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Hathor’s Tribe: Who is your muse, who inspires you?
Well, at this very moment there is one, and I have created numerous new things that left me feeling very satisfied with myself (and that’s something!), but I am keeping the name to myself. In the past there were also muses, but none of them were alive anymore. So this is new and exciting and has actually much more possibilities than the dead ones…also ‘cause the person is not a fantasy and the inspiration comes from real life, not something I make up in my twisted artist’s mind, haha! To be continued…
Hathor’s Tribe: Are you a visual artist, writer, dancer, musician, or film maker?
Well, I am all of the above mentioned, ahum…Film maker being something I am still exploring, and find extremely fascinating, for it combines so many disciplines! The weight just shifts: one period I am more focussed on music, then I am more focussed on photography, then I am more focused on dancing, and so forth. It simply depends on so many factors! So people actually ask me if I ever sleep…I don’t understand! I see myself as a lazy person, actually…One of the quotes being “A time enjoyed wasting is not wasted time!”, I forgot who originally said that.
Hathor’s Tribe: Do you work in other creative venues?
Yes, I am a creative consultant for an Independent Film Publishing Company, that stands in the top 5 of most important ones in the Netherlands. So I go to Filmfestivals and see tons of films and choose which ones are interesting for us, among other things. I stopped translating film scripts, for that precision work drove me crazy and my love for language could not save that relationship.
I also hope to return to acting soon, for I miss it incredibly! It has always been a big part of my life and even won me prizes when I was still a schoolkid in Estland. I especially was good at improvising in front of a large audience. I guess it was just surviving mechanism at work, haha!
Hathor’s Tribe: What artists have influenced your work?
I guess I would be a big fat liar if I would say ‘ none’…
Another problem is that I am very bad with names…
Throughout the quarter of a century that I have been residing on this planet I have seen, met, read and heard so many! And they all inspired me in a way, I think. Be it contemporary photographers like Liina Siib from Estland and Roger Ballen from South Africa, till Leonardo da Vinci, Frida Kahlo, Virginia Woolf and even Bukowski. (Or how about Andrej Tarkovsky, Jan Svankmajer and Sergei Paradzanov?…) The list goes on and on…
It’s all a matter of : “Does their vision touch me?” and “ Do they leave me thinking?” When they do I always seem to slip into a personal crisis, for I am challenged to remember what I forgot I wanted to be since I was born. The intensity of that desire. My friends even gave me a nickname in the past because of that necessary self-destructive behavior of mine: phoenix. I also hope that that nickname helps me to forget all I learned and just CREATE after being reborn once more!
Hathor’s Tribe: At what age did you have an interest in art, and when did you first
realize you would be an artist?
Well, actually I was composing music before I could even stand or talk! And I was painting before I could write…and being on stage since the age of 4 also does influence your choice in some way. Besides all that I was born from two crazy artists, who were both in the artist scene of the then Soviet Russia, the lovely Leningrad (now St. Petersburg) and the Opera House was literally my babysitter. So I never really stood still by my choice of ‘becoming’ an artist, also ‘cause my whole life I have said that you can only be born as one. Combined with incredible optimism from my parent’s art friends (to illustrate: I performed the whole ‘Giselle’ ballet on my birthday…yes, ALL of it! and I was very serious about it! and I knew the choreographies and music of all major classical ballets by heart. I could sing every single instrument from a ballet like Swan Lake for instance. So during my own representations I would fuss greatly about the ‘perfect’ light, the ‘perfect’ sound, my costumes…actually, now I think of it, poor parents of mine…I was such a slave driver! the result just HAD to be PERFECT! so they forgave me, I hope…also because they knew how many hours a day I practiced for that perfect result...) and we are talking here about a child under 5 years of age!
actually, my first real realization that I was an ‘artist’ really hit me hard not that long ago…I realized that even though I have those two sides to me – creative and scientific – I could never live so ‘organized’ as is required in the scientific world, and art helps also to preserve my essence . I do call myself a ‘dysfunctional’ artist though…Yes! I use art as an excuse for my shortcomings, haha! Gods forgive me…
I think that I will join on what Peter Ustinov said few months before he died. He said: “Now that I have grandchildren, I really must decide what to do with my life!”
