Welcome Natalie!

Yes, first of all- it does take juggling and some sacrifices to be able to make it all work... children themselves are a full-time job and so it requires some work to make it all "fit." One thing I would say, though, is you DO NOT have to make a choice, one or the other. If you love performing, singing/songwriting- find the balance between your child and doing what you love. Obviously if given the choice, you'd have to pick your son- but luckily, you are not having to choose. Here's how I make my life work:

I work a "regular" full-time job during the day in order to provide financially for my daughter. She has a sitter who is a teacher and I know she is being taken care of well and being taught instead of being plopped down in front of a TV or something. Then, I spend tons of quality time with her as soon as we get home, as does my husband. Once she goes to bed at night, both of us are musicians and songwriters, so we take a few hours to do "our stuff" before bed. On the weekends, we play occasionally with our band and every month or so, we go on the road (take her along) for festivals and shows like that. We tie in club dates to go with it, and always bring someone else along to help care for her while we're on stage.

This works for me. Your balance may be completely different. I know one part I am lucky in is that I am married to a wonderful man who takes as good care of Isabella as I do- not like a man who says taking care of her is "babysitting"... Have you ever seen guys like that? It's ridiculous!

So, basically, for me.... I could never give up performing completely. I used to tour full-time until I decided to have my baby. Then I took a whole year off to be pregnant, worry about only having a healthy baby, and took a few months after to get back in physical and emotional shape before I started up again. I missed being on stage, I missed writing songs, I missed being in the music social scene. That was what I was used to... so after Bella, I knew I had to get back into it- because I loved it so much. It never meant that I did not love or adore my baby, but everyone needs other things in their lives besides their kids. Whether for us it's performing, singing, writing, hanging out in music circles, whatever... there are certain "needs" that people who love to perform have... needs that I don't think are met with raising children. So, I made the best balance for me, my husband, and my daughter, and you know what... she is still my main priority... if she's sick and I have a gig scheduled- the gig is cancelled and I do my job as a mother first. But when things are going well and everyone is feeling good, my place is on the stage.

I hope this helps. Feel free to either reply back on this thread or email me personally. I am trying to get the word out about this tribe. I know there are tons of women in our situation. We just need to find them, and get them joined in. I know this will be a really fun and informative tribe when it gets going. I am really looking forward to getting to know you and all the other mama's that will be joining us!

Take care and I hope you keep in touch.

Rhonda

www.rhondalee.net