For the women here...

topic posted Tue, June 24, 2008 - 9:12 PM by  offlinelynn
We as older women, don't always prefer a younger man..i.e., the drama and such. I would really like from the women here to tell me what they think of the term "Cougar" ? Being the older woman in a situation, for some (not me, as I have from my mid teens have preferred older men) gives you a bit better knowledge in some, but not all cases, what do you/ or if you oppose it, they, hope to gain? What is the, for some, maintenance factor to have to be maintained? I love the fact that I can always be me, not have to worry about the fact that I have to always "Look younger", why do that, than not age gracefully, and have a man, not a boy to have to impress...

Tell me your side of the story, as this interests me, and I figure this is the tribe to ask it..

Lynn


posted by:
lynn
Kansas City
  • Re: For the women here...

    Tue, June 24, 2008 - 9:27 PM
    I get the feeling that those who use the term cougar about *themselves* are healthy, if a bit self-deprecating; those who use it about *other* people may be derogatory. Sort of like the n word, it depends on who's doing the saying.

    Just to stir things around a bit -- an old soul can sometimes (but, alas, not usually) inhabit a young body. I look for the soul first and recognize the body after.
    • Re: For the women here...

      Tue, June 24, 2008 - 9:49 PM

      "Just to stir things around a bit -- an old soul can sometimes (but, alas, not usually) inhabit a young body. I look for the soul first and recognize the body after."

      So, Rose you stir the same cauldron??!!

      I've been around a bit myself, I find a smile on myself as I read, and type this!!!

      Lynn
      • Re: For the women here...

        Wed, June 25, 2008 - 5:38 PM
        I am saying chronological age may not matter that much, in either direction, in either party, depending on how other things mesh.

        And labels have gotten us (humans) into lots of trouble in the past [Xian, Muslim, Witch, gay, straight, bi] so I do try to avoid them whenever possible [ kitten, cougar, boy toy, dirty old man ...]

        Blessed Be

        • RIGHT ON CUE..Re: For the women here...

          Sun, June 29, 2008 - 1:05 PM
          msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx

          MSN just posted an article on the species of cougar, I have yet to read the
          article, but I must confess, there is an old saying "once you have tried black you
          won't go back.!" - - - that is how I feel after my older woman experience. I have
          not been able to date in almost seven years.

          Jokingly, I am ruined for women, do the men wanna try. HA HA, just kidding.
          really, I am a flaming heterosexual looking for my type.

          And a red blooded American, I was spilling a bunch on the asphalt yesterday just to
          prove it.

          Randy
          ---------
  • Re: For the women here...

    Tue, June 24, 2008 - 11:46 PM
    Lynn,, I have had my share of "dating" younger men,, but it was strictly for my own pleasure,,now I am in a realtionship with an older man.

    AS to the "cougar" tag,,, I don't care one way or the other,,I have been called "Mrs. Robinson" by one,, He Hee,,but that all I was looking for, nothing substantial,just my own selfish pursuit,,that was then,, this is now.
    • Re: For the women here...

      Wed, June 25, 2008 - 1:53 AM
      What about someone like me, who has worn out their body, but has the soul of an infant?
      • Re: For the women here...

        Wed, June 25, 2008 - 5:40 PM
        Momma always told me, "there's a somebody out there for everybody." So the seekers of young souls in old bodies are as well, I would imagine.
        • Re: For the women here...

          Wed, June 25, 2008 - 6:23 PM
          For the women here...and the admirers...

          With me, there can be no one, several people, or I can introspect and see what happens.
          • Re: For the women here...

            Sat, June 28, 2008 - 3:42 AM
            "With me, there can be no one, several people, or I can introspect and see what happens."

            I am befuddled by this,, not sure what it is you are trying to convey.
            • Re: For the women here...

              Sat, June 28, 2008 - 7:27 AM
              HI Miss Phae,
              I have heard many times someone say they believe in a soul mate, that is : one true person that another is meant to be with. I think what "THE" was saying is that
              there is not a ONE true twin flame/ soul mate for each person.
              If there were, if your soul mate got < knock on wood> struck by a bus, you would marry or
              acquire someone that was not your soul mate, and that person who was
              in a relation with you would be kept from there soul mate, which in turn would hook up with the wrong person [ not their soul mate, and the chain reaction of vicious denying somone their
              INTENDED would continue until everyone was wtih the wrong person, sort of like taking a million people and slicing them down the middle, then reattaching one half with another half of someone else, it creates a cascade where there are millions of mixed pairs that
              do not belong as such as they are rejoined; everyone being a left of one person and a right of another person but few if any having their true self-/two halfs properly connected.
              I think what THE meant was that their can be many very good and proper people who any
              one person is totally right and comfortable and compatiable with.

