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Independence Day

festivaloflove — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 21:42:27 GMT

Independence Day

The servant of LOVE is not here to give answers to your dreams.
The servant of LOVE is here to shine light from within, that your eyes may open from the darkness out of the dream.

It is my opinion, this is best served by offering doorways for the dreaming brother/sister to open,,,,themselves.
Otherwise if you open doors for them they will not build the inner strength needed for the deeper darker doors. Doors you open for them. only let light shine in.

We must offer them the exercise to hold their own doors open that they may develop enough strength to shine their light so powerful it completely shatters every door. As their conscious connection is reestablished, the final realization completes itself in understanding.............................there are NO DOORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Early morning hours of Nectar.

festivaloflove — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:27:48 GMT

Early morning hours of Nectar.

Awaken early, early in the morning and stay in the consciousness of your own angelic form and you will dance in happiness – no matter what situation may come to disturb you, your happiness will finish this off.
The problem of sleepiness,
Checking ones stage at morning chanting,
Is there ever sleepiness?
Is the time of nectar always powerful? If the time of nectar is powerful, then the whole day will also be powerful; if the time of nectar is weak then the whole day will be weak. Do you sit in meditation in the early morning hours of nectar simply because you are following a discipline? In fact, this is the time of receiving blessings.
Do you always remember the importance of the early morning hours of nectar? Does sleep ever come at that time? Do you become drowsy and nod off? Sometimes, the stage of sleep is mistaken for the stage of peace and when someone is asked, “How were you sitting?”, they reply, “Very peacefully.” So, check this: Does Maya (illusion), ever come between you and the powerful stage? If the soul is powerful, then Maya (illusion), becomes weak; but, if the soul is weak, then Maya becomes powerful. By constantly maintaining a stage that is powerful, the soul will be able to claim its gifts.
Top of the morning, Peace, Love & Harmony good friends,
Above was some of our topic here in Peru this morning.
Some say it is hard to get up because of tiredness, but the atmosphere at that time will drive away all tiredness. If we wake up and can not feel to stay awake the best that has helped to serve my devotion is to go outside. Fresh, brisk and a colorful place in the universe from 5-about 730. The energy of Love through Mother Earth, which we could not connect to through the walls, plugs us right back into ourselves. Experiencing the amazing conquering of light through darkness on the planet, we align ourselves for that to also take place from our hearts to our minds. This is the best time for our Yoga. Remember, yoga simply means to yoke, to join together. The Supreme Personality of Love actually makes His rounds in this time walking all over the planet seeing who has opened their door for Love that he may enter in.
What a wonderful and most merciful Lover the Creator is. How often do we know, but choose to see more value in the illusion of rest then the child like excitement of our union with our beloved? Yet this Supreme Personality of Love continues to walk by every morning awaiting our embrace. At times we are like the lover who says, “ oh I love you so much but am so busy and need my rest and space now, you understand don’t you?”?
Most gracious most merciful is said to be 2 of the attributes of the Divine. When you fail at offering yourself this gift of union, allow understanding of those who do not rise to open the door to you at times when you are there. The times when you are there so attentive to them, opening yourself like the rays of light shining through and all you desire is to pierce through the dark, penetrate the soul and warmly nourish the seeds deep under the soil. Yet your lover says, “oh sorry, not today. I am too tired to receive your gifts of Love today. It’s been very busy you know, I have been dealing with this, that, that this etc, etc, etc, etc, sleep , sleep , sleep…………………………………………………………………………………………….”.
Conclusion:
WAKE UP! Your unconditional Lover is outside the window every morning. Splash water on your face, chant while walking around the house, go outside, whatever you have to do, whatever you have to do to awaken to the moment of this Loving relationship, please do it, for yourself. And, when you fail at this, and you will from time to time, let it be a reminder to you how challenging this simple process of liberation is.
Understanding will create the needed mercy in your heart when you must be forgiving for the times you are outside the window of a beloved and they are to sleepy with the ways of the world to come and let you in. Remember God’s mercy that He comes every morning no matter how often the door is closed. He is always making His rounds checking in on your readiness to awaken. Open the door and let the Love of your relationship together unite to burn away all illusion.
Hope this reaches all of you.
Live in Love,
Joseph

