New to BDSM (Uncensored)'s topics - tribe.net

San Fran Exotic Erotic Expo - help wanted.....

RoberttheHair — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 04:33:19 GMT

I'll be vending the expo this year with My leather booth and might need extra help.
Prefer attractive females that AREN'T total bimbos.

Compensation varies on experience and availability.

please reply with pics and alt lifestyle experience history

~Robert
www.leathermystics.com

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Ohio

fun-key_productions — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:56:08 GMT

Where is the kink in Ohio, any one know?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 3 replies

Kinky reads

cynthiasays — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 06:16:03 GMT

So, I've been reading some great books lately, but I've also noticed how some of the best books aren't things I would EVER classify as kinky. Maybe self help, spirituality, even business management, but definitely NOT kinky.... and yet.

What books are you devouring right now? Kinky or kink-related.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 4 replies

Article about Kink.com

dellaena — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 02:46:23 GMT

http://digg.com/business_finance/Kink_dreams

DIGG IT!

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 2 replies

Searching for play partners

David H. — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 22:38:45 GMT

I've yet to find a tribe-based space that amounts to a dating/personals posting area specific to searching for bdsm/kink play partners. Don't know if it's appropriate here either. My experience in dungeons is that most people arrive at parties with someone rather than seek out (and negotiate with) new people on-the-spot.

So, looking for someone to play with seems to work best before going to the party. Munches may help (I intend to go to those again), but maybe we can work it here, too. I'm not exactly new to the scene but I've had a hard time meeting people available for play... Whaddya think?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 14 replies

Master seeks submissive female.

Subowner — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 11:42:48 GMT

Training, discipline and punishments. Seek obedience, loyalty and full compliance.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 1 reply

Algolagnia

cynthiasays — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 09:22:28 GMT

When the word find of the day is uber-kinky, it is indeed a good day. Why have I never heard this word in the dungeon? Well, in the upstairs part, at least.

algolagnia: form of sexual perversion in which the infliction or the experiencing of pain increases the pleasure of the sexual act or causes sexual pleasure independent of the act; includes both sadism (active algolagnia) and masochism (passive algolagnia).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Algolagnia

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 6 replies

What about Mommy-little boy?

annann — Thu, 03 May 2007 16:41:35 GMT

Why is Daddy-little girl ok but I don't hear anyone talk about Mommy-little boy play?

Even some lesbians call themselves "Daddy".

I assume there is less desire for this type of play or more of it would be happening.

I wasn't interested but i met a very nice young man who wants to do this because I resemble his mother who he finds to be attractive and sexy.

I asked him about his history with his Mom. He does like older women.

He wants to call me Mom. He did ask me if I had kids before telling me this and I do not.

I'm curious what the more experienced players have to say about Mommy play.

Thanks,

Ann

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 41 replies

looking for a group

David — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:17:07 GMT

i have a friend looking for a group around San Jose, CA if anyone knows of one i would appreciate it and so would my friend.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 3 replies

Yet another newbie...

Alanna — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 04:44:15 GMT

Hello all. I am yet another shiny newbie, waiting with baited breath to learn more about this thing called kink. I have been aware of kink for some time now, but only recently felt like it should be part of my life. This realization came from opening myself up to someone who has become very important to me. She helped me realize that part of why I inflict pain is that I enjoy it. I made further realizations about myself when someone else re-entered my life and was willing to let me do even more to him. These two are willing to give me the gift of their submission. I wish to be worthy of that gift. Thus I turn to this place, hoping that I can gain a basic understanding so that I may ask the right questions to lead me further on this path.

Thank you for taking the time to usher in those of us who have not yet made our way all the way down this rabbit hole to see where it leads.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 6 replies

New to the scene

David — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:38:00 GMT

just wanted to stop and say hi to everyone. my wife and i are new to the scene. we would consider ourselves as switches.

i am actually going to start creating our dungeon furniture soon and will post some pics of completed projects.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 3 replies

New BDSM group in Columbia Missouri

Scorch — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:50:57 GMT

Just wanted to announce that there is a new BDSM group in Columbia Missouri called Pandora's Rose. The website is www.pandorasrose.com.

Scorch

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 3 replies

Two Weeks Until "The Headbangers Ball"!!!

Master Erik — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:14:33 GMT

SF Citadel presents "The Headbangers Ball",
Themed Open Play Party
Hosted by Master Erik

SF Citadel
1277 Mission Street; San Francisco, CA
415-626-1746
www.sfcitadel.org
Saturday, Sept. 6, 2008
8pm - 1am

Admission $25

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK...WE SALUTE YOU!!

Join the party people at SF Citadel as we pay tribute to the days when rock-n-roll superstars dominated music videos, concert tours, and many of our fashion styles from the 70's and 80's. The dress theme? Come "rockered out"--be a red-hot rebel rocker, a sexy groping groupie, a randy roadie, a perverted punk rocker, nasty band manager, the ultimate arena band fan, or flashy record producer in your leather, studs, spandex, scarves, short skirts, lots of makeup...and let's not forget BIG ROCKER HAIR!!! Your sexiest fetish attire will also work just fine (after all, rockers love leather, right?). Prizes awarded for best Male & Female Costume. This is an Open Play Party, so everyone's invited to join the fun.

Your VIP Backstage Pass at the front door allows you to indulge your tastebuds on metalhead munchies and watch music videos on the big screen in the Rocker's Lounge, while DJ Mystic Moods mixes rock classics from the 70's-80's with today's dungeon sounds. Wanna really show you got what it takes to go platinum? Step up to the mic and be a contestant in the AIR GUITAR CONTEST for some fabulous prizes!! Keep a tuned ear open for ROCK TRIVIAL PURSUIT questions throughout the night to increase your winnings! PLUS..SPECIAL ENTERTAINMENT!!

Then, if you really want to "pump up the volume", come on downstairs to the dungeon and "earn your autographs", where 2000+ square feet of kinkster's paradise awaits you. We provide the ambiance, you provide the energy!

Be a "front-row seat Volunteer" and get free admission. Email to sfcitadelvolunteers@gmail.com

COME ON FEEL THE NOIZE...& GET WILD-WILD-WILD!!

**PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CROSSPOST**

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Kink-e-Zine for August has launched!

Master Erik — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:34:45 GMT

Once again, we've won the battle of server issues, & are proud to
announce August's issue has launched!

Here's a sneak peek at what's in store for you:

* Elusive Grace sits down with Loki
* Maestro Stefanos' steps up to the Mic with Electronica band Cuir Bleu
* "The Rawhide Kid: Changing the Face Of Comic Books"
* Vitamin A discusses Penile / Testicular Fractures (ouch!)
* Monthly installments of Blog Alley, Kink in the City, Ask Me
Anything, & The Edge

AND MUCH MORE!

Kink-e-Zine encourages works from the community locally & nationwide.
If you have a flair for writing informative articles, artwork,
photography/modeling, fiction/erotica, or humour, then we'd love to
feature your works in an upcoming issue. As always, we're also seeking
new ideas, new Staff members, & people involved in the West, Midwest,
Northeast, & Southeast Regions to assist us in more extensive,
accurate regional coverage.

Got an event, organization or business you'd like to promote? Inquire
about our economical advertising rates for maximum coverage nationwide
to thousands of readers a month!

** FEEL FREE TO CROSS-POST ***

Master Erik, Publisher

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Iron Dom Contest this Saturday at the Citadel

domina — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 19:50:45 GMT

Do they Have What It Takes?

Suppose a top was stranded on a
desert island with only the flotsam and jetsam that washed ashore with
him. After he takes care of his basic necessities, he fills his
time making toys...and we know what kind of toys!!

Eventually, someone else washes ashore and lo and behold, that person is a
BOTTOM!!! After great rejoicing and throwing a party in the new
companion's honor, of course, they play. But wait!!! What if that
person who washed ashore was of the incorrect gender or orientation?
Does the top have what it takes to make it work anyway?

This is what we will find out in this contest to determine 2008's Iron
Dom!

Here's the deal: After the tops make the toys... they will have to
perform the hottest and most creative 5 minute scene with their bottom
in front of both audiences and judges. Oh yes... and did I mention
that the tops and bottoms will be matched together by the luck of the
draw... and only have a few minutes to set their scene up before
coming out to entertain the audience?

