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Tonight i was very overwhelmed in SL. I have been working super-hard on a major installation that is leading to a RL (real life) gallery show and book... and just finished another one; three months work. I was exhausted and went there to talk to friends i have been missing and so busy busy...
Then several gallery owners needed to meet and talk with me; one MAJOR interview with a very-well known virtual/digital worlds journalist, two really important (ie door-opening) meetings with people... and i could feel panic start; i was getting dizzy. I have been working 8-16 hrs a day 7 days a week in Second Life, building contacts for my resurrected career as an artist, and this is beginning to be the payoff...
But i got scared and panicked. It just seemed like so much happening at once and I was so nervous. And i felt guilty because two friends wanted to talk to me and i was in these interviews... i dunno if it was too much stimulation, or if i am afraid of being noticed, or afraid of success or what... i just could feel the scary rising and i really wanted to just pitch a fit and a tantrum and JUST BE QUIET for awhile. I felt VERY little and overwhelmed :(
i'm going to sleep with my binky tonight.
Then several gallery owners needed to meet and talk with me; one MAJOR interview with a very-well known virtual/digital worlds journalist, two really important (ie door-opening) meetings with people... and i could feel panic start; i was getting dizzy. I have been working 8-16 hrs a day 7 days a week in Second Life, building contacts for my resurrected career as an artist, and this is beginning to be the payoff...
But i got scared and panicked. It just seemed like so much happening at once and I was so nervous. And i felt guilty because two friends wanted to talk to me and i was in these interviews... i dunno if it was too much stimulation, or if i am afraid of being noticed, or afraid of success or what... i just could feel the scary rising and i really wanted to just pitch a fit and a tantrum and JUST BE QUIET for awhile. I felt VERY little and overwhelmed :(
i'm going to sleep with my binky tonight.
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Louisville
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you can do it. i know you can
Wed, November 11, 2009 - 10:23 AMi get the same way. like really really bad sometimes.
Wanna know what I do? i like to remove myself from the situation when i can. like get out of my body and see the situation from a third party view so that hopefully my emotions won't make me explode. my heart gets to where it's pounding really fast and i'm breathing fast and aaaah, but when i try to look at everything from the outside it's easier to make decisions and stay calm.
It's sort of like when you're playing barbies. Your friends are playing Ken and Theresa (barbie's hispanic friend) and you are playing Barbie. You have no control over Ken and Theresa, but you do have control over Barbie's actions. It's easier to know what Barbie should say or the professional way for her to act in the situation than it is for myself.
This is making no sense at all, but when I get nervous, I try to separate myself, not take anything personally, and view my body as just the Barbie that is going to say what I tell her to say.
When I have to make hard phone calls, be agressive, or sell myself (like in an interview) I like pretend I am Drew Barrymore playing Erin Brockovich in an acting role. Works everytime. -
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Re: you can do it. i know you can
Fri, November 13, 2009 - 9:09 AMgiggle hehe oooo snuggle my Chrissy you are so smart! I understand PERFECTLY!
It's just old ghosts, the old me that wants to hide and be ignored, starved and overlooked.
ps i know who Theresa is -_-
pps i know what Barbie says in that situation too -
"I told you if I caught you with that slut one more time I was asking for a divorce!!!!!" -
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Re: you can do it. i know you can
Fri, November 13, 2009 - 10:37 AM"the old me that wants to hide and be ignored, starved and overlooked."
wow, after I read that, I thought... OMG is that why I am this way? because I was ignored and overlooked before and that is what I am trying to re-create because it's familiar?!
Thanks for the insight. Don't you just love when you give out great insight on accident?!
ps, whatever you do, be sure to get that pink corvette in the divorce settlement. he can have the condo with the crappy elevator, just don't take my vette!
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Re: Ok so not a rant exactly...
Fri, November 13, 2009 - 12:05 PMcan we see your artwork Missy?
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Re: Ok so not a rant exactly...
Sat, November 14, 2009 - 1:25 PMAwwe, hun,
That's totally understandable. I have feeling same way before. I don't know much about SL though but I know the stress-wise feelings and I went though that before.
You will be ok! =)
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Re: Ok so not a rant exactly...
Sat, November 14, 2009 - 2:42 PMI get like that sometimes when I'm stressed too. Its verrrrrry scary to be in charge of a lot of stuff and be making phone calls and doing interviews and all that.
You just have to remember to breath and keep a small section of your time to just relax and unwind everyday for at least an hour.
Success is scary and putting yourself out there is scary but its SO worth it!
hugs -
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Re: Ok so not a rant exactly...
Sat, November 14, 2009 - 10:15 PMit's so nice to have girlfriends to talk about stuff like this!
Yes Chrissy, that's what i know from therapy; we try to recreate stuff that really isn't good because it's familiar! Now how crazy is THAT?!?!? Sheesh! I want to create BETTER things!
Emily, you are welcome to see my artwork. Second Life is a 3d digital world. Some people see it like a glorified chatroom but it really is the leading edge of the internet/future of digital interaction and there are many great FL (first life, physical, "real" world) artists working there. For instance... the interview I just finished put me in touch with the curator of an FL gallery in Boston. I now know the leading digital sound artist in Australia and he is introducing me to people he knows. I just got contacted by an art philanthropist in England. A girl i know, fellow artist, just got offered exhibition space in Paris... and she lives in Utah! So it is a place for leading-edge digital artists to make contacts and connections. That is what I am doing this year; after I left LA i took a year off (scary!) and am rejoining the arts community.
So here's my Flickr sets of photos featuring various graphic arts, pictures of whole projects I have done and etc:
www.flickr.com/photos/gomiso/
Here's a set on Koinup from the new collaboration I just finished which featured some big-name digital artists (3 months work):
www.koinup.com/Caerleon-I...ork/199555/
Here's my art blog with some of my work and writings:
gomiso.blogspot.com
^_^
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