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Honoring our Mortality and our Pain

luna — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 19:51:47 GMT

Had some beautiful realizations chanting this morning. One about really honoring myself and finding the subtle ways that I don't....especially those ways that are deeply linked to pain...like attachment...really honoring the deep love in that space...like, we don't tell the little girl whose beloved grandfather has died to be unattached...I want to treat myself like that...honor my human-ness and my female-ness. I don't even think it's of value to aim toward non-attachment. That can keep us back, because, once again, we are in the future, "end gaining" as someone called it. Honoring where we're at, and upholding the truth in it and deepening our love and connection with God....that's where it's at. The rest is up to God. We surrender to the deeper understanding, but not by resisting. I think you would agree...it's a matter of enhancing my perspective on this. I think that's also why I wanted to share with you that I had an image of you and Suraya up on an altar in my mind. I feel like your love and honor for each other will be even deeper and deeper than it is.... not because it's exclusive to others but because it's exemplary... I feel like a spiritual marriage is like a spring board. Let's not pretend that we can be unattached when we aren't there yet. Let's honor our mortality while we are in it. The caccoon will shed when the time is right!

The other thought was how I could actually VALUE my painful feelings because they are like fuel for this sacred offering to God that I do when I am chanting. I would wake up and chant, then go back to sleep, and the second time I would awake, I would resist my feelings by staying in bed. Not that I should judge myself for staying in bed and hiding away...however, I started to see that, even in that second awakening, when I had, once again, the feeling of not wanting to confront my pain, I could look at it as precious "booty" for this chant offering again. For the divine must love when we offer up our pain and suffering for it to transform by shining light onto it. God is hungry to take our pain and suffering away...at least that's how I imagine the a Christ figure such as Jesus would be. There is a divine consciousness that embraces the opportunity to heal our suffering when we surrender to it. She comes to wash it away in her sweet light and applies the balm of love to the wounds that they may heal.

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Maintaining peace in all relationships

festivaloflove — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 21:01:26 GMT

"today another devotee kept popping into mind, little weird fantasies about what it would be like to meet him, probably because I have a little bit of a neg connotation of him because of what happened between you 2, and I could just feel that working out as I chanted, letting it go"

A way that I let the neg go is to ask God to allow me to see in my minds eye with His vision of the situation. As I do that I understand and can see clearly everyone playing there role in these theatrical performances known as life in the material energy. Prabhupada and Mother Rytasha dealt with the same thing from there God brothers and Sisters so I am honored to have the opportunity to have the same path. The devotee you speak of is a wonderful man at heart. Sadly due to his association with wanting to have a wife, his heart got clinched to the idea that family life is terrible. In his worry he allows it to consume his vision in this area. This is not for us to judge as good or bad, simply just is. When we need to judge we might only look at how at our judgment would serve us on our mission to serve God.

Again how does our judgment serve us? We may need to give our selves distance from people or places because in the moment we are unable to focus's on our chanting. It is OK to give our selves the space we need to steady our minds on our chanting.

CHANTING IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IN THE AGE.

It is what can free us of all need to sit and contemplate or worse, speculate. Both of those just get us very exhausted and tired. What do we do when we are tired? Go to sleep. The devotee does not want to sleep, the devotee wants to be awake, that he may be available to serve Krishna at any moment, or just rejoice with him. We have fallen back asleep for thousands of years and it has never served completely as much as awakening moments have. Let us see all our brothers and sisters as they are, as God sees them, perfect.

A way to do this is to understand that when we need to move from one direction to the next as a surrendered devotee, we need not complain when the shifting happens rather be excited that Krishna in His Mercy has made personal effort to shift us from our set pattern allotted to us from past Karma. Once our Karma has been lifted we are now just in the Hands of the Creator. What is there to fear or hate or neg in that? The only time neg would come in is if we thought we should be in a certain spot or position. That is not surrendering to the will of Allah. That is bewilderment to the material energy. The material energy is very comfortable and has a great beauty of its own. Remember, it is not bad energy, it is Gods external potency. So we can be thankful of it and Kali through it. The pure devotee seeks the internal potency of God so he no longer needs to rest in the material energy. A way he is freed from this is by simply surfing the waves out until eventually the last wave catches us and we are swept up into the Spiritual Energy completely.

You coined it beautifully when you said, "I could just feel that working out as I chanted, letting it go" When you chant through it, its God taking it away from you and putting it where it belongs.

