Heidi Love's topics - tribe.net

ONLY LOVE

2008-07-06T07:39:10Z

Heids,
I feel you so strong these days.........5 months since you've passed coming up.
The cycle of 5 that we love so much. you brewing something up aren't you?

The healing of you......does it ever end?....or does it serve to continously remind me...teach me......awaken me on my path and the gift, of not only your life, but your death?

Time passes and the layers get deeper........transformation synergizes......new memories coming to life......
Your passing has been a portal of initiation for our tribe..... ripple effects keep unforling.....wings expanding...the seeds growing.....
We're still getting it together pixie......just wait.....you'll see. the Hathors will make sure of it......and all the bits and bobs.

Oh sweet sista, you still melt me.....and make me laugh.....may we always do that together.....
Your light shines in the dark.....sparkles actually......
love you foreva...
thank you thank you thank you...for staying so close in the wings of my heart.
ONLY LOVE ~ N

"All death is redemptive, becuase all death returns each soul to the truth of itself, to the truth of life, the truth of God- and every person who is touch by any death is opened to this truth, and so, may experience it as well.
No death is ever wasted. All death brings a message to those that leave the earth and to those that remain. It is for you to seek that message and to find it, to hear it, to heed it."
--Neale Donald Walsch. Home with God.

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

my version of the story, part 1

2008-06-07T17:27:46Z

i've been sitting on this for a few weeks, editing, writing, and so forth. it's not perfect, but here is my version of the heidi story- what really happened, and the tale of the funeral and memorial in bali. pics to follow.
for those of you that don't know, heidi left this plane on march 10, 2008 via multiple stab wounds in bali, leaving many questions. (at this time, her murderer is in custody-supposedly-if in fact he confessed, as the police say, but the balinese police are pretty shady.)
*****

and so i begin my momentous task of telling the tale of heidi's ascension. the tale of community strength and love on the magical island of bali. even if you did not know heidi, i believe this is a truly valuable transmission of kindness, love, transmutaion and community. I humbly offer up my experience as a tribute to the queen of the pixies, our guardian angel, in the hopes that we can carry on her legacy of humility, fabulosity, kindness and above all, love.
i arrived in bali on feb 21st along with 8 others, all on the same flight: elijah, natalia, prashanti, micheal kang, joe, zoriaan, gina and carlita, on thursday afternoon. we were greeted by a very radiant and pregnant pema and escorted to her home and villas nearby to settle. when we arrived, there was supposed to be a viewing of heidi's body that evening. however, by the time we landed all of that had changed. isis, raven and a few other full power goddesses had been doing ritual with heidi's body for hours the previous day, laying crystals upon her, decorating her and preparing her for the viewing. however, her return to the earth was making the reality of viewing her less and less plausible by the minute, and her spirit had whispered that it was quite unnecessary for us to see her body. this was the beginning of many rapid-fire changes to come.

i had expected coming to bali would bring me peace right away and was not prepared to feel what i felt. rather than being comforted, i was thrust right into the midst of an unsolved murder of a dearly loved one. i felt turbulent, confused and beset with sorrow. humbly i found that those who had been present through the whole ordeal were the strongest an did much more to comfort me than i to them. they had been up to their ears in the logistics of the storm and by then the very worst was over, they were simply busying themselves about the task of preparing for the weekend of ceremony and celebration. they didn't have much time to stop and reflect as did. in fact, hours after i arrived, they received word that the hindu priest would be unable to perform the traditional hindu ceremony and cremation that was planned, because heidi was not a hindu. so, less than 24 hours before her ceremony and cremation, they were faced with the task of designing the ceremony from scratch. headed up by eve, isis, tina, raven and about 6 other women, they powwow-ed and planned the ceremony as well as found a new location for it. it was truly mind-boggling what they pulled together and handled that evening alone-much less overrall.

later that evening as i sat in the corner of place where the memorial was to be held the following night, tears filled my eyes and questions filled my head. at that point most of us who had just arrived didn't know much more than the papers had told us, which turned out to be mostly lies which deeply upset the family and friends. however, those in bali had been too busy to reach out and fill us in, and still were.
i wept in the corner as pots and pots filled with hundreds of peacock plumes, crystals, statues, colorful fabrics and busy feet passed in front of me. who else but brendt, my beloved friend, and one of heidi's nearest and dearest, came over to offer me love. brendt had been staying in heidi's villa for 2 weeks before the murder, along with her cousin and dear friend tina. both of them just "happened" to be in bali those previous 2 weeks, sharing love and laughter with heidi. consequently, they had become the "rocks" of the whole scenario, dealing with all the most gruesome logistics as well as planning and organizing both the bali and australia ceremonies. no better two angels could have been selected in all the world for the job, and i believe this is heidi's design.

the following story is not what the whole story, nor the most important part, but i believe it needs telling simply so the truth only can be the only story left. we need to stop reading the news. the reporters at the scene of the crime were jackals-smilling at our family when they were sobbing, trying to get pictures, invoking a few of our friends to smack a camera or two. we need to not feed into that energy anymore. however, until now it is all many of you overseas have had. now i will tell you the truth from those who were there as events unfolded and your questions can be put to rest. however, keep in mind that heidi wishes for us to focus on her life and not her death, which was joyous as her smile reflected. she also wishes us all to know that this was indeed divine design. any number of small details could have changed what happened, but it was not to be. this path has allowed heidi to undo lifetimes of karma and bring us to the depths of our beings to transmute darkness into light and come together as a community as never before. this was a truth she practiced her whole life. her job now is to serve as our guardian and guide in the coming shift. this is indeed a momentous blessing to us all.

brendt told me the tale of how he and many others had heard the news. initially they had just been told that heidi was unconscious. they all hopped in a cab and raced to seminyak form ubud. en route, they got the call from kitty ben that heidi was not only unconscious, she was dead. brendt said that he lost it harder than ever before in his life, right there in the cab. they screamed and wept and wailed at the top of their lungs. but there was little time for that when they reached the scene, which by then was an absolute mob scene of cops, onlookers and press.

brendt and tina were admitted inside the villa as family and were the only ones who saw heidi up close. she was laying in a sheet on the floor and he said she looked very peaceful. brendt believes heidi was asleep at the time of the attack. her computer and phone were stolen but not anything else. she had been sleeping in the downstairs bedroom only because her upstairs room had been freshly painted. heidi had been waiting on curtains she had ordered to arrive because her room was quite visible to field outside, which was filled with workers on the daily. the intruder, if he had any observation skills, could have assumed heidi was the only one home by her single bike outside, and that she was asleep in her room because the light in the room she was often seen in was out.

heidi had remained home alone while everyone else went to a gathering at jessica and issaac's in ubud, only because she was preparing the house for mariano's arrival the following day. mariano found out of her passing right before he got on the plane. mariano's plan in bali was to stay for a couple months visiting heidi and producing, of all things, practical and ceremonial knives and daggers.
mariano also came over to comfort me that first night in bali. may i say that mariano's strength and courage have inspired me deeply. "one thing that this has brought me," he said, "is honoring through recognition. we need to clean up all those lacy bits on the fringes of our lives which no longer serve our purpose. this is NOT a dress rehearsal." then he laid there and held me while i cried. mariano has held a deep space for healing, strength and support through this process. he has recognized how life is taking him rapidly from boy to man. he has been able to come to acceptance and transmute his pain into strength. we all can learn a lot from mariano- he was the chosen one who loved heidi and whom heidi loved when this happened. if he can hold himself with such grace, we can also overcome the pain we feel at the loss of our beloved friend.

the very very first ones on the scene were kitty ben, paulina and believe. that night i also got taste of believe's story. Believe, believing heidi was only unconscious, ran around frantically asking everyone why there was no doctor present, determined with all of his being to get her to a hospital even if she was already dead. he told me his tale with so much fire that i could feel everything he must have felt as the officer he asked if she was breathing turned to him and slowly shook his head. the nightmare was just beginning. he felt it in every cell of his body.

following the discovery that heidi had indeed passed, it was our friends who made the investigation happen. birdy, kitty, niko and the guys took charge. the police seemed less than trustworthy. it was us who pointed out things amiss, places to fingerprint, and pressured them to trace the calls that had been made 2 and from heidi's phone before and after the murder. it was our friends who were interrogated around the clock. it was our family who peed in cups in the middle of the night because they were afraid to go to the bathroom alone. it was us who endured storms for days following the murder, so vicious that they blew out a glass window in one home, knocking over items on an altar. many of them believed heidi's spririt was not at rest. gatherings, prayers and offerings happened daily.
one thing was sure: no one in bali rested much that first week.

allow me to fast forward.
i need to get to the heart of the matter-hopefully to give you a taste of what i felt, the shift that happened, when the power shifted into our hands to design and perform the ceremony. it was night and day-it was nothing short of a miracle.
i ended up sharing a villa with micheal kang and prashanti, (whom i had never met and have become my soul brothers!) gina and joe. i didnt sleep too well that first night-my dreams were crowded and i awoke to terrifying thunder claps before dawn. all of us awoke and prepared. i wore all white-it seemed only appropriate to me. i adorned myslef with long white feather earrings i got in brazil. the last time i saw heidi, i had given her some too. i quickly wove some peacock feathers into my hair and took the playafied boots heidi had custom made for me out of a dusty plastic bag and put them on. i was always only a moment away from collapsing in a pool of sorrow. i missed her-i missed her so very deeply.

