THE DAY THAT I AM ABLE TO DO THESE THINGS
I WILL KNOW THAT I AM TRULY FREE
FREE AT LAST
1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
posted by:
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Michigan
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Sun, September 30, 2007 - 2:37 PMthose are hilarious!
I like the "meow occasionaly" one. You know, all subtle-like
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Sun, September 30, 2007 - 4:16 PM25. Back-announce the piped-in Muzak selections. -
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Sat, January 12, 2008 - 8:32 PM
Someone told me a story once about living in a high-rise dorm at college. The story went that some prankster opened-up the button pannel and rewired the whole thing. All the residents thought it was so funny that it was never reported to maintenence. Non-residents would get on and push three and go up to eight and so on. Sort of like a roulette elevator. You'd never know where you'd end up. -
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Fri, May 2, 2008 - 11:52 AMThis is AWESOME! ROFL
I cannot even imagine living in a building with that many people who have a good sense of humor.
I am going to choose to believe this is totally true because I would just LOVE it. It would be a freaking blast!
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Mon, January 14, 2008 - 5:47 AMhahahahhahaa!!!
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Sun, April 13, 2008 - 2:55 PM
more things to do . . . to stay healthy (thanks to mike in jokes for refreshing the page again on these)
in-joy !
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks write "For Marijuana."
7. Finish all your sentences with, “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”
9. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
10. With a serious face, order a diet water whenever you go out to eat.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”
12. Sing along at the opera.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream , “I won! I won!”
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “'Run for your lives! They're loose!”
19. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Fri, April 18, 2008 - 4:07 AM*giggle* I just counted up and there's six of those that I've actually done, and more that I really should.... ;)
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Fri, May 2, 2008 - 11:11 AMOrdering diet water and #14 are my favorites!
I've done #2.
And, speaking as a JAVA junkie, #5 is just mean. Decaf should cease to exist! (I have no trouble with the Expresso part - heheheheeheeee) -
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Fri, May 2, 2008 - 11:23 AM
jenny, that is funny!
i've actually done 14... well, not the netting...
i did dress up in a beach outfit and played loons all day
(and it was in a very high profile law office,
and i got away with hit!)
it would be interesting to find out
whether any other merry and evil pranksters here
have done any of these
or variations thereof
: )
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Fri, May 2, 2008 - 12:10 PMI'm surprised you got away with it. That is great! Maybe they were just too astounded to know what to think or to react ;-)
Shake 'em up, it is good for them.
I hope you get replies on the "confessions", I think that would be interesting too.
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Sun, May 4, 2008 - 11:52 AMWhere can I buy these "X-Ray Specs" you write of? These could come in handy many places other than elevators. -
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Re: 24 things to do in an elevator
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 9:32 PMLast I knew in the back pages of comic books where you can order all sorts of this type of thing :-)
See if you can locate a current comic along the line of Archie or Richie Rich.... ;-)
You really want them THAT badly???? HAHAHAHAHAHA
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