wedding etiquette...

topic posted Wed, November 15, 2006 - 8:24 AM by  fauxmad redux
so, i have a friend (more of a pal, really. a former housemate from prague who made the wannabe migration to korea) who is getting married to some korean chick, who no one can pronounce her name, in order to keep dating her (very a la chad and yelena). i am to go to their wedding. i am unsure of wedding etiquite, my only experience having been the knippelmeir nuptuials and the lovely back yard service for the kruses. both were heavily facilitated by narcotics. i mean, what do you wear to a wedding? what do you give to people who are getting married? is it rude to invite other people i know who don't have anything better to do on a sunday afternoon than belly-up to an open-bar? someone out there must know. it ain't me... oh, yeah, and EVERYONE there is going to be korean. the koreans and i don't seem to see eye to eye on many things...
  • Re: wedding etiquette...

    Wed, November 15, 2006 - 10:34 AM
    i've been to my share of weddings and here are the "rules" from what I can surmise:

    Don't wear anything that shows your nipples or your ass crack.

    You can invite one other person but to bring more than that without asking will put you on the shit list (b/c each guest costs money).

    Wedding presents are a little looser-- generally people give household items-- a pepper grinder, a decorative platter, glassware, etc. But IMHO you can bring anything you want-- a parakeet, a bottle of Creme de Menthe, video games, you get the idea.
  • Unsu...

    Re: wedding etiquette...

    Thu, November 16, 2006 - 1:50 AM
    I've never been to an all Asian wedding.. which is pretty sad. I just missed my cousin's wedding in Taiwan :(

    Some things to take into consideration:

    - Don't wear anything that will take attention away from the bride.. like don't wear white or red.. or fake blood. Might be a good idea to stay away from black too since it's a Korean wedding.
    - Present should be elaborately wrapped with ribbons and shit. Hopefully they have a gift registry somewhere to make picking out the present easy. Some suggestions if they don't: crystal vase, plates/dishes, bread maker, baking supplies, picture frames. Basically any household item that they can use together in their new home.
    - You can invite Jamal, and that's it.

    Weddings can be fun. Hopefully this one will be too.
    • Re: wedding etiquette...

      Fri, November 17, 2006 - 3:54 AM
      fuck it... i got them matching lighters and i am rolling as a plus 4. i mean, think of all the entertainment and free shit i have probably brought to their lives (or may, indeed, bring to their lives in the future). i think the universe owes me an inappropriate event...
      • Re: wedding etiquette...

        Fri, November 17, 2006 - 6:57 AM
        that's the ticket, Katie. Think of all the entertainment you will bring to their lives in the future. that's good enough for me.

        the next question is, have you ever done an "appropriate" event? think of your own college graduation, for instance.
      • Re: wedding etiquette...

        Fri, November 17, 2006 - 7:40 AM
        that's my girl...keep up the good work. todd would be disappointed if you slowed your game, even if it is his wedding. give him a sloppy kiss for me and tell his korean girlfriend to wear a name tag. (preferably in phonetics)

        i miss you doll. call a homie sometime. catch me up on the india trip...

        oh yeah, remember that bitches always eat free, expecially at a open bar where they have free cake.
        • Re: wedding etiquette...

          Fri, November 17, 2006 - 9:16 PM
          Katie I used my research skills to get you some facts on the matter. I've added a se-seyo to all the facts.

          Good News!!! You can bring your duck! "wedding ducks are a symbol for a long and happy marriage. Cranes are a symbol of long life and may be represented on the woman's sash-se-seyo)."

          About the matching lighters: "If you are bringing a gift to the wedding, do not expect that the gift will be opened in front of you. The Korean custom is to open gifts in private-se-seyo)"

          Here's how you and Mal and your other dashing friends should behave at the wedding-se-seyo: "when trees are beginning to blossom, young couples are found by Taedong River or Pottongang Hotel. They talk with each other sitting in a bench for hours-se-seyo. Most marriages are for love, but if one of their parents oppose the marriage, they will obey."

