We have to discuss the elephant in the room that we've all avoided since the Sunny Island Nanotech R&D Facility meltdown in October. I'd happily continue to ignore the problem, except ....
We use the HappyLand LoveCanal to power our Guantanomo Water Board Ride before we took it offline. Runoff from the facility causes those strapped into the ride to develop hallucinations of accurate, detailed instructions on how bypass the security of our imagineering offices, as well as symptoms of a disease we've nicknamed Rage (after some movie, apparently).
Subject 121707C made it as far as the potted Yucca plant this afternoon before being shot down by the Taliban World animatons I had placed in the waiting room as a precaution.
Because of nanotech contamination, every molecule of Subject 121707C's DNA had to be found and denatured at exhorbitant expense. The office cleaning staff aren't properly trained for that kind of cleanup. One of the staff also came down with symptoms and had to be put down. Now the union is demanding bonuses and PTSD therapy for the survivors
Of course the Water Board Ride is now offline, but we're developing a backlog of subjects to process.
Just now I instigated a full investigation to determine who is responsible for this fiasco. I promise quick results.
Any suggestions on containment? Keep in mind, the Chernobyl Babies Assault Team invaded Sunny Island this morning and were absorbed. In fact, all matter is absorbed. I'm reluctant to send in the Kossacks or Catherine the Great until we have a strategy.
We use the HappyLand LoveCanal to power our Guantanomo Water Board Ride before we took it offline. Runoff from the facility causes those strapped into the ride to develop hallucinations of accurate, detailed instructions on how bypass the security of our imagineering offices, as well as symptoms of a disease we've nicknamed Rage (after some movie, apparently).
Subject 121707C made it as far as the potted Yucca plant this afternoon before being shot down by the Taliban World animatons I had placed in the waiting room as a precaution.
Because of nanotech contamination, every molecule of Subject 121707C's DNA had to be found and denatured at exhorbitant expense. The office cleaning staff aren't properly trained for that kind of cleanup. One of the staff also came down with symptoms and had to be put down. Now the union is demanding bonuses and PTSD therapy for the survivors
Of course the Water Board Ride is now offline, but we're developing a backlog of subjects to process.
Just now I instigated a full investigation to determine who is responsible for this fiasco. I promise quick results.
Any suggestions on containment? Keep in mind, the Chernobyl Babies Assault Team invaded Sunny Island this morning and were absorbed. In fact, all matter is absorbed. I'm reluctant to send in the Kossacks or Catherine the Great until we have a strategy.
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New York City
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Tue, December 19, 2006 - 5:34 PMI thought we decided blood was more abundant than nanotech symbiotes when we designed real storybook land. Now you're telling me these things are self replicating -- and providing detailed maps of Shadowforce HQ?
Alright. Protocol says anything dealing with shadowforce unions means bringing Vinnie in from the New York office. If those boys raising a fuss know what's good for em, they'll videotape themselves beating their kneecaps in with a blackjack. If we don't see a show of personal responsibility from the survivors, we remind them of other options or let them man a jackhammer above the Moranis pit. Either way, it's out of our hair.
If the waterboard ride is down, lets stick detainees in the decompression chamber and crank it up a few atmospheres. There's no scarring and the energy source is still connected to old biodiesel vats.
I can ignore the october meltdown since it's contained. Isn't this the reason we have oceans anyway or should I be suspicious due to lower than expected levels of rot following the 'accident'.
Until we know what's going on, I recommend no one drink the tap water until we test it on detainees. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Tue, December 19, 2006 - 7:12 PMI found the source of the leak. I'm bringing Fred Paulo in to investigate. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 20, 2006 - 2:57 AMFred Paulo? Techno DJ of Toronto? Who's the source of the leak, a raver kid? -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 20, 2006 - 5:47 PMwho the hell is vinnie?
what new york office?
show me the pinks from the purchase orders.
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 20, 2006 - 6:12 PMMy department's investigations have turned up discrepencies in Mike's accounts, Shekky.