Only those who have attended past Iron Dom contests understand how
much fun this is and how much creativity goes into the making of the
toys. This really is a must see.

This is great fun for everyone, both participants and spectators.
Come by and watch the contestants make their toys out of various
things Domina, the famous Frugal Dom, choses. Visit with your
friends. Stay for lunch and have one of Domina's Justly Famous Sloppy
Joes (Endorsed by the President of Odyssey Himself.)

We are honored to tell you that Citadel is allowing ALL PROCEEDS of
this event to go to FOOD FOR THOUGHT, the Sonoma County Aids Food Bank
where Domina Volunteers. And if you're smart, you'll stay for the
usual Saturday Night Party at the Citadel.

August 2, 2008
Contest and Lunch: $25
Contest only :$20
Door at 2:30.

Contestants will make their toys from 2:30 until 4:30. The Contest
will start at 5:00.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Giving permission to your slave to have sex with others...

tulip — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 01:28:17 GMT

For those who have sex with their slaves: Do you allow your slaves to flirt and/or have sex with others? In real life or online? Does jealousy make it easier to torture them?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 14 replies

What Play Piercing Tops Look For

Azazeal — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 17:32:51 GMT

Good morning,
I'm definitely a play piercing bottom looking for tops to play with. I'm curious. For the play piercing tops that are out there, what is it that you are drawn to in a play partner? Are there things that a play piercing bottoms can do to attract your attention? Does wearing a purple hankie in the right pocket help?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 5 replies

is it shared energy?

Cheif D — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:29:37 GMT

question:I find that although I can get some pretty hot sessions going solo (using fantasy as opposed to real time to drive my passion), partnering always seems to make for longer, more intense sex. why is this? if the primary sex organ is our brains then what's the deal with needing another person to validate the fact that one is having a hot sexual experience?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 5 replies

Bastinado

cynthiasays — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 01:58:56 GMT

I have experienced bastinado, having the bottoms of my feet caned, in a scene. Utterly painful, almost unbearable and completely hot.

The problem is, I just can't get any straight information on where is safe to be hit and and what the "best practices" are when it comes to bastinado. Which leads me to wondering if we are doing something that is going to cause some issues down the line. I've read and heard that bastinado can cause damage to both blood vessels and nerves in the feet. The last thing I want is some long term nerve damage. But I gather that hitting the ball of the foot or heel could also come close to the small bones that could easily break like those in the toes, while avoiding that tender part by the arch with the highest concentration of nerves. So where is safest?

What is your experience? Have you ever seen nerve damage from bastinado, and/or has anyone ever asked a podiatrist? How do you practice bastinado?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 5 replies

the "sleep" syndrome

Cheif D — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 03:31:37 GMT

question:usually it's us guys who classically drop off to sleep after "the deed" is done. i contend that you women want the same thing, you just need to "give yourselves permission,"-with a little cuddling prior to sleep. am i wrong?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 13 replies

Hemophagia

Me — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 08:37:41 GMT

I apologize for cross posting this, but I'm looking for any perspective I can get.

I believe that I have a blood fetish, but mine centers on actually consuming blood and has very intense emotional undercurrents as well as sexual ones. I would say that I have Renfield's Syndrome, except I am under no delusion that I need blood for my health. It's a compulsion, and one that I have, for the most part, successfully resisted over the years. I've never sought out people to experience this with as I'm not interested in participating in such an intensely emotional act with people who are not emotionally close to me, and I'm terrified of telling people I am emotionally close to that I have a fetish/psychosis most often associated with serial killers and delusionals.

So, does anybody here know anything about this sort of thing? Any thoughts on where it comes from or how to deal with it? Am I a freak among freaks or is this something that other people practice healthily?

I am currently faced with a partner who keeps asking distressingly perceptive questions and the more I evade them the more curious he becomes. I need to get my head wrapped around this and figure out how I feel about it myself before I can even think about talking to him about it!

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 10 replies

Rape play . . . suggestions?

AnathemaD — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 06:03:21 GMT

So, my boyfriend and I are interested in exploring this. We're experimented a bit--once really on the fly, where I just decided to fight him and pretend I didn’t want it, and it was really hot. The second time, we did a lot more planning, setting up a basic scenario and script. Again, it was super hot, but I'm curious about other peoples' experiences, resources (yes, I know Mike west teaches a class, and we're very keen to take it, but it's not on his near-future schedule, so . . .)

The aftercare and processing I'm not so worried about, because we have that pretty well down. My questions are . . .

Obviously, I'm enjoying it. So, how do I convincingly pretend not to? Do we come up with things he can do that I actually don't like, so I can more convincingly dislike the scenario?

Do people tend to have set scripts, or do I sort of freestye? If the latter, how do you most efectively escalete the violence? If the former, how do you keep it from being like bad porno?

Any top tips and hints? We have a very loving, communicative relationship so I'm really not worried about miscommunication or things getting out of control. It’s just more about how to make it as nasty as possible . . .

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 11 replies

Surgeons cut 16 washers from penis

Alan — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 21:51:17 GMT

Surgeons cut 16 washers from penis. Quote FTA: "The man may well have thought long and hard about placing himself in the difficult situation":

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23791992-5001021,00.html

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 2 replies

Seattle Sub

Jonathan — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 16:22:13 GMT

Hello. I'm a new member and am wondering where to begin with my submissive curiousities in the Seattle.
Any newly dominant women in the area?
Thank you.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 1 reply

A Whole New World

Paul — Sun, 25 May 2008 00:39:26 GMT

Hello all.
I am just stepping into the world of BDSM. My and my SO are interested most in D/s play. She is the sub and I am the DOm. I have done a bit of research online, but I am still not sure if I am finding what I am looking for as I tend to miss fine print in front of my eyes. I am wanting to make sure that I am not going to put her in pain, and I understand that only she can tell me what is too much. We are looking for this to go further. I have Dom tendencies, but I am also a very caring person. I am also somewhat of a perfectionist. No I know that I am not going to get it right the first time. But I want to make sure that we both have a good time.

Whit that being said. I am simply looking for good sound advice on what can be too much to handle at first and what is a good way for two people to start off in this type of play.
Any information is welcome.

Thanks
.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 28 replies

A review of "Men's Erotic Dominance Intensive Weekend with Cléo Dubois, Eve Minax, and Selina Raven - May 2008"

les — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 18:04:18 GMT

www.sm-arts.com

An indescribably powerful experience. I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to touch the real magic of BDSM.

I had the great fortune to participate in this intensive a few weeks ago and would like to share a bit with the community.

The course started when I started filling out the application. It's followed by a phone interview with Madame Cléo. During the interview, she mentioned a few books that would be helpful to have read before coming to the intensive. The New Topping Book by Easton & Hardy and Consensual Sadomasochism by Henkin & Holiday. Sybil Holiday helped Cléo create this course. I found both very helpful. (Though it was a bit strange to be reading Consensual Sadomasochism at the Airport when a nun dressed in a white habit sat down next to me for a while :)

The course started Friday evening with everyone, the instructors, the volunteers, the participants and their partners getting together to meet and find out about each other. This also served as the start of finding a partner for the play party if you don't have one. The volunteers had all taken the women's course and were described as "Full Power Bottoms". And they were, giving clear feedback when appropriate. After a while, many of the volunteers left, and we started the class with the initial lecture, meditations, handing out of the workbook (over 100 pages of very clear and concise material to help you remember and expand on the course) and a small bit of homework. The evening focused on Who are you? What is your dominance style? What qualities do you have? And do they seem to cluster?

The first day we gather at the Citadel in San Francisco. One could view the outline for the day as developing the skills in the same order that is necessary for play. The training started with our attribute clusters and progressed to Archetypes, based loosely on the work of Carolyn Myss-Sacred Contracts, and how it can be applied to play. We then did a meditation to connect with our energy, the energy of the group and to bring it present. We then did several trust building and connection exercises that helped us not just instill trust in our partners, but in ourselves as givers of sensation, and reading our partners needs / limits.