we arrived at the ceremony and i wandered in. the first person i saw was linda, who i had not seen the night before. no words were exchanged, we simply enfolded each other and the tears flowed. the altar was being finished, the coffin was in the center of the open air space covered in rose petals. huge bunches of peacock feathers sprouted out from every bench. it was the first time i saw heidi's blood family, her mother, father, twin brothers, and various relatives. the ceremony was about to begin, i could feel it. the women were gathered on the left side of the casket, the men, all donning traditional balinese garb, on the right. i had been given a job to sage people as they entered the ceremony, but i didn't know if i was up to my duty. my heart felt sopping wet, gray as the drizzling sky.

i headed to the bathroom and as i emerged, they were announcing that any women who felt called were to come up and take a balinese-style umbrella from the men and lead everyone on on a procession all around the graveyard, back into the ceremony where they would be saged and given feathers to bless and be burned with heidi's body. In that moment i found my strength and walked directly from the bathroom to the front where i happened to be the one to receive a purple umbrella-my soul's color. I was handed sage and a lighter by gina as i walked past her and she reminded me of my duty. Out we walked, with every person present following single file, into the rain, in silence. The walk took just long enough to get into a space of deep reverence, all the way around the long balinese graveyard.

When i reached the entrance to the ceremony, suddenly nothing seemed as important as my sage duty. I became so intent on my task, looking into the eyes and saging every person that passed through the gate, that I lost awareness of all else. I ended up doing as many full body squats as people who attended as I saged their feet. i was so in the spirit realm that I failed to feel this in my physical body- and i had a very hard time walking for the next 2 days, my quads were so sore!! i got so present that i could actually see the sage purifying people's energy fields. i always knew this was the purpose, but this is the first time have actually SEEN it do that. i will certainly never look at it the same way again.

finally we all had entered, and i can say that the vibe was totally changed to this palpable soft strength. we had created a safe space we could cry and sing into.
it was time to let go.

the ceremony began with Isis addressing everyone. I cannot say enough about the space Isis held the day. She embodied the Goddess herself, soft yet strong, commanding everyones attention, softly guiding and inviting, reminding us all that each of us was an integral part of this ceremony.

Heidi's closest women friends all stood on the left looking absolutely gorgeously adorned, the men on the right in traditional dress. her mother was on the right side of the coffin, her father stood on the left. the rest sat in benched facing heidi. We all stood and faced each of the four directions together, and a perosn appointed to hold each space spoke about the energy they were embodying. then we all sat down and the rest unfolded.

I cannot remember the order things went, i wept through most of the ceremony as i waded through my wet heart. but it was a different kind of weeping now, it was filled with peace and blasted open hearts who had finally found a proper home for thier grief. i felt so incredibly honored to be among the lovers of heidi-i felt her in each one there. and in that moment, we were all family. there were moments of singing songs heidi loved, icaros and reciting beautiful words. each moment was so perfectly aligned. at one moment pema was playing a singing bowl and spontaneous toning arose, softly at first, then growing louder. i have never before heard my voice trembling like that-a deep tone that rose from deep down, like a tibetan monk. all of the sudden we were all raising our voices to the heavens as one long tone. then, it subsided naturally and the ceremony continued. it was incredible!!

we touched upon aya medicine work, tibetan buddhism, paganism, fairie magic and balinese traditions. no stone was left unturned in the honoring of heidi.

one thing i will never be able to erase from my memory was the image of her mother and father on either side of the casket. he mother was looking upward, smiling a smile of radiant joy. there was no mistaking she was communing with her beloved daughter. her father's face was trembling, but he held his ground. you could tell that what was unfolding around him would change his life forever.

at the end of the ceremony we all sang a traditional african song that heidi loved as we all processed to the altar to leave our blessings for heidi in the feathers we carried, to be burned with her. Isis had instructed us to whisper our prayers in pixie language into the feathers. it was pretty cute to hear us all speaking in pixie tongues, even those who might not have done so at any other time and place. we also called out a loud "creature call" all together, whooping like banshees. that sure released some energy :).

there were so many incredibly potent moments: mariano kneeling before her coffin in prayer, the 2 bens that have both been lovers and super deep soul brothers to heidi kneeling together to offer up their feathers, heidi's adorable 21-year old twin brothers weeping together almost shattered me. it was safe for all of us to let the tears flow, and flow they did. without the waterproof mascara, i would have looked like a battered woman.

however, there were these intense blasts of peace and what can only be described as fluttering of wings. it was pixie, flying about. at one part of the ceremony we all collectively prayed for her ascension and i could feel it happening. the rain stopped and the clouds parted for the first time in a week. she was rising. in another extremely potent moment, we invoked forgiveness for heidi's killer. it felt like my heart was breaking open and being blasted with light.

never in my life have i seen, felt, and heard the power of ceremony so vividly as that day we laid her to rest. when i offered heidi my feathers, i made a vow i intend to keep. suddenly, looking around, i saw the impossible be made possible: heidi's death had become a blessing. people who never would have met were embracing, and the balinese families on the perimeter were getting to see how we do it for one of our own. i honestly felt we have left a huge impact on this country.

at the end of the ceremony we were all supposed to circle the casket 3 times and then exit the ceremony, led by brendt who was holding pixie's picture high overhead. however, there was little movement. no one wanted to leave. we all just kind of clumped around the casket, inching forward, holding each other. finally brendt called for the crowd to disperse and only the core family was left. then heidi's casket was carried through the doors into the crematorium. isis followed with an owl wing in each hand and stood by the door, weaving and waving them through the cremation.

it was done. she was free. it was unmistakable. the veil had lifted, and our pixie finally got her wings. the sun came out, and the change in our hearts was like night and day. heidi herself wouldn't have had it any other way. the love was so thick- you could feel the tenderness vibrating like a singing bowl. i felt cleansed, reborn. except for the fact that my eyes felt crispy form crying and i was starving, i felt completly content.

later that night we all congregated at the memorial. it was held at a very beautiful and lush restaurant in seminyak that had a large open air lounge up top. it was decorated in fantastic hues of pink, purple and blue, and of course, feathers and a fantastic altar. niko put together a slide show of all the pics people had sent in and we all sat on the floor, propped on fluffly pillows, smiling as we watched. the evening was an informal tribute for anyone who wished to offer up prayers, songs, poems and the like.

jamie janover made a moving speech about heidi, saying she had most certainly not died-only changed forms. he said if you were to put it another way, imagine you were inside a womb with a baby, and one day the baby just disappeared. you might assume it died or ceased to exist, but in reality it had simply left the womb and begun its life. such was the case with heidi, only we had been left in the womb. however, she had not died, she had become more alive and present than ever before. it gave me the chills...! then he played his dulcimer for heidi, "because i know she's listening." it was otherworldly!! jamie is not only a musical virtuoso, but a channel.

also that evening sheena did a traditional balinese dance, elijah sang beautifully, i offered a song i wrote for bali and completed for heidi, cassandra led us in a beautiful chant, and a song written and recorded by anahata and cohen was played, who were not there. we ended with a beatbox circle led by kyrian, which heidi loved, and a creature call. we sang loud, every one of us. beautiful printed pamphlets were created and passed out as mementos of the event, reading on the cover "in celebration of: heidi murphy, now in the arms of the divine."

her beautiful family were really feeling the magic: heidi's mother was glowing and thanking and hugging all of us for honoring her daughter in the best way imaginable.
gina and i were touched by the fact that heidi's mother had been accompanied to bali by 6 of her closest friends for support. SIX!!! we all would be so blessed at 62 years old to have 6 friends go across the seas just to hold our hand in a time of need.

i will share a story that makes me cry every time i think of it from that night. gina got in a conversation with heidi's mother after the memorial. she was saying that everything that happened had actually been perfect, and a blessing, including the murder. heidi had been behind it all, she said, weaving the magic to bring us all together. she said of course she missed her daughter, and would love to see her in the flesh again, but that her daughter was not gone, but with all of us all the time. "you can feel her, physically, still." she said. she extended her palms in front of her. "hold out your hands and close your eyes," she said to gina. "you can feel heidi's hands touching yours." and indeed she did.

**********
more to come, the story of her party that followed is unbelievable!

posted in Heidi Love - 8 replies

ashes and seeds--written 2/25

2008-04-16T03:18:21Z

I am born with the light into a world i can not remember dreaming.
I rise with the day inside an unfamiliar song.
I am inside a body, inside a family, inside a world.
I ask for nothing, yet receive so much, my palms overflowing with salt and flowers, ash and fruit.
An electric buzz of insects rises steep from the density of green that surrounds me and just as quickly fades away.

I am still here.

Shadows play upon leaf tops, beloveds intertwine beneath, the river charges towards and away, life is so undeniably real.
I would dissolve into an offering of smoke and song if it didn't seem so true that I am more of use in solid form, dissolving hard knots of human story into another sort of offering.