Why, for instance, were funds diverted from Sunny Island's Health & Safety budget to construct the Moraniis Tank? They were completely separate projects!
Mike, I'm sending over an NKVD squad to interview you. Nothing to worry about. I'm sure we'll get this straightened out in no time. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 20, 2006 - 6:46 PMCareful, Mike! This is how they got Trotsky!
*toke* -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 20, 2006 - 7:06 PMTrotsky was an enemy of the people! Mike C is our illustrious leader. Completely different situations. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 20, 2006 - 7:41 PM*scratch, scratch*
OK, he's now out of the balcony pic... -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 20, 2006 - 8:38 PMthis whole goddamned project is in a dangerous tailspin.
next thing we know they'll be digging one of OUR planes out of a twenty foot deep vat of effluent.
orwell must be spinning in his grave. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 20, 2006 - 10:05 PMI'm not terribly worried about the Russians. After all, they can only kill you.
Here in the USA, we're different. We value life.
Come Rendall, lets all adjourn to the Green Room for a drink. I suspect you must have a lot on your mind, considering recent events.
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, December 21, 2006 - 4:21 PM<<next thing we know they'll be digging one of OUR planes out of a twenty foot deep vat of effluent>>
This has got "coming attraction" written allllllllllll over it
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, December 21, 2006 - 6:21 PMYou should remember that there are no illustrious leaders of Happyland Design. We are a team that works for high paying projects worldwide. In actuality, Karl Sennata outranks me on the Martyrland Correctional theme park, just as Abel Ferrara outranks me at Angel Mountain.
I am merely a humble accountant and historian representing these legendary men. Nothing more. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, December 21, 2006 - 11:20 PMabu nidal will never be forgotten.
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 20, 2006 - 11:01 PM -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, December 21, 2006 - 4:45 PMAh! I remember here... like a distant dream of holy-huckster paradise... -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Sun, December 24, 2006 - 11:01 AMNo, it's the Fred Paulo of CDC Montana: PEACE division. The team is setting up biocontainment around what was Dueling Vegetables.
Fluids siphoned off our leak should be analyzed in the upstairs lab momentarily. -
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Unsu...
Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 27, 2006 - 9:04 PMThe cleanup of Subject 121707C was not sufficient. Fingerprints were lifted off an electrical panel that was replaced by the inmate prior to his ill-fated attempt at escape. These were replete with DNA and complex proteins gathered from skin oils. Nanomachines were discovered on the insulation of spliced wires only, indicating that there may be a flood saturating low voltage security lines and propelled through the electrical current of the facility, in hopes of infecting synapses of living organisms.
This is secondary to the source infection in Subject 121707C. Mycosal filiments having a morphology similar to hyaline molds are indicative of cordecept infestation, with probable effect on behavior and the escape pattern documented by facility security networks, the pattern being otherdirected; not to escape but to seek a means of spreading infectious endospores through facility population and staff. The denaturing process used for nanomachine destruction, properly applied, should manage to destroy endospore proteins and extrusion revealing massive infection in the brain and fruiting bodies as extrusions from the Phalanx and soft palate, employing respiration as means of distributing airborne vectors.
Cordecept behavior evidenced in the Moraniz1 containment suite include glossalia, epileptic seizures possibly due to dural hematoma, and mutilation; possibly to increase vector dispersal. More information forthcoming. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 27, 2006 - 9:17 PMwho hired this joker??
what do "endospore proteins" have to do with theme parks?
i smell expensive, thick cut BACON!
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 27, 2006 - 9:43 PMwww.rideaccidents.com/rides.html
Cordecepts infect the brain and make the infected person function in a way that helps spread infectious spores. They are like the Nigerians, only slower. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Wed, December 27, 2006 - 10:37 PMI kin tek car of.
Im mune, an account of bein ded awready. Imn heppi ta hep if we gets th hawg farm ruinings. Im hungri.
greyn romm fersde, (birbin timne) than awl cleen,
stil, thowse, ah needs a nurze! cudt won wif shordt skritz an a cleevidge. I gots ta fist soon.