Lecture on Negotiation: Followed by negotiation with three volunteers, one of which became my play partner for Sunday evening. An interesting feedback point I was given is it's important to always bring up sex, even if your not expecting/desiring it, because your partner may be expecting it.

Then it was on to technical skills (it's all skills, but I needed a word), this was a bit like a three ring circus, flogging, spanking, and caning. I spent my time on Flogging. Focusing on a lighter approach than I had been taught elsewhere. Using my wrist, rather than my shoulder. Of course, once someone's warmed up, the power from the shoulder becomes useful. One thing became clear, that even if you know a bit about using these tools, there is so much more one can learn. Dragging a flogger after a strike, multiple strikes in a single stroke w/ a cane, missing, anticipation, Kodo vs. Baba Olatunji rhythms, and more.

A lecture on topping / Scene dynamics followed by a Scene demo, Cléo and Elmo (one of the volunteers) did a very compressed scene in about an hour; no amount of description could possibly do it justice. It was fun, intense, sexy, spontaneous, and amazing. It was interesting talking with one of the other participants who had never seen that much sensation given before.

The day ended with a discussion and a bit more homework.

The second day was 12 hours long, fun and intense. Mostly focused on Ds.

Lecture on Ds & Collaring. Collaring exercise and exercises giving commands. Lots of fun yet serious with plenty of feedback.

Lecture on Archetype play, Humiliation games, age & animal play.

Archetype play, I did Age Play with Cléo. Found that my age play was too based in psycho drama, by going lateral to real life, it's quite possible to make the scenes a lot more fun, lively, and at the same time a bit safer.

JD of the Knotty Boys came by after lunch to teach ropes. If you haven't seen their work, check out their videos on YouTube or http://www.roperigger.com/code/videos also check out their books. Lots of fun and very high energy. Cléo told me that if he's in town he will come and teach.

Blindfolds, hoods and a meditation. An example of how reducing one or more senses increases the others. All I can say is that I had a very interesting and personal journey.

Genitorture demo – Minax & Elmo showed us how to use various toys safely. It was very intense and sadly too short.

Learning to pierce- Two of us opted to learn how to do play piercing. All I can say is that I'm very glad I did.

The Ritual-Quite an eye opener, a perfect prequel to the play party. Really must be experienced to be understood.

Play Party-I was quite fortunate to have found a partner for the play party. I was told it doesn't always happen. We did (what to me was) an intense sensation scene. A flogging followed by a caning over a 2+ hour time frame. My partner was more confident in my skills than I was and brought me both a heavy and braded floggers. Selina helped me get started with the flogging and Cléo helped me keep the caning from getting boring. I was able to go places that it might have taken me years to get the courage to try at the intensity I did. Wow!

All in all, I can't recommend the intensive highly enough. I'm still finding things that are opening and changing in my life as a direct result of my participation.

The next intensives are scheduled below:

Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Women & Women Who Switch
July 19-20, 2008 in San Francisco
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9!
Gain the confidence you need to make your scenes soar!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/women.html
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-women.html

Erotic Dominance Intensive, Professionals’ course
August 15-17, 2008 in San Francisco
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9
The techniques, fetishes and business of Professional Dominance
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
http://www.sm-arts.com/intensives/pros.html
http://www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-pros.html

Erotic Dominance Weekend Intensive for Dominant Men & Men Who Switch
October 4-5, 2008 in San Francisco
Hands on Training! Class limited to 9
Dominate with presence and passion!
Teachers: Cleo Dubois and Eve Minax, with the assistance of Selina Raven
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/men.html
www.sm-arts.com/intensives/form-men.html

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 1 reply

Silly

Sprout — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 06:38:53 GMT

So, I've been watching 9 1/2 Weeks recently........
And it occurs to me that that would have been a GREAT relationship with a bit of NEGOTIATION..........
All the parts are hot, she just didn't KNOW she was becoming a sub.......dur.

That's all.
Discuss. Or not.........

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 7 replies

Kink-e-Zine's Special Pride Month Edition has just launched!!

Master Erik — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 20:54:26 GMT

Kink-e-Zine honours National Pride Month with a SPECIAL EDITION, packed with informative, exciting information---this is our biggest issue yet!

A peek at what’s inside this month:

* Kink-e-Zine Staff share their perspectives on the Supreme Court ruling allowing same-sex marriages
* “Gay Pride: A Turbulent Past, A Colorful Present, A Promising Future”
* The History of San Francisco’s Castro District
* “Gay & Lesbian Culture Through the 20th Century and Beyond”
* “Coming Out: Making your Private Sexuality a Public Fact”
* Jorge Vieto Shows How To Make a Rope Single Tail
* Master Erik’s Interview with Cleo Dubois and fakir Musafar
* Maestro Stefanos talks about Negotiation
* “BDSM & Pregnancy” with Chey
* Monthly installments of “Kink In The City”, “Ask Me Anything”, “The Leather Blog”, “The Edge” and much more including coverage of Pride Celebrations for San Francisco & across the nation!

http://www.kink-e-zine.com

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CROSS POST THIS ANNOUNCEMENT

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Tonight is the night!

Lark — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:21:02 GMT

Tonight, at the Citadel, there is a awesome class that will be great for beginners and more experienced players alike. If you are a Sadist, or a masochist, this class will be packed with useful info about how to manage, transcend and channel pain. It will teach a variety of skills for making scenes deeper, address common road blocks and how to overcome them, AND it will have time for you to practice these skills!Below is the blurb:

"Pain and Catharsis"
SF Citadel
1277 Mission Street
Tuesday June 3rd
Class from 8-10PM, Doors opening at 7:30

Would you like to take your masochism to the next
level? Do you wish to have less fear and more
catharsis in your scenes? This class focuses on
exploring and developing ways of channeling
energy/pain, as well as learning to experience
catharsis with authenticity. Each participant will
have the opportunity to try multiple methods for
processing "pain," as well as gain an understanding
of the advantages, disadvantages and potential uses of
these ways of processing sensation in their play. The
class is geared towards
masochists, but sadists and other orientations are
welcome to attend.

Mistress Lark graduated from Humboldt State University with
A Bachelors Degree in Sexual Arts, focusing on the
intersections of Tantra and BDSM. She is a Graduate
of the Journeyman III Academy of California with
advanced training in Leather history, traditions,
spirituality and practice. She has taught in both the
kink and non kink community for years and is happy
to be teaching at the SF Citadel.

Keri has been in the scene for over eight years and is
a cadet at the Journeyman III Academy, class of 2008.
Her column, "Kink in the City" can be read in the
monthly on-line magazine, kink-e-zine.com. Through
BDSM, she has discovered her own power and
strength. She identifies as a slave who is not a
beginner's model.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

transitioning from vanilla to D/s relationship

Brenda — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 21:20:06 GMT

Im new to the BDSM community, but not BDSM, and I was wondering if anyone else out there has had a similar experience they are willing to talk about. All of my life I have had vanilla relationships, very typical and traditional at that. But I have also always liked kinky and rough sexual play, including blood play, actually I have been into alot of things that have fallen into the BDSM category if you will but I never ackowledged it as such. Well now I find myself in a fulltime D/S relationship with a wonderful Lord who I love and worship dearly, but I feel a bit lost, and scared. A D/S relationship is much different than a vanilla one, so I find myself in an unknown zone. Im embracing the D/S lifestyle but it is new to me, there are differnt dynamics, and differnt PE. There are so many things about the D/S lifestyle that I love, such as the communication, the honor, the trust I have in my Lord, not to mention the edge that I adore to embrace. Yet I feel lost in my relationship style. Has any one else went through this or something similar, feedback would be awsome

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 1 reply

Awesome class for Masochists on Tuesday!

Lark — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 05:31:00 GMT

"Pain and Catharsis"
SF Citadel
1277 Mission Street
Tuesday June 3rd
Class from 8-10PM, Doors opening at 7:30

Would you like to take your masochism to the next
level? Do you wish to have less fear and more
catharsis in your scenes? This class focuses on
exploring and developing ways of channeling
energy/pain, as well as learning to experience
catharsis with authenticity. Each participant will
have the opportunity to try multiple methods for
processing "pain," as well as gain an understanding
of the advantages, disadvantages and potential uses of
these ways of processing sensation in their play. The
class is geared towards
masochists, but sadists and other orientations are
welcome to attend.

