I was working as a short order cook at a little place in college and basically, I was one of the only two men who worked there. The rest of the staff were either high school/college aged women or much older women who had been doing this kind of work all their lives. (and I might add, were the dirtiest minded ladies too...which made them really fun to work with)

Anyway, I was working with their older lady named Shirley on busy Friday night and we were getting swamped. I was cooking and Shirley was waiting on tables. In the middle of this busy rush, as Shirley is bringing another order back to me, she looks at me and says "I haven't had this much fun since grandma got her tit caught in the ringer!"

I just lost it laughing and asked her what the hell that meant to which she told me the story of how her grandmother actually got her breast caught in an old ringer washing machine. "And it was black and blue for a month", she added.

I swear that still cracks me up to this day (15+ years later).

My sister-in-law has a bowel problem,
she said "It's really shitty". LOL still...

First job out of college was doing reservations for a fancy boutique hotel in Boston. I had this British dude, that was drunk or something, trying to convince me that we weren't sold out for Marathon weekend and that we had a room for him for a bachelor party.

I kept telling him A) we don't do bachelor parties and B) we were completely sold out.

The more we kept going in the same idiotic circle, the more belligerent he got. I politely told him that there was nothing more I could do for him and that I was going to hang up the phone. He called back and asked again for a room, not realizing I was the same person, and we start all over again. This time he calls me a bitch, then he calls me a fucking c*nt and demands to talk to my manager. That was my last straw. I asked him to hold and a coworker walks by, I ask her if she can pretend to be my manager cause I have this "fucking asshole prick on the line that doesn't understand I'm the reservation mananger."

All of the sudden I hear over the speaker phone in British accent: "What? I can bloody fuckin' hear you!!!"

Whoops I hit the speaker button, not the hold button.

Sends me into a fit of giggles still 5 years later.

Actually not me but my sister...

My sister moved to town and was living with me and my ex and needed to go to the gyno so I suggested mine. He was a terrific doctor and had delivered my daughter. So we all went down because it was about 8 months since I had my daughter and thought he would want to see her. My sister went in to his office. He explained what they would do and all prior to the exam. In there she told him she was my sister and that Kayley and I were outside the office waiting in the waiting room. He told her he saw the resemblance and then came out to see us as my sister prepped for her exam.

He went into the exam room with my sister in full stirrups mode. He sat down to examine her and said "NOW I see the resemblance!" She busted out laughing and the nurse had no idea why....:) That still cracks me up he said that!

"the Easter bunny came on your bed"

Spoken by highschools sweethart's mother....right at the dinner table with all the relatives....

20 years ago...


Amy:-)