Hello everybody, I'm sorry for the length of the post, it's just that this is somewhat of a catharsis for me.

This is a huge step for me, I've never ever before (in anonymity or with people I know) commented about my interest in this lifestyle. The thing is, that during these last years two things have happened, I've accepted this as an unavoidable part of myself, and I no longer view it as a deviation I should try to suppress (because either way I know that on the long run I cant). I hope you don't interpret this the wrong way, I believe alot of you must have passed through a very similar situation to me, being brought up in a society where I feel I'm the only one with interests in D/s and being forced into thinking there's something wrong with this scene. The thing is.. that I know it is not something fucked up that grew in me because of "society", "violence", "pornography", etc. because I've always been extremely attracted to all of this, specially bondage. When I was very young and still not interested in sexuality as such, I remember that I got a rush when I watched cartoons, and the princess/ hero/etc. was kidnapped and restrained by the bad guy.. I wanted to be the bad guy of course. In my childhood I would occasionaly play out kidnapping and bondage scenes with my toys... not of a sexual nature of course, well maybe in a very deep way that I didn't understand at the time.

My first contact with this actual scene was through the internet, in my sexual curiosity I arrived at a bondage site and (not knowing it existed) I was shocked ,in an extremely good way, that the deepest and most secret fantasies in me were not only my own, that there was a larger interest in this. But this also went terribly wrong because it was so naturally sensual and arousing to me, that I thought it was a generalized fantasy.. so when I went ahead and told a friend of mine of this great discovery, his reaction was "what? this is what you meant? that's fucked up" so from there on I've kept it a secret.

I really want to get involved in all of this, because I know that I won't be truly satisfied if I never explore this side of myself, that is actually a very big part of who I am, and I've never been able to share with anyone.. can you imagine the desperation?

About myself.. well I'm a guy, heterosexual, and with a very strong tendency towards dominance and bondage (not that I've ever actually performed either or know how to). I'm the cliché of the "straight A", serious and innocent looking guy, it would be a huge shock to anyone I know if the knew that I was into all of this. So that's my story, I hope that through this first step you can help me to slowly introduce myself into this lifestlye. Just thinking about being able to discuss this with others is a huge relief... I hope one day soon, I'm confident enough to make it an active part of my life.

Agram H.