Every trial or situation in life belongs somewhere, otherwise we would have not co created it. The ART is to know where to put such energies. So many people are talking about healing energy and this is nice. At the same time we must remember we are not here to kill or destroy energy, only that we know where to put the energy to proper use.

Today in our Peru Center we were talking about teenage years and the energy that comes through this time. In western culture, most families have so many problems with the youth because they do not understand that it is just a combustion of ENERGY. In many other cultures when a boy turns about 12 he is considered a man and given much physical activity to burn off his energy and responsibility to deal with problem solving. Same with the women of many tribes we have studied, they get an extra load of work to channel there new found built up ENERGY. So all ENERGY in the eyes of the devotee is neither good nor bad, its all how we use it, and the purpose of life is to use everything in the service of Love. We must learn to Tia Chi it, and move through the surface of the waters staying focused that we do not fall back under, and eventually jump on the shore for the Festival of Love Grand Party with the Divine.

Live in Love,
Joseph

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Pain and Darkness

Donald — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 21:52:09 GMT

Hey Don,

Hope you read my last email (which is below). I'd
like your thoughts on what I briefly said about effort
and intention.

Also, when we talked after the concert, I'm pretty
sure you said something about going through kind of a
dark time. I find myself in the same situation
especially this year. I'm wondering more of your
thoughts on this as well. Both your experience (if
you're open to talking about it) and your ideas about
moving beyond it.

Scott

Hey Scott,

It is interesting you ask this question about the
dark time. I like how you said in your last reply
about how the part about "how one endeavors to
become resolute on this path" is the part where you
think your not in alignment with it. That is the
entire point of the wording, and this I just
realized at this moment. It does not say, "when one
becomes resolute", but "when one ENDEAVORS to become
resolute". This reminds me of saints and sages who
spurn praise, and say they are horrible sinners or
completely inadequate for such a title, because from
our own eyes, we always see all the ways that we are
not on the path we envision to be the highest, and
we feel like we don't try hard enough, and are no
where near a place that could really be called
dedicated. I would agree with you, and say that I am
no where near this place either, but I am
endeavoring to become resolute, and I think you are
too: your manner of relating to people can come
about no other way.

As far as the dark time, it feels like a stagnant
pool of nothingness, so to speak, but my guru has
kept saying that the times the individual on the
spiritual path feels he is making little or no
progress and is gloomy are the times he actually is
making the largest leaps in his life, so the first
and most important thing to realize is that the
process of growth never stops, and is constant. The
speed of it is determined, as stated in that
previous email, by your courage on it. Now, in the
times when we don't know what to do at all, and
courage seems like it couldn't help because we are
clueless, what we are really doing is a deep
realignment with our innermost selves.

The feeling of darkness and depression felt at this
juncture is key, and ignoring it or shelving it in
order to be a light for others, or just to be more
amiable, is probably the worst thing we could do. In
fact, this is not a new darkness at all: it has been
with us for years, probably since early childhood,
and we have now just reached the point, due to our
"endeavor to become resolute on the path", and a
level of fearlessness that comes from knowing that
this is our goal more so than supreme machoistic
fearlessness that that word is usually associated
with, that we have acquired awareness of this
darkness, and the courage to face and feel it. The
question is, what to do from here.

Since that concert I have had some amazing spiritual
breakthroughs and experiences to extraordinary
levels of joy and insight, and have just now
re-entered the darkness a little, but have had a
taste of the fruits of facing it, and am therefore
undeterred, and see it more clearly for what it is.
I am going to describe it from the perspective of
Eckhart Tolle, because I love the clarity in his
interpretation. These dark feelings are the pain
body: picture it as an astral body, if you have ever
heard descriptions of that, that stays dormant in an
individual until triggered, either by reocurrances
similar to its original cause, or simply by, such as
in our case I believe, a deeply introspective state
of mind. This pain body has a consciousness of its
own, and feeds off of negative energy. When active,
it possesses us, and produces negative thought
patterns that cause us to therefore act in a
negative way, activate the pain bodies of those
around us, and receive negative energy in return
from those other pain bodies. What we have to do is
be aware of the pain body when it comes, separate
what we consider to be ourselves from it, and simply
be aware that it is simply the pain body that is
active at the time. This causes it to drain its
energy, without getting refreshed.

