It's too easy.
You'll meet people on vacation.

>> "and the second one started to showing signs of trouble right as I got to the point of moving"

Perhaps the strain of the distance, all those lonely times, the rush of the very short times when you were together, all were a factor that caused him issue?
Long distance love as you said is difficult and I feel people shouldn't be judged based on their behavior when exposed to this unnatural situation.

When you did move with your first, as you probably experienced, what you thought things would be like were not how they were when you did move. It is likely your second one was not going to be trouble if you had moved. But I don't think you wouldn't know unless you tried it. This is what a counselor told me and my long distance partner. If it really didn't work after a reasonable amount of time, then you simply split knowing your fears were proven.

I'd have given it one or two years to see, he'd have probably been ok, as it is awful to live alone waiting as many people in this tribe and similar ones have said. Also remember perceptions over distance are quite skewed, as you only see them for a few days in the course of months or sometimes years, so good face-to-face communication is difficult, as you must have experienced.

Going to a counselor about these issues is a good idea.

When I went to counseling with my long distance partner, after just a few sessions the counselor said to her (considering our situations) that to make it work she had to move, but she still refused citing various fears about me or the idea of living together being restrictive, all of which were based on the awkwardness of a long distance situation. It didn't help that she'd lived alone virtually her entire life, being Ms.Independent, except for an extremely short relationship many many years ago, where once she'd moved he became physically abusive, hitting her. So I guess that added to her fears, thinking it might be the same for me.

Our situation was worse as she imposes no end date which was extremely demotivating for me with her forever continued lack of commitment to move.
That caused the most serious problem with our situation. So when I managed to get into a situation that I could move, it was then even more of an emotional slap in the face that she refused me to move too! Which caused EVEN more difficulties for our relationship. But she couldn't see it!

In our situation the counselor soon realized she was not the type of person who could probably ever live with someone for more than a few months, maybe a year or two, and told me of the personality type: Dance Away Lover
The counselor was then on a mission to break us up, which was a strange feeling to have, being told the counselor hoped I'd find someone on vacation, or suggesting she get a restraining order against me. But told me that would make the non-committer actually show signs of committing one way or another, and ensure a permanent breakup, as the "Dance Away Lover" type needs to get it into their head to not emotionally yo-yo their partner with let's be together, breakup, together, breakup, together, breakup, together, breakup, together, breakup...

I found a book and some information online about the Dance Away Lover type, which I pulled together on these pages: www.dongrays.com/btd/dance-away-lover/
It's a good warning to anyone who finds themselves with someone who is a commitmentphobe.

FYI Those pages start with:
• The singles’ world is full of people who can not sustain a long-term relationship. A long-term relationship is one that lasts a minimum of four years. You often meet singles who have a history of six-month to three-year relationships. For whatever reason, they can’t make that fourth year.

and finish with:
• If you are in love with someone who is afraid of commitment, he or she might try to persuade you that you are neurotic, that you are too needy and you demand too much. Don't fall for it. The desire to be in a committed, intimate relationship is healthy and natural. Commitmentphobia is the problem, not the desire for closeness. Don't blame yourself when your affections push him/her away. Rather, recognize that you are with a commitmentphobe, and back off yourself -- way off.

My problem was I didn't back way off, I still kept showing 100% commitment, being extremely supportive in a manner of ways, but she just couldn't behave in a normal way, just taking what she needed to survive, but not giving what I needed (ie to be in a normal, stable, permanent, living together relationship) while being an incredible drain on my resources and draining my emotional well being too.

Those pages assume men are the non-committer which is apparently stereotypically true, but I experienced it in my partner. They also apply to a local relationship too, so maybe of use to anyone who is wondering why things are not progressing in a normal way, with barriers being thrown up.
Well worth a read.

Another analysis of her I'd had is she was a sociopath, which according to a dictionary says:
• Sociopaths are interested only in their personal needs and desires, without concern for the effects of their behavior on others.

This *is* what I experienced. It was so much about what she wanted, want to do, her needs for weeks to get "clarity", needs to survive, where she was going in her life. Never about us, and what we would do, nor when we'd be together, living like 99% of couples do.

>> "The partner who is doing the relocating may have to deal with the loss of proximity to family and friends"

I hope you had a conversation about who'd move faiirly early on?
Once that had happened, as it sounds like you were the one to be moving, I hope you'd discussed this with all your family and friends fairly soon, and as the time went on you were mentally preparing yourself for this, and not ignoring the issue. It's possible you saw issues in him due to a lack of preparedness?

Because we are creatures of the flesh and our joyous flesh should not be treated that way.
Maybe it just dies because there is no one there, no body.
You are having an infatuation with a ghost while you are living flesh so it is simply impossible.
After a while it evaporates...It is like you had a relationship with a character in a book novel.

But that is my experience with someone who was a no show.