Mistress Lark graduated from Humboldt State University with
A Bachelors Degree in Sexual Arts, focusing on the
intersections of Tantra and BDSM. She is a Graduate
of the Journeyman III Academy of California with
advanced training in Leather history, traditions,
spirituality and practice. She has taught in both the
kink and non kink community for years and is happy
to be teaching at the SF Citadel.

Keri has been in the scene for over eight years and is
a cadet at the Journeyman III Academy, class of 2008.
Her column, "Kink in the City" can be read in the
monthly on-line magazine, kink-e-zine.com. Through
BDSM, she has discovered her own power and
strength. She identifies as a slave who is not a
beginner's model.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Thank you all but now I'm on my own

Culham — Tue, 27 May 2008 06:15:03 GMT

Thank you all for responding to my previous post. You all gave some great advice but it won't do much to help in this case anymore. She is to afraid of us ending to start anything with me. I still would like to learn form someone first hand but don't know anyone in my area to learn with or from.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 2 replies

Newbie

Sprout — Sun, 18 May 2008 06:17:53 GMT

Hello everyone!
I'm a newbie Sub.
I'm actually posting to find the best place to find My Dom.......I live in a small-ish town (college).
I thought I'd announce myself as a newbie.
I'm looking for some other subs to help me and some doms to guide me............

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 11 replies

Newbie Dom (please help)

Culham — Wed, 21 May 2008 07:21:19 GMT

Hi,

My name is Culham, I'm 18 and have always been excited and interested by BDSM. Up until now I have never had a girl friend or sex partner that was into more than just "starfishing" for lack of a better term. They never wanted to experiment or try new things so I was left wanting. I don't know where to start but I know I want to learn more.

my mai reason for picking to learn now more than ever is the one of my new friends and I started to get to know one an other and have really fallen for each other. She is really into BDSM and wants to get into it more. The problem is she thought I wasn't into BDSM because I never have had any experience and was thinking she'd have to pick between me or it. She hasn't got much experience either and has been looking for an "in" to learn to be a sub for some time. One of her friends has offered to show her the ropes but she feels if she was with me, even with my consent, if anything happened she'd feel guilty of cheating on me or betraying me. We asked her friend if he could couch/teach us both, as per her idea, or would feel comfortable trying to but he said he could not for whatever reason.

I wish to learn more and to be a more confident Dom, for her and for me. It is a win, win for her and I because she'd get me and her Dom in one and I'd get to learn to be a Dom as I have wanted and get to be with and make her happy. I have some experience in tying someone up and be the dominant one but none in the way of toys, paddles, or whips. I am very open about sexuality and am willing to do what it takes to reach my goals. Please, any advice or help you can give would be greatly appreciated.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 11 replies

How to deal with pain and use Catharsis

Lark — Sat, 24 May 2008 06:57:54 GMT

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 1 reply

Non piercing nipple rings

Elusive Grace — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 15:51:49 GMT

Does anyone know how well those non pierced nipple rings work? Do they stay on, or would I end up messing with them all night? If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's a link to an ebay seller that has two kinds...the ones that pinch, and the ones that have a slider, kind of like that thingy on the end of sunglass holders, only thinner.

http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZventura93004

Help me out? I could just buy 'em and see, but I hate to waste the money on something that's going to prove to be more of a distraction than a decoration. Well...a distraction to me. *smile* I don't mind if they distract others.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 11 replies

The Power Exchange & Citadel Featured in Magazine Article

GARi — Tue, 13 May 2008 06:26:34 GMT

(Reminder SMACK DINNER next Tuesday evening May 14th 7:30pm, Peter's Cafe, Millbrae,
California.)

I just came across this Magazine article on the Powere Exchange and am passing it
on to the curious...

http://xpress.sfsu.edu/archives/magazine/010605.html

Beneath the stairs of the first floor, surrounded by dark hallways and dimly-lit
rooms, a group of men, women, and transsexuals prepare in the fenced dungeon that
makes up the bottom floor. They pull erotic toys out of their luggage—whips, dildos,
chains, and much more—while women peel off their street clothes in front of the
group. Minutes later, men wearing leather gear use floggers, a form of rubber whips,
to strike the bare backs of three nude women, two of whom are strapped to an x-shaped
plank. They squeal and moan in a simultaneous feeling of anguish and gratification.

Not every person in this vault-like room with flames painted on the walls is participating
in the play area designed for torturous pleasure. Some sit and watch while others
await a willing partner for themselves. Voyeurs stand behind the fence watching
in arousal, indulging the participants.

“Some men just stand there and masturbate while watching, and to me, that is a form
of applause,” explains Robin, a transvestite and cross-dressing bisexual. Wearing
a dirty blonde wig and crimson colored paint on her slender lips, Robin saunters
in and around the crowd, making sure that her friends aren’t bothered by unwanted
strangers or men trying to get a freebie—they typically play with the people they
come with. Amidst the security of her friends, she flirts with a potential participant.
Minutes later, the man is plastered on the plank, his wrists in chains while Robin
gives him oral sex. A group of men in their fifties and sixties sits on a nearby
couch, relaxing and smiling at the lascivious demonstration.

They are the first patrons of the night, arriving at the door of the Power Exchange
Sex Club, a place where people engage in uninhibited fornication with consenting
members. It’s a place where people can come to role-play, dress in kinky clothing,
amuse themselves with eccentric toys, have non-conformist sex such as BDSM (bondage
and submission dominance and sadomasochism), or just observe. The Power Exchange
is one of the biggest, and first legal, sex clubs on the West Coast. Because the
club is highly secure and open to a variety of sexual practices, it is a haven for
the exhibitionist and definitely doesn’t accommodate conservatives who prefer intercourse
behind closed doors.

This is an essential Thursday night of pleasure for a group of twenty or so friends
and acquaintances who meet for their monthly gathering to play in erotic pleasures
after a night of dining. They avoid discussing their lives at home or their occupations;
their goal is simply to get together and have a night of fun, explains GARi “G-Shot,”
the initiator of this routine of munching and playing. The medium-built man wearing
all black elaborates on his idea of getting a group of sexually eager individuals
together by making an agreement with Mike Powers, the owner and founder of the club.

This particular crowd welcomes a diverse range of people who are nondiscriminatory
and accepting to all sexual orientations and all forms of play. BDSM, one of the
more popular activities, utilizes both dominant and submissive practices. The dominant
party usually takes control while the submissive appears helpless and endures painful
whippings and penetrations.

There are no limits with toys and play, as long as the members are consenting. It
is safe to say that nothing is astounding to people that frequent the club. Aaron
Ericson, manager of the Power Exchange, recalls an event from one of the Fetish
Balls—a themed monthly venue at the club that attracts a massive crowd and has been
deemed the busiest night of the month. During a particular Fetish Ball evening,
a lesbian couple joined a kinky-couple’s contest: “The girlfriend stuck her fist
up her girlfriend’s vagina thirty-six times,” Ericson laughs.

Power Exchange is a family-run operation and opened its doors in 1995 after the
legal debate of gay sex clubs and unsafe sex practices spurred in the 1980s. Michael
Powers, former mayoral candidate of SF and the founder of the club, relocated it
in 1998 from a smaller location on Harrison Street to the more spacious Otis Street
building. Visitors of the club must come inside with an open mind and a mature demeanor.
Even though the club is extremely liberal toward sexual desires and preferences,
it still adheres to a strict set of rules, and all drugs and alcohol are prohibited
inside.

“Respecting the visitors of the club is highly emphasized,” says Ericson. “We don’t
tolerate immature behavior.” The tattooed manager with a ring hugging his nose explains
that this business is just like any retail business and that customer satisfaction
is vital to keeping the club up and running. The friendly Ericson ensures the safety
of his guests, greets customers, and exchanges smiles and words with regulars. “Safe
sex and sanitation is very important,” Ericson says, pointing out the numerous baskets
of condoms, paper towels, gloves, and hand-sanitizers available in every room.

