I have realized I am just now on the "good" side of emotional availability.
For a very long time , it didn't matter how great the guy was, I couldn't envision settling with one man. I just wasn't ready.
Now I am dating with more availability I can see it from the other side. I am available and it scares people, they way it scared me when someone who I was dating wanted to get serious before. Now amount of cajolling could have made me think any differently, I was unavailable for committed intimacy.
Now I am trying to not take it personally. It's not their time. Like it wasn't my time until recently.
I had to go through 2 painful break ups to learn this lesson. I might need to learn it again.
I see so many people agonize about their relationship not being where they want it. It may be you who is not really emotionally ready for what they want, or it may be them . ( seems like it takes men eons to be ready. My friend says it takes a man about 30 years to start resembling a decent human being. Like responsibility, integrity, faithfullness wise, Women are ready a tad early) I'm 31 and just ready now though.
Anyone making this transition now? Been there, done that with the drama . Happy to be single. Ready for the real thing but having a great life in the meantime?
posted by:
|
Los Angeles
|
-
Re: Emotioanally available at last....
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 3:57 PMTiming is everything.
I am only becoming emotionally available now though I am a tad older.
Some people appear to be doing great on that front so I think that it is doable.
Something about having a great relationship with yourself first.
Maybe it speads great vibes but you can't lose.
-
Re: Emotioanally available at last....
Mon, May 12, 2008 - 6:30 PMI'm a bit emotionally bruised right now and trying to evaluate what mistakes I made in my last relationship and if I'm doomed to repeat them. I think that if all my future relationships were to resemble my last I'd stay single for the rest of my days.
I'm not looking to leap into anything but nor am I ruling anything out. I'm not really available right now because I'm living the life of a virtual recluse but in principle I suppose if the right woman came along I'd give a relationship a go.
There are a lot of items on my checklist and since I'm not going anywhere I'm not exactly waiting with baited breath.
-
Re: Emotioanally available at last....
Tue, May 13, 2008 - 4:11 AMComming outta my own darkness as well :-/
My relationship addiction was driving me into anyone's arms who would hold still long enuf.(lol)
I realised after a time that I had NEVER been without someone since I was a teenager!
As much as it was living torture, I had to detox and come into myself.
Being and emapth was no help either.
Not knowing if I was 'picking up' on someone's interest in me or if my attraction was genuinely my own.
Still grappling my desires but with a clearer head and not being influenced by my feelings for someone else.
If I want to do something, I just do it.
It is nice to have company, but not required. Thats what my dog is for :-)
Day by day, we soldier on...
