Welcome William and Nina!

I'm glad to hear that they are doing well. It can be such a traumatic experience to have your baby(ies) suddenly ripped from you. I didn't find much help in books or websites. The best thing that I did was going to that NICU everyday, sometimes staying overnight and holding Anaya, talking to her, reading to her, singing to her, bonding with her. It is great for the babies to hear mamas voices, it helps them grow. I felt so lost at the beginning and couldn't believe that this tiny creature was my child, I physically and emotionally felt as though she had died.

Is she trying to nurse? That can be a hard road but I am so glad that we tried, even though it didn't work. I pumped and Anaya got breast milk for the first four months. That really helped me feel like I was doing something to facilitate her well being, helped me feel more like her mom when I felt so incapable. The nuzzle nursing helped stimulate my motherly hormones and really helped the bonding process. Another thing that helped me was remembering that this too shall pass. It sounds as though the babies are healthy and that is the most important thing. I remember having times of anger that things didn't go as planned, that my child had to be in the hospital and not home in my arms but I remember other times when I was so thankful that we have western medicine because it is quite possible we could have died.

As I write this I am crying. Sometimes I just go about my day and all is well but still when someone talks about preemies or births I feel this ache in me. I am not expecting that to go away anytime soon. Crying is normal, it is important. I was lucky to have a loving friend at my side who understood that she couldn't really make me feel better in those moments, she just was there while i felt the hard stuff. I do remember one day, about a week after Anaya's birth, we were sitting together and all of a sudden we started laughing over the silliest little things. It hurt like a bitch because of my stitches but it felt so good. No one was trying to make me feel better but that day marked a day when I knew my little girl would be okay and it was okay for me to start healing, so we laughed, about nothing, about everything. Your sister is lucky to have you and my advice to you is just be there and let her feel what she needs to feel.

ICAN has some really great resources on their website : www.ican-online.org/recovery/home

Check out the links on the right hand side of this page - these were really nice and handy post c-section!

I've heard good things about ICAN. I think the biggest thing, especially with twins is that someone is around to the the FIRST 2 weeks or so. It can be so overwhelming and exhausting that postpartum depression can take root pretty easy. It took me quite a few months to be able to accept that 'I gave birth' to the babies instead of a dr. having done it. Yeah, I think the best is that you make sure she has help and gets out of the house and does fun things with and with out the babies so that her whole being feels good. Depression around babies and birth issues is a slippery slope worth avoiding if you can prevent it by helping to keep her more healthy, happy and rested:)

I didn't really feel like I missed out on the birth process because I had a c-section. I did have nearly two days of labor before I had the c-section, and would have continued to labor except that his heart rate was decelerating. If I get pregnant again, I would like to do a VBAC. I feel like the c -section was the best way to ensure that my son was born healthy.

What I wish someone had told me: that I'd smell my flesh burning during the operation; that the first time I sat up afterward would hurt so freaking bad!!, and be so bloody!

as a recent cesarean mama who always envisioned a vaginal birth, i have had to find some resources to try to deal with it. everyone will deal with it differently - some mamas don't feel a loss, but many do. it is very common for people to have the "at least you have a healthy baby" attitude, but it's not that simple.

ICAN has a national chapter for online stuff, but also has many local chapters for women to get together and share. i still can't talk much about it because it hurts so much, but these resources are out there. and very helpful for whatever the cesarean mama needs support with. and it can become more painful as time goes on, so it's there for whenever...

here's hoping for a healing time, physically and emotionally. much love to the new little ones, too.

welcome little William and Nina!

I had an emergency c section, and I'm still a little mad about it, and how it came about. However, my son was born 2 days before I was due, and was able to stay with me in our hospital room. I really was blessed with that....I didn't read any of the sections about cesareans in any of the books I had, I expected to have a vaginal birth up until the doctor told me she needed to take me into surgery....I think the part that made it easy was knowing he was OK, and was with us. I can't even imagine what it must be like to see your newborn hooked up to all those machines...But, just being there and bonding with them will be important...for your sister and for your niece and nephew. Nursing helped me bring down the uterine swelling, and the bonding....it hurt like a mutha at first but it was worth it. Also, she should continue doing her kegels. For a while, that will be the extent of her exercise routine, but they definitely help! Almost 9 weeks after my son was born, I'm back at work and lifting 15+ lbs.
I'll pray for William and Nina for their swift exit from the NICU.
Congrats Auntie! :-)

thanks so much for your good wishes, advice and for sharing your stories, mommas!

i've invited sarah to tribe and ppmammas, hopefully she'll join us <fingerscrossed!>