Sean, that's great insight. But what's weird to me is that for the most part i've been feeling fantastic. Like my old self again. Out of deep, dark deprression. So many people have commented on the difference in me. I have been stressed with moving and all and the Thomas stuff has been just very recently. But you are very right. .... It made me laugh that they assumed I was afraid of horses! I can't think of a time EVER that I've feared horses. The other odd thing is that these are therapy horses and are hand-picked and trained to be chill with all kinds of "tense" riders. So go figure. .... What rings totally true to me is that they have such strict protocol for handling the horses that I feel I'm always doing something "wrong." That's a sure-fire way for me to get uptight. "No, no. Do it this way.... NEVER walk behind a horse ..... stand 10' to the back left ...." Someone even told me how to hold a lead line -- a leash for horses. Good grief was that insulting.

Once I get this house sold, I'll feel a lot better. Today I tossed out the soggy remains of my last life. Kids toys, books, pictures, kid's art that I was saving. Heirloom photos. It started to rain and I just lost it. Sobbing is a great way to release stress. (so is sex, but that doesn't look like it's in the future for me for a lonnng time).

Funny story: I was cleaning out my bedroom and came to a box full of wacky sex toys that my last husband was really iinto. The mostly made me laugh. Some had several buttons for speed, twirling, etc. So I dumped the whole box into a trash bag. Sometime that night, something must have shifted in the bag because I was woken up by a loud BUZZZZZZZZZZZZing sound. WTF? Then I realized what it was and had to dig through the trash bag to turn the "Jack Hammer" thingy off. Made me laugh. The cats were curious.

xoxox