20. Ride the elevator and gently hit yourself on the head and keep saying"quit talking to me".
21. When riding the elevator, every time it gets to a floor, say "ding".
22. Whenever you give someone your credit card, tell them that God gave you the money 'cause your the Savior.
23. When paying for your gas, ask where the Full service pumps are.
24. After paying for your groceries, ask where the kitchen is.

Funny!

#5 is kind of mean!

#9 - I've done it: I didn't like alot of the people at my old job - they thought they were important. Sometimes they wouldn't say hello to me when I said hello first. So, I used to skip in between the buildings instead of walk.

I want to do #3 and #10.

Who dares me?!

Oh my god this is hilarius. I am going to do #1, #2, and #16. Thanks for helping us keep sane.

Sick as it may be...I 'll probably do something like number #5...hehehheheh. Actually I did do that years ago...

#5 is REALLY cruel!

I've ACTUALLY done a variant of #4 - I threw away my INBOX, leaving only "OUT," just to see what they would do. The top response was leaving it on my keyboard, followed closely by leaving it on my chair. When I was IN my office they would kind of tip toe in and delicately ask, "Do you have an INBOX?" I would stare blankly and ask, "Didn't you get the memo?" They all thought I was insane anyway. Eventually they got "creative" and would lay the "IN" folders sideways across the OUTBOX...

I really like #7 too! Surefire way to get to go have a "talk" with HR. Ha ha.

The thing about getting older is that I care a whole lot less about what people think of me. When my preteen daughter sometimes says, "Daddy, you're weird!," I tell her I rejoice in my weirdness, I reject the common and mundane. I think secretly she admires this trait in me. Hopefully, when I'm older, she doesn't place me in an institution.

When someone asks you to do something, ask if they want that super-sized.

Run one lap around the office at top speed.

Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on and off 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

While a co-worker is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, PLEASE! All of you just shut up!".

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

In a co-worker's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and donut, smash each donut with your fist.

During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Send this website to everyone in your address book, even if they have sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.


Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think".

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Ask people what sex they are.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite sex).

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.

Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week !!!"


Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."

Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here!" Insurance Stories