Act III
“Knight of the Plague”
Scene 1
(A meadow in the forest. Megloo Morkath lies sleeping noisily. Gorgorum stands over him looking annoyed and bored. As dawn approaches, Gorgorum kicks MM awake.)
Megloo:
Oof! By the smudges, why do you torment me so?
Gorgorum:
Dawn approaches, Mongrel-man. We must make haste or fail our quest.
Megloo:
Your master must be kind indeed to give away such juicy turnips. In my village, eating a turnip was said to cure love blisters.
Gorgorum(hesitates):
Er,indeed. Master Gastagog is deeply interested in the suffering of peasants. Including you, Ugly one.
Megloo:
Thanks so much! I just wish I had my real hands, so I could carry this sack better.
Gorgorum:
Your agony will build character.
(commotion in the distance. Suddenly a blonde knight in golden armor runs on stage, apparently retreating from something. He carries a broken sword and a dented, dilapidated shield)
Yellow Knight:
You may have won this round, cruel foe, but I’ll be back! Good always triumphs over evil! (forces a laugh) Haha!
Ogre (from off stage):
Har Har! Come back any time, puny manling. I’ll mop my cave with your pretty golden locks! Ah hahahahahaha!
(Knight looks at his broken sword, and his shoulders hunch in despair. He begins to weep uncontrollably)
Megloo:
Uh… Something wrong, sir?
Yellow Knight(startled, trying to choke back tears):
No! Everything… is splendid. The sun shines down on another glorious day, another chance for me to prove my valor.
Gorgorum:
It looks as though you had your chance today.
(Knight recoils as if slapped and begins weeping again.)
Megloo:
Are you a wizard?
Yellow Knight:
No, my young squire. I am Lethos, a Warrior of Light, sworn to protect all that is good and right.
Megloo:
What happened to your sword?
Yellow Knight:
Little friend, you ask many questions, but I will answer you fair and true. I met with a most grievous foe, a creature of vile and powerful evil beyond even my powers. The hated Ogre of the Woods, who gobbles the innocent and pure.
Gorgorum:
It’s not too late. Go back there and prove your valor to me.
Megloo:
When I see an Ogre, I hide until he leaves. They like to stomp us. Why did you attack him?
Yellow Knight:
I have embarked from the Silver City on a self-appointed quest to promote goodness. Only when I have successfully championed the innocent and weak will I be a full Silver Captain. Until that day, I remain the
Yellow Knight.
Now that I have answered three questions, my ugly friend, I should deign to ask of thee: What is your name, and what dangerous quest brings you upon the Necromancer’s road?
Megloo:
I’m uh, Megloo Morkath. I’m taking these turnips to Market. I’m going to give them to the peasants.
Yellow Knight:
Give them away? Oh ho ho! My poor dear mongrel, you seem to be having a bit of trouble bearing the fruits of kindness.
Megloo:
Uh, I guess so.
Yellow Knight:
Perhaps I can help you with your burden. Will you allow me to carry your sack?
Megloo:
Gee… um… I don’t know… It’s my responsi- responsibuh- my job.
Yellow Knight:
Pleaaaase, squire Morkath. Allow me to do you such a kindness, and accompany you and your…companion… to ease your torment and promote the goodness of free turnips for all!
Megloo:
Er…
Ogre’s voice (from offstage):
Turnips?! Me want turnips! Give!
(roars)
(Megloo abruptly hands Yellow Knight the sack)
Megloo:
Here ya go!
Yellow Knight:
I am in your debt.
Gorgorum:
You know, since we’re giving those turnips away, there’s no reason the Ogre can’t have one.
Yellow Knight:
Hmmm… Perhaps you are right, O rotting companion.
(reaches into sack and calls offstage, looking up at ‘Ogre’)
Ho there! Ogre of the woods! Will you agree to a truce in exchange for a turnip, and commit no further evils upon my flesh?
Ogre(still offstage):
Hungry! Give Turnip! Me no smash you!
Yellow Knight:
Very Well. With this turnip of goodwill, I usher in a new age!
(tosses turnip offstage)
Ogre(between chewing sounds):
Mmmm! Turnip! Ohhhhhhh!
(belches)
Oh, Ogre feel weird…
Yellow Knight:
Already the feeling of joy spreads throughout the land! Come friends, Let us dally no longer. The peasants await!
