I want to peg my man sooo bad but

topic posted Sun, June 20, 2010 - 8:14 PM by  Anna
We tried fingering and everytime I tried to talk dirty to him about it he just replies with a guess u could say a nervous laugh maybey this is a sign he isn't itno it ? Any suggestion anyone plz
posted by:
New Jersey
  • Re: I want to peg my man sooo bad but

    Mon, June 21, 2010 - 11:16 AM
    If he's really not into it he will probably say so - most guys aren't shy about saying that they don't want to peg if someone else brings it up.

    The nervous laugh coupled with his openness to anal play is a good sign. Don't show up wearing a harness and telling him to turn over just yet, since that would probably be too much too fast - there's still a lot of social baggage related to male anal receptive play. I'd say the next step is to try to introduce a hand-held toy, probably either a non-realistic dildo or plug.
  • Unsu...

    Re: I want to peg my man sooo bad but

    Mon, June 21, 2010 - 2:23 PM
    so what your saying is he like the finger but is a little nervous about taking a dildo. start small go to your local toy store and get the beginners kit ( I seen it mine) it has a thin dildo that is a little bigger then a finger and a harness. start by fingering him and getting him lose then use the dildo as a hand held and slowly insert it, and see how he feels about it then maybe he'll let you wear the harness and dildo together and peg him like you want to...
  • Re: I want to peg my man sooo bad but

    Thu, June 24, 2010 - 2:47 PM
    Hi Anna. I respectfully disagree with the other two guys who posted. I do agree with Scott that if he was not into it he would have said so. No guy is going to be shy about saying "No way"

    The fact that he laughed nervously is a sure sign that he is into it. The problem is that he is just too embarassed to say so. I know exactly how he feels. What is going through his head is "I really, really want her to do it, but there is no way that I can actually admit that I want it. It would be way too humiliating!"

    I disagree about the "taking it slow advice." I promise you - what you need to do is the exact opposite. Take charge of the situation. If you go to slowly and try to "build up" to it you are both probably going to be frustrated. He is going to be frustrated because (1) he does want you to do it but he is too embarassed to admit it, and (2) he wants you to take control and not make him tell you what to do and how to do it. This may seem strange, but having your girlfriend be too "nice" about it detracts from the experience, and nothing takes away from the experience like having your girlfriend constantly asking things like "Is this what you want? Is this ok? Do you want me to do it this way?"

    And you are going to be frustrated because he is never going to give you straightforward answers so you are always going to be worrying about whether he really wants to do it, or whether he likes it.

    I'm not saying to go out and buy the biggest schlong you can find, or don't talk about it at all, but here is my advise:

    1. Go ahead and buy yourself a harness and dildo. Don't ask him - just do it.

    2. Get a smaller size dildo to start with. Girls are always afraid that they are going to hurt their guy and worrying about that is very distracting. It's hard to have fun when you are constantly worrying about whether you are going to hurt him. If you use a smaller dildo you can rest assured that you can't hurt him, and that will really make the experience a lot more fun for both of you. There are some "kits" that come with two dildos - a small one and a slightly bigger one. These are good to start with.

    3. Some night, when he is laying in bed, go into the bathroom strap it on, come out, smile, and say something like "tongiht we're going to try something new." He is going to react one of two ways. Either he is NOT going to want to do it - in which case he will not hesitate to tell you and you can just laugh it off and say "ok - I thought it would be fun but that's alright." Or, he IS going to want to do it, in which case he is probably going to blush and not say anything. JUST BECAUSE HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING DOESN'T MEAN HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO IT!

    4. After that, take charge. And by that, I don't mean throw him down, or roleplay that you are some bitchy dominatrix. What I mean by that is don't ask him stuff like "Do you want to do it?" "Are you sure you want to do it?" or the worst of all, "What do you want me to do?" Just proceed as if you have decided that you are going to do it and the matter has already been decided. A good way to proceed would be to climb into bed and start kissing him and making out. After a bit or foreplay and heavy petting, gently but firmly guide him into the position you want him in. I would suggest guiding him to the doggie style position or standing him up and bending him over the bed.

    5. After you have him into position, simply lub up and slide it in (slowly and gently). Don't talk - don't ask him a bunch of questions. If he says anything, listen to him, but don't keep asking him a bunch of questions like "Like this?" "Is this ok?" "I'm not hurting you am I?" If he is uncomfortable he will let you know. Otherwise, assume that he is just fine.

    6. Relax and have fun. Don't worry about whether he is enjoying it or not. Girls always do that - they worry way too much about whether he likes it or whether it feels good to him. We (the guys) can tell that you are thnking that and it is distracting. We get turned on when you are having fun back there. So relax and focus on your enjoyment. He will tell you if it doesn't feel good or he wants you to stop.

    So that's my advice. Don't go slow and talk about and ask a bunch of questions and start with a regular vibrator and work up to a strapon. You and he are both just going to be frustrated. Assume that he wants to do it, go get yourself a nice strapon with a meduim-small dildo, and one night put it on and gently but firmly take your guy and peg him.

    ing to With this activity, the guy wants you (the girl) to take charge. He is not going to be comfortable
    • Unsu...

