i have been hospitalized twice, both times after these gigantic epic experiences that felt like extreme and abrupt awakenings. i was diagnosed with bi polar disorder, however, not schitzophrenia although both times i was monitored because they werent sure what i was "experiencing." both of my experiences in the hospital made me believe all the more in psychic ability and experience... a lot of what people were experiencing in there seemed to be at that level. my last hospitalization actually ended in july... so it was very recent....and here i am on medications again that i too feel have "cut me off" from the "higher planes" or from my abilities... same thing happened before. i strongly believe that the medication will inhibit me from awakening again. also i hate putting this crap in my body because i have no idea what it actually is or what it does. i was beginning to witness some phenomenal happenings to say the least....and for the second time all of it has been dismissed as simply "delusion" and a "disability" or "disease" of the mind and something that needs to be treated chemically because it isnt natural. it is really painful so i know what you must be going through atalanta. i pray that i will be back on my path again...it has felt like my life's work and why i am truly here in the flesh (why we are all here in the flesh?) anyway i feel very sympathetic..... we are not crazy, we are gifted. some of what i experienced i stretched out of proportion but who is to say that everyone else who has had extreme revelations were insane..? it really makes you question yourself too, which i can see you are doing in this posting... i have been questioning myself and the validity of my own experience even though i know what i have experienced and its symbolic meaning to me, and that should be enough validation.

anyway so much love to you and so many blessings during this time of healing... if you ever want to talk i would like that, my loved ones dont quite understand....

namaste