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RESOLVE EMOTIONAL CONTRETEMPS FROM POLY LOVE-INS by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

topic posted Fri, December 26, 2008 - 9:30 AM by  Unsubscribed
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RESOLVE EMOTIONAL CONTRETEMPS FROM POLY LOVE-INS by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

I’m reading an advanced copy of “Gaia and the New Politics of Love: Notes for a Poly Planet”, by Serena Anderlini, who was one of our keynoters at the 2007 World Polyamory Association Harbin Polyamory Conference. I’m in awe.

Serena’s new book’s is a polemic that can shake the world into loving survival, and I’ll have lots more to say about it in future posts. Right now, I abridge a couple of paragraphs to give you a feel for this stirring manifesto:

“Bi and poly ogies are emotionally connecting orgies: orgies of oxytocin where a symbiotic energy prevails; where the spasm of turgidity dissolves in ecstatic duration....The combined practice of bi and poly love empowers individual players to consciously navigate its flow and become consensually immersed in the movement of the symbiotic energy generated by our aural, astral and physical bodies at play.

“When both bi and poly paradigms function together in the orgy flow, No one has control over what develops, yet all trust that it will not destroy what is already in place; no one presumes exclusivity, yet all are aware of possible temporary exclusions ensuing from developing bonds and relationships....Emotions become manifest as sexual and erotic play.

“The correspondence between the emotional and erotic realms enables players to maximize the love energy they share.... and enable the creation of networks of emotional sustainability that result in symbiotic plateaus of enhanced awareness. These plateaus involve crises that manifest at certain points in the network whose collective management can productively turn them into opportunities for deeper levels of symbiosis [and] move the entire network on a higher level of awareness that enables more focused and productive experiments in the management of shared emotional resources ...The network unctions like a sustainable ecosystem for all these interpersonal energies. It creates sustainablity, balance and of resources for all involved.”

The success of poly orgies–we call them love-ins–as growth machines depends upon successful management of the emotions evoked in the flow of the sexualloving. What we in the Lessin Pod use as our management paradigm after our love-ins is a gestalt/centering encounter the next morning. Each participant takes a turn expressing unfinished emotional business, appreciations, learning from the love-in.

Any unfinished encounters are completed using Voice Dialogue bonding resolution below.

I tell each person with unresolved emotions from the love-in to take a turn and tell them:

Let where you’re sitting be the position for your Center, where you hear all your inner voices.

Recall, then tell me when you felt pain, fear, insecurity as we related to [I name the other person involved in the unresolved emotional situation].

Say how you and s/he interacted in parent/child ways.

What bothered you about how s/he acted in relation to you?

Move to a cushion from which you'll roleplay him/her. Pretend you're him/her.; roleplay him/her.. Exaggerate what s/he said or did. Say what you, as him/her, fear, think and suspect.

Now move to a cushion where you'll be yourself in relation to him/her.

Respond to me as yourself again and say more than you already said to him/her; say how you feel toward him/her. Express your feelings, irrational thoughts and impulses; exaggerate your feelings; express more.

Now return to your original cushion, the Center.

[When the person moves, say,] Say what vulnerabilities--feelings of insecurity, fear, hurt--you and s/he activate in each other.

How does he/she represent a disowned voice for you?

Describe your relation with him/her in parent-child terms. Expand what you said before about how you and s/he shift between enacting parent and child roles vis-a-vis each other.

In what ways does the pattern you've described with him/her re-create part of the pattern you had with the people who raised you or a brother or sister?

Stand behind me now, facing the seat in which you enacted voice within you that you projected on him/her. Maintain neutrality; observe objectively. As I review the main things you said in the disowned voice, sense its energy ### [I Summarize what person said.]

Now return from standing in the Witness position to the seat for your Center.

How can you, Center, nourish your vulnerable, Inner Child without stifling your other voices?

How can you integrate the disowned voices the other person represented into your life?

PLEASE SHARE ON THIS SITE HOW DO YOU CONDUCT YOUR SEXUALLOVING SESSIONS & WHAT DO YOU DO TO RESOLVE EMOTIONALLY UNFINISHED ISSUES THAT CAME UP DURING YOUR LOVING
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