If you are a friend of Beth's you can read this. If you are not, well, you need to become a friend of Beth's:
people.tribe.net/ohsoverys...3f85a38046
people.tribe.net/ohsoverys...3f85a38046
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Columbus
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Re: "Me Laughing!"
Thu, December 14, 2006 - 7:46 PMWoody friends only Sat, April 22, 2006 - 12:53 PM
Today has only been the strangest day of motherhood of all time. The kids and I are driving through McDonalds when my 7 year old son pops his first public erection, yes I do mean ERECTION in the back seat of the car and starts flexing it up and down through his pants and giggling hysterically.
Would someone tell me where in the Mommy Manual the appropriate reaction to this is????????????
"Stop! Stop!" I say, and of course I can't explain why because, well, I'm trying to take in three chocolate milks and three happy meals from the drive through window.
Sydney, sister, well she is dying of laughter and Zane is asking "What, what, what?" and I'm sitting there horrified that the McDonalds staff is going to figure out what they are doing, and I've only turned 93 shades of red and lost the ability to speak at all while trying t get the food in the car.
Somewhere deep inside I think two things. First, he shouldn't be "ashamed" it's just normal body function, even if I am ignorant of what little boys do and when. Secondly, he needs to know he can't play with his erection in public, and well thirdly, after all, I need a freaking tranquilizer or ten.
*Breathe*
Beth :) -
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Re: "Me Laughing!"
Thu, December 14, 2006 - 7:49 PM(Me laughing!)
That has got to be the funniest blog entry in the entire history of tribe.net. -
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Re: "Me Laughing!"
Thu, December 14, 2006 - 7:59 PMLiving with these three....
I could be the next Erma Bombeck, no lie.
You know they go on strike from cooperating with me, oh every freaking day of their lives. Yesterday is no different. Zane refuses to dress. I send him out in the cold with nothing but his little underwear on and tell him if he's cold, perhaps he should have put his clothes on between the first and the 11th time I asked him to.
I EVEN LAID THEM OUT FOR HIM. (he is 5 1/2)
So he gets in the car, freezing his little ass off. It was not that cold, like 50 degrees or a little less. Barely jacket weather when you're hormonal anyway. So I hand him the bag of clothes and off he goes to the back of the van to get dressed as soon as he can.
My neighbor is a witness to this. She.... probably can't fathom my life, and not that I care but I am sure she is purely HORRIFIED at my half naked child in the December chill. Let me note for you that these three have been on time all of four or five times total, this entire school year. The school social worked and both counselors convened a meeting to devise a method to get them to school on time. I just sat there shaking my head...
Her daughter comes over to knock on my window.
"You have two pumpkins behind your car."
"Oh!!" I get out of the car to throw the pumpkins in the back so I can trash them and start laughing hysterically. "Hey don't you think it's kind of funny you tell me about the pumpkins but you don't mention my naked child?" I say to the mother.
She gives me The Look.
I am slapping my knees.
"THAT is personal." she says over her shoulder.
I guess that means, the pumpkins aren't. -
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Re: The Look
Thu, December 14, 2006 - 8:12 PMAh. So she was not amused. Good save--otherwise we might have had to banish this story to the "Easily Amused" tribe, with which this story flirts dangerously.
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