I have thought a lot about how, or if, I was going to answer this question.

I don't mean to be coy or to appear lazy. The rub is that I should be careful about revealing my current situation to protect my employer and to mitigate competitor interest in where and what I'm up to. Of more pressing importance was my trepidation about how what I do might be recieved. Then I remembered that it's basically just the 3 of us...

I am in mineral exploration. Gold exploration. I am not a mining engineer or a pick-and-shovel toting grizzled prospector type. I'm a geologist. I suppose the genesis of my professional life can be traced to a lifelong interest in science and an overriding fear of wearing a tie and sitting in a cubicle. After university, wanderlust and a fear of living my life at some grubby mine site in the armpit of Nevada drove me to seek work outside the country - which at the time was quite easy and proved to be more lucrative than stateside endeavors. I actually lied my way into my first job in Nicaragua by saying my spanish was top notch. It actually worked as my coworkers were all monolinguistic and I could pass off the tortured syntax and wild hand gestures as actual functioning spanish! What a wild gamble that has profoundly shaped my life!!

I've tried SE asia and did some work in Canada but I keep being drawn back to Latin America. My connections after 11 years now with my old life are almost lost. My best friends now don't speak any english; and when I see the people I called 'best friends' in my other life - there's that hesitant and polite reservedness that immediately makes me sad and feel completely removed. There's none of that easy and quick intimacy and shared experience anymore which seems to make up the basis of 'best friends'.

Ni modo, as they say. Life's rich pagaent is all around where one finds him/herself.

I don't know if I'll ever go 'home'. I seem to think about it less and less as the years go past. It makes me less sad when I do think about it now; the bright pain and longing seems to be now more of a warm, comforting memory. I still go crazy a little from time to time. In those moments something deeper is fighting to drive me back to states - to eat american food - to read in english (oh how I miss that sometimes!) - to hug, and laugh with, the friends I mispent my youth with. The guilt about not chatting with ma over a cup of coffee in the morning is tough - not having any grandchildren yet for her to fawn over is something we're coming to grips with.

I guess I couldn't have imagined it any different, though. I mean, regrets, sure! But not about where I've ended up - or where I'll be tomorrow...