I am still here.
Even as Death catches me from behind and sweeps me across a grand dancefloor of cracked bones and burnt hair, even as i stare into the empty sockets of everyone's final lover, even as a red river runs in rivulets over my skin--that skin is warm, and holds a quickening within it.
I am still here.

Even as the solid forms of a known world dissolve in the flames of the funeral pyre, somehow I am still here.
And so are you, beloved opal keeper, feather finder, nectar seeker.
You are all around me even as you are gone you are not gone.
Even as I feel myself dissolving I am still here.

I hold a rose quartz skull in my right hand and a golden serpent in my left. The ochre of a homeland I do not posses spirals across my palms. The fire is being built, the songs are being sung, somewhere in the world there is a blade stained with innocent blood. Somewhere in the world are the hands that wield it.

Each pair of hands holds different work--mining the opals, sifting the bones, painting the ochre, ringing the bell, fanning the flame
but the hands that wield the knife--how is that work given?
How is that work placed sacred into a human vessel to wreak its havoc upon our world?

It is not for understanding.

Bring me those hands and I swear I will wash the blood from them.
I will offer myself to the resolution of this pain.
If such a thing can be called into the world, I will raise my voice in supple power to create a song of truth triumphant and justice compassionate.
I will drink the salty labor of forgiveness until the water runs clear.

And if those hands never come to me for washing, somehow I will remain.
Somehow each day will still rise through me into dreaming.

posted in Heidi Love - 2 replies

superfreak Video

2008-04-02T22:41:19Z

hey family,
We are here in The Land of Oz, preparing a family gathering to celebrate Heidi's crossing the rainbow bridge tomorrow.
In this time of release and celebration for Heidi, I want to offer up a video of her that was taken at sunrise at a festival here in Oz in Jan. '07
This clip brings me lots of laughter and of course a touch of sadness... but most of all I cherish the opportunity to hear her voice again and another moment to be bathed in Pixie fabulousness.
I hope this brings a smile to your heart....
All my love and blessing
a x.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX4-UmnsFgs

posted in Heidi Love - 1 reply

Just Returned from Indonesia... Heidi's Ascention Party....

2008-04-02T07:08:22Z

Thank you so much Amae, for painting the picture for those of us who weren't able to be there in the flesh... I just read your recount of the ceremonies and could see it vividly. The collective consciousness of Heidi's entire network was and has remained exponentially tapped in during these momentous days... and the prayers, channelings, visualizations, and connections are abundant!

I have just returned from a month in Bali, and am happy to report that the family seems in good spirits... still processing our own pains and confusions, but resting assured that Heidi is now in the highest place, offering signs and messages to us that are evidence of her ever-living spirit. She is so beautiful!

Most everyone seems to be a bit clearer now, accepting what has happened and moving on, but honoring Heidi each and every day - still consciously praying, reminiscing, communing with her spirit, and applying the lessons learned.

Isis and the Oracle threw a Rainbow Bridge Gathering at Santa Mandala outside of Ubud on March 29th, which was the 49th day after Heidi's passing and also, cosmically, the 37th day after her cremation, which are significant numbers in the Tibetan and, respectively, Balinese tradition. We celebrated all night long in Heidi's honor, and musicians, performers, dancers and DJs got to express our offerings through sound and movement. Mid-way through this ascention party we all sat down and watched a video that Niko had edited, showing cuts of Heidi during the original filming of the BenBenStone Bali video, and other great moments of Heidi in her element. As we were watching this, I noticed at least twice a beautiful winged creature (a bat or bird?) flutter in front of the projection screen making shadows against it, and then flutter away. Also, twice in video there were audio and visual edits of lightning bolts... and cosmically, nearly simultaneously, lightning flashed through the valley behind us at Sylvius'. I sensed that this was Heidi, showing us her presence, and giggling at the ways she could manipulate nature now - in her immortal form - sending us signs of love and gratitude!

Channelers who don't even know Heidi have told us that she is in extreme gratitude of the way she has been honored by our tribe and extended family, and i too, sense this. I feel that she is above and beyond what we can even imagine is peace and bliss... keep your ears and eyes open for the messages she is sending.. we can learn so much from her right now.

Love to all, blessings to all!

posted in Heidi Love - 1 reply

Reaching out from bali...are people still wanting more details, if yes, let me know and i will make time to share what i know

2008-03-31T23:06:20Z

it has been such a full on rollercoaster ride over here in bali and it has been difficult to even make time to sit at an internet cafe, let alone to discuss details from a super challenging time for everyone. But more and more things are settling down and emotions are balancing out and clarity is coming. So i just wanted to reach out and offer that i am willing to try and share more details if people have specific requests/questions. it is not fun to talk about these things, but i know it must be very hard to feel left out of important details about all of this. I could not find the strength to go there in the past few weeks...but i am here now, offering this up. but i am not sure if it is still desired, and if so, what exactly people are feeling like they don't know but want to know more of. so if you feel it, just let me know what you hope to know more about and i will try. And please know that everyone over here has just been so consumed by dealing with the most immediate aspects of our reality here that taking the time to sit at a computer and discuss details about what happened (there are just so many levels and aspects) has not been at the top of the priority list. no one has intended to exclude anyone or leave anyone in the dark, it has just been thick and emotional and exhausting and ever changing....but i am here now, and i think i have the energy and focs to take this on. this is my offering, you need only ask and i will do my best to share.
much love and gratitude,
jessica

posted in Heidi Love - 8 replies

THE ALCHEMY OF LOVE

2008-03-25T07:29:31Z

You come to us
from another world

From beyond the stars
and void of space.
Transcendent, Pure,
Of unimaginable beauty,
Bringing with you
the essence of love

You transform all
who are touched by you.
Mundane concerns,
troubles, and sorrows
dissolve in your presence,
Bringing joy
to ruler and ruled
To peasant and king

You bewilder us
with your grace.
All evils
transform into
goodness.

You are the master alchemist.

You light the fire of love
in earth and sky
in heart and soul
of every being.

Through your love
existence and nonexistence merge.
All opposites unite.
All that is profane
becomes sacred again.

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

with us forever in our thoughts energy and dreams, beautifull goddess of insperation, to you i thank for who i am now!!!

2008-03-24T16:42:46Z

goddess of light, to you i say this blessing, as you travel now through to your galactic star. for the short time i met you , you made a huge impact on my life, you graced me with your energy, and beautiful soul. with out words you showed me what its like to be free, to be complete within your self. now you are out there amoungst every flower, every breeze of air ,every feather ,every light every star you are there!!! now you are free fly high girl. i am honered to of been a part of your life.
love to you always in my thoughts!

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

HEIDI, OLD GROWTH FORESTS, NEED, GREED, LIGHT AND LOVE

2008-03-12T02:28:49Z

Hi there,

Since in the midst of things in Bali, I have been creating/compiling a narrative of the events around Heidi's Ascension. It is about 70 pages now, but I just posted about 13 of those pages on my blogsite http:://www.earthdais.com. On Earthdais I basically render Heidi as a specific example of the destruction of Gaia, and then generalize from there what can be learned from it and how we can change and create change. Feel free to make comments on Earthdais as I feel that there more people will see the views of the Tribe, of those that want to live sustainability.

Cutting out the 13 pages to make it appropriate for earthdais made it a bit choppy, and the 70 page version makes much more sense, but that is not quite done.

Also feel free to make any comment here as well. Thanks.

Prashanti

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

a month today..

2008-03-11T00:51:19Z

since she changed forms.
as this landmark gives way to many more, may we all remember to remember her light, grace, joy and FUN!
my heart extends to all of you closest to her, especially family. remember the joy we felt as we were all gathered in her honor. keep that, and let us make our relationships stronger as a tribute to our beloved pixie. i love you all.
to all of you who did not have the pleasure of joining us in bali, open your hearts beyond the grief of the story and invite pixie in for a little counsel. she is always there, smiling, laughing, and ready to help us on our way.
could we have ever asked for a better guardian angel?
thank you heidi, for inspiring more love than i knew was possible.
i love you always, all ways.
xoxox
amae

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

Slide show tonite Satya Yuga 7:30

2008-03-08T21:20:17Z

Hi loves,
Just wanting to remind folks last minute that we are gathering tonite Saturday March 10 at Satya Yuya in Oakland at 7:30 to share a slideshow of pics we took in Heidi's ceremony and celebrations in Bali last week. Parshanti has some amazing downloads to share. Please bring some food, drink, song, prayer or whatever feels good for you. I'll bring heidi's ashes that we're going to scatter in the next days. Calling in the gathering of family in community once again around this transformational passing in this new moon time. Tuning into our collective process around loss and death with intention.
Love you all familia. thank you for all the deep moments to share and be present in Love.

Natalia

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

My Beautiful Sister Heidi

2008-03-06T14:53:04Z

Thank you to all the beautiful people that came to Bali. You all made Heidi's cremation and wake celebrations so amazing. I will never see anything like that again, and I now have magical memories that will last a life time. I'm so greatful that you all were apart of Heidi's life, and loved Heidi so much as she loved you all back. She has the most loving and caring friends i've ever met. And a special THANK YOU to Tina, Brendt and Isis. Without you 3, none of it was possible. Love you 3 to bits.
Ben xx

posted in Heidi Love - 5 replies

29th Feb 2008

2008-03-06T08:25:26Z

So many lifetimes have led to this moment. The healing of the ages through the total embodiment of love.