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, December 28, 2006 - 10:30 PMThe report noted that in an extreme 2% of cases, subject experienced euphoria and the compulsive desire to copulate with an automobile tailpipe. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, December 28, 2006 - 10:52 PMHoly J.G. Ballard, we've joined the car crash set!
"Cordecept behavior evidenced in the Moraniz1 containment suite include glossalia, epileptic seizures possibly due to dural hematoma, and mutilation; possibly to increase vector dispersal. More information forthcoming."
If these lil buggers begin to throw off spores or grow stigmata on newly tentacled limbs, we might have to nuke this facility from space.
It's a good time to remind everyone there's only TEN seats on the autogyro...
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Unsu...
Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, December 28, 2006 - 11:13 PMIs this extreme two percent the result of nanomachine infection at Sunny Island? So far, I have two confirmed cases and one to four missing bodies, possibly a third case in Pittsburg if we are to believe reports. Corroboration is not optimized.
Blood, urine and stool samples are required of all inmates and security personnel. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Fri, December 29, 2006 - 5:04 PMSince this still is an operational theme park, we probably should put together a ride that automatically collects these specimens for analysis.
Should the outbreak spread, we will then be able to market the ride to triage hospitals worldwide; as a cornerstone for their franchise. Possibly this could be an opportunity for us to take advantage of the situation . . .
A hospital designed as theme park? -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Sat, December 30, 2006 - 5:36 PMWe could do this on the like-serious cheap.
A few US army war surplus tents, an OR wiki'd up from any slab of concrete, some lean-tos and instant 4077. Disbarred members of the medical profession come cheap and any anthropoid can be trained to collect feces and many do.
Lay in some Everclear, pearl onions and the occasional mortar barrage and you have Camp M*A*S*H. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Sat, December 30, 2006 - 8:53 PMheh.
im'n cheep opiradr nof nurologcal disposesal.
yumn. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Sat, December 30, 2006 - 9:11 PMI've never thought of the possibility of zombies working on the base of a medical waste pit. We could set up a desk and a nice ergonomic chair and have the zombie wait for amputations and tumors to fall out of the sky.
Larger operations would require more voracious appetites. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Sun, December 31, 2006 - 12:04 PMperhaps we might set up a landing strip in one of the larger waste pits as well. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Sun, December 31, 2006 - 4:54 PMFor the time being, I'm setting this project up as a model for Triageland. From the samples Fred has analyzed thus far, it's probable that hospital theme parks will soon be in high demand . . . as will euthenasia centers.
On a related note: I've heard that business at the stabbing stations has been kinda slow on the take, especially with the sad financial state of our present day teenage runaways and competition with the Bumfights network and other reality-based programming.
Possibly, you'd like to freshen up some of the stabbing stations with a supply of man eating hogs? How about a medival knights jousting festival/ theme restaurant where sluice doors open into the miniature auditorium and release man-eating hogs. Wondering if a stabbing station can be renovated to suit in time for us to properly train the spring litters.
I'm thinking that you might be able to court a higher paying clientele off the American freeways with such a bait, more families coming from the great lakes area to visit the Grand Canyon if you have something along that route.
Just rolling the possibility by you. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Sun, December 31, 2006 - 6:20 PMthe overall design of the Stabbing Stations was intended to accomodate anything from motocross death matches to modern roman-style lions-and-christians style extravagandas.
i LIKE the idea of man eating hogs, i like it a lot. refer to the movie "snatch" in regards to how much human flesh twenty five hogs can eat in an hour.
remember, invitees to the Stabbing Stations are chosen at random. trying to cater to a specific demographic might do more harm than good but i'm flexible. -
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Unsu...
Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, January 4, 2007 - 7:39 PM95% of all blood samples have tested positive for cordecept infection, along with several members of Park Shadowforce. Nearly all are infected with 'rage' type contaminant found in subject 121707C.
Abel Ferrara has also tested 'rage' positive.