Joe Weigand, a sixty-three-year-old dominant, makes sure he does an extensive cleaning
after a scene in which he causes his submissive partner to have an orgasm with a
stainless steel dildo-like instrument, splashing vaginal fluids on the floor. With
latex gloves and sanitizing spray, he wipes the ground with paper towels when his
partner and he have finished.

Weigand is part of the closely-knit BDSM scene, which includes The Citadel, a BDSM
club that opened in 2003, and the Society of Janus, a non-profit organization created
in 1974. He is a volunteer at both the Citadel and SOJ and recalls being intrigued
by BDSM at the young age of twelve. “I had fantasies of tying up little girls and
had always had sick thoughts.” He adds that sex was oppressed in the fifties and
sixties and it wasn’t until the seventies that he met people from the underground
sex scene who were into kinkiness like he was. He used to be a frequent visitor
of the Power Exchange and attended by himself, but he admits now that he only comes
with a group about once a month.

Three floors dwell in this forty-thousand square foot building resting on the corner
of Otis and Mission Street. A neon green sign welcomes people passing by. The rooms
are plentiful and exude an artistic theme of vibrant colors visible through the
dim fluorescent lighting. The Egyptian, Gothic, and Medieval-inspired rooms are
just a few of the options for partners there to engage in erogenous fantasies. The
room in the center of the building is called the Mixed Club, welcoming heterosexuals,
lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender men and women. If the door to one of
the many rooms is open, a couple or sex partners are inviting others in. If the
door is closed, the room is off limits, but voyeurs are still welcome to watch.
A stroll through the labyrinthine hallways of this club offers a deluge of sights
for the sex-crazed or curious, including everything from screens displaying pornographic
videos to couches, beds, sex machines, and gadgets.

For the eighteen-and-over crowd that is comfortable with their sexuality or simply
wants to experience something new, Power Exchange provides a unique experience.
This can be a safe places to explore, because protection is emphasized and security
guards monitor all activities closely and incessantly, assuring that everyone is
adhering to the regulations of using protection and behaving properly. The club’s
rule reads in bold print, “Come on me, not in me.” The club can be a place for the
overtly sensual or for people seeking to play in an open space with a group that
embraces alternative forms of sexuality. This is the venue for the inquisitive or
the exhibitionist, to quench a fantasy or a fetish, or simply for those desiring
to come and play until the crack of dawn

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

What is a pain pig?

cynthiasays — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:02:39 GMT

I saw an upcoming class for Society of Janus, and it got me interested. I have only one time before heard this expression "pig." What is this pain pig? Is it different from a pain slut?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 38 replies

Kink-e-Zine Staff Positions Now OPEN!

Master Erik — Wed, 07 May 2008 23:29:53 GMT

LGBT Talk Columnist

“LGBT Talk” covers news, events, and articles pertinent to the LGBT communities of the San Francisco Bay Area and abroad. As an LGBT Talk Columnist, you bring the flavour of the community to Kink-e-Zine readers on a monthly basis. This position requires great writing skills with special attention to grammar and minimal error, the ability to make deadlines and maintain contact with other Staff members, and in some instances, the ability to conduct live interviews and transfer verbal information to text information effectively without losing character. It’d be beneficial to have LGBT Talk Columnists actively involved in the LGBT BDSM/Kink/Leather/Fetish communities.

Position reports to the LGBT Talk Editor and Chief Editor

Please submit a sample of your writing skills along with a brief outline of your experience for consideration to publisher@kink-e-zine.com

Deadline for position: 5/28/08

Style Columnist

“Style” covers all that is style in the BDSM/Kink/Leather/Fetish communities. Goth/Kink dance clubs and parties, TNG events and workshops, clothing/fashion, music--basically you are the “IN person” of Kink-e-Zine; the one who knows what’s hot & what’s not in the San Francisco Bay Area scene and gives the reviews! This position requires great descriptive writing skills with special attention to grammar and minimal error, the ability to make deadlines and maintain contact with other Staff members, and in some instances, the ability to conduct live interviews and transfer verbal information to text information effectively without losing character. It’d be beneficial to have Style Columnists actively involved in the BDSM/Kink/Leather/Fetish communities, especially club venues.

Position reports to the Style Editor and Chief Editor

Please submit a sample of your writing skills along with a brief outline of your experience for consideration to publisher@kink-e-zine.com

Deadline for position: 5/28/08

Advertising / Marketing Consultant

The Advertising / Marketing Consultant is by far one of the most important positions of Kink-e-Zine, for it is this position that promotes the publication and generates interest in paid advertising from businesses, organizations and event coordinators. The ideal person has an unlimited territory to work with to produce positive results, and has no qualms about closing deals and oppourtunities for the betterment of Kink-e-Zine. Effective communication skills, a background in Advertising / Marketing / Sales / Public Relations is preferred, as well as excellent record-keeping skills, and the ability to make deadlines and maintain contact with other Staff members as needed. At the present time, this will be the only paid Kink-e-Zine Staff position, with compensation paid on a commission basis from advertising sales.

Position reports to the Publisher

Please submit a brief outline of your experience for consideration
to publisher@kink-e-zine.com

Deadline for position: 5/28/08

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Lost at IMsL: Leather Cuff

Chris — Mon, 05 May 2008 01:01:54 GMT

Lost at IMsL women's-only play space downstairs Saturday night: black leather cuff with silver snaps, silver letter 'm' on the inside (possibly very faint). Lost between 8 pm and 11:30 pm, on the far side of the dungeon near the two bondage tables/medical play area. Very large sentimental value. Reward offered.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 1 reply

Learn about processing pain and Catharsis

Lark — Sun, 04 May 2008 17:13:26 GMT

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Kink-e-Zine for May has launched!

Master Erik — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:28:45 GMT

Have you looked outside? Spring is officially here outside indeed, & Kink-e-Zine has just what you need to heat up your kinky computer time inside!

This month’s issue includes:

*10 Hottest Spots for Hot Outdoor Sex In the SF Bay Area
*Elusive Grace Interviews the Two Knotty Boys
*Jay Wiseman talks about EMS Backboards & Suspension Bondage
*Chey Talks About Cutting: Some Medical Advice Before You Slice
*Latest installments of “Kink In the City“, “Ask Me Anything“, “Blog Alley“, and Regional BDSM News from across the US!

And much more!

Kink-e-Zine strives to be THE BDSM publication for the entire community nationwide, and always welcomes literary submittals from each & everyone of you: educational articles, toy tips & techniques, erotica / fiction / poetry, interviews, models / photographers / artists---you name it! ALSO, feel free to inquire about our inexpensive advertising for your organization, business, or event for nationwide coverage and maximum exposure!

http://www.kink-e-zine.com

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Moving vanilla to kink

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:12:03 GMT

I'm sure it's an age old question that has come up a thousand times, and is an issue because that other age old adage that once you go BDSM you can never return to vanilla, but what have some of you experienced are the best ways to subtly introduce BDSM into a potentially brand new vanilla relationship? Don't want to scare her off, but don't want to deceive her either. But of course, at some point I will need to get her there...a boy has needs!!

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 19 replies

Looking for F Bondage Subject for ropework /photography.

1000words — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:30:13 GMT

Hi all.

I'm looking for some new (sexy, sane, cool, fit) in Los Angeles (or near) to do ropework/photography with.

See my profile for an example of my work.

Feel free to drop me a line with questions or to say Hello.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

This Sunday: Janus XPlore Series - an Introduction to Bondage with Steve

SteveTorque — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 02:41:03 GMT

The Society of Janus presents: the XPlore Series - an Introduction to Bondage with Steve

www.soj.org/xplore/index.html

Sunday, April 27th
SF Citadel
1:00pm - 4:00pm (Doors open at Noon)
Cost: $5/Janus Members; $15/Non-Members (You do not need to be a Janus member to attend)

About this program:

This class will survey all aspects relating to Bondage. From physical and mental safety, psychological issues, working with bondage, various styles including mummification, steel, inescapable, predicament, harnesses, painful vs. comfortable bondage, and, of course, rope. We will discuss cages, long term bondage, sensory deprivation, Vac-Rack, Suspensions, and other more restrictive bondage methods as well as answer any questions raised during the conversations.

