Mr. Bear's Lair: The Original Story, in ancient Critter dialect "WaaPooNeeUhNooNoo":
HeeR in dis LaiR wee haPPLee ReeZide undeR da RooL ub da BEAR KING “Mr. Bear”. Mr. Bear izZa PoLaR BeaR hoO RooLz da LaiR Frum an ICY LAND FaR away bia da same miRRakuL ub TeKnawLoJee wich bRingz us heeR 2gedduR 2day “MR. COMPUTER.”
Mr. Bear inhaiRuTTid da LaiR Frum one BEAR X. da LeJund suRRownding dee inhaiRuTins izZa sad sToRy beTTeR LeFT unToLd.
In dis COZY LAIR wee CRITTERZ, BEARS, SPIRITS an WINGED CREATURES uFF MAGIC an BEEYoOTee ReeZide 2geddur in haRmunee. OwTside da ReeR enTRance ub owr CABE yoO wiLL Find a RIBBUR deT Runz TRoO da midduL ub an ENCHANTED FOREST wich Leedz ToO a REEFRESHING WATER HOLE. (no fluoride! www.youtube.com/watch ) Mr. BeaR haz grayshusLee uhLowed us ToO sTay heeR Long az wee Like.
Da goLdeny RoOL ub owR MAJIKULL KINGDUM iz ((( R.A.B.E.N.))) dat meenz "REESPEKT AN BEE XTREEMLEE NICEY NICE TOO WUN ANUDDER" IF wee doO dis owR LidduL FambLee Reemaynz in TakT. BioLayshunz ub dis rooL wiLL ReZuLt in BANISHMINT Frum da Lair. ShoOd a banished member ub da LaiR wish toO ReeTuRn, it musT bee eskimoLaTed ToO BEAR COURT WeeR Mr. Bear wiLL hab da FinaL say aFTeR a boTe iz Taykin by da cRiTTeRz an Bears.
Deer ComRadz, wiF dis bReeF hisTRee gibbin may inee kunTinshunz FeLT bee boysd or 4ebbur hoLd yeR peas. An shoOd der bee nun, may 2geddur wee join in da sPiRiT ub sTrengF an kuRRiJ. Let us kiR an waTch out Fer wun anudder TRoO da Forthcoming yeeRz ub owR Libes in haRmunee, peas an Fond FeeLuRz. HeeR, in Mr. Bear’s Lair!
P.S. da Lair iz RaTed PPG-23 (Peas PLay gRaceFuLLy wiF da inTuRconnecTed)
Mr. Bear's Lair: English version
Mr. Bear's Lair is some kind of portal. Here you will find yourself among a family of magical creatures on a widiculously wunnaful journey. The entrance and beginning of our journey is a bear cave. The cave lets out into a forest, which goes by many names; The Secrety Forest, The Eternal Forest, The Forever Forest and The Enchanted Forest. All spirits, like stories, are eternal here. Which is why we strongly encourage nonjudgment, open-mindedness, honor for one another, and above all, LOVE. Within this safe space, we honor each being to find their own voice(s), spirit(s) and animal totem(s). The forest, a lush collective of infinite possibilities, is here to guide you.
☀ Rules: Bigotry, (Jokes included) the celebration of feasting upon tortured animals, violence, sexism, disrespect of one another and censorship of free thinking will not be tolerated. We do ask that topics be kept lighthearted however. There's an underground free speech radio station, "Free Rabbit Robot Radio", for awakening and supporting one another. Please see Merlin Bear for the keys.
You'll also find us hanging out and about at a multitude of other locations throughout the forest. Be sure to let us know if you need help finding your way around!