Another level, that goes deeper, is reached, once
the energy of this pain body is low enough, and we
have sufficient awareness of it not to fall into its
thought patterns, is finding its source. Now, a
quick recap of the human condition: We are Love
embodied, here to develop a higher level of
consciousness, and due to experiences that have
caused pain due to the ignorance we were born with
or taught, we have suppressed this pain and anger,
which holds the key to allowing us to Love with
complete freedom, without a second thought, or
without even a first, really, hehe. This is the
ultimate goal here.

To free ourselves we must find the source of this
darkness or pain, and to do this, we must embrace
it, and watch how we react to the world around us.
We have buried this pain so deeply we cannot find
the source ourselves, but if we watch carefully and
from an objective stance, while also allowing our
feelings to flow naturally, even if they are
somewhat negative, we can then begin to pinpoint the
source of this pain. For me in this phase I am
seeing it strongly relates to my father now, as I
find myself thinking more defensively around certain
male figures, and unable to shake my feelings of
anger or hopelessness in dealings with the
government, finances, etc: dominant figures that
claim that I have a responsibility to them, etc.

The ULTIMATE key to this process, and I can easily
show why, is chanting. Whether personalist or
impersonalist, or even agnostic scientist, as I was
until I had this realization, chanting is the
ultimate point in this process. The problem is, we
have associated ideas of ourselves and what we are
on a subconscious level for so long, any conscious
effort find what we are in that is not only flawed
in that it is a pattern of thoughts (conscious
effort) and therefore cannot directly relate to the
flow of feelings, or of Love, that we are, but also,
there are layers that it would take us decades of
thinking, analyzing, and changing our circumstances
and situations to isolate the Truth from the
illusion. The chanting is the ultimate helper in
that:
The syllables we chant are pure in essence to the
divine nature, soul, or the ultimate cause of
existence. Sound vibration, as what is chanting, is
really just the vibration of energy, which we all
are: think about it, what else could sound be
really? When we chant the pure syllables, we
associate directly with this energy, which resonates
in tune with us, our highest selves. Through this
association, we begin to become accostumed, mostly
on a subconcious level, to what it feels like to be
our highest selves. Daily practice of this causes us
to naturally, with or without conscious effort,
begin to associate with our divine nature, and as a
result, dissassociate with our fear based illusions,
but do so on a heart level, as opposed to a
conciously based thought pattern. Using both is
great and awesome, but one of my favorite quotes by
Lao something, I forget the last name, is something
to the point that wisdom lies within the world
beyond illusion, and spirit goes beyond the world,
infinite. The chanting is the purification of
spirit, so to speak. Here is a quote from the
Tibetan Book of Living and Dying:

3. Reciting a Mantra

A third technique, used a great deal in Tibetan
Buddhism (and also in Sufism, Orthodox Christianity,
and Hinduism), is uniting the mind with the sound of
a mantra. The definition of mantra is "that which
protects the mind." That which protects the mind
from negativity, or that which protects you from
your own mind, is called mantra.
When you are nervous, disoriented, or emotionally
fragile, chanting or reciting a mantra inspiringly
can change the state of your mind completely, by
transforming its energy and atmosphere. How is this
possible? Mantra is the essence of sound, and the
embodiment of the Truth in the form of sound. Each
syllable is impregnated with spiritual power,
condenses a spiritual truth, and vibrates with teh
blessing of the speech of the buddhas. It is also
said that the mind rides on the subtle energy of the
breath, the prana, which moves through and purifies
the subtle channels of the body. So when you chant a
mantra, you are charging your breath and energy with
the energy of the mantra, and so working directly on
your mind and subtle body.
Recite the mantra quietly, with deep attention, and
let your breath, the mantra, and your awareness
become slowly one. Or chant it in an inspiring way,
and rest in the profound silence that sometimes
follows.