Subtle differences in infected personnel and detainees indicate cordecept mutation; either from the original Moranis strain or from something possibly indiginous to the sample population. Everything points to Moranis as secondary vector of infection.
Thirty detainees have been moved to biocontainment level 4 for testing of Moranis factor. Synthetic amino K134 has been found on stock from the SD Beta lab and will be administered to 1/3 of the detainees, 1/3 will have direct exposure to Moranis endospore contaminants, with the remaining third reserved as control subjects.
Direct observation of Rick Moranis shows no evidence of Moranis sheds in tank. No portion of Eugene Levy can be found anywhere in the room. There is no outward mutation observed in Moranis.
Nanosymbiote found in Subject 121707C and wiring insulation is still unaccounted for. Nothing on the catalog indicates this chemical was synthesized at the Sunny Island facility, indicating possibility of a rogue operation. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, January 4, 2007 - 10:45 PM>>Abel Ferrara has also tested 'rage' positive.<<
I usually have huge respect for your work, egghead, but given that the symptoms of 'Rage' are weeping blood tears and compulsive, unremitting homicidal attacks, I hardly think it's necessary to administer a test. Is Abel Ferrara trying to tear your throat out with his teeth? No? Then 'rage' is not indicated.
Okay. I say we give the Hott Lesbians on E a break, and use the combat cage in Little Bangkok to isolate the rage victims. They're useless for anything else. Sell tickets and film what happens.
Feedback?
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, January 4, 2007 - 10:52 PMMany of these detainees have regular pen pals --
Jesus Fucking Christ!!!!!!!!!
Shadowforce reads the mail prior to sterilization! It's possible someone got a nanomachine through the radiation screens and infected personnel. We'll need to address this possible breach of security and interview our rendition team for possible contamination.
But that's not why I brought up pen pals . . .
We can't just dissect thirty detainees on a whim! We have appearances to maintain and I simply can't give you that sort of authorization. We can safely dispose of three detainees and blame the loss on a suicide pact -- just make sure to pick three of the less popular detainees . . . or maybe one of the semi popular ones.
Let's check with marketing first and see if anyone has representation. -
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Unsu...
Re: Grey Goo Containment
Thu, January 4, 2007 - 11:16 PMFrom the samples of Subject 121707C I have analyzed, after your incomplete cleanup mind you, I have found no evidence of anything indicating bleed out. Your attachment of 'rage' to the cordecept symptoms apparantly is some sort of ill-informed pop fantasy rather than an actual diagnosis of what really is happening. It's not helpful or harmful in any way -- and in fact, is rather pitiful from an epidemiological perspective if you ask me.
Seriously Rendall? Vomiting blood and no regard for food or water? Not even cannibalistic tendencies? Those infected with the pop culture disease 'rage' would have been put down by the disease within three to five hours tops -- and that with a supernaturally pissed off desire to stay on their feet and kill others. Plus, they should've been killing themselves if they were infected with rage. Certainly the psuedo-pop zombies you're talking about wouldn't suddenly become team players after drinking rage now, would they. Nor would they have time to infect the whole of England in that three to five hour window of time -- not without a least stopping and figuring out a way to work the drinking fountain at the airport . . . while they were bleeding out.
You know, maybe you should really try reading a book every once in a while. Just to be on the safe side. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Fri, January 5, 2007 - 1:08 PMNot sure what you're going on about, Fred.
Subjects infected by LoveCanal runoff weep blood tears, manifest compulsive homicidal rage and have an instinctive, detailed knowledge of ShadowForce HQ's security systems. They do try to kill each other. Anything living, actually. In fact, they attack inanimate statues in the shape of living creatures. Have you even been over to the compression chambers yourself?
This cluster of symptoms was nicknamed "Rage" by my staff. I'm not aware of any pop-culture references. If it's inappropriate, feel free to name it something else.
If there is cordecept contamination as well, that came from your lab, not mine.
>>From the samples of Subject 121707C I have analyzed, after your incomplete cleanup mind you, I have found no evidence of anything indicating bleed out.<<
I honestly have huge respect for your previous work, so I say this in all seriousness: This isn't like you. I urge you to check yourself for cordecept infection immediately.