I think that at the age of 72 I still will have no idea of what I want to become…I am pretty sure of it! I will always be ‘on the outlook’ and in the meantime doing what’s best for the moment and just being what I am best at: me. (And also doubting whether I am a ‘good enough’ artist and whether the world out there truly needs to see my creations…)
Hathor’s Tribe: Do you plan out your work before you do it, or does it evolve
organically?
I tried to ‘plan’ in the past…I still try actually. But it never works! In fact, all that planning leaves me feeling incapable of creating! Just the idea drives me crazy! But since I am trained in self-punishment since an early age, I am still trying, haha! But in the end it all comes to the simple fact that planning a creation becomes an act similar of doing the dishes…you never seem to enjoy it when you have to do it, ‘cause that’s ‘a part of everyday life’…Needless to say I am hell to live with…Every single day is unpredictable in its rhythm. Nothing is planned, all is one big chaos. (I call it my ‘creative mess’ by the way.) But when you look back at it all, you do see some sort of plan you had no idea of actually existing…!
Hathor’s Tribe: Is there a mental process? do you have a question to ask or answer?
Sometimes I do, yes. I am working on my second album right now, and my albums are always a journey, I try to tell a sort of story. I do try to leave more questions to my audience, than answers. I love to create that space in my creations, where the audience also becomes the creator themselves, and creates their own truth. So you will never find me explaining what I exactly mean! Perhaps if I will not burn all of my diaries and note books before my death, some historians will have something to re-chew one day! That is if they find me interesting enough…Guess I will be burning them anyhow, ahem…
Hathor’s Tribe: If you have had formal training, do you feel your educational
process
hindered your artistic expression in anyway?
ONE BIG Y E S !!! Educational facilities make art an institution, like prisons and marriage, if you ask me for examples. They try to submit art to rules. I could get away with anything, all I had to do was act as if I was ‘brilliant’ and ‘un.under.stood’ and I could never stick to any of the assignments. And how I tried!
So I ended losing respect for my teachers and actually starting hating the whole thing! Plus I was always arguing with them on how my work was not how they-taught-art-to-be. The good thing about it was that I actually doubted whether I was good enough, so I worked even harder…Not for someone else’s approval, but for my own pride and improvement.
Besides all mentioned it was pretty early in life that I discovered that most teachers in educational facilities for art were themselves failed artists. So when someone with real vision and potential happened to become their student, they could not hide their discomfort of being so heavily confronted with their own shortcomings. So they acted like little kids who broke the doll they could not possess, for it was never theirs in the first place. I always pitied them in a way…Luckily I did find teachers waiting on my path who helped me to stop re-inventing the wheel and actually use my time for better purposes. Those people were also the ones who actually forbade me to put one step at the above mentioned institutions. All very respected names, so here’s your paradox and a scream for change!
Hathor’s Tribe: Do you use the creative process to express your internal conflicts
or to
purge yourself of emotions?
Tricky question…for where is that thin line when art ceases to be art and starts becoming therapy? We artists are such emotional, touched with fire people, that you almost shout : “Both!” And step back for where it that thin line…? Do you see it anywhere? I know I do, but I am not telling….that kind of thing.
Hathor’s Tribe: If so, do you feel that art can be a kind of therapy?
To quote a fellow artist (who’s also a dear friend):
“Art without audience actually becomes therapy.”
So the answer is ‘yes’. Art has proven to be essential in psychotherapy and they still discover all of its benefits. But then again, an artist is not a patient.
And speaking for myself: I actually NEED a session once finished working…!!!
Hathor’s Tribe: What is your opinion about the current art movements which focus on
dark
imagery?
I say it’s just another hype. The humanity feels that they have finally admitted to have tasted that healthy piece of fruit Eve snacked upon a while ago, and with this current ‘dark’ movement they think they finally after all those centuries do not care of pretending to be one big chunk of all the deadly seven sins.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the dark side, very much actually. My creations show that I love my dark side and cherish it, for it literally gives me depth. It’s again the “where’s that thin line?” issue. But again, when I look at some of the ‘current dark imageries’ I become infuriated, for I feel the artist has no right to use their audience as an outlet of their hatred, and actually pretend they are the ‘mirrors’ of nowadays societies! That kind of art always leaves me feeling drained. It’s pure energetical vampirism if you ask me!