      Re: I want to peg my man sooo bad but

      Fri, June 25, 2010 - 6:20 AM
      I agree to almost all of Daniel's post, but you can't just bend a guy over and ram a dildo in his ass, especially a guy who has never had anything penis sized suck in there before. so yes taking it slow does apply here, you don't want to bend him over, ram a dildo up his ass and have him scream in pain that will be the end of him letting you touch him down there at all. believe me I know, the first couple of times I did it to myself I went too fast and it wasn't pleasurable at all. you want to bend him over, slowly insert a well lubed dildo and hear him scream in ecstasy, once I started inserting slowly it was way more intense and felt a lot better. and lets face it, it is about you both enjoying the sex isn't it? then, as you both gain experience you can go bigger and faster once he is used to being on the receiving end.
    • Re: I want to peg my man sooo bad but

      Fri, June 25, 2010 - 9:04 AM
      Daniel is right about many guys not being willing to verbally ask for pegging. I was in that camp, worrying about whether she would think that it was a rejection of her and what she would think of me. If the woman takes the initiative it is really sexy (provided it's done in a respectful manner and not too FemDom and slave) BUT -

      I still say work up to it. When you're pegging it's harder to control the dildo. This is a combination of musculature (the pelvis muscles don't have the fine control that the hands do), inexperience (once you get a harness practice "jacking off" several times to get the feel for how it moves, and make sure you do it for an extended time), and the harness holding the dildo a little more loosely. Another thing to keep in mind is that really good pegging requires a dildo of a certain size - a smaller one will slip out during use (short), and a narrow one can be hard to control (floppy in the O-ring and not stiff enough). It's hard to tell what his reaction will be if his first toy experience is uncomfortable, and that's why I say take it slow. Get something small and hand-held, and make sure he enjoys anal play enough to give pegging a few chances. Once he's comfortable with a 1-1/4 to 1-1/2" diameter dildo of about 6" long (you wind up inserting about 5" during pegging, so the whole 6" doesn't have to go in) -btw I'd recommend smooth rather than textured - THEN it's time to show up with the harness.
  • Re: I want to peg my man sooo bad but

    Sat, June 26, 2010 - 7:30 AM
    I completely agree with your comment that you can't just bend a guy over and ram a dildo in his ass, and I also agree that taking it slow is the way to go. The word "ram" should not even be in your vocabulary when you first start out. Slow and gentle is the way to go. But at the same time - the word "firm" should go through your head. Not just in a physical sense but in a mental sense. Anna - from your post the biggest obsticle right now seems to be that you really want to do it but you aren't sure if he does.

    Since he has not said no I think he is just too embarrassed to admit that he wants to do it (believe me - if he didn't want to do it he would not have been shy about saying no!) That being the case, the best thing you can do is recognize that his embarassment is going to inhibit him and help him get through the embarassment by taking the initiative and taking the lead. Again, I'm not talking about acting like some kind of dominatrix, or throwing him over the bed and ramming it in him. Rather, I advise you to adopt the attitude of "If he wants me to stop I will, but otherwise this is something I want to do so we are going to do it." I PROMISE you that if you take the lead and gently but firmly guide him through it the first time or two, he will think you arer the greatest girlfriend ever and you won't be sorry.

    On the size of the dildo - I agree - it takes quite a bit to get the perfect size - and getting the perfect size it incredibly important. I have found that a dildo that is too short is not quite satisfying and one that is two long can be painful unless the girl is really careful. I have found that the only half an inch can make all of the difference. My advise is to start with one that is smaller. If you use one that is too long it can be painful to him and if you hurt him then he obviously won't enjoy it, but just as important, you will become afriad of hurting him and instead of relaxing and enjoying it, you will be constantly worried about not going too fast or going to deep, and it will be more work than fun. Start with a small one so you can put the pain thing completely out of your mind and focus on other thngs. After a time or two you can start experimenting with larger ones until you find the one that is just the right size.
  • DrJ
    offline 7

    Re: I want to peg my man sooo bad but

    Sat, July 3, 2010 - 11:11 PM
    Hi Anna..I am glad that you want to try this with him and I agree that most probably he really does want to try this...but he's a little shy about admitting it to you. Maybe, you could bring it up during a sex discussion...specifically about each others fantasies. You could bring it up like its one of YOUR fantasies. If you guys have this level of communication...I would try it. That way you take the pressure off of him because it's something you're wanting to do. I remember my girlfriend and I started talking about this because she always said she wished she could make me feel the pleasure that she felt when we had normal me-to-her sex. Slowly but surely, we went from her fingers, to toys, to a strap-on.

    That brings me to a question, which probably has popped up in this tribe many times before...but, it makes me curious to WHY YOU want to peg him "sooo bad". Good Luck and hope to hear your POV.

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