i didn't know partygoers would actually screw each other, and I was still a little skeptical even after i was told. my friend just asked me to help bartend for a swanky party and since i had already called in sick to work i thought, well, why the hell not. so i got there, and the charming party orchestrators told me that due to my vivacious personality i was better suited to host. they gave me the sleazy scoop, saying that althought it was a swingers party, these people reject the term because they are young and attractive whereas swingers are older and generally not as good. i was like whatever, you're all swingers to me. he laughed, of course. couples came, just a few at a time. most knew each other to some capasity. i was showing group number six or seven to arrive (a couple and an extra woman) the last room in the flat, a gorgeously decorated room with couches and beds, when i first saw actual swinger party sex. i was a little shocked, but mostly didn't want to interrupt, so i just played it cool. the single woman in the group wasn't so shy. she was like "okay then! i'm just going to go over here" and she fled the room. in later conversation i learned that she was quite seriously catholic and considered all of the hanky panky immoral, and appalling. i asked her why she came, and she said, "it's like a car crash."
The highlight for me was when these two really beautiful women got it the fuck on. they were laughing and moaning and being cute, and very saucy.
I still don't know if i would interact in a party like this, but as planless saturday nights go, it was pretty interesting.
The highlight for me was when these two really beautiful women got it the fuck on. they were laughing and moaning and being cute, and very saucy.
I still don't know if i would interact in a party like this, but as planless saturday nights go, it was pretty interesting.
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Mon, July 18, 2005 - 11:11 AM"it's like car crash".
heehee. was anyone dressed like a cop? cuz that would be fun.
lucky you. gawd bless this city. -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Mon, July 18, 2005 - 11:50 AMwow seems like everyone I know is going to swinger parties. Its roman all over again.
think about it... -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Mon, July 18, 2005 - 11:50 AMactually its rome and not roman.... damn this drugs... -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Mon, July 18, 2005 - 3:27 PMBTW... I was the friend that asked Martina to help out (thanks for the discretion, Martina. That's VERY proper protocol!).
Martina was beloved by all and belusted by many. I saw many o' swanky, swinging guys step to her and try to work their Aqua Velva charms! Martina was friendly and kind, but she knew her boundries!
I remeber telling you what kind of party it was. Perhaps not emphatically, but it was in that eMail. Now that I think of it, if I were less jaded by now, I would have been more emphatic about the sex. I'm afraid I have reached that point where I have seen it all (unlike our Catholic friend who was looking for car crashes).
The one thing I do enjoy is watching the interactions. I'm something of an amature anthorpologist and I get a kick out of seeing how people deal with one another. Watching mating rituals are particularly fun. I am actually fascinated with how women are in such settings. They are frequently the instigators.
Everyone had fun, though. Even the Catholic looky-loo!
Can you imagine...
"bless me father, for I have sinned...
... last saturday night I went to a swingers orgy."
"yess... go on my child..."
"more details, please..."
"was she shaved down there??"
Heh! -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Mon, July 18, 2005 - 6:02 PMthanks for the compliments. yeah, you may have told me in the email. i was happy to be surprised, though, either way. it was a total adventure. speaking of fabulous city adventures, where in god's name is harry buttcrack (the triber formally known as Ham)?
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Tue, July 19, 2005 - 1:27 PMone of these days, i'm gonna help out. one of these days. school keeps me so busy!
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Tue, July 19, 2005 - 11:38 AMYeah, the sex vibe is ON right now...somone told me it's cuz Uranus is in retrograde. I kid you not, that's what they said...
I deejayed at party over the Forth of July weekend, then suddenly noticed people were fucking and sucking and groping each other to my surprise, folks I knew to be in relationships but both partners getting down with other folks. Well, I guess more friends of mine that I knew are swingers. I played a super-kinked out set in honor hot sex. The funniest thing from the evening was this old timer who kept coming up to ask me to play some music with drums...hip-hop and breaks don't have drums. Oh but wait, an ever better request was a dude who seriously said, "Play some metal."
