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Boy meets Girl and Projection

topic posted Tue, June 17, 2008 - 4:42 AM by  William 		Share/Save/Bookmark
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Whats the best way to integrate anima projection?

Classic story, boy sees girl instant attraction - love at first site cliché, meets girl they hit it off. Massive amounts of infatuation ensues, girl gets a more healthy realistic appraisal of relationship as time passes whilst boy continues idealize relationship. Boy starts to realize whats going on but ducks head in sand/tries to work it out in relationship. Events enfold in which 'reality' smacks boy in face, boy realizes treading water in personal progress comes to a difficult decision. Ends relationship, boy feels part of him has died - intense traumatic experience. Boy sees potential for learning in suffering whilst later comes across Jung and recognizes its potential as a tool for personal growth.

And here I am. Progress is not as fast as one would hope, but any advice is much appreciated. Or even better, any material which you could point me too would be greatly received.

Cheers

Billy
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William
offline William
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  • sherpa
    sherpa
    offline 321

    Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

    Wed, June 18, 2008 - 3:57 PM
    don't know if there is a "best" way but what i do know is this. the anima represents an autonomous complex with a life of its own and as such, first deserves the respect one might afford a live animal (maybe predator) while walking through the dark woods of its territory. The anima belongs to no one but comes and goes as she pleases.

    the second thing i know is that she responds to being related with. the male ego must somehow develop an ongoing interaction or rapport with the imaginal domain of her realm. this relating requires imagination, not reason; intuition, not thinking.

    in primitivist, or animistic, contexts, the process of "integrating" anima involves a kind of soul retrieval ritual process which can be anything from writing a poem to her and mailing it to yourself to singing your heart out as a calling, a call, to her. i have written more on this kind of ritual at:

    users.bestweb.net/~kali93/o.../anima.htm
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  • kalsang
    kalsang
    offline 31

    Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

    Mon, June 30, 2008 - 9:24 PM
    Oh and BTW, why did the boy end the relationship? Couldn't he have sat in the fire with a woman that loved him (if indeed she did) and worked through it and allowed it to evolve to the point where he could see her and love the reality rather than the projection?
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    • Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

      Mon, June 15, 2009 - 4:16 PM
      And of course some people welcome being projected upon so to speak. They are in search of a mate that might give them more definition of what they are or what they might become. No one is a finished work and everyone depends to some extent on relationship to sculpt them, so loving someone for what they are can't be the whole equation. We also sometimes see potentials in people that we love as well.
      Love at first sight is not always a shallow projection either. There can be a quantum tug between people that is suprapsychological.
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      • Dan
        Dan
        offline 65

        Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

        Wed, July 1, 2009 - 7:10 PM
        "And of course some people welcome being projected upon so to speak."

        Which is true when "girl" accepts the projection from "boy." It's not simply that boy projects and girl receives as if an unfiltered being. Her sense of self and inflation and excitement and love and lust and joy are intertwined with the projection. And she, in turn, can feed the projection and project herself and then then boy/girl has quite a little thing to work on! If the both accept that they project then they can honor and embrace and work with it consciously.

        But who wants to do that?
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        • Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

          Thu, July 2, 2009 - 6:27 AM
          Kids are losing their taste for this stuff, I've noticed. They seem to be better educated and more self aware. Their projections are more realistic these days.
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          • Dan
            Dan
            offline 65

            Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

            Thu, July 2, 2009 - 7:34 PM
            Projections are more realistic....but they're still projections because they come from the same human animal that we've always been. If anything, the projections are more refined, which makes them more difficult to be aware of and WAY MORE INTERESTING in terms of how neurotic and crazy it makes people.
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            • Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

              Thu, July 2, 2009 - 8:21 PM
              "Psychological projection (or projection bias) is when a person's personal attributes, thoughts, and/or emotions are ascribed onto another person or people. A modern view of projections is that they are prerequisites for normal social functioning. A person who is incapable of ascribing his/hers own feelings on other people would have great difficulties in understanding them. This may happen in Aspergers Syndrome."


              en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psyc...projection
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              • Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

                Fri, July 3, 2009 - 2:32 AM
                < A modern view of projections is that they are prerequisites for normal social functioning. A person who is incapable of ascribing his/hers own feelings on other people would have great difficulties in understanding them. This may happen in Aspergers Syndrome." >

                This makes no sense to me at all. Ascribing my feelings to another has always landed me in misunderstandings and chaos. I have found that what I feel is seldom what another person is feeling. And when I feel what they feel, often I encounter the dichotomy there and wind up in a nearly impossible battle to make sense to them that I can understand and still not agree. No. And wine and roses have no sway for me. Either there is a clear reckoning of who another person actually is or else it is illusion, and I am through with illusions on both sides.

