That's fine. I am told that by my girlfriends who listen to me speak that my heart expresses its desire to find true love. Not only that, I am told to seek true love, by my clergy friends. So my desire is to silence my mouth, and observe my heart. I don't want to seek true love. I want to attract it. I am also told by clergy friends that the men I want to be with seem to want to control me, so I have to sit with that. I often hear "you messages" as opposed to "I messages" from the men I am attracted to, so I need to work on my own communication skills. That way I hope to attract a man with good communication skills, who is assertive, not aggressive. That is my belief system. What do you think?

I needed my wife as none other when we met & significantly I realized this sets me up for what the entirety of life will reach for going forward. Loneliness is really upsetting if it is clear to you life has meaning yet you can't quite write yourself in the book of dreams...life et al. Lost in process gave colorful ideals for me, yet I had seen the ease with which the other was resolved in contentment because they'd been understood. And I wanted that--as now I do. Life is a long distance run as if the river of life with which I live in proximity yields the slow fidelity and thus its irony that catching up--as I am inevitably socially--is a solitarian achievement. Thus, I haven't lost by secreted identity in the hrs of meditations when solitude had me kill ego at all costs even thru inertia which I could measure only simply.

or a gherbil--

Bodhi -- would that make you technically a swinger?

( lorenzo looks ) hey, I don't have a little bird on my shoulder!

Been living single for 9 years, divorced for the last five but still visited and best friends with my ex (she's flying up next month to visit). Living alone, especially out here in the rural mountains-the sticks most definitely- has been both very good for me and also very lonely at times. If we are surrounded with others, living in cities etc, you aren't alone, not really, but we have a herding instinct and tend to collect in groups as a species .

But when you don't see another human face unless you go to town or visit neighbors like I do you realize just what lonely is really like. I can stay here on the property, go hike the ridegline behind me, and not see or talk to another person for days/weeks at a time if I choose to. I can see dust clouds from cars going by on the dirt road occasionally, or hear the laughter and screams of the little kids that live across it when they are out playing, but I literally don't see or talk to another unless I make the effort (or somebody else does and comes by or calls).

It's pretty strange at times to live this way. Both good and bad but I do wish I had another/others to share living in this place with.

I took that pic. on my camera phone the winter before this past one (Feb. 2008)... it was the first time I went skiing with my then-5YO daughter, and indeed it was a very happy time... I love spending time with her, especially when I truely allow myself to be with her in totality (sans distractions by the rest of life).

Even when I've had long periods of my life filled with loneliness, I find happiness within, and around me. (some might think I'm a bit crazy, if they saw me spontaneously burst into laughter at some tiny little thing I cracked myself up over!)