hmm - ill go ahead and chime in... im a bi guy (altho recently im running mostly gay - and my kinsey-stuff is around a 4-5)... i have had threesomes and foursomes - but only when the sexuality was restricted !!!

awhile back - i was often with het-folks, so i enjoyed the gals in a 3some (or more typically paired-off). we could even be "paired off" within the same bed and allowed to touch/help/switch-up - but if the guys accidentally-brushed each other - an apology was usually mumbled - and an adjustment was made... even tho there were other guys there - and i was known to be bi - it was strongly implied that i was supposed to stay "straight"... THAT was frustrating (usually, in retrospect, the next day)- mainly because we were all naked, sexual, around, and having fun - but i was being kept "leashed". eventually, our little "group" disbanded - the alpha-gal went and got married (to a non-swinger... lol). then the alpha-guy went and got married too (but his wife is cool with me [and my/our histories] so i have been open about my "single" adventures). there were others (both guys and gals) who enjoyed our little "group" for the year or two it was operating, but it drifted apart once the "alphas" were not interested in pursuing it.

next i spent a couple of years pursuing a het-primary relationship. it was MUCH easier to play my cards "straight" with women. i was never able to make the "bi" transition work. again, i am not really an "alpha" guy - even if i "play one on tv" or am _actually_ one within a het-pairing-relationship. lol.

since then (till now) - i am more often with homo-folks, so i have enjoyed the guys in a 3some and/or more-somes. in the gay scene, it is much more common to not stay as "exclusive" (ie closed) about sexuality - and yet there is STILL a very strong impulse to stay "gay"... of course, the fact that i have not actually encountered any gals in any of the "scenes" ive been a member of (not even lesbians, lol) recently - pretty much precludes any "bi"-ness for me.

ive discussed my "preferences" with partners - both male and female (when appropriate and available to chat) - and have always received a fairly strong - "go ahead, but not with me" attitude... it is not like i am discussing strange sex acts - just vanilla bi-ness (if there IS such a term)...

as far as i can tell (and particularly in the straight/swinging-scene i encountered), there is a huge issue of "power" involved with sex. honestly, i am not really wired to deal well with DOM/sub or any of the other issues of power that arise in sexual situations... other than acknowledging its existence and possibly exploring it for "play" - ive never had any interest in BDSM or being the "alpha" of a pack (sexual or otherwise). i am definitely not the "omega", but rather am almost always a "beta" to someone elses "alpha" within a "pack". i am willing to "step up" if there are situations where my skills/talents are fun/useful/intriguing - but i have not (as yet) been interested in the "pressures" that an "alpha" of a pack ends up assuming... lol.

anyways - this long babble leads to my following answer to the OP...

yes, i am a "virgin" to 3somes or 4somes with any "real" possibilities of "bi" activities in the bedroom (or whereever... ;-) )

other than craigslist - and the "normal" swinging-scene (where single bi men are frowned upon like cockroaches - imho) - where would yall suggest a single guy go (who is not an "alpha" that can just "make it happen" when he wants to) to enjoy a simple vanilla-bi-encounter?

now, to be fair - this past year - _I_ have been focussing on my "gay" side and pursuing more semi-traditional relationships with men. so i cannot claim to have actually been "looking" for bi-activities for maybe 5-10 years now. also, until i just typed it - it had not honestly occurred to me to PLACE an ad in craigslist. i would READ the ads (and if i could find one that would "fit" i would answer) but the real-life-craigslist-hookup-rate is almost as slim as just going to the bars was. and heck, at least at bars - i was actually WITH other people physically - rather than playing silly online games... bleah. (uh, ok - i "might" be a little bitter about online stuff... lol)

ive also been hanging around nude-activities - because _I_ enjoy social nudity - and it also causes me to encounter more open-minded folks it seems. so far, no actual luck, just intriguing conversations...

i see (online) plenty of erotica that _implies_ that there are bi-men who would like to have bi-experiences. i am not exactly sure ive seen many examples of bi-women _approving_ of these ecounters. lol. thus, there is a whole "down low" gay/bi-scene for the guys. also, any "gay" guys who are self-described-bi (like me, at this point) - do not seem to be having any better luck at making a het-relationship work successfully. ive chatted with several guys - and i do not think i am alone in the relationship-complications department... :-)

fundamentally - it (the power) really STILL rests with the gals - as far as i can tell... of course, i might just be looking at the world thru some strange tinting of my own perceptions... any other opinions? comments? suggestions? jokes? lol.