You are blessed.

This sound shall ring forth through all the universe. The sound of my kiss to you all, the sound of a gentle whisper to a baby from its mother. The fire of transmutation has been lit within my heart, a blue flame, transparent, burning with light. All that passes through shall be turned to gold.

All that choose the path of their truth and of love in this time bracket shall pass through this flame.

The burning away of illusion and the embracing of the totality of love within.

A baby's 1st breath. All that arrises within you now is for the purpose of this. This healing, this shift, this returning to love. Let your old stories melt away & feel the wings on your backs russell in the winds of change.

The dawn. Morning light is key. Absorb it like its your petrol, like it is pure gold in the form of light, remember this.

You have this strength to carry this child. The birth of the new paradigm. You have each other. Make your bonds even tighter with each other now.

Allow your body to remember itself, vibrational speech, codes of the forefathers of light. Codes of creation and co-creation. The birth of the new. Watch your wings form created out of light, gold and love.

Allow your ears to hear the whisper of angels calling you to service. Calling you to let-go & allow healing to occur. You have support.

Timelessness. Breath in timelessness. Ascension is through the breath alone. Meet me at the gateway.

Ka.

I cannot speak of love. For it alone is your total teacher. You are all already masters of love. The mind is the only limitation.

Breath in light.

The idea that your heart is wounded is an illusion. The heart is pure and already healed. The mind casts shadows which can be filtered away with a true trust in love.

Naga Kanya. The birth of the winged one. Evolution and the tests of the ages.

Pray for forgiveness. For this lineage has strayed from the path many a time.
This time it can be healed for once and for all. Please pray for forgiveness and the strength to forgive. This I ask of all of you.

The 7th ray. I beam to the hearts of all. There is only love at the end and only love in the beginning.

The clouds will be lifted soon enough and beautiful fields of possibility lye for each and every one of you.

There are no limitations.

Breath in love, breath out forgiveness.

..........................

Heidi

zoriaan

posted in Heidi Love - 2 replies

More Dreams

2008-03-06T05:00:12Z

As I sit and recount the last few months of being on this planet and all of the intensity of 2008, a few things seem to be sticking out like giant homing beacons....not to be ignored. I am especially moved by a dream I had on January 18th while I was in Kauai, which I consider, like many, to be the crown chakra of the Hawaiian Islands. I have been personally experiencing one of the most poignantly introspective winters I can remember, lots of processing and letting go of patterns, relationships and associated attachments. On January 18th, I had one of the most vivid dreams I can remember. For the most part, I am not one that remembers my dreams every night which made this one especially powerful.
In my dreamspace, I was sitting around a fire with a whole bunch of people, but no one I recognized in particular. It soon became apparent that we were sitting around a funeral pyre and that we were to witness a cremation. Soon afterwards, some people carried out a body of a man and placed him in the middle of the pyre. As the body began to catch flame, the person suddenly awoke and with no apparent signs of distress, decided that he was, indeed, not yet read to be set aflame. He slowly patted his body down and the flames did not manage to engulf him as he walked away from the fire and back into the crowd. Nobody in my dream seemed to be too startled by this turn of events.
After a few moments, another person, who could not be mistaken for deceased, intentionally walked right into the fire and sat in lotus position in the middle of the pyre in an apparent act of self immolation. I distinctly remember the look of complete calm on his face and after a few moments, his face actually started to glow a golden amber hue as if the fire was emanating from within his core. A few moments passed and then the man calmly arose and walked out of the flames and back into the circle. Again, nobody seemed to be too startled by this turn of events.
A few short moments later, another person, this time a woman, repeated the act of self imposed non-combustion. Same thing for her....she sits lotus position, the flames having no effect on her except for the eventual inner glow she attained before she too walked away unscathed by the flames. Soon after that, I awoke and promised myself that I would not forget this dream.
Having just returned from Heidi's ceremony in Bali and subsequently thrown myself headlong back into the intensity of life in the US, I have felt truly transformed by my time witnessing Heidi's "change of state". The dream I had a full month before Heidi's passing seems to make a lot more sense in many ways. I believe that we are all lucky to be alive and to have each other to reflect life and love. I was completely blown away by the grace, courage and love of the community that has come together to share in this experience, and I have absolutely no doubt that Heidi is continuing to weave magic in the realms she now resides in. I, like many, feel her presence more poignantly than ever, and her continuous plea to choose love over and over again. So, I offer my gratitude to all of you and even through all of the intensity and suffering, see so much joy, levity and love as well. Thanks for the reflections!!!!

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

Heidi Slide Show, 7:30 Saturday, the 8th, Satya Yuga

2008-03-05T09:23:27Z

Hey Tribe,

Thanks to Micah Ma for opening up Satya Yuga on Saturday evening for us all. We will gather at 7:30. Feel free to bring some food and/or drink, and perhaps some cinnamon and oranges and... :)

The bulk of the pics will be from the gatherings and rituals that occurred in Bali last week, but if you have any to share, please bring them.

Besides the photographs, I took a lot of paragraphs as well, so some of that might get shared.

Pranams,

Prashanti

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

i was touched by a pixie last night... were you?

2008-03-02T02:24:09Z

yesterday i found myself perusing the photos on the tribe 'heidi love'. a tribe started for the beloved that was brutally taken from this world and our community. i was not in any of the pictures. i've not yet been to bali and even though our encounters were full of genuine love and connection, i didn't know heidi as well as i would have liked.
last night i was having some quiet time outside, petting my cat and i was thinking of all those pictures and how i felt a little sad that i hadn't been to bali and that i'm too wrapped up in my son and life that i don't always look tribal-glamorous.. when suddenly i heard a twig snap and i looked to the left. then i felt a 'tap tap' on the center of my chest. i looked forward and saw heidi. she looked deeply in my eyes and said none of that stuff mattered and that we are all connected purely through the heart and the eyes. she thanked me for praying for her peace and then like a flash she was gone. i sensed a busyness about her spirit...as if now that her loved ones had set her free she was visiting everyone with gratitude and love. when i truly felt alone again i questioned whether that just happened.. of course it did! my higher self exclaimed. and then i began to sob. heidi's soul finding peace ment that she really was gone.. i never will be in a picture with her, we'll never have time on bali together, and isis will never get another heidi sandwich (which unfortunately happened only once).. i hadn't felt such deep sadness since my mother passed away last year. but i also have never felt so connected to my community as i do now. we are all walking bravely on this path no matter how jagged or confusing it gets.
i love you all so much.
many blessings to heidi on her new pixie adventures
here is a chant i have been saying everyday lately~

OM SAHANA VAVATU SAHANA BHUNATTU
SAHA VIRYAM KARAWAVAHAI
TEJASVINAVADITAMASTU
MA VIDVISHAVAHAI
OM SHANTI SHANTI SHANTI OM

Together may be be protected
Together may we be nourished
Together may we work with great energy
May our journey together be brilliant and effective
May there be no bad feelings between us
Peace, peace, peace

posted in Heidi Love - 5 replies

cremation ceremony night

2008-03-01T23:37:14Z

Fortunate One, Child born of the Essence. Now you have reached the time of dying. All things that are born must die. We all share this same nature. Please, do not suffer, rest in peace.

In order to transcend, to travel the path of enlightenment, pray:

Exhaulted ones, Ones gone beyond, manifestations of infinite light; carry our beloved Heidi to the supremely blissful realms of becoming, guide her with your love and compassion.

From the hearts of ourselves and all the Holy Ones of the past, present and future,filling the vastness of the 10 directions. rays of light shine through all of time and space, surrounding Heidi, and infusing her with radiant blessing. Her form becomes a brilliant sphere of light , and resolves back into the essence from which all things came, a realm of absolute purity, a realm of great bliss, luminious, clear, supremely peaceful and utterly free, our own true inherent nature.

===================================================================================

Gladly do I rejoice
In the ocean of virtue from developing an Awakened mind
One that wished all beings to be happy
Wishing to relive the suffering of all.

Thus by the virtue gathered
Through all that I have done,
May the pain of every living creature
Be completely cleared away.

May I be the doctor and the medecine
And may I be the nurse
For all sick beings in the world
Until everyone is healed.

May a rain of food and drink descend
To clear away the pain of thirst and hunger
And during an age of famine
May I myself change into food and drink.

May I become an inexhaustible treasure
For those who are poor and destitute
May I turn into all things they could need
And may these be placed close beside them.

May I be a protector for those without one
A guide for all travelers on the way
A lamp for those desiring light.
A bed for those who wish to rest.

Without any sense of loss
I shall give up my body and possessions
As well as all my virtues of the three times
For the sake of benefiting all.

By giving up all, sorrow is transcended
And my mind will realize the sorrowless state.
It is best that I now give everything to all beings
In the same way I shall at death.

Just like space
And the great element earth
May I always support all life
Of all the boundless creatures.

And until they pass away from pain
May I also be the source of life
For all the realms of myriad beings
That reach unto the ends of space.

