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Okay, I've been neglecting my tribe!
Let's talk about a few things. How about...what options are you using to find people. Are you a bi guy or gal looking for a couple? Are you a couple looking for a single person (or even other couple with bi folks in it?) What has worked for you. What hasn't worked at all?
Let's talk about a few things. How about...what options are you using to find people. Are you a bi guy or gal looking for a couple? Are you a couple looking for a single person (or even other couple with bi folks in it?) What has worked for you. What hasn't worked at all?
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California
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Re: Are you finding them?
Mon, December 29, 2008 - 5:18 PMive been rather neglectful of my tribes as well, but as far as finding people/couples to play with goes ive found that c-list is pretty good. my girlfriend and I have used it once to find a guy in our area. (it was really hot). we're thinking about using it again soon to find another guy to play with. -
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Re: Are you finding them?
Tue, December 30, 2008 - 6:54 PMGosh Lee...have to try Craigslist to find a guy to play with?
We don't have much luck with Craigslist these days...too many flakes these days. -
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Re: Are you finding them?
Wed, December 31, 2008 - 3:44 AMCraigslist - hmmmmm - been there read it and found nothing worth my time. So many fakes, so many "Oh, you can see more of me at my website" crap. I'll stick with my right and left hands - I can have a 3some every day and night - no questions asked - FMF, MFM, MMM.....LOL
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Re: Are you finding them?
Mon, December 29, 2008 - 9:03 PMwe are MW looking for W for LTR. Straight or bi woman.
I've tried craigslist, tribes, eons, polymatchmaker, OKCupid and TeeBeeDee, and subscribed to a couple of nor. cal polyamory newsletters. We've also worked the mark group circuit here in the bay area.
I met one woman from Craigslist face to face, and one from OKCupid. I met one woman at the Berkeley Psychic Institute, which was the closest we've come to a match.
I've had the most fine writing outrageous craigslist ads.
I'd have to say that over the past two~three years nothing has really worked for us, not yet.
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Re: Are you finding them?
Wed, December 31, 2008 - 6:20 AMWe are a m/f couple. I had wanted to add a boyfriend and we looked on CL, and lots of other sites. While we found some fun folk to play with, nothing close to a relationship.
Eventually a friend of friends returned to the crazy tribe of friends we play in and wham! I'm in love, we're in love and...
So the moral to the story is hook up sites and the like never yielded more than passing fun while friends supplied what we needed.
Get out and find a group of friends to play with. They'll maybe have more friends :)
Hugs,
Rig Daddy
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Re: Are you finding them?
Tue, January 13, 2009 - 2:23 PMyeah - friends are the _real_ way to network successfully.
it works for careers and most everything else. it has gotten a bad-rap in the romance department due to the ancient-but-still-existing marraige-setups that parents did for their children.
we could start a long thread about family-setups i imagine, but bottom line from my perspective is that friends can usually "see/hear/feel" who you are in a way that you-yourself might not. if you are lucky, then this external-opinion can be used to "gauge" whether a good fit will occur romantically (or professionally or whatever).
worst case - having friends and going out - will yield the possibility of meeting-new-friends and going-farther-out... ;-)
good luck with yalls searches. im a bit bummed out by the gals-search that has been so long-lived and unsuccessful. keep the faith... there truly are lots of folks in the world - and yall might just find the right one if you keep your eyes/heart open for it... h. -
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Re: Are you finding them?
Tue, January 13, 2009 - 2:27 PMcrap - alchemy, i apologize sir. for some reason i took a quick glance at your profile photo and had assumed a fairly-butch female. i know that is terribly rude. i truly apologize - and i wish yall the best of luck in finding your W for ltr. hugs, h. -
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Re: Are you finding them?
Mon, February 23, 2009 - 1:13 PMI find CL to be a cesspool of annoyance. I poor my heart out, trying to write witty repartee only to get in return some spam from a hooker. Or when i reply to MW4M i also get spam, this time from a pair of hookers who are "...cool and all that" (rolling eyes) but, like, need $150 to do it.
I'm hoping that tribe is the right place because alot of Burners are here. That's the password for me, "burners". Right off the bat, I would have an instant trust that they were a real couple, not out for money, and a host of other things that make fellow burners my favorite kind of people. Chil, get naked, massage, listen to music...these are the wonders of life. it should be so easy. -
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Re: Are you finding them?
