... is there some schedule-thingie that i could look at to see when the next one will be? or are they semi-secret events due to the nature-of-publicity-being-bad ??? odds are, id have to sorta ease into the idea of getting-up-there for one of these (ie - id prolly not just go-to-the-next-one, but rather get my gumption-up before trying it) so maybe put me on some mailing-list thingie? id have to go reread again, but maybe there was already enough clues there to fill-me-in and i should just reread it all... anyways - wow...

re - other names online - idve missed the no-u in sqeegee issue. i oftentimes go by luv_dogs (only vowel in luv is u) on several sites - or luv_dogs_gay on hotmail/yahoo emails. and yes, i get several discreet inqueries about bestiality for that name - but no, im not into that - i happen to just like dogs (both canines and human varieties - in different ways - of course. lol) ive actually been unable to sign-up for some sites due to my preferred username... sigh...

re - navigating het relationship while practicing bi - that is the million-dollar question... heck - it doesnt matter the genders involved (altho usu _Ive_ seen it as the guy is bi, the gal is het) but negotiating sexuality is a really tough subject... for instance, i have been seeing this dude for a month or so... i knew enough about him (and he about me) that we are comfortable hanging out and farting... lol. i knew he was 'still married' and 'had a son at college' and 'lived apart from his wife', but when it came time to deal with this past vday - i was not ready for all the details and emotions that became involved...

like i mentioned, im bi - but generally ive been pursuing men for relationships recently. id been having sex with them for years - just never considered them boyfriend-material... lol. thus - i can see/understand his perspectives fairly easily... hell, i completely envy his situation - i had always wanted to have kids... anyways... however, as the 'other guy' - it is not easy to navigate the emotional-waters of real relationships... lol.

he had been calling me his 'boyfriend' for awhile - which was kinda flattering, altho we both knew (heck, we flaunted) our poly-fuckery with other men. i was just about to start doing the same (calling him boyfriend) - so i figured id ask him what we should do about the big vday-holiday... when he said that he had plans to spend the weekend with his wife - i kinda lost it... awhile later, he asked if i would be 'his Valentine'... i said nope... he amended it to 'one of his valentineS' and i acquiesced... all-in-all tho, im still a bit turmoiled about it all.

ive oftentimes wanted to give (and have-given) advice to others (especially when they solicit it) regarding emotional stuff, but i realize that the truth is - im not you or within your relationship. youve got to work most of this stuff out within the confines of the relationships that you are in... if you (the dude) want to shift the boundaries of your het relationship with your wife, then realize that you are essentially 'dating' again... she is free to decide that she does NOT like the person she is meeting now (even tho yallre married) - and want to bail (ie divorce). and heck, that might be the best answer, depending... but trying to spring something SO massive as renegotiating poly-v-monog (open v closed sexually) and the attendant publicity (open v closed conversationally) is hard enough, much less the bi-straight issues... theres some deep-seated (and realistic) fears involved for all parties...

as far as i can tell - the best you can do is have the conversations upfront (and as emotionless as possible [except, of course, for humor... humor is awesome] - due to the landmines youll be negotiating conversationally). once the upfront conversations are fairly-well internalized for the parties - then the actual polyfuckery can be engaged without TOO much attendant drama.

of course, youre supposed to save up some money before you buy a house or have kids or whatever... yeah, right... lol. idk... good luck?

ok - ive clearly just babbled on way-too-much... well guys - what do yall say - shall we let the ladies (assuming there are any around) have some space in the intro-thread? am i being a complete dork about this stuff? why dont i just hit the damn submit button already... lol...