And so, for the sake of all that lives
I give birth to this Awakened mind
That wishes to relive the suffering of all
And places all beings without exception in a realm of pure bliss.

===================================================================================================

As spirtual practioners we recognize that our body is just a temporaty house for our conciousness. And it is also our most precious possession. All beings are most attatched to their bodies, their life. And yet all beings must die. This is a universal truth. In certain very advanced practices we practice giving our bodies to others. It is the most extreme gesture of generosity..

One day a demon showed up at the door of a yogi’s house. As the yogi looked at the demonic influence he saw that the mind of this being was completely filled with hate, destructive and aggressive thoughts and bad intentions. The yogi was so struck by the tremendously sad condition of the demon and the karma that he was creating, that tears came to his eyes. As the demon saw the yogi moved to tears, tears come to the demon’s eyes.
The demon recounted: Once he had visited a great yogi, who had deeply developed love and compassion. It was so deep that it even struck a cord of love and compassion in his own heart. As a result he could no longer continue in his negative ways and was completely transformed, liberated from his harmful state.
Negative beings are lost in tremendous states of suffering and confusion. No being wants to be harmful. All beings want to be loved and to be happy. Harm doers are in need of great expressions of love and compassion.

I know this is all very hard to comprehend. It is complicated to write about. I hope these words help.
I can see this in two ways. I’m not saying I know or I am right, it is just a way to see, to try to find something to hold to in very difficult circumstances.
It feels to me like we are in the very last days of these dark times. We are purifying the dregs of negativity. Heidi was a very special, and pure soul. Karma is individual and collective. Great beings can take on karma for others. Maybe Heidi was like the great yogi. By giving of oneself, we can purify vast stores of karma for oneself and all beings.
We will never really know why this happened. Heidi, like Tiffa ,was a leader, a guide, on the forefront of the community. They were trail blazers. Perhaps they went first, so that they could be there for us, when we follow.

My love goes out to you all; our sweetest One Heidi, her family, and all our friends. I am praying. If there is anything I can do, I am here. I love you, you are all so special. rigzin

posted in Heidi Love - 3 replies

She is with us!! She flies through the night sky!!! Heidi Dakini

2008-03-01T23:27:54Z

WOW
i too was visited by our beautiful Dakini warrior!!
I had the most intense and deeply cleansing ceremony with all of us gathered at Satya Yuga the other night.
during the whole ceremony i truly felt as though i was in an Ayauasca ceremony! truly a profound incredible adventure! to journey into the realms of death with our tribe! a ceremony that i have not yet experienced! I felt her hold me so tightly as i hugged the Owl wings, that where acting as oour body of Heidi in the bay. I cried out sooo hard in that moment! The owl wings we entered into the flames of cremation, and sent them/her back to the source, later that night we scattered her ashes into the ocean. I felt at piece and felt deep clearing that night.
The Day after i was Perhaps the saddest i had been throughout this whole process, after finding out about Her last moments, which where a fight for her life, that she lost. Images and visions of those last moments poured through graphically, and i was destroyed!!

I went to bed last night late at Satya Yuga, with prayers for universal peace in my mind as i drifted off.
I woke up Early in the morning b4 the sun had come up, and i felt the true presence of our beloved Dakini, i then drifted into a lucid awake dream state, where i commonly travel in my dreams. I looked up from my couchbed and saw to my right none other than Heidi!! She was sitting right there in a chair beside me, dressed in her finest and shinning the greatest love to me!!! I started balling right there in front of her! then she fiercely reminded me about the grand illusion of death, and that i was merely lamenting a shell of her true being which is deathless and infinite! She was aware! i asked her many other questions like "why did it have to be you, why did it have to go down alike this", and she sooo clearly responded to all my questions, making sure that i could maintain the strength of a yogi who sees beyond death, into the great oneness, she maintained that all was meant to be, and that her time had clearly come,she had exited her Christ year,33, and it was time for her to go home, she reminded me that she is a powerful being, a type of dakini, and that we will meet again! I still couldn't help but cry my eyes out! as we embraced, she disappeared from my sight.

I woke up back to this reality in that moment, and shared more tears for her! but was again fiercly reminded of her true being!
this meeting has given HUGE closure and support!

I am learning to trust!! please have patience with me oh Great Dakinis!!

This is not the first experience of this kind.

I have, since childhood, been incredibly intune with my dreams, and aware of my travels in the astral, anywhere from going far into the future, to checking in on my friends.
When my uncle passed a few years ago, i had many similar contact experiences, with great dialog from the other side(s).
Our spirit guides take many forms, and speak many tounges, but when one of our dear ones comes to us the the exact last form that we saw them in, it is a truly humbling experience!

I'm sure many of you, knowing it or not have had similar contacts with Heidi since her body has returned to the source.

In many cultures, including tibetan cultures, Cremation (fire burials) are reserved for only the highest of Lamas or Statesmen, the common folk are given an "air burial" by being cut into many pieces and fed to the vultures. Other burials, earth and water, likewise are reserved for other high beings. Heidi's visitation and the words she spoke to me, are evident of a masterful soul, a "Heidi~Satva" or a Mahatma, as known in Vedic traditions.

She truly Lives on , and will forever Dance in the Skies!

i love you all soooo much

Om Mani Padme Humh

Om Asato Maa Sat Gamaya
Tamaso Maa Jyotir Gamaya
Mrityor Maa Amritam Gamaya
Om Shanti Shanit Shanti

" om my i be taken from ignorance to awarness, from dark to light and from death to immortality, om peace in all worlds"

posted in Heidi Love - 1 reply

Sydney Morning Herald video about news of finding the killer

2008-02-29T13:46:13Z

Here is a link to a news story of the man who killed her. There is a gruesome photo of him and I would not recommend even looking at it unless you ant to practice some serious Metta. However, right below the pic of him is a pic of Heidi and just to the right of that there is a link to a News Video from the Sydney Morning Herald that shows some respect for Heidi, some sweet pictures of her, and her Villa as a crime scene but at least not as a mob scene. The reporter who narrates it seems really sincere, and is a relief from the predatory nature of the media before.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/i-only-meant-to-rob-heidi/2008/02/27/1203788443842.html

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

14th Feb 2008

2008-02-28T04:49:55Z

Freedom is here for many. The blood sacrifice has been made. The liberation of the heart will allow the birth of the new.

Its time. Time for change. The remembrance of love. The divine vessel of the body. Light ascension and physical integration of the true form of love...giving unto itself..free to share.

This is the beginning. Her position is taken on the throne of the hearts of all she has touched. In deep remembrance of a timeless love. The eternal fire. The keys of enoch. The songs of all hearts calling forth the birth of the new dawn.

Answer only with voice in song that stems from a direct passage to the heart.

No thought, only sound. The teachings of the Hathors, egyptian light code, ascension and the offering of love to all.

Let it fill you. Let this love be the foundations of the community of light that we are here to build.

The children are coming, the ancients to arrive, masters from the 7th light.
Please care for these children with all your love, they are the scriptures, the bringers of the dawn, winged ones.

I offer you this frequency of light, to never doubt love again, the nectar of existence flows through you, self-sustaining, feeding life.

The fire of the heart burns a light so bright as to light the way for all to create a new beginning in this now.

.....

zoriaan

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

13th Feb 208

2008-02-28T04:48:29Z

Winged glory, bring home the truth of the stars into this now, an ever cascading story of our lineage....

One that goes on and on........

This is a story ending for me...(Heidi)......but beginning for many. I hold the key to immortal timeless love, life beyond the stars I am here, guiding you all blessing you and bathing you in love.

This is your birthright. Anticipate the return of the winged ones for we have come on mass to free a paradigm, to open a gate.

Union of the most holly.

Prince to Princess, star to earth, blood to soil, birthing the new. This time is upon us now. I hold the key to whoever desires it. Love eternal. Merging after-life with the now.

Breath deep and long, for a song is to be sung, one of loss, one of gentle softness. A lullaby to put to rest a darkness that has feed for too long. "hush little baby don't you cry, muma's gona sing you a lullaby".

So long you have waited. Step up with love as your shield, love as your weapons & honor for each other. The test now is to unify. Bring together what has been apart for so long.

Have no questions of discontent. And sigh out all that must be released.

Love. Please love each other.

Trust love now. Hold your heart like a flame to light the way for other's who have entered the shadow.

Each gesture of kindness is a building block for the future. Believe this.

All stars are alike.

All light belongs to the one and all shadows are the backbone to transformation.

Be healed. Allow yourself to be healed. This is important. Allow help. Allow love and breath through me if you need to. I can carry you all with one finger if i must. The heart has no limitations, only the mind creates those.

I love you all so much.

I know this is sad but kin shall support each other now to create what we have truthfully come here to do. This is the key (egyptian ankh). Drink life and bow to eternal life in this now. I am with you.

I am love and i will guide you all. This is my gift.

Time is finishing and the new beginning is coming, it is here. You have so much support and you will know what to do......

I love you.

........

heidi

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

Indonesian police arrest man over murder - Man arrested over Heidi Murphy arrest in Bali | The Daily Telegraph

2008-02-27T20:37:12Z

We prey for our neighbors soul ....... and Justice !

