I posted this before, but don't see it now (Tribe's bugs I guess), so I'm posting it again with a slight revision.
About 2 years ago, and then again recently, I went through a relationship where I found myself used & abused. I've learned that school of thought that says I "attracted" these "frequencies" so I've been spelunking my soul for the source of this so I can stop "vibrating" on that "frequency".
I must say however, that I had another relationship in tandem with my most recent one that was not like this at all. It was pretty undramatic and defined by equal reciprocation. In other words, I didn't feel used or abused in that one at all.
So it lends me to wonder if I'm really "attracting" that kind of behavior through my "vibration" or if I was simply the victim of abusive, opportunistic people that got past my radar?
I should also say that it was due to what I learned from the prior abusive relationship that empowered me to spot the signs and end the recent one much quicker. Was this perhaps just the Universe making sure I "learned the lesson"?
A friend recommended I read "The Power of Now" and it speaks a bit about this issue of attracting certain themes. I haven't gotten further than this particular theme in the book yet and wanted to pause there to address it with my fellow Shadow Workers.
The passage that stood out for me was this:
"If you cannot feel your emotions, if you are cut off from them, you will eventually experience them on a purely physical level, as a physical problem or symptom. A strong unconscious emotional pattern may even manifest as an external event that appears to just happen to you. For example, I have observed that people who carry a lot of anger inside without being aware of it and without expressing it are more likely to be attacked, verbally or even physically, by other angry people, and often for no apparent reason. They have a strong emanation of anger that certain people pick up on subliminally that triggers their own latent anger."
Thus I asked myself today if I have latent anger (and/or grief) that is attracting opportunities to express itself, for I certainly get angry -and often depressed- when I find myself being used and abused in what are supposed to be loving relationships.
The book goes on to say that all emotions are modifications of one primordial, undifferentiated emotion that has its origin in the loss of awareness of who we are beyond name and form; and that since it's undifferentiated in nature, it's hard to find a name that precisely defines it. Tolle (the author) simply refers to this primal emotion as Pain, and writes how one of the main tasks of the mind is to fight or remove that emotional pain, which is one of the reasons for its incessant activity, but all it can ever achieve is to cover it up temporarily.
"In fact the harder the mind struggles to get rid of the pain, the greater the pain. The mind can never find the solution, nor can it allow you to find the solution, because it is itself an intrinsic part of the "problem".
"Imagine a chief of police trying to find an arsonist when the arsonist *is* the chief of police. You will not be free of that pain until youcease to derive your sense of self from identification with the mind, which is to say from the ego. The mind is then toppled from its place of power and Being reveals itself as your true nature."
Okay, so that all makes sense to me, now how can I apply this to my situation?
Or, like I said, has this less to do with me and more to do with simply avoiding these kind of people in the first place? After all, there certainly seem to be energy vampires out there just looking for giving people willing to give others the benefit of the doubt.
sometimes the nature of the relation takes a life of its own,,,
like two chemicals or flavors that when put together lead to another place,,,
I've been in relations where i've wondered how i got there,,,
and then again,,,we never know what the other persons whims and emotions take them,,,
Its the winds and sometimes we go with it and look where we are,,,
maybe there is something to be learned,,,even tho there seem to be better ways
to learn our life lessons,,,best regards Marley,,,
"Okay, so that all makes sense to me, now how can I apply this to my situation? "
i was also in this state a couple of weeks ago, and my realization is that there is no applaying just noticing it, not interacting not trying to grasp the "noticer" within the realm of thoughts but just letting youself be abused or whateve and watching it happen like in a movie. have faith its tricky at first but ull be amazed at the results ; )
the idea of 'vibration' is infinite.. and can include all ideas, beliefs, thoughts, emotions, knowledge..
it can be simple or complex (lots of layers of simplicity).
It can include ideas which are directed at self, that are directed at 'others' (much the same thing when you get down to it)..
Belief: "I shouldn't shout at bad drivers" includes the judgement 'some drivers are bad' and 'I am wrong for being angry and shouting' and 'my anger is wrong' and 'I am wrong'.
Without addressing these and transforming self you may find people come along and shout at you as you drive yourself through yourself in your vehicle we sometimes call 'life'.. hehe.. ;)
The idea that 'what you put out is what you get back' confuses people a lot of the time because they think 'I'm not putting that out.. how can I be getting that back?'.. The real-eyes-ation is that it is your definition of yourself which creates your state of being which IS the frequency you 'put out'... so you could be simultaneously consciously 'putting out' loving vibes.. while at the same moment maintaining a belief system which is far more magnetic which is laden in judgement.
p.s. don't even bother 'trying' to change BECAUSE of what you think you will get back... change because it is who you are and you cannot be any other way.. one path leads to pain and denial.. the other to joy and liberation!
Nicely put nick :)
Btw. marley, heres 2 inspirational qoutes that might help as pointers sometimes:
Its the silence between the notes that makes the music.
A summer-butterfly will never expiriance winter.
Mmmm.... I think I'm going to enjoy basking in the light of those words for a while Indigo -thank you :o)