Mon, February 23, 2009 - 5:35 PMFunny, I use the burner criteria pretty heavily myself for screening purposes. It's amazing how far a single playa picture will get you in my book. Nice intro, btw.
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Re: Are you finding them?
Tue, February 24, 2009 - 10:04 AMI'm totally partial to Burners. I'm also partial to folk I find on sites like Tribe. Folk have a history of what they say here so you can get a feel for who they are.
CL has wielded fun folk, no question but so far the only lasting connections I've made are a fun gay man I play with alone (he's not bi) and a burner who responded to an ad I put offering a slightly broken massage table to give away. The burner that responded is a blast. Bi and a bi GF.
Kelly's effort of forming a local group or finding one already around is probably the best way. There are probably 25 different poly and SM munches and social groups around the SF Bay.
In fact, we met one of our closest friends a an SM munch way 9 years ago. At the time he was "straight" but hung around the gay/bi/pansexual sex/SM scene and introduced us to it. I then introduced him to bi-sex :)
Hugs,
Rig Daddy -
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Re: Are you finding them?
Tue, February 24, 2009 - 3:36 PMI then introduced him to bi-sex :)
LOL What a guy!
Rig, I like the fact that your references to kink are "SM" rather than the more commonly used "BDSM". It just seems more pure and exciting to me. But, of course, that depends on what people are into.
John -
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Re: Are you finding them?
Tue, February 24, 2009 - 4:12 PMThanks, Sunshine, and others for your recent posts. sweetbabyjesus, the vibe here is so refreshingly different than CL. no wonder i kiss the ground when first enter Black Rock City. It really, truly, is Home.
And i know tribe isn't burning man per se. but we're all in the same family, right?
I can't say for sure whether i'm going to find any couplecock here, but it sure feels good trying.
--Paul
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Re: Are you finding them?
Tue, February 24, 2009 - 4:15 PMThe SM educators I'm around more formally refer to it as "consensual sadomasochism" and at least around the SF gay/pansexual leather groups we just use SM not BDSM. Besides, I don't do the D/s part, I'm just dominant, LOL. I know what I want and I want it now!
Weird. We, my wife, my bf and a lover for each(my gf, wife's bf, bf's bf), went to a leather conference where the Master/Slave and formal collared D/s relationships were featured and most of the workshops centered there. Our queer twisted/kinky/poly crew felt a bit out of place, LOL. (Worst dungeon music I have ever heard!)
>>>I then introduced him to bi-sex :)
LOL What a guy! <<<
What, you think I wasn't in it for myself? I was the one getting the blow job!
RD -
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Re: Are you finding them?
Wed, February 25, 2009 - 1:39 PMWhat, you think I wasn't in it for myself? I was the one getting the blow job!
Ah ha, so you only introduced him to semi-bi sex? That sucks, so to speak! -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Are you finding them?
Wed, February 25, 2009 - 6:47 PMGetting a bit off topic but this brought to mind something I've thought about a lot. Does a guy that only has oral with other guys count as bi or does he have to do anal/ I have talked about this with a lot of people, including my therapist, and have had the gay guy who only gives head story brought up many times. He is still gay, right? So the guy who only gives head to other guys is bi?
What do you kids think? -
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Re: Are you finding them? labels...
Thu, February 26, 2009 - 5:03 AMit does not matter what WE think. it matters what the guy-himself thinks.
while it is fine to label people, the only real label that means anything is the one(s) we wear ourselves.
for me, personally, i would never presume to label a person gay without personally witnessing them giving open-mouthed kisses to a member of the same gender (for pleasure). for some reason, for me, the 'kissing thing' is usually the 'barometer' that i use.
everything else, giving/receiving head, getting fucked in the ass, etc... just falls under sexual-acts that might appear gay to others... but i tend to ignore the labelling of people unless they 'own' it themselves. and usually, ive found, that someone who has 'owned' a label is willing to actively kiss the object of their desire...
but that is just-my-opinion... h. -
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Re: Are you finding them? labels...
Thu, February 26, 2009 - 12:15 PMdoes not matter what WE think. it matters what the guy-himself thinks
the 'kissing thing' is usually the 'barometer' that i use
everything else, giving/receiving head, getting fucked in the ass, etc... just falls under sexual-acts
All the above sounds right to me.
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