do they get enough time alone when you are home or busy? ronan is probably just used to having only you there to care for him. he loves his daddy, but evenings are hard for little ones. the stresses of the day have culminated & sometimes they just need to let it out. with a less-experienced papa on his own adding his worrying & stressing to the mix doesn't help. maybe they could go for a walk to cool out together.

at our house, solomon wakes up around 8am & tim gets up with him. mind you, he's already had an hour's worth of morning nursey while i drift in & out, so he's up & ready to go. tim makes coffee & reads his book while i sleep another hour or two (i know, i'm lucky) & they have one or two hours in which it's just them. i think this sets up for sol being less stressed out if/when i need to be away for any length of time.

i went back to work at 12 weeks pp ... it was HORRIBLE at the time, but i am so glad we all got through it with lots of worry on my part, some tears on abigail's part and lots of practice and encouragement on daddy's part, otherwise at 20 months i's be stuck in the house. ick.

anyway, it's hard and stressful for baby and daddy, but TOTALLY NECESSARY! whether it's work or personal time, the time they spend away from you is really important daddy/baby bonding time. they'll get to know each other's moods and needs .. daddy will become confident and baby will become trusting of someone other than you.

keep going!

I have dance class three nights a week, which total about 10 hours a week. During this time, my husband takes care of Cam and puts him to bed. The biggest thing I did was give dad the tentative schedule of what to expect for the evening, and then butt out, offering advice only when asked. It turned out that me worrying was actually causing my poor husband more stress because it said that I didn't believe in him.

I suggest them spending more time together, whether you are with them or not. My hubby also comes home from work and takes the baby for an hour while I make dinner without a little body underfoot. Most of the time this means reading books on the floor 10 feet away from me, but daddy's in charge. The best thing they do together is go for walks. Just strap the baby in a stroller or carrier (we preferred (before he got so big) a carrier or wrap because it promotes closeness and more bonding) and get outside. Even a 15 minute walk can do wonders for dad and baby in the mood department. Mostly, just consistency and repitition, and patience. They won't get better at it if they don't do it.

Good luck!

have him wear your robe or something that has your smell on it. paul wore my nighties for about a month when we started having him put cookie to bed (and take a bottle from him). it sounds masochistic and crazy, but it totally worked for her.

Thats is a hard time of night for little ones but you being away then could be a really great thing. If daddy and ronan get to a place where they are both comfortable with dad putting him to bed it might just have a really healthy effect on your families sleep habits. Whether you co-sleep or not having someone other than you with the ability to put him down for the night will afford you the freedom to have some time for your self care. And that is a gift for everyone! It might not be easy now but they will find their groove *if you let them.* It's all about building the baby daddy bond so that he is a source of comfort , again that will happen only if you let them, and that bond is also a gift for everyone:)
Take it from me, a sleep depraved woman in the midst of trying to do this exact thing with 10 month olds: If you want to go to your women's group or do anything in the evenings in the next year or so you're gonna have to face this issue at some point. I say do it now because in your own words going to this group is much needed and giving yourself what you need is only gonna make you a better mother to both daddy and baby.
Much love to you and your family,
Courtney