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When I first got interested in BDSM, I really felt I was a Sub.........
But I seem to attract these guys that make me a switch. Or a Dom..........
And I can see being both. Sometimes.
But I think I really want to be a sub. I'm just picky.
I want to be a bratty sub! Damn it!
But I seem to attract these guys that make me a switch. Or a Dom..........
And I can see being both. Sometimes.
But I think I really want to be a sub. I'm just picky.
I want to be a bratty sub! Damn it!
posted by:
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Missouri
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Re: How do you Know?
Sat, November 22, 2008 - 2:19 PMSometimes bratty subs get into alot of trouble. It can be a good thing if your into that. -
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Re: How do you Know?
Sat, November 22, 2008 - 11:16 PMIf I could find a true Dom :) -
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Unsu...
Re: How do you Know?
Sun, November 23, 2008 - 12:00 AMI have been with a couple of sub women who said they kept finding doms who wanted to be sub. I tried being submissive with a partner and it just didnt click for either of us the way it did when we were in what came to us more naturally.
If you are a "good sub" you are always welcome to come to Portland.
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Unsu...
Re: How do you Know?
Thu, November 27, 2008 - 2:14 AMPeople used to make it from MO to Portland by foot and horse all the time,,,,,they even had whips and riding crops.
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Unsu...
Re: How do you Know?
Sat, November 22, 2008 - 2:28 PMSometimes the Juice is Not worth the Squeeze…
Make sure you wish and are prepared to reap the consequences of your actions…
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Re: How do you Know?
Sun, November 23, 2008 - 3:35 PMLabels are basically just that: labels...a way for one to identify oneself to others and themself, and a way for others to seek out others who have similar backgrounds and interests as them. It troubles me at times when people seem to take WAY too much stock in their labels...
"I'm a dom/me so I can't do this"
"I'm a sub so I'm not suppose to do or say this"
"All good tops should..."
"You're a bad bottom because..."
The only one who really gets to label someone or critique their performance in that respective position is that person themselves. People obviously should obviously feel free to relate their own personal experiences of being in similar positions, but all this "I'm an awesome top because...and you're not" bullshit is really getting kind of old. This, by the way, is not meant to be any sort of attack or criticism on the OP, it's really just my opinion here. -
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Unsu...
Re: How do you Know?
Sun, November 23, 2008 - 5:18 PMI don't know about there being any better or worse in the two roles or other combinations therein. Nothing wrong with a passive person learning to be more assertive or dominant or vice versa,,,,,just in my experience switching roles just doesn't have the same energy FOR ME,,,or for the partner I am usually with.
I don't know that the lable is the cause vs the effect and labelos are definitely a more convienant way to communicate more complex discriptions.
As for specifics of who is what and what works for all of those involved it is definitely a matter of taste unique to them so if its working by all means enjoy,,,,,and post some pictures darn it.
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Re: How do you Know?
Mon, November 24, 2008 - 9:13 AMSailor,
fyi most D's do not sub or switch for that matter. They usually stick with what they feel cause they are Dominant. Very few with change it up in private but that is very personal. You will find what your niche is and it will come naturally. Good luck -
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Re: How do you Know?
Mon, November 24, 2008 - 11:43 AMI guess...I identify as a bottom and a sub. I rarely top (and usually if I do, it's at a request of another person who's already topping in a scene asking me to join) and I identify as a sub, so I definitely know what you mean about finding my niche. I just get really frustrated when so often labels get WAY more stock than they deserve. That's all. -
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Re: How do you Know?
Mon, December 8, 2008 - 9:05 PMI dunno about that. The longer I'm in the scene, the more I'm impressed by people who are "100% total Dom" . . . but part of their D/s relationship is having their sub tie them up, beat them, do extreme CBT on them, etc. I know one couple who are in a hardcore contracted D.s relationship . . . and the sub ties her master up, fucks him up the ass, does humiliation play on him, forced feminization, etc. I love that. The stereotype would eb that as a Dom he would be violating her, but he orders her to violate him and man does she do it. The flexibility and perversity are so awesome . . . -
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Re: How do you Know?
Wed, December 10, 2008 - 1:58 PMI have to say that I am not at all intrigued by those dominants that "never bottom...ever." I had my share of intrigue and interest early on, but I learned that I could insert the word "trust" and the sentence reads the same. "I don't trust... ever." Dominants who never let anyone try anything on them, whether in private or public, will never learn bottomming skills or submissive heart. And because of that, they are not very good teachers. I'm still a firm believer that you can learn the most when you tackle it from all sides.
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Re: How do you Know?
Mon, December 15, 2008 - 8:30 AM<The stereotype would eb that as a Dom he would be violating her, but he orders her to violate him and man does she do it.>
Yeah, my boi and I caught a number of stares when at IMsL I told her to strap it on and fuck me in the dungeon. More fun was telling her how to fuck me as she's doing it.
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Re: How do you Know?
Fri, December 19, 2008 - 12:18 AMI am a switch.
And I'm Bi.
I clearly need to do some "work" before I involve another person.............
So confused! Maybe I need someone to beat me.......just so I know.........
I'm nervous about my local scene....and I have no car, so getting to my local scene is Complicated.....
HELP! -
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Re: How do you Know?
Fri, December 19, 2008 - 12:43 PMI would consider joining a tribe local to your area. That might be a good start.
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Re: How do you Know?
Fri, December 19, 2008 - 9:11 PMI also don't have a car. That makes the two of us :-)
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