Part of the class will include quick demonstrations (with the class members, no formal demo is planned), and (if we get through the material quickly) a section devoted to hands-on teaching of basic rope work (cuffs, wrist/ankle tie, Pearl, Karada). (Please bring some rope with you if you’d like to practice - but this isn't intended as an in-depth hands-on workshop.)

Please remember the Xplore Series is exactly that… an Exploration of different types of bondage. We won’t be going into depth about any one particular aspect of bondage, but rather give a broad overview. Hopefully the class will leave you with a wider understanding and awareness of everything in the bondage milieu as well as an understanding of additional resources for your own study and practice.

About our Presenter:

Steve's interest in bondage began with the Story of O at an early age. He enjoys both putting his partners into various bondage positions as well as the wonderful things he can do when they are helpless. Steve also enjoys laughter, bad jokes, singing, dogs and way too much Chocolate Chocolate chip Haagen Daz. Did I mention bondage.

Steve has been in the BDSM community in the Bay Area for about 15 years. Steve has taught several classes for Janus including the Bondage Overview, and he's held several Janus officer positions including Program Director, Coordinator, and Webmaster. Steve started and continues to run the Janus Community Events Calendar. He has been Janus Representative to the NCSF, NCSF webmaster, and ran KAP (Kink Aware Professionals). Steve has done shoots with BDSM websites including several Kink.com shoots under the nickname Torque.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Profiles

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 06:25:35 GMT

Is there a way to hide my profile so it's invisible to everyone? I've checked the account settings, FAQs, etc. and haven't seen an answer to that. Thanks...

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 24 replies

most amusing reason for punishment?

Jenica — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 05:06:24 GMT

Anyone have humorous stories about their reasons (or "reasons") for punishment, either made manifest or merely threatened? Given that many of us seem to have fabulous senses of humor, I speculate that there must be a multitude of amusing tales floating around.

What got me thinking about this was the other day, I let My Captain know (against my better judgment, mind you) that I had the chorus of an old Def Leppard song stuck in my head, but I couldn't remember the name of the song. He told me to sing it. Naturally, I got terribly embarrassed (I love to sing, but...Def Leppard?!) He ordered me again. I demurred. At this point, he grabbed his whip.

I sang. Badly.

Later, when I told him I was going to post about this, he told me that the punishment was actually intended because I was embarrassed (!!), not because I wouldn't sing. But I had a few days' inner hilarity over the idea that I might have been beaten for refusing to sing Def Leppard.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 34 replies

Playtime music

Daddy Kevin — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 14:01:38 GMT

What is your favorite music for playtime?

What is your favorite music for being played?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 14 replies

for realsies, how do you be new?

Point — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 04:52:19 GMT

i hope that other people find this relevant.
honestly, i've read everything i can get my hands on. i spend all my work hours reading content that is definitely NSFW. i've been out to a few open parties, and even played a little, but don't know anyone on "the scene". i went to a beginner's class and i've played some in private, but always with the wrong people.
so the question is: what if i don't want to play with other newbies? how would i begin to explain that i'm mostly queer but with some het fantasies? where are these munches? and, do you always have to meet people on the internet? oh so many questions!

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 7 replies

what kind of rope to buy (and where)

brookswift — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:41:34 GMT

Hey, I want to know what kind of rope to buy and where for use in low level rope bondage (rope harnesses, other bindings, but nothing particularly fancy like suspension). i've heard a lot of talk like "just go to the hardware store and get it", but there's a LOT of variety there. Some recommendations of length would be nice too, as I'm starting out and want to experiment a bit with various knots and configurations.

the cotton rope i got from goodvibes, while comfy, is hard really do anything but a very basic knot with and is a bit too stretchy.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 19 replies

Hi All

1000words — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 02:31:22 GMT

New (ish) to BDSM, been doing my own thing for a a year or two, mostly into rope bondage as an erotic/artistic endeavor. Brand new to this Tribe. Thought I'd say Hi. (The pics in my profile are examples of some of my work.)

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 8 replies

Dental work

nanotechnowceo — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 20:54:38 GMT

The other day I went in to have a filling redone and decided to try something different. I turned down the Novocaine and used self hypnosis to put myself in a light trance while the dentist drilled out the old filling. I raised my hand a couple of times to let the dentist know I needed him to stop for a moment while I got back on top of the pain. I was able to spend 20+ min. while he drilled riding the pain just barely above it. Endorphins were kicking in after a bit and it was a blast. Kinda blew the dentist and his assist away but totally changed my perspective on dental work.

Anyone ever try this?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 17 replies

I'm New

Cindy — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 22:32:20 GMT

But I just make up my own rules.

Am I bad?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 7 replies

Kink-e-Zine for April has launched!

Master Erik — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 05:08:01 GMT

Kink-e-Zine for April 2008 is fresh off the presses, & we invite you to check out many new sights to be seen with us!

The main headline...Kink-e-Zine is now a NATIONAL publication, continuing to cover the SF Bay Area BDSM scene, but also taking a look at what's going on in the Midwest, Southeast, & Northeast Regions...& bringing the news to YOU!

A peek at what's inside this month:

Pepper Mint talks about Kinky Abuse & Community Response
Vitamin A's continued segment of "The Anatomy of Bondage"
Miss T's Review of SF Fetish Ball 2008
BDSM Must-Have Books for your Kink Library
Steamy Erotica by Elusive Grace
Florentine Flogging Techniques
Sir William Interviews...ME! :)
Latest Installments of "Kink in The City", "Ask Me Anything", "Blog Alley", & NEW SECTIONS--"Book/Movie Reviews", & "The Forum"

Whatcha waitin for? Check us out!!

http://www.kink-e-zine.com

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Very New and Looking for What To Do and Where To Go

Sykotic — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 16:56:33 GMT

Hi Everyone,

So I'm a total (sort of) newbie to bdsm, and have created a tribe profile different than my general one because I fear being outted. Yes, I'm going to put pics up that show off maybe 40% of my face, etc. and will show I'm not a troll or trying to use this tribe in a stupid junior high way to get attention. My purpose is simply to "get laughed at here" rather than get laughed at for making dumb mistakes in the real world of thers more experienced than I am.

I'm going to be a little careful here and attempt to protect another person who works hard to keep his camp at Burning Man a secret, so if others of you recognize this, feel free to write me privately, but let's not discuss HIS camp here. It's nearly impossible to discuss this without starting there:

I went to a regional burn event (a baby version of Burning Man) and there was a theme camp created with built a tented adult playground. There was a waiver and screening processes, to insure those who entered the playground were up for it and wouldn’t stop one minute into the adventure (you could stop it with a safe-word.)

Interestingly, the actual adventure itself never came off. Something went wrong, either technically or with personnel, and of the three nights the event was offered, only one night was it available, and the slow trickle of participants moving through discouraged many. Because I’m a pagan, I wanted to be at the burn, and couldn’t hang out near their camp to see when it was “ready for me”. About 20 people out of hundreds went through.

But I did fill out the questioner, and passed their paper screening, and had to take a mandatory physical exam and psychological exam. This was the camp’s way of insuring you would go at least some of the distance. If you wouldn’t do these two things there was little point in your attempting to run their gauntlet. These two exams took place in the late afternoon, and if you passed, you were given a place in their cue to go through the adventure, which as I mentioned was a bust.

But the physical and psychological exam were an adventure themselves; or at least one was role play and the other bdsm. I had always fantasized about both of these things, but only once played, and only in a slight way.

The physical exam was exactly right out of the “play doctor” manual. Because I am just as interested in the psychological humiliation associated with my fantasies as well as the physical contact, I enjoyed this more than those performing it ever imagined I would. Also, because both, it was my first time to do this, and because I have a genuinely deep streak of modesty in my psyche, I gave them far more of an enjoyable reaction to each request demand made of me.

In short, even though I’m a male who has nothing to be ashamed of his body (which the exception that I can’t tan and have a light complexion that has always been a drag), I acted, and was indeed, embarrassed and then humiliated by their medical requests, and did not give up my clothes or a procedure without a reaction of “no fucking way” in my eyes, but complying fully anyway. (This was my first and I thought possibly only time doing this, and so I lived it to the max.)