Mike, no worries. The Rage infected detainees would sooner jab a pen in your eye than write home. They're restrained in the compression chambers as you asked.
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Fri, January 5, 2007 - 3:00 PM*slam!*
I step into the outer office to bang an intern and we're two reels into some old George C. Scott movie?
*beep* *beep*
If I find out Marty Sheen's agent also handles Moranis, I know one seersucka motherfucka I'm gonna pitch off the roof of the Standard...
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Fri, January 5, 2007 - 6:06 PMMore like the old Star Trek where Captain Kirk was split into a 'good' Kirk and a 'bad' Kirk. Only without the 'good' Kirk. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Fri, January 5, 2007 - 6:41 PMFirst off, someone explain to me what a Happyland Love Canal is.
I was assuming this is referring to the murky fluid circulating through Real Storybookland and not a reference to our New York operations. If not, where the hell is this on the map? Weapons of Mass Destructionville perhaps?
Secondly -- Little Bangkok? When did we throw little Bangkok onto the Gitmo Reconstruction? Last I heard of the project, we had some sort of trailer park swingersville we were setting up for an independent contractor -- and I recall this was something the investors backed out of due to losses on Fantasy Football or some other crap.
I do know the Jihad Heaven dome 'is' fully operational.
Have you renamed the Jihad Heaven dome, 'Little Bangkok'?
We can do that if you're looking to host a corporate party for your staff, or whatever you have left from the Sunny Island meltdown. Where is this staff anyway? Fred tells me they haven't submitted blood and stool samples to the lab. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Fri, January 5, 2007 - 7:13 PMthe Happyland Love Canal(s) consist of the vaginal and anal cavities of tofubots converted for use in the seventy virgins attraction.
my team is trying to keep this under wraps to avoid attracting the attention of any moralists who might be handing over the brown paper bags of unmarked bills to the couriers in amsterdam.
we ARE in the business of amusement parks, are we not? maybe i should read the mission statement again. -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Fri, January 5, 2007 - 7:25 PMExcellent networking Shekky. I'm sure you've made the Rosicrusian Society very happy.
Now if we just had a market for Vegan Calamari . . . -
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Re: Grey Goo Containment
Fri, January 5, 2007 - 7:38 PMLittle Bangkok , with a few hours notice, is wherever our Thai investors happen to visit, if you catch my drift. The only assets specifically dedicated to that project are the fight cage and the Ping Pong Virgins.
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Unsu...
Re: Grey Goo Containment
Sat, January 6, 2007 - 2:37 PMRendall,
First of all, these 'rage' infected detainees, the nanomachine found on the wiring insulation and skin oils of Subject 121707C do not code for any emotional response whatsoever, they are infections of the visual cortex that provide a simalcra of the Gitmo labrynith -- mostly the old facility with the original rendition rides Waterboarding, Cold Room, Anti-ergo workstation and the Sonotech markless wonder . . . along with original cell maps, wiring diagrams, wastewater blueprints, supply closets and the yard. Many of the newer rides are not part of the simalcra, indicating that this was a nanomachine constructed pre October 2006, with molecular degredation indicating June 26 as the most likely time the map was finalized.
Due to denaturing of 121707C, the story of whether this is a blood borne pathogen causing a primitive limbic response cannot be corroborated. The other subjects in isolation are not displaying any 'rage' characteristics other than the usual hunger strikes and calls of religious insensitivity and moral outrage -- not chewing out throats or irrationally attacking the bars of their cells. Most likely, 121707C's blood tears was caused by overexposure to Sonotech gear -- which caused an embolism that directly affected the limbic system. Again, this is something that can't be positively determined due to effects caused by the denaturing process. I can only go by DIA records indicating a lengthy interrogation session of Subject 121707C that happened two days prior to this incident.
The 95% cordecept infection rate remains constant even after the results of sixty more blood tests. Subject 121707C's infection is
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