This year was my first at BM and I brought Blue Bear with me he was a great friend and often accompanied me this last year in particular.

He had belonged to my Grandmother who died several years ago. I was able to spend almost 2 months with her while other family members traveled. My younger sister gave Blue Bear to her before she left her home of 50 years to move in with my aunt & uncle. At the time we laughed a bit thinking a teddy bear was an odd gift for a 96 year old very formal lady. She really loved him and held him on the airplane ride to AZ. When I came to stay with her 6 months later I found her in a sad state my relatives were not carring for her properly and I had to take her to the hospital where she was admitted. She was very scared, confused and anxious, I stayed with her as much as possible and asked her what she wanted from home. The only thing she asked for was Blue Bear. In the days that followed she would often stroke him and use him to convey her emotions, "We don't like it here do we Blueberry? The time I had with her was very precious and I was so glad she could take comfort in something so simple as a bear. It became clear that a bear could be far from simple.

My wedding to a partner of 6 years was held only a few months after my visit with Grandma Ann, she was not able to attend but did get to see lots of photos. After all the hoopla was over and we settled down to open our wedding gifts I was in for a big surprise. a few friends knew I had been with Grandma out of state but I had not really gone into much detail about the visit and certainly had not mentioned the Blue Bear with purple tipped fur. As I opened a lovely gift of Colbalt blue pentegram etched wine glasses from a truly angelic friend Christa, something else caught my eye under the tissue paper as I slowly removed it I found myself looking directly into the eyes of Blue Bear ! The exact kind of bear as Grandma's. I later asked Christa why she had picked the Bear as a gift and she said she just had the strangest feeling when she was shopping and walked past a toy store and saw him in the window. "Something was telling me I had to get him for you". I hugged her and told her the story of my Grandmother's bear.

During the years that followed he stayed in the bedroom with us. My Grandmother passed on a little over 2 years after my last visit, we were able to speak to one another and our last words were ones of love. When my Father asked if there was anything I would like to have as Grandma had had many lovely antiques, jewelry, ect. I asked only for the bear.

When my husband and I divorced I left one bear with him and took the other. It was a very hard time and I often found myself sleeping with and talking to Blue Bear like I had seen my Grandmother do and this made me feel very close to her as if she was with me. This years trip to Burning Man took place on what would have been my 11th wedding anniversary, in fact my ex sister in law missed our actual wedding to go to her first Burning Man. I now know why! So much transformation, joy and wonder occured for me there and Blue Bear was with me, he even rang the bell himself at the main gate, pole danced at the Flamingo. A new friend and another true angel Christian Cadillac from the Flamingo Lounge worked the burn line for Burn night and took Blue bear with him to watch.
I went to the temple several times during the week & again Sunday after much soul searching and the comment of a friend, "You are leaving Blue Bear at the temple aren't you? I realized that he was right I had been holding my Grandmother here and now that I was over much of the darkness that had shrouded the past year and dancing once more in strength and beauty I needed to let her go and also in so doing cut the last unseen ties binding me to my ex . The hard part was letting it actually out of my hands I had no idea just how I was going to bear ( excuse me) parting with the bear.

My angel came in the form of a golden headed little boy, he and his parents were standing near the outer left altar (approaching from the city). As he saw me walking holding the bear he smiled and as I came closer raised his arms as I held out Blue Bear his parents were very attentive and seemed a little unsure of what to think of a strange woman handing him a bear, I gave it to him and explained that it was for the temple, I was kind of hoping secretly that he would want to keep it and I said it was fine if he did. But the little one knew better and without anyone saying a thing he hugged Blue Bear walked right up and set him in the middle of the altar, and waved goodbye.

I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to that family, it was great to see a little one. I had been missing the sight and sound of children and had only seen a few over the days and not one that small he was walking but not more than 4. I could feel the wonderful connection and love you all have for each other and I was so blessed that you allowed me to be included in that circle if only for a brief moment.