(End Scene I)
“Knight of the Plague”
Scene 1
(A meadow in the forest. Megloo Morkath lies sleeping noisily. Gorgorum stands over him looking annoyed and bored. As dawn approaches, Gorgorum kicks MM awake.)
Megloo:
Oof! By the smudges, why do you torment me so?
Gorgorum:
Dawn approaches, Mongrel-man. We must make haste or fail our quest.
Megloo:
Your master must be kind indeed to give away such juicy turnips. In my village, eating a turnip was said to cure love blisters.
Gorgorum(hesitates):
Er,indeed. Master Gastagog is deeply interested in the suffering of peasants. Including you, Ugly one.
Megloo:
Thanks so much! I just wish I had my real hands, so I could carry this sack better.
Gorgorum:
Your agony will build character.
(commotion in the distance. Suddenly a blonde knight in golden armor runs on stage, apparently retreating from something. He carries a broken sword and a dented, dilapidated shield)
Yellow Knight:
You may have won this round, cruel foe, but I’ll be back! Good always triumphs over evil! (forces a laugh) Haha!
Ogre (from off stage):
Har Har! Come back any time, puny manling. I’ll mop my cave with your pretty golden locks! Ah hahahahahaha!
(Knight looks at his broken sword, and his shoulders hunch in despair. He begins to weep uncontrollably)
Megloo:
Uh… Something wrong, sir?
Yellow Knight(startled, trying to choke back tears):
No! Everything… is splendid. The sun shines down on another glorious day, another chance for me to prove my valor.
Gorgorum:
It looks as though you had your chance today.
(Knight recoils as if slapped and begins weeping again.)
Megloo:
Are you a wizard?
Yellow Knight:
No, my young squire. I am Lethos, a Warrior of Light, sworn to protect all that is good and right.
Megloo:
What happened to your sword?
Yellow Knight:
Little friend, you ask many questions, but I will answer you fair and true. I met with a most grievous foe, a creature of vile and powerful evil beyond even my powers. The hated Ogre of the Woods, who gobbles the innocent and pure.
Gorgorum:
It’s not too late. Go back there and prove your valor to me.
Megloo:
When I see an Ogre, I hide until he leaves. They like to stomp us. Why did you attack him?
Yellow Knight:
I have embarked from the Silver City on a self-appointed quest to promote goodness. Only when I have successfully championed the innocent and weak will I be a full Silver Captain. Until that day, I remain the
Yellow Knight.
Now that I have answered three questions, my ugly friend, I should deign to ask of thee: What is your name, and what dangerous quest brings you upon the Necromancer’s road?
Megloo:
I’m uh, Megloo Morkath. I’m taking these turnips to Market. I’m going to give them to the peasants.
Yellow Knight:
Give them away? Oh ho ho! My poor dear mongrel, you seem to be having a bit of trouble bearing the fruits of kindness.
Megloo:
Uh, I guess so.
Yellow Knight:
Perhaps I can help you with your burden. Will you allow me to carry your sack?
Megloo:
Gee… um… I don’t know… It’s my responsi- responsibuh- my job.
Yellow Knight:
Pleaaaase, squire Morkath. Allow me to do you such a kindness, and accompany you and your…companion… to ease your torment and promote the goodness of free turnips for all!
Megloo:
Er…
Ogre’s voice (from offstage):
Turnips?! Me want turnips! Give!
(roars)
(Megloo abruptly hands Yellow Knight the sack)
Megloo:
Here ya go!
Yellow Knight:
I am in your debt.
Gorgorum:
You know, since we’re giving those turnips away, there’s no reason the Ogre can’t have one.
Yellow Knight:
Hmmm… Perhaps you are right, O rotting companion.
(reaches into sack and calls offstage, looking up at ‘Ogre’)
Ho there! Ogre of the woods! Will you agree to a truce in exchange for a turnip, and commit no further evils upon my flesh?
Ogre(still offstage):
Hungry! Give Turnip! Me no smash you!
Yellow Knight:
Very Well. With this turnip of goodwill, I usher in a new age!
(tosses turnip offstage)
Ogre(between chewing sounds):
Mmmm! Turnip! Ohhhhhhh!
(belches)
Oh, Ogre feel weird…
Yellow Knight:
Already the feeling of joy spreads throughout the land! Come friends, Let us dally no longer. The peasants await!
(End Scene I)
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