i wouldn't say hurt, but i do find myself getting sucked in by crazies. i always want to think the best of someone. do it in real life too. luckily, in real life i am married to someone with a very finely attuned 'flake radar'.

Well, the good thing, if you can call it good, is that your bullshit meter becomes finely tuned. I’ve got to where I can spot “them” within the first few exchanges. Most recently some guy was chatting me up and I knew in my gut he was just a player. Sure enough, it wasn’t long before I was comparing notes with an online galpal. I can’t say the situation hurt me because I had already prepared myself for it. It did make me roll my eyes. What a waste of my time.

I really don’t reach out to many people online anymore, at least not to write long emails to, chat, talk on phone, etc. I have maybe five online friends I communicate regularly with, and have for some time now. I prefer to keep my circle small and quality!

<<So I don't know about any of you, but I keep getting hurt by getting emotionally attached to the wrong people online, like way wrong. If only you knew. Its like the same person keeps reincarnating over and over again in a different body. Has anyone else had this experience? >>

Not really.. or perhaps better still.. not yet :) Teehee....

The jury tends to stay out for a long time on people I meet in tribe.. in some ways that makes me even more vulnerable because I tend to commit strongly to people once my mental jury comes back and gives the person a tick....

I think the hardest thing I have had to deal with is when people I am close to change their tribe usage from heavy to light. People I used to have long conversations to daily can suddenly get a new job, partner or some other circumstances arise that make them reprioritise the importance of getting onto tribe and consequently talking to me. It can be hard to take (its a form of loss - and loss can trigger grief) - but totally out of my control and a lot of such people are happier because they have more exciting things to do in their life than sit in front of a computer and talk to me :) It is something I need to just accept rather than feel hurt about..

Another thing which can be emotionally challenging is when they form stronger relationships with other tribers than the one they had with me... but once again, they are generally happier for that and as a friend I have to tell myself I should be happy for them too :)

Probably the hardest thing to take is when people I don't have contacts for unsub or disappear - especially when I am aware that they have problems in their life. It leaves an uncertain concern about their welfare and if I have formed a strong relationship with them - it tends to worry me and take up unconstructive head space..

Speaking from the experience of other tribe friends - I think the hardest emotional attachments to loose are those severed by conscious (or unconscious) sabotage from third parties spreading rumours or untruths about them. What is easily missed is that such action is often motivated by jealousy - which is not an emotion that my emotional radar seems good at pick up.. or perhaps more accurately - it is not something I trust when I suspect it..

I guess in some ways I tend to try and have a conscious awareness of what attracts be to certain folk here - realising who they are, why I like them, and also trying not to wear rose coloured glasses about my friends and acquaintances. I try to do that here and in RL - and accept any idiosyncrasies which might cause me any pain - or not accept them and keep some emotional distance because of that..

But really the initial post seems about falling for the same "trap" or personality type over and over - and I tend to be pretty reflective about individuals and also have a strong attraction to spending time on-line with "well balanced" folk which is probably allows me to avoid what your talking about Miss Pixie Styx

Pixie dear,I love you for your sincerity and honesty but you like me I'm sure has fallen prey to the unknown.
I have fallen love to a woman from London that I still truely love and feel I have broken her soul due to the reality of cyber space and my sincerity.I have some ongoing issues in my life that must be addressed first well before I can pursue this dream I call real love....and I will continue to due so until I know,but I believe its real.
So I am sure you have found a few and thats beautiful,keep your chin up and believe.Dis-regard all that you hear from others and that someone special will appear for you one day.Loving you sister-stay beautiful.

I have had a similar experience, but it's a little different for me. Not that long after I started chatting with people online, someone sent me an email that said something to the effect of ... many people will enter your life. Some for a reason, some for a season but only 1 or 2 for a lifetime. I didn't believe it at first, but since then, people have come and gone. Later I read a book that said something to the effect of everyone a person meets has something to teach them or something to learn from them. Combined with the previous statement, I came to the conclusion that when a person learns or teaches whatever it is, they'll go their separate way. It doesn't have to be hostile but it often is.

For this reason, when I keep meeting the same people over and over again (in effect), I chalk it up to my having not learned some lesson. It's my job to figure out what the lesson is and learn it so I can move on and stop meeting these same people.

I don't get emotionally attached to anyone anymore so it's rare that I get hurt. Like Aunt Bea, I like to believe that everyone is good but my cynical side says everyone has a bad side that could rear its head at any point. This just means that I now take things slowly, always keeping my guard up and allowing only a few special people into my head and heart. If those people decide to walk away for whatever reason, I have no regrets and I hope they don't either. Since I got old enough to know better, this has happened only a couple of times. Each time it happens, it gets harder and harder to make it into my heart and/or head. I still try to believe that everyone is good and I still try to treat people as individuals and how I'd like to be treated myself. I'm just less and less prepared to give all of everything I have and am to most people because most relationships (on whatever level) just won't last for whatever reason.

I like getting to meet lots of different people on the internet. I've made a few good friends and lots of pleasant acquaintances.

i have this experience both irl and online.

it's all about restraint. because i am, in short, an emotional slut.