And there are other artists who use their dark side in such a way, that simply leaves me breathless…Their darkness actually has a lot of light in it, hope is always present. Hope never ceases to exist. As if the torch they have in their hands does indeed expose the surrounding darkness, but also leads the way.
I do have one thing to say to all those ‘tormented artists’ out there who seem to have this burning urge to burden their audiences with all that unprocessed garbage inside of them (the one they fail to take responsibility for and have a closer look at):
“You all scream: ‘I can kill!’
But can you also say: ‘ I can resurrect?’”
Thank you…
Hathor’s Tribe: Do you make art for yourself, or do you have a market in mind?
Well, none of the above actually. I do not make art for myself only, and I certainly do not have any markets in mind. The latter would be like ‘adjusting’ or trying to ‘fit in’. Ugh…!
Hathor’s Tribe: Do you believe that art has a higher purpose, other than to
decorate a
room?
Yes, I do. Definitely. It is a reminder to humans that the things are not the way they seem. Art gives humanity hope, it makes their heart skip a beat, it increases the awareness to look from different of perspectives. It also helps to escape from the dreadful reality of everyday routine.
But I also believe the two can live happily ever after side by side. For they also need each other. And there are as many forms of art as there are sorts of people. So art will always have a higher purpose AND be able to decorate your room splendidly! Let’s just hope your paining will not be used in a same way as a poster…
if so, please explain?
ooh! missed that…please return to number 13.
Hathor’s Tribe: If you could meet any artist from the past who would it be?
Leonardo da Vinci is the first name that jumps into my head! So be it!
Hathor’s Tribe: In what way do you want to be remembered?
For just one thing I wanted since the days I could finally express my desire in words:
“ To inspire people to be(come) their authentic selves.
Links where you can find Elektra Goncharova's work:
www.elektramusic.org/
people.tribe.net/25977541-...6076fa1c42
Well, at this very moment there is one, and I have created numerous new things that left me feeling very satisfied with myself (and that’s something!), but I am keeping the name to myself. In the past there were also muses, but none of them were alive anymore. So this is new and exciting and has actually much more possibilities than the dead ones…also ‘cause the person is not a fantasy and the inspiration comes from real life, not something I make up in my twisted artist’s mind, haha! To be continued…
Hathor’s Tribe: Are you a visual artist, writer, dancer, musician, or film maker?
Well, I am all of the above mentioned, ahum…Film maker being something I am still exploring, and find extremely fascinating, for it combines so many disciplines! The weight just shifts: one period I am more focussed on music, then I am more focussed on photography, then I am more focused on dancing, and so forth. It simply depends on so many factors! So people actually ask me if I ever sleep…I don’t understand! I see myself as a lazy person, actually…One of the quotes being “A time enjoyed wasting is not wasted time!”, I forgot who originally said that.
Hathor’s Tribe: Do you work in other creative venues?
Yes, I am a creative consultant for an Independent Film Publishing Company, that stands in the top 5 of most important ones in the Netherlands. So I go to Filmfestivals and see tons of films and choose which ones are interesting for us, among other things. I stopped translating film scripts, for that precision work drove me crazy and my love for language could not save that relationship.
I also hope to return to acting soon, for I miss it incredibly! It has always been a big part of my life and even won me prizes when I was still a schoolkid in Estland. I especially was good at improvising in front of a large audience. I guess it was just surviving mechanism at work, haha!
Hathor’s Tribe: What artists have influenced your work?
