SLOW BAKED LEMON BRINE PENISES

Ingredients
----------------
12 severed human penises (use 2 penises if they are of impressive size)
1 cup lemon juice
1 cup water
8 ounces rocksalt
40 ounces of King Cobra brand malt liquor
One large bundle of mustard greens
50 #2 pencils
one quart buttermilk
a bottle tabasco sauce
4 soiled wigs

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1. Mix lemon juice, water, and rocksalt and let chill for twenty three minutes
2. Marinade penises in lemon/brine mixture overnight
3. Preheat oven to 300 degrees
4. Wrap each penis in mustard leaves until only the glans area is showing
5. Place penises in a well greased baking pan
6. Bake for 6 hours.
7. While penises are baking, take the pencils and - using whatever pencil sharpener you normally use for cooking - sharpen each pencil until there is nothing but the eraser. Discard the erasers, keeping the pencil shavings.
8. Combine pencil shavings, buttermilk, and whole bottle of tabasco in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil then reduce heat. Place a lid over the saucepan and let this mixture simmer for two hours. When done, place immediately into a seperate container and let chill to 40 degree F.
9. When penises are done cooking, take each soiled wig and place it on a plate. Take three penises, arranging them to form a triangle shape.
10 Take a hefty portion of the chilled wood shaving/buttermilk/tabasco slurry, piling it high in the middle of the triangle formed by the penises.
11. For optimal presentation, bring plates to the table and then garnish tableside with 10 ounces of King Cobra, drizzling the malt liquor in zig zag patterns over the dish.
12. Enjoy !

Serves 4.

SLOW BAKED LEMON BRINE PENISES

Ingredients
----------------
12 severed human penises (use 2 penises if they are of impressive size)
1 cup lemon juice
1 cup water
8 ounces rocksalt
40 ounces of King Cobra brand malt liquor
One large bundle of mustard greens
50 #2 pencils
one quart buttermilk
a bottle tabasco sauce
4 soiled wigs

-----------------------------------

1. Mix lemon juice, water, and rocksalt and let chill for twenty three minutes
2. Marinade penises in lemon/brine mixture overnight
3. Preheat oven to 300 degrees
4. Wrap each penis in mustard leaves until only the glans area is showing
5. Place penises in a well greased baking pan
6. Bake for 6 hours.
7. While penises are baking, take the pencils and - using whatever pencil sharpener you normally use for cooking - sharpen each pencil until there is nothing but the eraser. Discard the erasers, keeping the pencil shavings.
8. Combine pencil shavings, buttermilk, and whole bottle of tabasco in a small saucepan. Bring to a boil then reduce heat. Place a lid over the saucepan and let this mixture simmer for two hours. When done, place immediately into a seperate container and let chill to 40 degree F.
9. When penises are done cooking, take each soiled wig and place it on a plate. Take three penises, arranging them to form a triangle shape.
10 Take a hefty portion of the chilled wood shaving/buttermilk/tabasco slurry, piling it high in the middle of the triangle formed by the penises.
11. For optimal presentation, bring plates to the table and then garnish tableside with 10 ounces of King Cobra, drizzling the malt liquor in zig zag patterns over the dish.
12. Enjoy !

Serves 4.