I am thinking alot.
Triggered by a couple of conversations I have had of late.
About failure.
Failure.
Truly the 'f' word -
and it occurs to me, that i have created, for myself and my children, a world without failure; a world where failure is not an option, a world where the word 'failure' just does not exist.
Its an awful word, and i know that i visibly flinch when someone directs it at me.
To imply to yourself or to another that their best efforts have not been good enough- to label someone failure, is to risk scarring another soul for life.
In my life, with my children, there have been times, occasions when attempts at new projects, directions etc have been less than successful.
Is less than successful failure ?
No, no its not.
I ask you to think very carefully before you use the word failure with yourself, your kids or anyone else. Nothing is truly a failure when you look it the big picture. Everything teaches us something, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant. In terms of life lessons and soul progression, it is impossible to have anything other than success because everything will teach you something, even if that something is that you should have done it the other way.
To 'fail' means that there is no longer hope, and in this world, hope is the one thing we are always sure of having.
Many of my friends comment on my children and the apparent ease with which they live their lives. I have been told on many occasions that my children are blessed and in a lot of ways i agree however, they are also two kids who have bought up knowing that their best IS good enough and that if something doesn't work out just the way you wanted it too, it just meant that for now, that something, wasn't meant to happen.
How could anyone brand a child a failure? To do so , is truly child abuse. To brand yourself a failure is soul abuse, beside being very sad.
We have been gifted with free will and with free will, we will always have choice. Choice is part of the gift.
With choice you will always have options but contrary to popular thought, these options are not 'the right way' and 'the wrong way'- they are merely 'one way' or 'another way'.
You can never FAIL by trying- anything you try, you will never fail.
Never.
It may not work out perfect, but it will teach you something for sure.
As humans, we all have our triggers.............that is, we all have those things that make us react rather than act.
I know i do- i can not stand to see an adult yell abuse at a child, i do not use the word failure , i hate seeing spirituality being used as a tool for cruel people:- when someone tells you that 'your energy' is not right for them or their group, they are no better than a school yard bully, in many cases they are worse, because instead of coming out and just saying 'i don't like you' they turn it around and make it your fault that they find you unacceptable..........
hhhmmmmmmmm
One of Joshua's teachers told me once that he was so confident, so sure of himself and his actions, that he stood out amongst other kids his age. I remember telling her that it was because he knew, that basically, he could do no wrong- and i don't mean that to sound egotistical, merely just fact, he, like his sister knew, that no matter what they did, one way or another they would learn something from it.
That was something that was missing with a lot of the kids the same age as my kids- self confidence bought about by fear of failure.
If you take away the failure, a child has nothing to fear.
Words have such power, such longevity.
Please use them wisely.
I am off to make piklets for my witches.
I am housebound, carless, mobilephone less too ( bloody thing !- not a failure just very much less than perfect).
I have a ruptured abcess- yes, another one !!
and a pimple
yet i am talking with my Goddess
and She tells me, that i am all right.
I may not be me or her or she, but I am Lisa, and that is good enough.
Be nice to your children- they are your mirror.
Lisa x
www.raihndrops.blogspot.com
the Blue Star Children Book-now avaialble !!
www.aspectsofshe.weebly.com
Triggered by a couple of conversations I have had of late.
About failure.
Failure.
Truly the 'f' word -
and it occurs to me, that i have created, for myself and my children, a world without failure; a world where failure is not an option, a world where the word 'failure' just does not exist.
Its an awful word, and i know that i visibly flinch when someone directs it at me.
To imply to yourself or to another that their best efforts have not been good enough- to label someone failure, is to risk scarring another soul for life.
In my life, with my children, there have been times, occasions when attempts at new projects, directions etc have been less than successful.
Is less than successful failure ?
No, no its not.
I ask you to think very carefully before you use the word failure with yourself, your kids or anyone else. Nothing is truly a failure when you look it the big picture. Everything teaches us something, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant. In terms of life lessons and soul progression, it is impossible to have anything other than success because everything will teach you something, even if that something is that you should have done it the other way.
To 'fail' means that there is no longer hope, and in this world, hope is the one thing we are always sure of having.
Many of my friends comment on my children and the apparent ease with which they live their lives. I have been told on many occasions that my children are blessed and in a lot of ways i agree however, they are also two kids who have bought up knowing that their best IS good enough and that if something doesn't work out just the way you wanted it too, it just meant that for now, that something, wasn't meant to happen.
How could anyone brand a child a failure? To do so , is truly child abuse. To brand yourself a failure is soul abuse, beside being very sad.
We have been gifted with free will and with free will, we will always have choice. Choice is part of the gift.
With choice you will always have options but contrary to popular thought, these options are not 'the right way' and 'the wrong way'- they are merely 'one way' or 'another way'.
You can never FAIL by trying- anything you try, you will never fail.
Never.
It may not work out perfect, but it will teach you something for sure.
As humans, we all have our triggers.............that is, we all have those things that make us react rather than act.
I know i do- i can not stand to see an adult yell abuse at a child, i do not use the word failure , i hate seeing spirituality being used as a tool for cruel people:- when someone tells you that 'your energy' is not right for them or their group, they are no better than a school yard bully, in many cases they are worse, because instead of coming out and just saying 'i don't like you' they turn it around and make it your fault that they find you unacceptable..........
hhhmmmmmmmm
One of Joshua's teachers told me once that he was so confident, so sure of himself and his actions, that he stood out amongst other kids his age. I remember telling her that it was because he knew, that basically, he could do no wrong- and i don't mean that to sound egotistical, merely just fact, he, like his sister knew, that no matter what they did, one way or another they would learn something from it.