I guess I would be a big fat liar if I would say ‘ none’…
Another problem is that I am very bad with names…
Throughout the quarter of a century that I have been residing on this planet I have seen, met, read and heard so many! And they all inspired me in a way, I think. Be it contemporary photographers like Liina Siib from Estland and Roger Ballen from South Africa, till Leonardo da Vinci, Frida Kahlo, Virginia Woolf and even Bukowski. (Or how about Andrej Tarkovsky, Jan Svankmajer and Sergei Paradzanov?…) The list goes on and on…
It’s all a matter of : “Does their vision touch me?” and “ Do they leave me thinking?” When they do I always seem to slip into a personal crisis, for I am challenged to remember what I forgot I wanted to be since I was born. The intensity of that desire. My friends even gave me a nickname in the past because of that necessary self-destructive behavior of mine: phoenix. I also hope that that nickname helps me to forget all I learned and just CREATE after being reborn once more!
Hathor’s Tribe: At what age did you have an interest in art, and when did you first
realize you would be an artist?
Well, actually I was composing music before I could even stand or talk! And I was painting before I could write…and being on stage since the age of 4 also does influence your choice in some way. Besides all that I was born from two crazy artists, who were both in the artist scene of the then Soviet Russia, the lovely Leningrad (now St. Petersburg) and the Opera House was literally my babysitter. So I never really stood still by my choice of ‘becoming’ an artist, also ‘cause my whole life I have said that you can only be born as one. Combined with incredible optimism from my parent’s art friends (to illustrate: I performed the whole ‘Giselle’ ballet on my birthday…yes, ALL of it! and I was very serious about it! and I knew the choreographies and music of all major classical ballets by heart. I could sing every single instrument from a ballet like Swan Lake for instance. So during my own representations I would fuss greatly about the ‘perfect’ light, the ‘perfect’ sound, my costumes…actually, now I think of it, poor parents of mine…I was such a slave driver! the result just HAD to be PERFECT! so they forgave me, I hope…also because they knew how many hours a day I practiced for that perfect result...) and we are talking here about a child under 5 years of age!
actually, my first real realization that I was an ‘artist’ really hit me hard not that long ago…I realized that even though I have those two sides to me – creative and scientific – I could never live so ‘organized’ as is required in the scientific world, and art helps also to preserve my essence . I do call myself a ‘dysfunctional’ artist though…Yes! I use art as an excuse for my shortcomings, haha! Gods forgive me…
I think that I will join on what Peter Ustinov said few months before he died. He said: “Now that I have grandchildren, I really must decide what to do with my life!”
I think that at the age of 72 I still will have no idea of what I want to become…I am pretty sure of it! I will always be ‘on the outlook’ and in the meantime doing what’s best for the moment and just being what I am best at: me. (And also doubting whether I am a ‘good enough’ artist and whether the world out there truly needs to see my creations…)
Hathor’s Tribe: Do you plan out your work before you do it, or does it evolve
organically?
I tried to ‘plan’ in the past…I still try actually. But it never works! In fact, all that planning leaves me feeling incapable of creating! Just the idea drives me crazy! But since I am trained in self-punishment since an early age, I am still trying, haha! But in the end it all comes to the simple fact that planning a creation becomes an act similar of doing the dishes…you never seem to enjoy it when you have to do it, ‘cause that’s ‘a part of everyday life’…Needless to say I am hell to live with…Every single day is unpredictable in its rhythm. Nothing is planned, all is one big chaos. (I call it my ‘creative mess’ by the way.) But when you look back at it all, you do see some sort of plan you had no idea of actually existing…!
Hathor’s Tribe: Is there a mental process? do you have a question to ask or answer?
Sometimes I do, yes. I am working on my second album right now, and my albums are always a journey, I try to tell a sort of story. I do try to leave more questions to my audience, than answers. I love to create that space in my creations, where the audience also becomes the creator themselves, and creates their own truth. So you will never find me explaining what I exactly mean! Perhaps if I will not burn all of my diaries and note books before my death, some historians will have something to re-chew one day! That is if they find me interesting enough…Guess I will be burning them anyhow, ahem…
Hathor’s Tribe: If you have had formal training, do you feel your educational
process
hindered your artistic expression in anyway?
ONE BIG Y E S !!! Educational facilities make art an institution, like prisons and marriage, if you ask me for examples. They try to submit art to rules. I could get away with anything, all I had to do was act as if I was ‘brilliant’ and ‘un.under.stood’ and I could never stick to any of the assignments. And how I tried!
