Greetings fellow limerents. Its good to meet up with others who have some idea what i'm going through and can feel the incredible highs and lows that limerence produces. I have read all of the posts on this tribe and there are some amazing insightful sensitive caring loving people around who are having or have had real problems with these feelings and have not been able to put the cork back in the bottle either through being unwilling or unable.

For me I know my feelings of insatiable desire towards my LO are a powerful indication of lack of love and self-esteem but being aware of this doesn't stop me from thinking about her from when I wake until when I sleep and for much of the time inbetween as well as having some dreams about her. What makes this so much worse is the fact that I have been in a long-term relationship for 14 years and although I have had limerent episodes during this time, this recent one is so much worse because the LO has not just disappeared and has reciprocated to a large extent in fact she initiated the intimate contact to begin with but has told me she did this because she was vulnerable and didn't think properly about the situation. I find this very hard to swallow and it makes me feel used and bruised.

I do work with my LO but not in the same office and do not see her too often but what I would like is to have nothing to do with her at all and to eventually forget she ever existed. At the moment this is not possible although she is not happy in her job and hopefully may leave soon but in the meantime she still has an excuse to contact me but I intend to keep the subject on work and not give her the chance to discuss her home life and her interests as this causes me huge problems and makes me feel important in her life when I know I am not.

I could write at great length about what drew me to her, how intimate we got, whether she has been playing games and messing with my head, why I feel she is so symbolic and fundamental to my own identity, why some men and women enjoy using sexual power to create havoc in others' lives but what I really would like to know is what techniques people use to get over this intense longing and heartache they have for someone who they feel will make their life complete. I know all the arguments and theories and can rationalise the entire experience and laugh at it and realise that its just chemicals in my head creating a relentless pattern of never ending nostalgia, loss and regret. I want to get my LO completely out of my head forever - for her life to be as irrelevant/relevant to me as all the other people on this planet I have never met and have no knowledge of.

I guess that my tone hints at anger and anxiety as well as determination and I think I am angry at myself for allowing my thoughts and actions to get so out of control that someone else feels more important to me than me. We need to shout it out loud - I am as important and as loveable and as interesting and as special and as fulfilled as anyone else and I should never let another person feel that without them being in my life then it is not as worthy or as exciting as if they are in it. We limerents need to take our power back and realise that if it our feelings are not reciprocated in the way we want then we walk away with our heads held high and find those who can and will appreciate our love and affection for what it is - real and enduring.

I would be interested to know others thoughts on these matters and what you do to overcome the mental repetitive thinking which prevents us from moving on and concentrating on what is important in our own lives. I want to feel good about myself and not think that because someone else has and maybe still is dangling me on a string that I am worthless and undesirable.