I met Heidi a few times and will remember her beautiful Vibrations ..........

Greetings from Bali
yours
Silvie

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23258664-5001021,00.html

Indonesian police arrest man over Aussie's murder
By Indonesia correspondent Geoff Thompson and wires

Posted Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:29pm AEDT
Updated Sat Feb 23, 2008 1:50am AEDT

Police in Bali have arrested one man and named another suspect in relation to the stabbing murder of Sydney woman Heidi Murphy in her villa two weeks ago.

In a colourful ceremony described as multi-religious, peacock feathers and rose petals accompanied the coffin of Heidi Murphy when her remains were cremated today in Bali.

Scores of people attended the ceremony, while across town Badung police chief Ahmad Subarkah announced that an Indonesian man named Nuryanti had been arrested in central Java three days ago in connection with Ms Murphy's murder.

Police allege that Nuryanti knows what happened because he was there when the Sydney woman was stabbed to death.

"We arrested him after tracing phone numbers dialled from Heidi's cell phone," the police chief told a news conference, adding that one of the numbers was to Nuryanti's girlfriend.

He said police had confiscated a laptop and cellphone that had belonged to the victim.

Nuryanti faces a charge of carrying out a violent theft with an accomplice that led to death, which carries the death penalty.

The suspect was paraded in front of reporters and he told them: "I didn't kill her."

He admitted however that he had dropped off a friend, Ahmad Faturrozi, at Murphy's villa and saw blood on his clothes when he later collected him.

Faturrozi remains at large

posted in Heidi Love - 5 replies

beauty beyond expectation....my heart feels lighter now

2008-02-26T21:54:33Z

hello beloveds,
it is the day after Heidi's cremation ceremony and memorial. I do not yet have words to express the depth and wealth of emotion and beauty...but i feel to at least write a little.
As we prayed for, Heidi's cremation ceremony far exceeded all hopes of what beauty and love we could conjure. Thank you to all of you who tuned in and sent your prayers. I do believe Heidi's spirit is set free. It was the most precious ceremony I have ever taken part in. So much love and focused intention to help her spirit to ascend, so many tears shed, offerings made, prayers set in motion.
The early morning began with thunder and lightning and pouring rain and flooded streets. It was a challenge to get to the location for the cremation ceremony but we all made it....and then the most beautiful ceremony unfolded. i am sure there will be pictures posted soon which will paint a much better picture than i can with words. Heidi's body was the center of a beautiful altar which we all gathered around. the ceremony was ecclectic, weaving prayers, symbols, and song from many cultures. A hindu priest could not have performed the more perfect ceremony to honor our dear friend. I believe Heidi wanted her own family to create the most perfect ritual for her and we did.
We finished the ceremony by all circling her casket several times and singing a favorite African song of Heidi's. At last her body was brought into the crematorium and burned. The doors closed to the crematorium but we all stayed right there and held space while her body turned to ash. As the smoke went from dark to light to invisible, the sun came out and shone from right above us. With lighter hearts we all slowly left, only to gather in the evening for the Memorial set in a beautiful space where we shared pictures and more prayers and offerings of song and dance. What a web of light our dear sister has woven through all of us loving her.
Tonight the dance celebration begins at a beautiful site near Ubud. And so i must prepare. Thank you all so much for all the love and support and reverence. we all feel you over here and I know Heidi is tuned in as well. A sense of peace settles in our hearts, and while the story is still infolding, a very turbulent chapter is finding resolution. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
love,
jess

posted in Heidi Love - 12 replies

she lives in all......

2008-02-26T16:07:52Z

Beautiful pixie sister I see you in all and know you in love.....
thank you for all you've given us in your living and in your passing....

Do not stand at my grave and weep, 
I am not there, I do not sleep. 
 I am a thousand winds that blow.
 I am the diamond glint on snow.
 I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
 I am the gentle autumn rain. 
 When you wake in the morning hush,
 I am the swift, uplifting rush  Of quiet birds in circling flight.
 I am the soft starlight at night. 
 Do not stand at my grave and weep. 
I am not there, I do not sleep.
 Do not stand at my grave and cry. 
I am not there, I did not die!
~mary Frye

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

thank you miss pixie for such a divine reflection...

2008-02-24T22:59:16Z

In your light I learn how to love.

In your beauty, how to make poems.

You dance inside my chest,

where no one sees you,

but sometimes I do,

and that sight becomes this art.

~Rumi

just a handful of days ago...brushing by each other...it felt like it was not quite enuff...but all we needed at the same time...

i wrote:

hey there love bucket...
yup...mos'def a whirlwinded moment...wish we coulda grounded for at least a minute...but really...it was good to just squeeze you and feel the knowing...that everything is aligned and buddahfull...
it will come...love is infinite and is not governed by time or space...i feel you.

. gratitude.

love to you...
bliss*sings, jstar

she wrote:

yo maha mamma
Yes aggreed.........all is in perfect place....just wanted you to hear my heart speak and grateful that you felt it with one squeeze...............it is one hell of a buddafull story......so blessed we are to be a part in this dance.

May these coming months have you dropping into full embodiment of the goddess and all her ease, graces and flows.....

love.in.you
Heidi xxx

thank you miss pixie for your divine reflection...
for your truths...made apparent in the grace in which you lived...
my heart is open...wide...
feeling you in the intricate weave of memory and moments i cloak myself in today...
deepest gratitude...
so thankful to have walked with you in this story...
petals unfurling...
still...our

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

blessed be divine heidi*

2008-02-24T10:10:45Z

i met heidi once.

she came to my house for a weekend kundalini dance intensive, held by sistar* leyolah. tina was here, amongst other divine goddess', & we celebrated the healing of pure heart, united within our individuality

heidi was pure self in all moments. what a delight!

honor to you, who were graced to know her well; intimately. such a gift to our humanness, her free presence on this planet

since her release from the physical, i have been on this journey with you all

i too, have been blessed by meeting with her essence, recently

& i concur - she is released in a profound way

i too see that she is of the dakini lineage, & that she has already ascended to alignement with her true self. i believe she is liberated, free from the cycle of reincarnation

i feel that she is going to be close with the tribe, & all beings, in the coming times

shakti light from spirit heidi; dakini awaked divine

expression of self i&i

thankyou all. without having met many of you, i am touched & inspired by you in ways you may not yet see

you are a tribe of pure spirit, sacred essence, & as such, your sistar* heidi is one who holds the miracle essence of isness, guiding all to a greater awakening self

deep peace,

kiara*

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

we shared

2008-02-24T05:44:00Z

I met this Angel within the last month of her amazing life. I am grateful that She flew to me, and that I flew to Her.

May we meet again blessed one. Thank you for your gift of love and the inspiration you left for us all here on Earth.

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

the craft of letting go: gratitude for skilled artisanship

2008-02-23T03:00:43Z

thank you, dear family, for holding such thoughtfully crafted circles of remembrance and deliverance.
far away as i feel, i also feel my heart nestled alongside yours and moving through infinity with hers
so beautifully we touch divinity through tragedy.
it is an inspiration to watch us grow stronger and softer with each reminder of mortality...

may we continue to sift through what confusion, anger, or sorrow may arise by drawing on each other's wisdom, grace, faith and love.
we are so wealthy in these ways.

with love ever expanding,

L

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

please send big prayers now for heidi's cremation ceremony!

2008-02-22T12:29:48Z

This is a request for you all who are tuning in to send some major prayers and do some potent visualizations. The creamtion ceremony is starting tomorrow around 7am and we just got word today that the hindu priest who was going to perform the ceremony cannot do it since Heidi is not Hindu. That means we are pulling together our own cremation ceremony that we will be performing ourselves. As well, the location that we thought was secured for the cremation has now been pulled form beneath us as 2 of the 5 local banjars have not agreed to allow it to happen there. so we are scrambling to make this all happen with ease, grace, and flow. Please send your prayers this way so that this may be the most beautiful send off piossible...beyond what we could imagine.
thank you,
jessica

posted in Heidi Love - 2 replies

tuning in from London with love

2008-02-21T23:59:25Z

connecting now with the global pixie family, sending strength and love to everyone and blessings for the release of the beautiful spirit of heidi for her onward journey into the freedom of light XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Leona

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

TONIGHT THURSDAY FEB 21st at Satya Yuga HEIDI CIRCLE + Bali Invite

2008-02-21T20:12:30Z

Thank you for joining us to circle for Heidi tonight Thursday Feb 21st at 9pm at Satya Yuga - 2400 Magnolia Street in West Oakland.
Derick and Micah welcome all to bring alter items, and prayers, song and sentiment to share, as we write our wishes of release to burn in a ritual fire at the water's edge. We will carpool to the Ocean side at 11:11 to coordinate with the Bali Cremation Ceremony. There we set these thoughts free to meet Heidi's spirit aloft on the Southern Seas.
Come in your finest finery to honor our pixie sister in song and dance and grace and guidance.
Below is the information from Natalia of the ceremony in Bali:

Beloveds...
just wanted to call you all in to be apart of tomorrows ceremony for our dear siStar Heidi here in Bali...
We are starting at sunrise with a ceremony where a local priest will go to Heidi's home to collect her spirit there to reunite it with her body...we will then come together to preform a cremation ceremony presided over by us.... we will then all come together again at 5pm (Bali time) for a more sharing memorial to celebrate all that was Pixie...It is at this point at 6:15pm (Bali Time - please tune in to your approprite local time) that we are calling you all into to link up with the entire Pixie Global Family to share 5minutes of silence in honour , love & gratitude of our beautyfull Heidi & to release her spirit & send her to connect with Source in Ease, Grace & Flow. We have orchestrated full rituals with Balinese, egyptian, hindu, and australian traditions.
We are having a memorial gathering that nite. And then a full on outdoor party to send her off with a bang on saturday nite. Bali is 15 hours ahead of california time.
You are all so much with us. Your prayers are needed in the crystal grid matrix.
In Deepest Love, Natalia

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

Bay Area Cremation Gathering

2008-02-21T06:56:50Z

Blessings Sweet Family,

I haven't heard of a gathering place suggested yet. Some of us were talking about going to the woods or some place in nature. Perhaps we could meet at Satya Yuga around 1pm and go out to the woods together, or we could gather there at 3pm in order to be present at 4pm, which corrusponds to 7am in Bali.