They were clever and had some humor over it, including placing me and the girl-stranger I was in line with in a waiting area, each in our underwear. Of course there was a female doctor and nurse, and a full exam, and I can only imagine what the exam was for the women.

One more thing about this (because when I first wrote someone about this she didn't understand), THIS WAS NOT A REAL MEDICAL EXAM, BUT A FUN ROLE PLAY that insured you would get naked during the general adventure (which I never got to do). There was no penetration and no sex act. it was an adult version of playing doctor.

I passed it, and it allowed me to get psychologically examined, which had a bdsm aspect to it, and for the first time in my life I was whipped and enjoyed it.

Only once before did I ever actually arrange and participate in a role play in my entire life, and it involved in being "forced" to have sex with someone I "was having a first date with" for the pleasure of others who were pretending to be criminal pervs. That's the only thing I ever did before this burn event adventure I just wrote of, and now all of you know my entire experiences.

All of these things I enjoyed greatly, and I want to explore them further. Outside of these recent events, I’m a total newbie.

I wanted advice that you might give about what direction I might take to explore bdsm.

Until I expand on my profile and post pics, know that I'm a male living in Los Angeles. I am in my late 30s. Whether anyone likes this or not, or suggests against this, I can not change this: I have chosen to live a dual life, and keep secret everything I do in this matter

My current plan is to meet others into this through my burner contacts, and I plan on applying to the Temple of Atonement as a supplicant.

I have a VERY thick skinned psyche, and just like it takes a lot of scotch to get me drunk, if possible, I have a high endurance for pain, including pain of the mind, and it takes a lot of it to bring me to a level of enjoyment. This has worried some lovers and excited others. It’s just who I am. I now wish to do this "being tied up and whipped by a woman thing" with others, and meet them for that purpose, or be in a mixed group that is humiliated and abused in a chamber setting. So that's why I'm writing this to you all.

If anyone doesn't want to write to me 'til I expand my profile and build up my pics, totally understood.

Thanks for reading my discussion,

Sykotic

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 4 replies

Nazis and Plantation Owners and Priests, Oh, My!

Chris — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 20:53:23 GMT

Does anyone have any experience with playing with really socially/racially taboo stuff? Has there been or will there be a class taught on this any time soon?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 9 replies

New Tribe: Age Play Among Women

GalaxyGirl — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 05:16:39 GMT

New Tribe: Age Play Among Women

This tribe is intended to be a place to discuss age play between and among women. In this context, age play refers to the exploration of affectional and/or sexual relationships between women who are in real life of the age of consent but who wish to role play relationships or interactions in which there is an age differential, such as mother/daugher, aunt/niece, babysitter/girl, teacher/student, coach/player, etc. This tribe does not concern pedophilia, as all discussions are assumed to concern real life adults. Since there are other tribes that littles can join as littles, the moderator intends this tribe to be a place for adult discussion of age play.

Here’s the link: http://tribes.tribe.net/ageplaybetweenwomen

Hope you will join, GalaxyGirl

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

Negotiation with Integrity

teamnoir — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:58:53 GMT

Would you like more confidence in your play? More variety? To play more? Would you like to learn how to ask for what you want? To know when to decline? Or to feel safer overall in your play?

Negotiation skills can help with all of these things as well as many other areas of life. Unfortunately many people think that negotiation is just about tricks for manipulating or controlling other people. Come spend an evening developing your sense of integrity and learning more effective ways of communicating what you want sincerely and authentically.

This workshop will consist of some discussion with plenty of exercises, support, and encouragement suitable for anyone of any play or skill level.

7:30 p.m., Thursday, March 27th
Stormy Leather, 1158 Howard St., San Francisco

Advance purchase tickets are $20 - purchase them at http://stormyleather.com, in the retail store, or by calling 800-486-9650 or 415-626-1672.
Tickets will be $25 after 7pm on the night before the event, so visit the website and get yours now!

Additionally, those who arrive early to shop will receive 20% off purchases made prior to the start of the class - don't miss out!

Please feel free to e-mail Kirsten@stormyleather.com with any questions. Discount applies to all non-clearance items and cannot be combined with any other offer.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 4 replies

What's your definition of subbing?

Grizzly — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 15:39:26 GMT

Something odd happened recently. A friend told me someone in the community had trashed me because of something I'd said in a meeting at the Citadel. When people were asked if anyone there had never subbed, I raised my hand. And evidently, this outraged the person trashing me, that a dom may never have subbed. It got me thinking (always a dangerous thing...)

I chatted more with my friend, surprised at the outrage, and mentioned that *by my definitions*, I never have subbed, but certainly have had a sub use each of my dozen floggers on me, and many of my canes, and all other pain toys, just to get a feel for how they impacted, swept skin, hurt, etc. My friend's response was that, in that case, I HAD subbed. I've always thought, since I've never experienced subspace, that I've never subbed, regardless of trying it out, with spanking that left me bored, or flogging, caning, and other brief lifeless experiments. (To my regret, switching never seems to do a thing for me, and whether through pain or exercise, I'm fairly sure I've never been fortunate enough to experience an endorphin high.)

So, what's the definition of subbing to you? Is it the only what you do physically, or is it what you experience? Personally, I think of it as experiencing the whole of the pain-becomes-pleasure/submission to another's giving of sensation/etc. experience. Which I've orchestrated for others, but never felt, myself. Or do you consider it just the experience of bending down and accepting what someone else gives you, regardless of what's going on in your head? I'm curious what people are using for their way of defining things...

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 10 replies

Edges Needs Your Help

DonRush — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 06:59:26 GMT

Over the last two decades many public play spaces have flourished and died in the bay area. Edges was built with love in the tradition of the best of these. Now we face a crossroads. The building we occupy is for sale. Ali and Alex are not able to secure a loan to buy it themselves, and unless someone steps up to purchase it from within the community it will be sold to outsiders. IT IS possible the new owners would let us stay, but at this time we have no commitment. As a community, we not only want, but need the support of Each Of You to see this through.

If you know of anyone in a position and with the inclination to buy the building and continue to rent it to Edges, please have them call Alex immediately. In the interim here is the current plan:

In order to continue providing a space to the community, (at this physical location or another) Edges needs financial support from our greater community. Ali has maintained Edges with NO debt for the past two years, yet neither Ali nor Alex take funds from their endeavors with Edges, but rather put all excess back into the space itself. We need the community to take on this same go-give mentality.

Unfortunately Ali is in school full time, just started a new job and is about to begin her internship for her laboratory career; she simply does not have the time to manage this extra workload! Therefore, we are looking for volunteers to manage fundraising events in the next few weeks. We need a General Manager of Fundraising, and people to organize specific events, organize the membership drive, advertise and spread the word, and more!

Please call Alex directly with any ideas or your willingness to take on some of what needs to be done.

Thank you in advance for helping us save this wonderful asset to the community! Know that it is our intent to do everything possible to secure our current location, or ensure we have a new home for all of us!

Alex and Ali
408-496-1132

Zifra has offered to take all general inquiries and offers to help. Please contact her directly:
408-750-7858

We have a minimum of two months in which to raise fund to purchase the space or move! Show us and the community your support:

By committing yourself to visit the space at least ONCE a month, you will be helping us raise our funds. Encourage others online and through word of mouth to visit Edges' events.

If you will increase your membership to the red, blue and black membership levels, you will be contributingto this community endeavor and yourself. Your contributions will ensure that your own membership lasts!
If we have to close the door and are unable to reopen within 6 months, at least 50% of your increased membership will be returned!

Please visit Edges during a play party to increase your membership!
Membership level information can be found here: http://www.edges.biz/memberships.pdf

If the space is lost, these funds will allow Ali and Alex to secure a new space and move Edges to a new home. If the new landlord allows Edges to continue here, the funds will upgrade the space with showers, a full kitchen and the like.

We are committed to either remaining in our current home or moving! We do not plan to close our doors. Please join us in this committement and encourage others to help as well.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

beauty

Cheif D — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 23:28:08 GMT

question:is the female body endemically more beautiful than the male? is a pussy prettier than a cock?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 10 replies

shaving tips

janathemama — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:20:19 GMT

I'd like some tips and pointers about shaving a pussy.

