Hello everyone, yes I am back, much has happened in the few months I have not shared. My home is happy, all is well with my husband and daughter. Mom is moving back in May to her home town in Texas, it did not last a year, but I knew it would not. Healing took place for her, she learned to give in, and so did I. The arguments stopped, we both gave in to silence and to reasoning and to be able to talk without losing our temper. I know this was very hard for her, to refrain from letting out her anger and issues, but it made her look at herself and in turn I looked at myself, I learned patience and self control..I did not have to answere to my behavior or motivation or ask for permission to be myself any longer to her. She changed but it is still hard for her to realize her love for herself.

I am now at home, wondering what to do after she is gone...I am not inspired at all in working out in the outside world, my only inspiration is being at home with my family and finishing my book. I feel that I am not supposed to be working for anyone here. It seems to only become chaos and havoc....no harmony, no understanding...I am different from what is out there, but yet that does not surprize me for I went through this in grade school and with my mother....in other words this started very young in age...not being able to connect with the outside world, up front on a one to one basis. I do not have close friends here where I live, the friends that I have are here on tribe and the friends I had 30 yrs ago, and the love is soooo strong between me and these 4 other girls, it is sooo wonderful, nothing like staying friends with highschool girls from the 70's, pictures of us are in my pics...lol...

I have found out I have a serious condition in my lower 5 vertrabraes, due to a fall it made it worse, I am losing the ability to move my right leg, but I do go for walks in the morning, I have to, painful it is, but I do. With this fall I am getting outside help, the universe blessed me with help, if this fall had not happened I would not have known about this condition. I know I can heal myself. I know I can make this right.
with much graitutude to all of you, lakotawolf