I'll call Micha Ma in the morning to see what her flow is. Please do comment here with ideas and I'm sure that something beautiful will come together.

It's been such a great honor and so helpful in my personal process of grieving to have participated in the two circles that have happened here in the bay. It's been beautiful to see the love and caring that this event has inspired in all of us.

Our prayers and light bodies will be with you all there in Bali as Heidi's body alchemizes, as we are always together in heart'space.

Deep Love,

Robin Goodfelllow

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

gathering for heidi in sydney

2008-02-21T05:13:29Z

To all dear friend and family of Heidi and Tina,

If you are in Sydney, a few of us are going to meet on Friday (tmrw) at 5pm Sharp at the southern end of the north Bondi Golf club Cliffs, near the rock face, for a ceremony to send prayers for Heidi's cremation and journey into the light.
We hope as many of us that are here could gather to share this moment, as I'm sure being far away makes it harder for all of us.

Please bring something to put on the alter (photos of Heidi, anything that is special to you), your prayers for Heidi written down to be burned and scattered into the ocean and if someone has something to burn things in, a cauldron or something, that would be great.

Please pass this on to anyone you know who is in Sydney who might want to be part of it, and if you need more information you can call me, Nadine 0402 521 837 or Sass 0415 538 036.

Hope we can all gather to share this special moment together.

X Nadine

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

australia family

2008-02-20T03:07:50Z

i just wanted to send blessings and gratitude from australia to all the bali heidi family who are so wondrously working up her sacred passing ceremonies. we will be timing in, thanks jessica for letting us know times, and beaming out love and light to heidi from here.
may she return to the light.
that fabulous pixie...
love rosiex

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

Correction on time of Heidi's cremation ceremony

2008-02-20T02:57:04Z

This is an update of the time at which Heidi's cremation ceremony will take place. The opening procession will begin at sunrise in bali (6-ish) and the ceremony will continue through about 1 or 2 in the afternoon so if you want to link up and hold space, figure out the time difference from bali to where you are and plan accordingly. We will extend our consciousness to include all who are not physically present during this cremation ceremony. Thank you all for tuning in.
much love and gratitude,
Jessica

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

heidi's cremation ceremony this friday in bali (that means thursday in the USA)

2008-02-20T02:51:38Z

i just want to let you all know that Heidi's cremation ceremony will be held this friday so if you feel to figure out the time difference between where you are and bali then you can tune in on this special day where we get to send Heidi off with so much love and so many blessings. I don't know the exact time of the ceremony but I can guess it will start around noon and the cremation is at least a half day process. We will be writing prayers and blessings and messages on pieces of paper and putting them in the casket with her. As a thought...you can all participate in this by writing down your own prayers and blessings on pieces of paper and then burning them in a pot or cauldron. then take the ashes and either release them directly into a natural body of water, or if you are not near a natural body of water you can put the ashes in another bowl of water...then take that bowl of water and pour the ash/water onto the earth. in this way your messages will reach her....if you can, try to coordinate with the time difference between bali and where you are and do this process at the same time that she is cremated or soon after. I believe she will receive all our messages and prayers of love and they will support her on her journey. thank you. feeling you all over here in bali. much love, jessica

posted in Heidi Love - 2 replies

reaching out from bali to our family of light

2008-02-19T23:57:58Z

jessica here...reaching out from bali to all you who are holding space for heidi and all of us going thru it over here. the words are hard to find, but i wanted to try to express something...not exactly sure what. it has been so full on over here. we are blessed to have a strong community to pray with. we have been gathering daily, building altars, sharing food, singing, praying, and also dealing with all the stuff that comes along with this situation. all your prayers and words of love help immensely. mostly people are so deep in it that it is difficult for anyone to find the time or energy to get to emailing anyone. but when we can, we are at least checking email and gathering strenghth from all the love from everyone around the globe who are praying right now. i am so relieved to hear that altars are being built and gatherings being held in the Bay areaand beyond. i draw strength from that knowing. so thank you to all who are holding down a thread of light in this tapestry.
i want to ask you all to help heidi along on this turbulent journey by taking time to meditate each day and visualize heidi in all her radiance before you....speak her name lovingly out loud and remind her to keep moving toward the light, to pay no attention to any distractions that may be confusing her....just keep reminding her to move toward the light. it is important to speak her name out loud with love in your hearts. i realize you may already be doing this but i felt compelled to say it anyway.
Also, i want to say that there is still so much we don't know about this crime and the papers and news are filling in the blanks and speculating so much so please don't take what you read as the facts or the truth. i remind you as much as i remind myself to do your best to remain in the love vibration and try to avoid dwelling in those darker places that the mind wanders to. it is a challenge we are all working with. i just know that reliving the trauma does not serve Heidi, but holding her in our hearts and helping her along to move on from this plane does help.
When i think of Heidi, i hear her laughter and and see her bright smile and i can hear her saying "Love, Love, love." And so i try to remember to embody this. I carry her essence in my heart, and my light shines more brightly. In honor of heidi, Shine your light as bright as you can right now. thank you for all the love you carry. we are so grateful for such a beautiful family of light. feeling your love so much.
deep gratitude,
Jessica

posted in Heidi Love - 5 replies

always in our hearts- healing

2008-02-19T06:58:55Z

HI loves,
We had a circle here in sf last nite for Heidi at the apartment on haight st. Jus wanting to share it with you all. We created a huge altar for Heidi with feathers, furs, bones, bits n bobs. So much beauty was created and so much sorrow and inspiration shared. It was so crucial for us to mourn together as a family here. To do ceremony around releasing and letting go. It was so healing for us. We did tibetan buddist rituals, shared stories, said prayers, sang songs, played didge, read from the keys of Enoch. Fully invoking the Goddess Hathor to assist Heidi in her passage. Some of the Auzzie crew and represented full force. We envisioned Hiedi as this radiant bird Goddess of light. Our own emissary of Love. Her being and life such an inspiration to us all. Eternal and everlasting. We sent so much protection and healing love to the family in bali. We created a web of light connecting us in the crystal grid matrix with the tribe in Bali, Goa, west coast, Canada, and Australia. Feeling us aligned in this sorrow and love.

Afterwards, I was meditating alone at the altar with heidi's pix and I got this download out of nowhere to go to bali for the cremation and celebrations. So now I'm jumping through hoops to make it happen for one week. There is suddenly is a crew of us all coming lastminute.com. Heidi's favorite! It's like she's calling us there. We are coming to support the family there and have us be together to pray and assist Heidi in her journey home. Bringing the spirit of all the tribe that wishes they could be there. To bring more love and prayers full power.
I'm picking up Nani and meadow at the airport from Peru tonite and they are flying to bali tomorrow. Gina, Carlita, and Joe, michael Kang are also going. I'm flying with Amae and Elijah from LA. Parshanti is trying to work it out. Zorian too. We all meet up in Taipia. Callling in the angels for a graceful journey there for our family to come together. I feel like I'm jumping off a cliff and my community is catching me. Scary. Initiation of Trust. Feels like a quickening in the blood.

Yeay Yeay Yeay family! I can't wait to embrace you all and be in your presence.
Thats the biggest lesson I've gotten from all this, to be more present with my loved ones when we have the blessing to be together, to love with more abandon and lightness, with the joy of a pixie.

In devotion to the Open heart, Natalia

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

A gift from Geno Cochino......for those who may not of gotten his blog....

2008-02-19T02:02:01Z

My heart has been broken by loosing such an amazing person and friend.... Wishing I could be there with the fam in bali, yet knowing my place is here at home right now. I send along this mix to you all in honor and memory of Heidi, one of the sweetest people i've ever known.
Its very much not perfect as I was a mess while recording it, yet I feel it important to share with all of you here. Most of these tracks are very precious to me just as she was, and was to many of you.... enjoy.
What I hope most is that everyone is brought closer by this and that we are able to look beyond the tragedy of the situation and take from it some sort of lesson. How to love, how to treat people, and really how to live free,,,These are some of the lessons you taught me in the short time I knew you Heidi, you will be missed indeed.
I love you

www.waxdj.com/djs/4276/

PS>>> You may have to turn the bass down a couple notches on your stereo as this was recorded with the bass far too loud.