How best to shave, aftercare, what best to do as the hair grows back etc.. please let me know.. thanks.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 26 replies

Mmmmmmmm Paddles

DonRush — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 16:15:20 GMT

St. Pat's Annual Paddle a Thon

Edges Playspace in the South Bay
When: 8:00 PM to 1:00 AM; Doors close at 11PM
Cost: $20 for members, $25 for guests

Aye Lassies--bring us your bare bottoms for this years' PADDLE-A-THON
contest at Edges! We'll be raising gold coins in exchange for paddled
buttocks and thighs of ruby red. There's a suprise specialty trophy for the
volunteers bottoms that can raise the most gold fer the pot at the rainbows
end. Also there will be a shamrock collection contest for those that
participate in helping by lending a hand..or paddle..or cane!

How does this work? Each person is given a certain number of gold coins to
pay for paddlingsor to paddle: you'll be able to purchase more fools gold
coins throughout the night to continue the search for the rainbow colored
ass!!

Don't forget to bare your green upon your usual black attire.

EDGES Orientation from 730PM until 8PM
Open Party for members and their guest.
RSVP Required for non-members unless accompanied by a member.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 1 reply

Terminology question:

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 02:04:27 GMT

I have seen the word "Dominate" used as a noun on several occasions ("JohnDoe is my Dominate."). I have always used the word "Dominant" and assumed "dominate" was only a verb. I checked the dictionary and they only have it as a verb. In the BDSM world, is the term Dominate, commonly used as a noun, or were what I saw just typos? I guess my next question is, if John Doe is Dominant, is Jane submissive?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 33 replies

4/12/08 - "Kinky Krafts II" Toymaking Workshop with Master Erik, SF Citadel

Master Erik — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:02:30 GMT

4/12/08 - "Kinky Krafts II" Toymaking Workshop
with Master Erik

Saturday, Apr. 12, 2008
SF Citadel; 1277 Mission Street
San Francisco 94103
www.sfcitadel.org

Start Time: 1:00 PM
Admission: $45

We've all been in this scenario before---toy shopping at the local leathers store, and finding ourselves either leaving empty-handed because of how expensive they are or spending hundreds of dollars for just one toy. While leaving, we say to ourselves, "if only I could make my own toys...."

...well, that time is NOW!

Join Master Erik for a special 4-hour workshop, where He will cover the basics to getting started on making your own floggers, crops, canes, and cat o'nine tails. You'll also learn about shopping for inexpensive materials, leather braiding, and knots commonly used in toy making.

Admission for the workshop includes an instructional worksheet to take home with you, and a pre-packaged kit with all the materials needed to make a functional, utilitarian leather flogger during the second part of the workshop.

* PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CROSS-POST THIS ANNOUNCEMENT IN OTHER GROUPS

BIO: Master Erik has been enjoying the BDSM lifestyle for almost 21 years, playing ,volunteering, and giving workshops in Europe, the Southeastern US, and the last 8 years in the SF Bay Area. He is a member of SF Citadel Volunteer Staff, Dungeon Monitors Association, and is Publisher of Kink-e-Zine online. His handmade "weapons of ass destruction" can be seen--and felt!--most weekends at SF Citadel play parties.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 0 replies

I am a compassionate dom looking for spiritual but kinky female sub

Acu-Funk-ture — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:55:01 GMT

As much as i like to be the one in control., there is a higher "union" that i am interested in.. I would love to connect with someone who takes their Spiritual inspiration as serious as their physical health and extacy. and i believe that connection lends to a greater satisfaction for both..Anyone out there .........and what do you all think of that facet of BDSM ?

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 31 replies

Glove love?

cynthiasays — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 04:55:20 GMT

Okay, now, I've put together my own little subbie toybag for myself where I keep my own condoms, lube, vibrators and dildos that are fluid bonded to me (thank you, EduKink for my kinky education), but I wonder about how others are playing. Do you guys always use condoms on toys and gloves on hands when you play? I know it's not the law, but it seems like a safer way to play. Do tell.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 15 replies

How do I have my subwife accept

K_J — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 20:47:49 GMT

She did not know I was into the lifestyle.Here I meet a shy,sensitive but assertive female 16years ago.In the last 9 weeks I have learned of several d/s affairs during our 16yrs together.A spark of awakening from Alt members commentating on her erotic romance novels and blogs at 1st. she said it was in her mind .As liberal as I am I was studying in my field, gained tunnelvision to keep my focus and eye on the prize, But a Dom confided in her she came under his control.Now I'm battleing to show her I do for me not because she wants.ie. Role Play.Its impossible to play catch up, but Im trying to come up with scenes. She is willing but I know even now as I type, she is writing or talking to him.Oh Well There must be a sub for me to have I'm sure, even if its not my wife.Although I want her as my sub, if she will not commit to me, then Ce la Vie.

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 15 replies

Earning One's Leathers

Chris — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 03:13:42 GMT

I admit, though I am technically a newby (still in my first year, still in my first 6 months, amazingly enough), I find myself seeking out what feels like the proper way to do things. I find I am consciously surrounding myself with the 'middle aged guard' that I am doing things in a bit of an 'old school' sort of fashion. I am finding myself a bit of an edge player, I am wild and I am silly, but I also have a lot of respect for what leather represents. I like the idea of earning one's leathers, but in truth, I really have no idea how to go about doing this. My Dom/lover is probably one of the people I respect the most that I've met thus far, but setting her in a mentor role is likely to take away some from the role that she is currently in. At this point I think it unwise to look to her for this sort of training. Have others run into this problem? Does anyone my age still earn his/her leathers? Any Oldbys got suggestions?
blue jeans and lack of leather wearin' Chris

posted in New to BDSM (Uncensored) - 4 replies

New to BDSM (Uncensored)'s topics - tribe.net

San Fran Exotic Erotic Expo - help wanted.....

Ohio

Kinky reads

Article about Kink.com

Searching for play partners

Master seeks submissive female.

Algolagnia

What about Mommy-little boy?

looking for a group

Yet another newbie...

New to the scene

New BDSM group in Columbia Missouri

Two Weeks Until "The Headbangers Ball"!!!

Kink-e-Zine for August has launched!

Iron Dom Contest this Saturday at the Citadel

Giving permission to your slave to have sex with others...

What Play Piercing Tops Look For

is it shared energy?

Bastinado

the "sleep" syndrome

Hemophagia

Rape play . . . suggestions?

Surgeons cut 16 washers from penis

Seattle Sub

A Whole New World

A review of "Men's Erotic Dominance Intensive Weekend with Cléo Dubois, Eve Minax, and Selina Raven - May 2008"

Silly

Kink-e-Zine's Special Pride Month Edition has just launched!!

Tonight is the night!

transitioning from vanilla to D/s relationship

Awesome class for Masochists on Tuesday!

Thank you all but now I'm on my own

Newbie

Newbie Dom (please help)

How to deal with pain and use Catharsis

Non piercing nipple rings

The Power Exchange & Citadel Featured in Magazine Article

What is a pain pig?

Kink-e-Zine Staff Positions Now OPEN!

Lost at IMsL: Leather Cuff

Learn about processing pain and Catharsis

Kink-e-Zine for May has launched!

Moving vanilla to kink

Looking for F Bondage Subject for ropework /photography.

This Sunday: Janus XPlore Series - an Introduction to Bondage with Steve

Profiles

most amusing reason for punishment?

Playtime music

for realsies, how do you be new?

what kind of rope to buy (and where)

Hi All

Dental work

I'm New

**Kink-e-Zine for April has launched!**

Very New and Looking for What To Do and Where To Go

Nazis and Plantation Owners and Priests, Oh, My!

New Tribe: Age Play Among Women

Negotiation with Integrity

What's your definition of subbing?

Edges Needs Your Help

beauty

shaving tips

Mmmmmmmm Paddles

Terminology question:

4/12/08 - "Kinky Krafts II" Toymaking Workshop with Master Erik, SF Citadel

I am a compassionate dom looking for spiritual but kinky female sub

Glove love?

How do I have my subwife accept

Earning One's Leathers

Kink-e-Zine for April has launched!