-The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
Sogyal Rinpoche

I can say from experience that without this
chanting, when the process gets to be too painful or
difficult, you will probably turn away from it, or
experience the purification process (as I like to
call it) as extremely painful, and depressing. The
chanting is what makes it a trial and a beautiful
process of growth. I am not saying it is easy, but
the chanting, I cannot stress enough, is the
ULTIMATE key. This email is long enough, hehe! Peace
and Love!
-Don

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Determination

Donald — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 21:46:27 GMT

Hey Scott,
I'm wishing I had gone to that concert last night, but oh well.
Hey, I was thinking about you this morning while meditating, and I kind of
had a realization. What I said that night was very
true, you have
taken an honest leap down the spiritual path, and
you should
congratulate yourself a bit more man! What you have
begun to do, on an
honest level (more deeply than most), is a miracle.
The Bhagavad Gita
states that one in thousands of men will have begun
the journey you
have begun, and then that one in millions will make
it. I sense that
you kind of don't think too much of yourself in that
area, kind of
like, oh, there are plenty of people doing this, I
am just one of a
huge crowd, and look at the masters, I am nowhere
near that... Truth
is, many people claim to be doing it, and seem to be
doing it, and
definitely make sure they look like they are doing
it, and even
honestly believe that they are doing it, but VERY
VERY few are doing
it on the level that you are. Most have left behind
an old egoic
pattern for this new, spiritual, new age one, but
for most of them
this is not a constant unfolding of self, as it is
or very soon will
be for you. You have opened yourself to sincerity
and True humility,
but now you need to step into your own power I feel.
Take faith in
your divinity, because you are divine, and don't be
afraid to make
mistakes, for, "Though you walk upon the Path Made
Straight, the path
by which a man may come again to God
(enlightenment), still are you as
a child, who learning to walk will fall down many
times before he is
full grown." - Mother Rytasha

The children that are full of vigor I see run, and
when they fall,
they get right back up, without a second thought
about the fall.

Here is a quote from some scripture I have had on my
door for about
two months now that I read before I leave my room
each day that has
helped tremendously. I don't know how you feel about
the God concept,
but the Truth therein, the self-empowerment through
Love and Trust, is
the same for any tradition:

Determination upon My Path to Liberation must be
maintained for
acquisition of the awards of spiritual travail and
commitment. And,
when one endeavors to become resolute upon this
path, remember that:

COURAGE not cunning shall quicken one's steps
therein; that

FERVENT prayer, not insincere utterances, shall
sustain one; that

HUMILITY, not false pride, shall ennoble the spirit;
that

Through SPIRITUAL STRENGTH, one can overcome every
obstacle to
spiritual growth, not human strength.

Peace and Love brother,
Don

Hey Don,

I really appreciate you thinking of me and taking the
time to write your message.

You said: "when one endeavors to become resolute upon
this path". This reminds me of Right Effort in the
eightfold path of Buddhism.

There is a relationship between will and intention and
effort. I am not sure I understand it, but I believe
it is a key to why I dont make a lot of progress with
my practice.

Regarding the God thing, I dont connect with theistic
approaches, which is why Buddhism really clicks with
me.

I am glad I met you. It was auspicious that we met at
the mandala opening.

I appreciate your openness and your love.

Scott

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Unconditional Love (A Conversation)

luna — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:56:41 GMT

A conversation (3-16-08) between two devotees and students of the Religion of Love:

M: Speaking with my friend after our satsang was, once again, very challenging and brought me more material to shine light on. Here is where I feel like I am asking my Higher Self for a new perspective in this time, and though I think I'm getting GLIMPSES of it, I am looking through an old perspective that has not been taken over by a new one yet. I will ask you to be patient with me on this one because I'm working through this thought, but here it is on the level I am dealing with it: How do I learn that opening up more to love does not mean attaching more? Because, to be very honest, other than my few transcendant incidents that were not related to a special relationship or a chemically induced higher state (not to discredit those experiences at all), my day to day life experience tells me that being in a true love experience with a man in relationship opens the floodgates for love and there is a greater Abundance of it than at any other time. It is not as if I don't experience love or joy at any other time, it just pales in comparison to the depths and heights that we potentially share. It actually made us more able to love everyone else when we were allowing ourselves to be in love, because, even though the floodgates seemed to be "manned" by the union of the two of us, the Love itself was impersonal, so it was to be shared with everyone. We became in love with everyone when we allowed ourselves to love each other. The reason why we felt that our union was so sacred (other than the metaphysical sense of oneness and mystical experiences) was that, rather than making us spend all our time gazing into each others' eyes, it gave us a tremendous strength to begin healing the universe. And we really did take some miraculous steps toward doing so while we were able to BE in love without destroying it or fearing it as we have been doing lately. Why am I experiencing my central gate to the Source as being through our male/female union, and how can I learn to be my own gate...or let the Universe be my gate?