That was something that was missing with a lot of the kids the same age as my kids- self confidence bought about by fear of failure.
If you take away the failure, a child has nothing to fear.
Words have such power, such longevity.
Please use them wisely.
I am off to make piklets for my witches.
I am housebound, carless, mobilephone less too ( bloody thing !- not a failure just very much less than perfect).
I have a ruptured abcess- yes, another one !!
and a pimple
yet i am talking with my Goddess
and She tells me, that i am all right.
I may not be me or her or she, but I am Lisa, and that is good enough.
Be nice to your children- they are your mirror.
Lisa x
www.raihndrops.blogspot.com
the Blue Star Children Book-now avaialble !!
www.aspectsofshe.weebly.com
posted by:
|
-
Re: Failure
Sat, September 1, 2007 - 2:08 PMyou make a huge point about words, and how we use them, so often unconsciously, or without considering thier impact.
i have become extremely mindful of the words that i use. failure is one, i agree, that i rarely if ever use.
problems i think of as challenges.
pain in the ass people i have come to see as teachers.
wrong is, quite possibly, just another way of doing things.
crazy is a compliment.
and love, love has grown into such an all encompassing word that i use it all of the time, to express a recognition of your validity...
and i really like namaste... because regardles of whether we agree or disagree, the divinity in my recognizes and honors the divinity in you...
-
Re: Failure
Sat, September 1, 2007 - 2:54 PMFailure doesn't bother me. I know more about failure than I do about success. Overall it's not a bad word. But I would agree, not so great to attribute to a person. But to say I have failed means that I need to examine myself and figure out how I may have missed the mark. Failure means there's room for growth. Nothing more. Nothing less. It's all in what you choose to do with it. Failure's not the problem. Pressure to get it right, or, worse yet, perfect, is the problem. Societal expectations that are imposed on us by family and friends are the problem. And kicking ourselves is the problem. I don't practice failure. I practice how to lead a better life.
-
Re: Failure
Tue, September 4, 2007 - 5:02 AMI think it is better to say, "I succeeded in trying and achieved this much" rather than to say "I tried and failed miserably" and if you did not achieve any of your goal, then you say, "I tried and learned 'this' from trying". Attitude is important. I myself have learned 3 VERY important things in my lifetime which I remind myself of regularly. They are this:
1. You don't have to say everything you're thinking.
2. Always try and think about what you will say before you say it.
and
3. Always try to be kind.
Hugs,
~D -
-
Re: Failure
Tue, September 4, 2007 - 6:57 AMI don't know if that is directed at me, but I don't think in terms of failing miserably. At least not any more. I think in terms of what can I learn? Some lessons are very difficult. And some take many, many, years before they sink in.
The person who inspires me the most is our older daughter. She is severely handicapped. The majority of school professionals have considered her a failure or that she will not amount to much. Ever since birth, I have watched her try and try again. Slowly but surely, her brain is making the connections she lost either at birth or right before birth. She also has the good fortune of having had wonderful therapists (for want of a better term) who have helped, nourished and guided her over the years. Failure is not part of her vocalulary. She is always trying to figure out how to move or manipulate. She is determined to succeed and does so with great good humor. She is probably the hardest working person I know. She is always trying to figure out what most of us take for granted, and that is how to sit and grasp things with ease. Whenever I feel like giving up, I look at what she's doing and that's my reminder to stop feeling sorry for myself and figure out the next step. -
-
Unsu...
Re: Failure - do we fail?
Wed, September 12, 2007 - 4:27 PMStorm fights and raindrops drifts
years of hot summer days
dancing rain hit my lake
the morning charms with cooling meadows
calling for action
laughing and smiling dance meditation
free mind - still heart - sitting and sending
always arriving - always observing
always listening to the song of the light
given this sweet blessing
giving light - receiving the universe
she does not forget what happened
nor forgets the lives before�
in the Himalayas
gigantic heart of light
potentials were given
later... taken
forgiven but not forgotten
those promises to practice deeply
yesterday, here and now
right here in the seed
of the life we live now
at lake union
we start fresh - no failure here
now and whenever we can
clouds glide between time and infinity
practice spirit love
-
-
-
Re: Failure
Tue, September 18, 2007 - 1:11 AMThanks for your words Dano.
It has been very good for me to catch this topic as I am
finding off a tendency to feel like a failure over a dog
I have had in my care, this dog urinates & defacates in the house (his 3rd home)
& yet has lots of outdoor access. Tonight I have decided I can no longer keep him
and am trying to find adequate lodgings for him until his owner (my husband's daughter)
comes for him in Dec. I have tried my best and must acknowledge myself for trying
this long (10 months) My rugs are so full of stains, I have to have them cleaned professionally.
I have given love and proper care, the intentions were good.....it still hurts though, as I am
an animal lover, why doesn't this dog respect this home? He has it made here, but he has not been spoiled.
I guess I can see why he has gone through 3 homes now, who wants that in their house?
Labelling myself a failure, is not fair to me.
Having said that, I still feel as though I have failed somehow.......
-
-
Re: Fighting off the tendency to feel like a failure
Tue, September 18, 2007 - 9:19 AMSorry I meant "fighting" (another "F" word)
off a tendency to feel a failure...
I completely understand if no one replies, I did
feel a little better just being able to
write it down, get it out, as it were,
thanks to the host of having this tribe
here for the wounded healers.....
-
Re: Failure
Wed, September 26, 2007 - 12:02 PMPerhaps he misses your husband's daughter? Perhaps the dog is mad at HER and taking this frustration out the only way he knows how. It's not fair to either you or the dog for this young woman to be absent for so long. Is there any trainer you can send him to?
-