Mon, February 18, 2008 - 4:26 PM - permalink - 2 Comments

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

Request form Heidi's cousin

2008-02-18T20:40:56Z

Dear Family,
Thankyou all for your hundreds of emails of love & support. Unfortunately I am unable to respond to everyone individually in these moments, i hope you understand.
We are compiling a collection of photographs of Heidi & i would so greatly appreciate if you could all send me whatever you have. We also may need some good quality high resolution shots for the ceremonies.Please send me all that you have.
My email address is shanti888@hotmail.com.
Thanking you so much.
In deepest Love
Tina xxxxxxooooo

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

From Pema...Safe Passage for Heidi

2008-02-17T09:32:17Z

blessed loved ones.....

here in bali we have been gathering everyday to share abundant meals and hold ritual. we have built alters in honor of heidi and have candles continually burning for her.
everyone here is safe and we have allot of love and support here as we journey through this passageway of pain and transformation together as a collective.
her death has really brought us together and that was always her highest wish.
we are feeling all of you so much linked in the collective prayer field. thank you so much. i am truely grateful to have you all in my life and am so blessed to bring the new life inside of me into this tribe, i know you all will be such amazing god parents to our child.
tears fall from my eyes as i visualize all of you beautiful faces, your reflection means everything to me.

in this time of transition it it very important to stay in beautiful space of prayer to help heidi's spirit ascend....

in the tibetan tradition they believe there is a time period of 49 days after death before the spirit moves on. it consists of 7 cycles of 7 days, each day is a different bardo they must pass through. at the end of each 7 day cycle the spirit has a chance to ascend, if it does not it will repeat the the cycle every 7 days until the 7th cycle where if accession is not attained they will be re-born in whatever incarnation there karma allows.
for the entire 49 days some one will read to them every day from the Tibetan book of the dead to help them move on........

an offering to all.......
sit in meditation and visualize heidi in her purest form
after a few minutes read the writing below preferably out loud
do this everyday for 49 days especially on each 7th day
if you don't fully resonate with the writing you can do it in your own way but remember to do it everyday

honored to join in prayer with you all
x pema

Tibetan Book of the Dead----translation W.Y. Evans-Wentz

. Remember the clear light, the pure clear white light from which everything in the universe comes, to which everything in the universe returns, the original nature of your own mind. The natural state of the universe unmanifest.

Let go into the clear light, trust it, merge with it. It is your own true nature, it is home,

The visions you experience exist within your consciousness, the forms they take are determined by your past attachments, your past desires, your past fears, your past karma.

These visions have no reality outside your consciousness. No matter how frightening some of them may seem they cannot hurt you. Just let them pass through your consciousness. They will all pass in time. No need to become involved with them, no need to become attracted to the beautiful visions, no need to be repulsed by the frightening ones. No need to be seduced or excited by this sexual ones. No need to be attached to them at all.

Just let them pass. If you become involved with these visions, you may wonder for long time confused. Just let them past to your consciousness like clouds passing through an empty sky.

Fundamentally they have no more reality than this.

Remember these teachings, remember the clear light, the pure bright shining white light of your own nature, it is death less.

If you can look into the visions you can experience and recognize that they are composed of the same pure clear white light has everything else in the universe.

No matter where or how far you wonder, the light is only a split second, a half-breath breath away. It is never too late to recognize the clear light.

p.s. tomorrow ( saturday the 16th) is the 7th day since her passing and today is the first day of the three day tibetan new year and according to mahayana buddism the 8th and the 15th of feb (today) is the day they celebrate as the buddah's day of death......wow

Posted by: pema

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

The ultimate love

2008-02-17T01:50:48Z

Among Heidi's greatest gifts to me has been in her passing. To be able to reflect so deeply and intensely on the beautiful community that I have become apart. Never have I witnessed souls so deep, so humble and so true. Holding each other in perhaps the greatest lesson life has to teach, has been inspiring and humbling. Always walking roads alone, I feel so blessed to have been led into this amazing family. A family that holds so tight and reflects so clearly on the true beauty and essence of the lives among us. People who hold the divine and sacred of each one of us in such a clear and beautiful light, this is among the greatest blessing life could offer in a material world that has struggled to show me life is cheap.
Heidi, I trust your brilliant soul will return among us and work with us to raise ourselves and this world into the stunning freedom of the space you now travel. I offer my most humble and sincere gratitude to the greatest of sacrifices your spirit has made to all of us, and promise you these powerful lessons you have taught will live on in your legacy and rememberance.
From the deepest place. Thank you.

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

Hiedi circle in SF feb 17

2008-02-16T21:25:49Z

Hello beloveds,
Calling out to gather close friends in honor of our sista Hiedi tomorrow Sunday 17th 4 pm at our place in San francisco lower haight. She was living here with us the last couple months before she left for bali and it feels right to bring people together here for a small personal circle. Feeling the need for our community here in SF to come together right now to share stories and grieve together. It's been strange being so far away from the family in bali --trying to get info and to find out what we can over here. Gathering community to support one another in these intense times, feel the Goddess embracing us in her darkness. Feel the unification of our community in this loss and love. Invoking safe passage and peace for HIedi. The brilliant star that she is, an emissary of light for us, like a winged Goddess of laughter and light!
So bring anything you want to share, and altar item, a song, poem, picture, candle, story, something she liked, a feather. Yes, lets all bring a feather for our pixie love. Bring some food and we'll make a feast here after.
So much love to all our global family of light unified in Hiedi's love.
In devotion to the ONe heart, Natalia

Natalia, Adriana's and Arrowones:
4pm Sunday feb 17
758 Haight st apt. #3
Sf, 94117
between Scott & Pierce

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

Circle 2/22-3/2 in coordination with Bali and Oz

2008-02-15T04:01:38Z

Community - in Coordination with those in Bali and Australia we will circle for Heidi between Friday Feb 22nd and March 3rd, to be determined. We have just heard that the cremation will now be next friday feb 22nd in bali then the australian ceremony the following sunday march 2nd. So we have a little more time to gather her closest loved ones from up and down the coast. In the mean while, we can join in prayers and blessings for her soul's peaceful passing and release. If you feel the need to gather before that, let's be in touch. I imagine there will be people preparing to come together this Friday.
Love one another, heart light, Hilary

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

Legacy of Love

2008-02-15T00:05:09Z

On this day when so many choose to tap in to their connection with love...sometimes more than any other day of the year, I feel the presence of myriad energies. Love, pain, grief, confusion, rage, faith, trust. I am full. I feel surrounded by fierce love, and always challenged to live from a pure place to meet that reflection and expression. Present with the deep loss which our community is feeling, with the passing of our sister Heidi, I feel the presence of her legacy, emanating from my own heart and felt and reciprocated by our family tree. She was a great teacher, one who taught us to be full of love, and to be guided by the ever present rhythms of heart. In the last conversation I had with Heidi, one of the first things she said to me was "There are many ways to look at things, but really in the end there is only love." the last words we exchanged were "trust in love," and we ended the conversation repeating those words back and forth to each other. I offer unto the wind, gratitude to Heidi, for offering us a legacy of love that will live on within all of us eternally.

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

With love and honor, I've posted a page of pictures of Heidi.

2008-02-14T17:48:19Z

I am so wowed by the shine and sweetness that glows from each of her images. She is still so with us, know as an angel on all of our shoulders. It is too hard to believe that she was taken from this realm. But I have to find solace in the knowledge that she is at peace.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/84341854@N00/sets/72157603902656766/

Anyone ready to announce where and when there will be memorial for her. We hear Friday, tomorrow to coordinate with the one held in Bali and Australia. I could be at a park if there is not space being offered. I have saved the day, others have traveled in. We are such a blessed circle when we gather. I look forward to being in presence with you all.
In light and love, allHeart Hilary

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies

JAI KALI MA...........

2008-02-13T20:17:12Z

MAY THE BLOOD OF THE FOOL.....EVIL MAN OPPRESSOR....BLOOD RUN SWIFT.
......TO FILL THE RIVERS AND MUD THE EARTH ....... BLACKEN THE GYPSY FOOT.....
AND SPREAD THE SEED OF RIGHTEOUS RETRIBUTION.........
THAT ONE DAY WITH ONLY MORE LOVE ...... AND MORE DEATH.........WILL MATURE INTO THE TREE THAT THE SAGE WILL SHADE FROM SUN........ AND CHILD WILL CLIMB TO FALL ........ TO CLIMB YET AGAIN ........ AND SCRAPES AND SCARS WILL SING PRAYERS
FROM MOUTHS THAT HAVE NO TONGUE ........ AND THE REMEMBERANCE OF EYES
AND SMELL OF FLESH ARE THE ONLY TRUE PORTALS OF TRANSCENDANCE .....
............... GATHER GREAT HEIGHTS THIS OLD TREE BECKONS ...........
ONLY SO THAT YOU MAY BE CLOSER TO THE HEAVENS ......... JAI KALI MA.

posted in Heidi Love - 0 replies