Joseph: Love gives us a glimpse here and there from time to time, with different people, groups, landmarks. You will find so many people that feel the True Love, and, if they feel it in a place, some have even made resorts around it and invited people to come to that place. But it is never a place or person, or time. It is you. Rather then go to Vortex locations, though that could be nice, the devotee takes their pilgrimage back to themselves, back to their heart. Because, with some minor knowledge, they can appreciate the place or people that ignited remembrance of Love, but they feel on a deeper level and know that the Love they felt comes from within. If it did not, you could hand it to anyone. Special Relationships and psychedelic experiences I will say are a {real Hint} of what is Love. Its like touching the shirt of the Divine. Just by grazing a part of the whole it is amazing. After grazing for a bit, someone with wisdom wants more and wants it without end. What turns people back into the world mind of not believing is they are like the spoiled child who gets a glimpse and wants more, but wants it their way and right away. To make the 360 degree turn to face the Lover of Love takes intense effort at first. The effort, as you know, in itself, is not hard, it's all about letting go of everything, the entire way we eat, drink, sleep, walk, etc. Living life in constant complete mindfulness. You cannot bring Divine Love to your life, You must be willing to leave what you think is your life and go to Divine Love.

I try to put this as gentle as possible, as my Teacher was always gentle with us, but you can understand, I think, the commitment it will take to go as deep in Love as you want to. We say thank you for the glimpse, we thank those that played their role. And yes, M, it is a role, it really is a play. A grand theatrical performance. But a real actor knows when its time to get off stage and enter the Real Realm of Life, or Love. Like many actors we get attached to those we were playing the role with. That can become a set back for yourself and the others we played the role with.

M: One of the thoughts that come to mind (I always try to answer my own questions when I ask them, and then wait for your feedback) is that perhaps there is a kind of illusory "quantity" phenomenon...in much the same way we can take the Pepsi challenge and think Pepsi is better because it is sweeter, and Coke tastes bland after a sip of Pepsi (so goes the legend around the add campaign), the intensity of the frequency that is vibrating from the male/female polarity/duality experience is like the giant ocean waves that then make the little ones seem unnoticeable.

Joseph: Hear your own voice, then hear the voice of one who Loves you unconditionally. I love you in this way. After hearing both voices, follow the one you KNOW to be true in that moment. Their are no right answers. The only right answers are the ones that lead you to Love and dispel your illusion of suffering.

The Devotee or Servant is neither masculine or feminine in this relationship. This is another reason why it is important for the devotee not to engage in a physical relationship because the devotee sees for a moment, with The eyes of God. The devotee does not see man or woman, black or white, rich or poor etc. etc. As I see your beauty in and out I see it on a much deeper level that has nothing to do with bodily concept. Try if you can with me to see me the same and this obstacle will dispel itself. Another devotee says she just put in her mind that in another life I must just be gay. That helped her not be attached to the battles in her mind of man/woman etc. I don't know. I want to come back to this at some point because I don't feel I completed it on your concern. Forgive me for now.

At the same time if you feel you can trust me as a servant for you or guide, take some of the medicine even if it does not feel like a regular pattern for you. Just like a doctors gives medicine and it sometimes taste so bad we are healed from the disease. Remember, if you surrender in this way you are not imprisoned, you never have to finish the bottle of medicine the doctor gives. You can always put it back on the shelf as most do when they start to feel a little better. Usually a doctor will say, "Take all of it even when you start to feel better or the illness will come back even stronger." It took me a long time as a child to follow these directions because I saw no need in being dependent on medicine once I felt OK. The doctor is so merciful that you can even come back to him/her if you get sicker by not following the directions. In fact the doctor will not make you feel guilty, they will just work harder at the disease with you. The doctor does this all the way until the end of your bodily life. The devotee, when they serve, does this for your entire existence in the material contaminated realm, or world, life time after life time.

M: Maybe being in the moment and opening to my pain of wanting something "big" to wash over me and carry me...almost like a roller coaster might do...just practicing being present with my feelings of lack or unworthiness and letting go of my resistance to my feelings...maybe that will lead me to feel the truly eternal ones...the ones that can only be felt when we give up the craving for the impermanent ones.