So I ended losing respect for my teachers and actually starting hating the whole thing! Plus I was always arguing with them on how my work was not how they-taught-art-to-be. The good thing about it was that I actually doubted whether I was good enough, so I worked even harder…Not for someone else’s approval, but for my own pride and improvement.
Besides all mentioned it was pretty early in life that I discovered that most teachers in educational facilities for art were themselves failed artists. So when someone with real vision and potential happened to become their student, they could not hide their discomfort of being so heavily confronted with their own shortcomings. So they acted like little kids who broke the doll they could not possess, for it was never theirs in the first place. I always pitied them in a way…Luckily I did find teachers waiting on my path who helped me to stop re-inventing the wheel and actually use my time for better purposes. Those people were also the ones who actually forbade me to put one step at the above mentioned institutions. All very respected names, so here’s your paradox and a scream for change!
Hathor’s Tribe: Do you use the creative process to express your internal conflicts
or to
purge yourself of emotions?
Tricky question…for where is that thin line when art ceases to be art and starts becoming therapy? We artists are such emotional, touched with fire people, that you almost shout : “Both!” And step back for where it that thin line…? Do you see it anywhere? I know I do, but I am not telling….that kind of thing.
Hathor’s Tribe: If so, do you feel that art can be a kind of therapy?
To quote a fellow artist (who’s also a dear friend):
“Art without audience actually becomes therapy.”
So the answer is ‘yes’. Art has proven to be essential in psychotherapy and they still discover all of its benefits. But then again, an artist is not a patient.
And speaking for myself: I actually NEED a session once finished working…!!!
Hathor’s Tribe: What is your opinion about the current art movements which focus on
dark
imagery?
I say it’s just another hype. The humanity feels that they have finally admitted to have tasted that healthy piece of fruit Eve snacked upon a while ago, and with this current ‘dark’ movement they think they finally after all those centuries do not care of pretending to be one big chunk of all the deadly seven sins.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the dark side, very much actually. My creations show that I love my dark side and cherish it, for it literally gives me depth. It’s again the “where’s that thin line?” issue. But again, when I look at some of the ‘current dark imageries’ I become infuriated, for I feel the artist has no right to use their audience as an outlet of their hatred, and actually pretend they are the ‘mirrors’ of nowadays societies! That kind of art always leaves me feeling drained. It’s pure energetical vampirism if you ask me!
And there are other artists who use their dark side in such a way, that simply leaves me breathless…Their darkness actually has a lot of light in it, hope is always present. Hope never ceases to exist. As if the torch they have in their hands does indeed expose the surrounding darkness, but also leads the way.
I do have one thing to say to all those ‘tormented artists’ out there who seem to have this burning urge to burden their audiences with all that unprocessed garbage inside of them (the one they fail to take responsibility for and have a closer look at):
“You all scream: ‘I can kill!’
But can you also say: ‘ I can resurrect?’”
Thank you…
Hathor’s Tribe: Do you make art for yourself, or do you have a market in mind?
Well, none of the above actually. I do not make art for myself only, and I certainly do not have any markets in mind. The latter would be like ‘adjusting’ or trying to ‘fit in’. Ugh…!
Hathor’s Tribe: Do you believe that art has a higher purpose, other than to
decorate a
room?
Yes, I do. Definitely. It is a reminder to humans that the things are not the way they seem. Art gives humanity hope, it makes their heart skip a beat, it increases the awareness to look from different of perspectives. It also helps to escape from the dreadful reality of everyday routine.
But I also believe the two can live happily ever after side by side. For they also need each other. And there are as many forms of art as there are sorts of people. So art will always have a higher purpose AND be able to decorate your room splendidly! Let’s just hope your paining will not be used in a same way as a poster…
if so, please explain?
ooh! missed that…please return to number 13.
Hathor’s Tribe: If you could meet any artist from the past who would it be?
Leonardo da Vinci is the first name that jumps into my head! So be it!
Hathor’s Tribe: In what way do you want to be remembered?
For just one thing I wanted since the days I could finally express my desire in words:
“ To inspire people to be(come) their authentic selves.
Links where you can find Elektra Goncharova's work:
www.elektramusic.org/
people.tribe.net/25977541-...6076fa1c42
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