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Soooo, theres a gentlemen at one of my jobs. He's an older guy (62) he'd been married for 39 years and his wife left him. awwww...I know, i felt bad for him as well. Another girl and I would go out to dinner with him, to help him from being lonely. since, he was commenting on how he's lonely and thinks he should commit suicide. We expressed that he shouldn't commit suicide and many people cared about him. His wife was important but not his whole life...hence going to dinner and then we watched him bowl since he's on a league. however, he's been getting really touchy. Not like hold my hand, pat my back but more like grabbing my sides, kissing my cheek ( not sure if it was meant to be my cheek, since i turned my head). i expressed to him that he's a good guy but friends is all it could be. I don't want to be mean to him but its getting to the point that Im getting really cranky. I hate it when he grabs my sides and makes some crude comment.
GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....i WAS TRYING TO BE NICE AND BE HIS FRIEND...I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED WITH HIM.
GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....i WAS TRYING TO BE NICE AND BE HIS FRIEND...I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED WITH HIM.
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Michigan
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Wed, September 30, 2009 - 10:30 AMYou're going to have to be firm. Tell him if he wants to remain friends with you he has to respect your wishes that he does not touch you.
That it makes you uncomfortable. If he keeps touching you in a manner you do not like then he's disrespecting you and is not a very good friend so you shouldn't feel badly if you have to tell him to go away.
He's playing on your sympathy to get away with touching and saying things that most guys would get slapped for or have water dumped on their pants.
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Wed, September 30, 2009 - 11:13 AMi hate my sides grabbed too Gracie. Old guys sometimes think they can get away with stuff like that. Cause they're old so we apose to respect them.
Be firm :)
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Wed, September 30, 2009 - 6:10 PMthank you B and Lisa. I'm definitely going to have to be more firm and consistent with him. -
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Wed, September 30, 2009 - 11:47 PMI've ran in to pervy old men a few times. They will push it constantly if you don't put your foot down and you might just have to break off the friendship if they won't stop.
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Thu, October 1, 2009 - 9:40 AMI've been thinking a bit lately about boundaries. Like how sometimes we give certain people different boundaries, we might be willing to let an older man get away with more, or someone who is completely untrustworthy or unnattractive might be given more strict boundaries. I guess the difference is when it starts to make you feel uncomfortable, that is when the boundary has been crossed and it's obvious that you are uncomfortable.
I bet he would not want to do it if he knew it was grossing you out.
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Thu, October 1, 2009 - 4:32 PMUnfortunatly Gravie there are some people who're gonna take friendship and friendlyness to mean much more than was implied, and I run into that problem lal the time, you gotta be firm and tell the gentleman, stop, this is not consensual, and if you continue we're going to have to not be friends any more. -
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Thu, October 1, 2009 - 4:42 PMACK GRACIE not GRAVIE I am so sorry I didn't notice I hit the v not the c,. -
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Sat, October 3, 2009 - 11:17 AMeeeeeheeee i do dat alla time Chris haha
i spose dat's what PREVIEW is sposed to be for
but do i use it? no.
Gravy hehe i likes it! -
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Sun, October 4, 2009 - 6:31 PMI tried explaining to him that he needed to stop, but its like he's so lonely that he's no longer thinking clearly. i realize he doesn't like the divorce with his wife, i also realize he's very alone but why is he clingy to me...we work in a huge grocery store...why me? -
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Sun, October 4, 2009 - 9:49 PMBecause he can get away with it and play against your guilt. No one is ever "so lonely" that they don't know what they're doing when they touch someone inappropriately. If that was a reasonable excuse people would be using it for rape all the time.
He's taking advantage of your kind nature. You have to put your foot down. If he won't stop avoid him and be vocal when he touches and report him to the boss if he doesn't stop. It's sexual harassment, just because you're "friends" doesn't mean it's okay.
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Wed, October 7, 2009 - 10:16 PMEw! That's sucks... like I agree with other 2 girls here - be firm and all of that. I hate people act like that. -
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Re: Flirting is fun, touching is not.
Wed, October 7, 2009 - 10:17 PMEep - I must be tired....
I don't mean to say just two... rest of the other replies on here. =P
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