              >>>? "The" would correct me if I am mistaken on the meaning.

              Randy
              ------+
              • Re: For the women here...

                Sat, June 28, 2008 - 10:32 PM
                Randy,,That short circuited my brain! WOW!! Do you What You Think "The" is saying, to be true?
                Rather is this what you think?
                • Re: For the women here...

                  Tue, July 1, 2008 - 8:10 PM

                  Hello (Aloha) Miss Phae, there is a story of the polyneisa area that in the
                  beginning there was a single being, and God divided the being in halve,
                  where God cut is why we have belly buttons.
                  Now, I don't believe that. But I have also heard the New Agers say that there
                  is one right person for each of us.
                  Being the philosophic guy I am, I have wondered, wouldn't it be more likely we all
                  end up with the wrong people than that most of us end up with "our intended" or
                  our other halfs?
                  Yep., so this SOUL MATE thing has got to be bunk. I have met many women I can imagine being with for the rest of my life.
                  There is now only one I want to be with, but I have yet to meet her. So, I am picking and choosing what I want, not seeeking that one right person designed from before eternity.

                  I believe that we learn to be wonderful people so that some other wonderful person will
                  want to be with us. That is my belief. It is a choice of becoming.

                  Randy
                  -------|
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: For the women here...

                    Wed, July 2, 2008 - 1:55 AM
                    Randy Life is one long attempt to be the best we can be,, first off for ourself,,then we are able to share that with others,,what we hold true to our own self reflects out to others and we hope we find in kind return, that is not always the case. So we keep trying to figure out how to improve oueselves, learn from the mistakes,, because they are learning tools,,if it didn't work once,,do not do that again, or else you end up in a struggling loop,,

                    I personaly know 3 couples who are true soul mates,they are lovely beautiful people I am blessed to have as friends!!

                    I do wish you all the best with the one you are with!
                    • Re: For the women here...

                      Wed, July 2, 2008 - 12:44 PM
                      Soul mates? It is my belief that to have any relationship, whether friendship (male or female) or a love match, one has to defeat selfishness, The love of "self" is perhaps a fault we all need to address.
                      • Re: For the women here...

                        Wed, July 2, 2008 - 11:26 PM
                        James,, Selfishness, is different from loving one's self, If I can't find dignity, respect, trust, honesty in my self how can I share that with someone else? If I can't feel that for myself then how can I expect anyone to see that in me and return/share that with me?
                        Just my opinion,, which is not all that important ,,,
                        • Re: For the women here...

                          Thu, July 3, 2008 - 3:06 AM
                          Miss Phae

                          One difficulty lies in the fact that the word self-love has a double meaning. It can mean self-acceptance as well as self-centredness.
                          there are I believe two opposing ways in which a man can love himself: selflessly or selfishly. Only the first is self-preserving, while the second is self-destroying."

                          An example of self-love in the negative sense is illustrated by the Greek myth about Narcissus. He was a youth who, while gazing at his reflection in a well, fell in love with himself. Totally engrossed with his own image he tumbled into the water and drowned. From this myth the word narcissism is derived.

                          So I believe we are both right. You refer to the former, I was referring to the latter
  • Re: For the women here...

    Wed, July 2, 2008 - 1:57 PM
    I think "Cougar" is just anothre trendy word created for a phenomenon that is popular today, gone tomorrow. I mean it's not like the concept of May/December romance is new. I've dated a few younger men and it was way too high maintenance for the return. Of course older men have their issues, but at least I can understand those, lol.

    I'm also into just being me. I'd like to make a few changes for a healthier me, but these days, when I date, it's pretty much what you see is what you get, like it or lump it, lol.

    And I really don't know about soulmates anymore. I think we reach a point with someone where the good times outweigh the bad, the years together outnumber those apart, and you look up one day and realize this person has put up with a lotta crap, and is still by your side. I'd like to think there are some incredibly romantic moments sprinkled in there, too. If I were just looking for a guy to feed my soul, well I got that in spades. But a life mate? He's nowhere near that category. Maybe with time he will learn, who knows? Quite a leap of faith.
    • Re: For the women here...

      Wed, July 2, 2008 - 11:28 PM
      Mel, I am with you on that "COUGAR" is yet another trendy term for older women who seek out younger men, but hey younger men used to call us "Mrs. Robinsons",, he heee

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