          (Some other shit i misleadingly pasted together for you two:)
          Katie at this event I feel you will learn a great deal about the changing roles of Korean women, young and old, in a society rapidly transformed in the late twentieth century by industrial capitalism and the emergence of a full-blown consumer culture. You will be able to explore what it means to be modern and what it means to be Korean in a culture where courtship and marriage are often the crucible in which notions of gender and class are cast and recast.

          Anyway, you and Jamal in Korea makes me feel good about things, You two fucking rock harder than David Hasselhoff on Viagra in Germany. You guys are playing on the main stage of my heart.
  • Unsu...

    Re: wedding etiquette...

    Mon, November 20, 2006 - 10:29 AM
    You should wear a big beatiful hat like the one you wore on my wedding.
    Even though you brought with you a few people I did not know, the hat overrode everything.
    It was nice.
    • Unsu...

      Re: wedding etiquette...

      Mon, November 20, 2006 - 10:31 AM
      Thinking about it, I did not know you very well either, but after the hat everything changed.
      • Re: wedding etiquette...

        Mon, November 20, 2006 - 9:15 PM
        Thank you kate. I have always thought of myself as center stage sort of man. The wedding was korean. There was about 8 or so white westerners among a sea well-dressed koreans. Not to say that we werent dressed but i never got a chance to get a hold of a rhine-stone studded suit. It was a pleasant day down south in busan and the wedding was outdoors. Lucky for us because we were really hung over after a night of drinking some monk booze. Buddist that is. We werent invited to the "traditional korean" lunch out of fear. Instead we were treated to a turkish lunch. Nice. The reception was about 10 people at a noribong. Karaoke bar. VIP room we got. Took the midnight train heading anywhere and we were home. I wondered if I had a wedding of whether i would let people do drugs. I think so. Katie and also agreed, if it happens, have our wedding on a friday night. Never sunday. Thank you for your esearch kate, anyone who knows me knows I am a fact man. I love facts.
        • Re: wedding etiquette...

          Mon, November 20, 2006 - 11:09 PM
          Another fact: November 20th is Bruce Sweetwater's birthday
          • Re: wedding etiquette...

            Tue, November 21, 2006 - 8:46 AM
            Oh Bruce, how come you never come around no more?
            • Re: wedding etiquette...

              Tue, November 21, 2006 - 11:51 AM
              First off, sorry to reply off-topic, but I couldn't let this one slide.

              Alex, don't pretend to mourn someone who's dead when you loathed them while alive. I mean, let's be honest and forthright with one another. Even for all his charm, you hated Bruce. I know that because Bruce, at one of his more emotional moments, wrote me a letter (dictated and transcribed by one of the ladies) outlining your disdain for him. That pained a man that was fairly impervious (read: numb) to pain. As guardian of his estate, I thank you for your concern about Bruce, but let's cut the "why don't you come 'round no more" crap. That's not your syntax and it's not your sentiment. Don't hide behind the veil of internet bravado.
              • Re: wedding etiquette...

                Tue, November 21, 2006 - 1:31 PM
                Scott, I loathe very few people. Almost none. None that I can think of, actually. Certainly not our Bruce. This letter you speak of must have been penned at a time when Bruce was feeling particularly vulnerable, perhaps due to a rebuffal by me of his affections/advances. Any such rejection can not be said to equal hate or loathing. Disgust, perhaps, at the most. That said, Bruce had his tender moments, particularly very late at night after a long evening of carousing. I remember one in particular where he kneeled before me offering up a large mirror decorated with a sunburst of blow. These moments inspired my perhaps misplaced sentiment as to why he don't come around no more. As guardian of his estate, I think it wise for you to refrain from mucking about in business of his which did not concern you.
        • Re: wedding etiquette...

          Tue, November 21, 2006 - 8:48 AM
          If Katie and Jamal got married, what would their wedding be like?

          -Drugs. Would the bride and groom be high, or just the guests?
          -On a friday. This opens up the possibility of a 3-day wedding party.

          there are many other concerns, including but not limited to,

Recent topics in "Cajun Crusher"

Topic Author Replies Last Post
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMAL! Unsubscribed 1 June 10, 2008
Webster Krusher Gamma Gamma 9 May 19, 2008
Cajun Krusher Gamma Gamma 13 April 14, 2008
Happy New Year! Unsubscribed 0 January 3, 2008