Oh Uranus, how your retrograding makes the world so randy.... -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Tue, July 19, 2005 - 12:15 PMyou got uranus on my peanutbutter... or wait, i'm sorry, that's my peanutbutter on yeranus -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Tue, July 19, 2005 - 1:25 PMheh heh, we said uranus. -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Tue, July 19, 2005 - 5:51 PMreally? everyones horny? i thought it was just me. maybe now i can get someone cute to do me. now i have a new fantasy for all those sleepless nights. uranus slides into retrograde, and all the freaks get Nasty.
i think phatty tuna has a new hit:
Girl, you looks good, won't uranus slide into retrograde?
You's a fine motherfucker, won't uranus slide in retrograde?
Call me big daddy when uranus moves in retrograde
Ho, who is you playing with, back that ass up -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Tue, July 19, 2005 - 10:13 PMWell .... This certainly makes a trip to the Fire Arts Festival seem tame, right Amy? -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Wed, July 20, 2005 - 9:37 AMYep, Maritna, EVERYONE is horny... 'cept for me (as you could see at the party) due to an injury I care not to share on a public forum (esp. THIS one!)
Who is this "Phatty Tuna"? Those lyrics are geeneeyus!
Oh, and speaking of genius...
HAM is in Europe right now. She's on a special secret agent mission of some sort. thwarting international terrorism or sabatoging the caviar trade or something like that.
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Wed, July 20, 2005 - 10:19 AMindeed. i feel like such a loser now. swinging is *so* in. given that our political climate seems to be nearing the level of obscurity that reigned during viet nam, i think people assume it's time for another Summer of Love.
come on people now, fuck your brother! everybody get together - let us love one another RIGHT NOW. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Wed, July 20, 2005 - 10:56 AMoh goodness.
phatty tuna is my rapper name. cause i'm hella phat, ribald, culinarily hip. sometimes i just go by 'the tuna' as in 'stayin tight all night; goin luna' with the tuna' -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Fri, July 22, 2005 - 12:07 AMPHATTY TUNA IN THA HIZZOUZE!!
BEEEEYOTCHEZ! -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Fri, July 22, 2005 - 1:57 AMclever, molestable dondon made that up for me. -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Fri, July 22, 2005 - 1:59 AMand miss kitty made up:
captina smartina
she's the jungle beaver
not the fish recipient
but the phatty tuna receiver.
i love having friends who are good with word play, who feed into my narcissism.
jungle beaver is my dj name, for when i spin jungle. because i like jungle, and i like bever.
i made that one up myself, because no one else is gross enough to find it funny. -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Fri, July 22, 2005 - 10:35 AMi think it's very funny.
however, that's because i'm picturing a poor lost north american beaver, wandering around the amazon wondering HOW THE FUCK to build a dam across that huge river. -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Fri, July 22, 2005 - 1:28 PMhee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Fri, July 22, 2005 - 1:30 PMlaughing at amy, not at martina.
though that's not meant to suggest that martina wasn't funny.
i just got a kick out of amy's mind being so far above the gutter in such an adorable way.
i *heart* lady.leblanc. -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Fri, July 22, 2005 - 5:17 PMwait a minute... who's lady leblanc?
(p.s. - i've been to a sex party. bless me father for i have sinned....) -
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Re: incidentally, i went to a sex party.
Sat, March 17, 2007 - 12:47 PMYeah, sounds like a good time alright. Wish I'd been there. These swingers clubs are opening up all over the country. It's the new sexual revolution, I believe. We have a few that just opened up in Portland, Or. Ones called the Ace of Hearts, and the other is Venus Rising. The
first one is open to the public(no single males) couples and single females only. The other one is a Private club. Venus Rising screens all
of their clients, to make sure they're attractive, disease free, sex offender free, and they're not psychos. I've never been to either of them
but I'd like to check em out, for sure. I think it would make me a little uncomfortable at first, but I'd eventually get over that, and maybe
have the "Balls" to join in. Maybe!?! I know I probably sound like I'm affiliated with these places, but I'm not. I was just curious about them and did some research. I'm trying to overcome alot of the shame based stuff I learned as a kid, as far as public nudity, and body image, ect.
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