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I'm happy and tripping out...
I feel pretty happy. I confronted a fix it ticket yesterday and it was only $50. My MO ticket wise has been to ignore in the past and that cost me a lot of money. This time I showed up and it wasn't so bad. I had to go to court and plead no contest to driving with a head light out. It seems like a lot of rigamoroul for a head light issue. I was scared. It was a real court and a real judge, and she had big puffy bleached blond hair. Anyway I paid the $50 and went to work. It was nerve racking to say the least. I think I can extrapalate this to my life, I have to go to my own court and deal with the stuff that comes up and hopefully I only pay $50 and maybe it comes out in my favor and I gain something. I feel like I have gained some confidence in the last several months. I feel freer to confront my stuff. I also feel better equipted to know who and where to confront it with. I feel like their are huge rewards for being totally at one with myself. If I drive without a headlight working then I need to be with me while I deal with the consequences of such behavior ( and at $50 the consequences were not that bad) . I have in the past tried to ignore or bury stuff that scared me or felt uncomfortable, I still do and it's understandable. We are not taught skills often to really feel and process all that comes up as a human. I love my job because I get to pursue that for myself and help others do that too. So I'm happy to me which may be all the happiness one gets in this life time. Although I'm open to more if it comes.
Are you confronting anything in yourself you haven't been able to do until now? How are you doing it? What is helping you confront these issues?
I feel pretty happy. I confronted a fix it ticket yesterday and it was only $50. My MO ticket wise has been to ignore in the past and that cost me a lot of money. This time I showed up and it wasn't so bad. I had to go to court and plead no contest to driving with a head light out. It seems like a lot of rigamoroul for a head light issue. I was scared. It was a real court and a real judge, and she had big puffy bleached blond hair. Anyway I paid the $50 and went to work. It was nerve racking to say the least. I think I can extrapalate this to my life, I have to go to my own court and deal with the stuff that comes up and hopefully I only pay $50 and maybe it comes out in my favor and I gain something. I feel like I have gained some confidence in the last several months. I feel freer to confront my stuff. I also feel better equipted to know who and where to confront it with. I feel like their are huge rewards for being totally at one with myself. If I drive without a headlight working then I need to be with me while I deal with the consequences of such behavior ( and at $50 the consequences were not that bad) . I have in the past tried to ignore or bury stuff that scared me or felt uncomfortable, I still do and it's understandable. We are not taught skills often to really feel and process all that comes up as a human. I love my job because I get to pursue that for myself and help others do that too. So I'm happy to me which may be all the happiness one gets in this life time. Although I'm open to more if it comes.
Are you confronting anything in yourself you haven't been able to do until now? How are you doing it? What is helping you confront these issues?
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Los Angeles
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Re: Confronting ourselves?
Wed, November 4, 2009 - 4:02 PMFor me, it's self-responsibility. Being true to myself and what's going on. I too used to bury stuff away and now that doesn't happen. It's like my body won't let me do it anymore. If I feel emotions, I feel them. I take some time out when I can and be with them. It's definitely scary and not easy to do, but I give myself compassion in all situations. I don't self-judge or beat myself up about it. It's an ongoing process and I'm open and loving to it. I'm grateful for my therapist, friends, family and husband. They all support me through those times.
:-)
