I thought we were going to have a concensus for a group of 5 moderators as group a group moderator. Does anybody still want that?

NO moderator

And are you kidding Daisy? You smoked that Drippin'. Get real.

Karolina

Nathan, is that you in a new disguise ?

Daisy,

The dirty trick aspect of practicing RUOW to me is that if you really do practice RUOW then not only is it likely you will trigger the gap in your relationships, it is 100% guaranteed. That's one of the understandings I needed to retrieve at the bottom of one of my relationship pits. One of the benefits out that gap process is that I no longer generate the bonus guilt that said it ‘should not’ keep happening so often if I had really been healing my relationship gaps. I understood this one around about the 10-year mark of working on my gap there.

The following remarks are not specifically addressed to you but some things I want to say about what I am most tired of here on this forum and similar previous ruow forums.

First of all, I recall very early on, probably in blue, God said that while Will is meant to be given alot of freedom of expression, it was not to become the dictator as that was not balance either. That has stayed with me and I continue to work with the hundreds possibly thousands of imprints and form changes that I hold there from both Will the dictator and Will the slave, and where they are the same. I find both Will aspects reflected here without anyone mentioning this aspect of dictatorship. In my view you can't encourage free feeling expression without expecting to trigger the same reaction in the other party or 'side'.

Second, this year, I have come to understand that fear can be a bigger bully than rage ever can because it can appear to be so much more reasonable about it’s security concerns, therefore rage can be duped again and again into protecting and even sacrificing it’s health for fear. But after 17 years of consciously processing myriad form changes on this specific gap, I bridged this heart gap to the understanding that fear can be the bigger bully. When I understood and accepted that and addressed that issue out loud, I underwent my own form change, which is why I am a much less fat person today. Today, I am not up to relating even one story concerning this important-to-me understanding, as I am also tired and unused to relating important things ‘over the air’. I am also not at liberty to share stories I don’t own exclusively and I think I have also said enough on fear-as-the-dictator/bully-over-rage guilt, for others to see how that is reflected in their lives or health if it is indeed even their gap issue, as it is/was in mine.

The last thing that I would like to say about my own issue with forums is that it has been suggested in the past that I am a smart person so I have been simultaneously accused of using it to both avoid my gap and use it to clobber others. Well, fine, but I discovered on my feeling level in 1991 my smarts and my stupidities are irrelevant compared to my density issues. I continue to work with my personal density concerns and that is where my expression smart and stupid, now originates (working to heal my gap) and no place else first. You want to know who I am, the 11:11am reply I gave roger on the roger and allen thread is exactly me speaking from my understanding and accepting of not only who and what I am but also from my understanding and accepting of who and what roger is here on this site. I mean come on, threatened by a masked hidden sissy without the balls to reveal his true physical form or his volumes of ‘work’. My irritation’s clarity says, ‘Get real.’ My personal power player within me (that is right here and conscious with me) says she recognizes that one of roger’s greatest fears is that he is not a good writer, and once that’s pointed out he loses what he considers his power base, and he is right because what else has he revealed about himself? Everything else he keeps hidden here. But that’s the emperor-has-no-cloths aspect of the personal gap. Everyone else (who is conscious enough within their own power play) sees it plain as day before you do. He knows it and now he knows we know it so he is going away now, before it spreads to his other sites.

As to moderator, I feel we could take care of individuals such as roger ourselves, individually and collectively. I view him as a form change on Nathan-as-moderator lingering charge, and per usual, with all things gap, a more irritating form change. My feeling tells me that it is essentially the same for Nathan to threaten to banish or erase people and threatening people with big brother, aka. tribe admin.

I don’t have much against Semele apart from an incident years ago when she asked to be included in a thread and simultaneously expressed her fears of too much direct expression from the other participants there, ‘so could we please stop being so direct if it concerned her directly and please slow down too? to a speed and comfort level more suitable to where she was at in her process there’ as both request (and which I also experienced as a fear demand). That is one of my examples of my experiencing fear as the bully/dictator. I felt that since she wanted to go slower and have less direct expression then she should have opened her own thread where she could have had exactly it how she wanted it. My feeling tells me, whatever degree you want to relate to someone or some current group, then keep up or ‘move it’ on the same depth of feeling.
Now that I have expressed how I felt about that lone incident I can let that go. If Semele has something to say about that, it is hers to share from her point of view. My point is of my not wanting a moderator here is not against Semele in particular, or even southpaw (who also had some involvement in the incident I brought forward here), I just don’t see the need here for one at all.

Karolina

Say Daisy response for your july 2/ 12:27am posting

It nice to hear you state your feelings with " I " statements

Unfortunately I attend this support group and even though we emphasize using " I " statements to personaly own our own thoughts, feelings and judgements, verbally expressing emotions in this this way I believe takes the emotional charge away, perhaps even typing words as " I am angry or that person is passive aggressive prick" diminishes the real authentic charge as well. It works that way with me.

At our group we checkin with what we are feeling first off. I'd rather just say that " I'm here "