wow bev, im sorry to hear about your dad. he must have a really strong soul to be on such a challenging path.
i feel the stress. sounds like youre prety wouldn up, undertandably so.
when i get that would up its often hard for me to see the forest for the trees, so i go to someone i love and trust and ask for help. often sommeone i trust can lead me back to center when i cant find the way myself... find someone to talk with you for a while, if not your b/f then someone else.
we all get lost once in a while, its no sin. the biggest mistake can be in not asking for help when we need it...
you you in my prayers...

Here's a (((hug))) my dear!
I think you need to get another doctor, one who cares about YOU!
You should seek guidance in your "Sorce" and meditate for an answer.
Consoling in a trusted friend or counseling professional would be in good order as well.
Breathing is important and try to take care of the things that are under your controll and let things that are not work themselves out, if they will. If they wont, then you can't do anything about it anyway.
This cannot last forever, and I will send positive/healing energy your way.
Good Luck.