                Meet me in my mind or don't bother meeting me at all.
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            • heather
              heather
              offline 46

              Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

              Fri, July 3, 2009 - 10:40 AM
              there's a big difference between archetypal projection of anima and animii and simple chemical and hormonal entrainment.

              The folks that bounce from one liason to another appear to have bits and pieces of anima or animii, as if those huge forces have been torn apart by all the distraction. Or perhaps they are leaving those shallow ones to their own devices and their shadows still remain.

              I can tell you with some surety that those men who have a strong sense of devotion to their marriage and a strong participatory function within society also have an integrated and fulfilling relationship with the anima who has chosen them, She is content and pleased. She can even allow another feminine presence to act as muse or instigator, She is that secure.

              The archetypal forces do not make people neurotic and crazy, lack of committment to one's own Self and talents, family and service makes one cuckoo.
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              • Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

                Fri, July 3, 2009 - 10:59 AM
                So if I were in a bad marriage in, say, the Weimar Republic 1939 and found myself unable to be devoted to the marriage or to the fascist society in which i had to function I would be crazy? There are situations that are difficult to handle "maturely" sometimes or with promptness. Sometimes people are forced by circumstance to live for some periods of time as hypocrites.
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                • heather
                  heather
                  offline 46

                  Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

                  Fri, July 3, 2009 - 11:49 AM
                  I am speaking from experience, as a painter of archetypal portraits, a paratheatrical participant and as a clairvoyant, not conjecture. Nonetheless, conjecture can enhance compassion and imagination, if you really make an effort to go there.

                  when I use the word society, I don't mean the whole enchilada necessarily, that seems to be reserved for those in politics or the top of the entertainment pyramid, which is sometimes the same...I mean the circle you find yerself in, the circle you can create, the circle you are invited into. maybe those circles resemble circuses, in which case, maybe yer lucky and maybe you aint.

                  In the midst of hardship and toil (I've been with the same person for thirty years now, so can report from the gulag), finding comfort and even something to be grateful for can banish the crazies, especially when ya dig down deep and find yer own monstrousness. It makes pointing fingers and victimhood a bit harder to sustain.
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                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

                    Fri, July 3, 2009 - 12:18 PM
                    I have been married to the same person for 30 years with all the attendant ups and downs and near wrecks. It is impossible not to be ensorcelled by others and led away at least a few times. As middle age descends the siren song grows fainter which is a bittersweet change. There is,however, a reservoir of shared experience - as with war buddies. i guess in that sense projection falls away almost entirely. You have seen each other so thoroughly and with such rawness from every possible angle that it may be the most genuine relationship you will ever have even if not ideal.
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                    • heather
                      heather
                      offline 46

                      Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

                      Fri, July 3, 2009 - 2:01 PM
                      beautifully said.

                      oh, it used to hurt so bad when his anima would come screaming into me, I could feel the rip in the aura...the overtaking possession... we went to a marriage counselor, who dealt with his stonewalling silences even worse than me...and it made me so mad to be told that I, myself, the offended one, I had to stay calm and speak to him as if he were a child who simply needed to be told the boundaries in a firm voice....he certainly acted like a brat, my worst enemy, a boy with no connection to his own emotional states...and now, I am no longer so angry about his putdowns and his manipulations, I have given up hope and my ideals...and seemingly, my unreasonable expectations. and quess what? we have stepped out of hell.

                      sometimes it only takes one to truly do the tango?
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                      • Vick...
                        Vicky Jo
                        offline 10

                        Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

                        Fri, July 3, 2009 - 2:12 PM
                        Dr. Robert Johnson writes,
                        “Abandon hope, all ye who enter here” is a classical beginning to what Jung called the “individuation process,” or the spiritualization of a man. If I could rewrite that sign, it would say, “Give up all expectations and presently held concepts.”

                        -Vicky Jo :-)
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                        • Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

                          Fri, July 3, 2009 - 2:23 PM
                          As a Plutonian, it is clear to me that one's strength lies in one's vulnerabilities and in the courage to annihilate oneself in confronting and acknowledging them. It is one of the 12th House paradoxes. No enemy is more powerful than those that lie within oneself. Conquer them, and the others shrivel in dimension. When confronted with the anima, she needs to have the password to enter my abode. She and I have known one another a long time, so it has become easier to just the close the door on her when she causes her usual mischief. Doing that, I find she retreats and fades away, leaving the space open to reality, which is a far better place for relationship.
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  • Robert
    Robert
    offline 15

    Re: Boy meets Girl and Projection

    Fri, July 3, 2009 - 10:52 AM
    Try Neuro-Linguistic-Programming, and Design Human Engineering By Richard Bandler.
    He's not the end all, but he provides some tools you won't find elsewhere and they're very useful.
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