There has been a lot of discussion about the Locked party rules; mostly about how they work for people in terms of being awkward or not, or whether or not they are restricting. What we have not had is much discussion about the reason behind the Locked party rules and while it seems some what evident to some, others have been both surprised and pleased when I have shared the reasoning with them. In the hopes that it will be helpful, I will share the reasoning here. I’m hesitant to speak on behalf of the entire Locked Team, but we have discussed this topic in detail and hopefully I’ll represent the philosophy well.

All of the Locked party rules ultimately have one goal and that is to put the focus for the evening on the Dominants in attendance. If a submissive is not allowed to speak to anyone during the evening without permission from their Dominant, they are that much more likely to pay attention to what their Dominant is doing because they have fewer distractions. Every time you approach a submissive and speak to them, you are taking their attention away from their Dominant. You are on that Dominant’s borrowed time. Think of it like calling your friend at work and trying to have a conversation with them while they are at their job. In theory a Dominant would only give their submissive permission to speak to another in a situation that was agreeable to them in some way, like asking the boss if your friend can take a break to talk to you. By asking a Dominant for permission to speak to their submissive, you are asking permission to take time away from that Dominant. Looking at it that way, asking first seems only polite.

One of the sources of confusion I hear often about the rules is “do I need to ask permission every time or do I only need to ask it once and then it’s OK to talk to them the rest of the night”. That depends on the Dominant’s choice. I find that most people that have a need to talk to accomplish something will tend to make it a night long rule that it’s OK to talk without permission. For example, I must communicate with my co-hosts during the evening to organize and execute the event. To that end, it would be impractical to have to ask permission each time. However, if a friend just wants to say “hi” to me (which is welcome!) they are taking my attention, focus and service away from my Daddy and therefore, should IMHO obtain his permission to do so.

In some circles it seems to be considered polite for submissives to be able to talk to each other without permission, while Dominants must ask permission to speak to a submissive that is not theirs. This does convey a fundamental respect from one Dominant to another however, if two submissives are talking without receiving permission first, the result is that there are two Dominants who are not being served.

What we hope the rules accomplish is to not only cultivate a certain atmosphere for the events, but to help attendees be successful for the evening is receiving and giving service, and in the practice of their power exchange by focusing the energies of the evening on the Dominants. These events are intended to put the Dominant in the limelight, allowing them to interact and socialize with each other, while being assured that their submissive will be able to focus on them at the same time. This is more difficult to accomplish at a standard play party where people are used to open socialization in a less structured setting. While we know that these rules will probably not be ideal for everyone, it’s our hope that for most they are supportive of your relationship dynamics and fairly easy to practice while not being intrusive to your particular protocols.

I welcome further discussion on this topic!