Joseph: I was with a very good friend last night, a brother really. He is still attached to the world in some ways. But he was sharing a beautiful thing with me over the last few years and last night, as he did my breaks. He was in a 16-18 year relationship with his Wife, a beautiful gem. He knew deep in his heart he was meant for a higher spiritual music experience. His wife felt the distance and left him and has just remarried after only 2 years. Anyway, he told me he laid alone in his home, other than the times I would drive out to check up on him, as most of our so called friends abandonned him, when he could not feed them energy anymore. He laid alone crying and said that he forcefully listened to sad music or music that made him think of his parents, and his now ex-wife. He said, " I did not feel that I had done anything wrong to be getting so much pain but since God or Love thought I must, I did not want to run from it, I wanted to experience it as strong as I could, and when it felt like it would destroy me I asked it to go ahead and destroy me, just take it away!" And so it did , all in less then 1 year. His wife finally got the divorce through, his mom died (he never really knew his real dad, and his adopted dad died when he was a young boy). But the grand finale was when a lighting bolt hit his home while he was engaged in negative thought, blew out nails in his wall, destroyed his truck, and most of the music equipment in his home recording studio and entertainment center. He sought no reimbursement from insurance or the land owner. He understood it more deeply then that. He still sits in pain as he can't come to the early morning class yet, but is a true warrior and what I liked was when he said, "I wanted to feel the pain as much as I could." Last night, before I left, he said he felt free from it and ready to move on. I told him I would share his story with the world and welcomed him again to a place in my heart where he had not yet completely come. With tears he agreed to step forward.

Does this mean you must go through the same? I hope no lightning has to hit your house, but the courage he had to feel the pain and the result. We all go through it. That is why it is called Jihad, or Holy WAR. Its not easy. But I can vouch that the journey to the Supreme is Worth it. Tears come down as I say this because there is nothing more beautiful then this Love. Challenging though for the first few leaps. The first few steps are easy, but the leaps are scary, maybe because its all new territory. ***But again, remember, you can always go back into the the world. The world will always be there. There is no threat for surrendering to Real Love.

M: Perhaps eternal love is too STILL and QUIET to be felt by one who is constantly moving after, seeking the fulfillment of something that can never be had.

Joseph: The gate keeper knew it is only you who can really stop yourself from coming in, so they set us on a continuous journey running in circles. Lots of people have tried to get to moontribe but get lost, give up, find other desert events, and some have even asked from time to time if moontribe is even still around. We are here. Love is here. Stay close to those who are here, and keep an open line for directions, and keep the directions close to you when driving. Don't let them slip away for a moment somewhere in the vehicle. Doing this you could make one wrong turn and get lost in a huge desert, and those with you will say, "Moontribe sucks I hate this." Too bad. If they had held tight to their directions, kept steady attention to the directions and turn, did not fall to fear when the road got too bumpy or sandy… did not turn around after their first flat tire or being stuck, they could have rejoiced in the experience. Oh well, the Moon will rise again, and, if they keep in association, they will get another chance.

M: Because, it seems, that no matter how deep my love is for this person and his for me, there is something in both of us that is fiercely resisting the attachment aspect of it...hence leading us to resist the love that we have. Even though we both remember experiencing being "in the eye of the storm" with each other, the majority of time was not spent there.

Joseph: You got high, it felt good. Don't be a crack head. A close female friend of mine and a great servant to Moontribe were talking about how important it is for us serving moontribe to cultivate the vibe all the time and not just depend and hold onto that one experience. Because the locations can never stay the same for too long. Even if we find a beautiful one like we did with xxxxx River Reservation. We got greedy and kept going until someone was hurt and a helicopter came to lift them out. Then we were no longer welcomed. Moontribe was always to be at different location as much as possible. But its hard not to go back to a spot where so many had said they saw or felt God there.

M: Here is a complex thought that seems to be tapping into something, so I hope you'll bare with me and follow me around the loop to the end: I told my friend today that this "spiritual goal of non-attachment" seems to be working against us, if we use it to keep from loving each other. There is some weird ego trick happening here. It's very bizarre... He wants to love me with all his heart, which I believe he does, deep down inside, in a way that could move mountains, and yet he is afraid that opening up to me will cause me to attach to him in a way that will endanger his experience of "finding himself" and "healing his darkness" and, ultimately, endanger me.

Joseph: He may be afraid of his darkness as we all are and is looking out for his and your best interest. Even though you know you could bear it, he may not be able to with you. I try not to comment that close to the relationship, but that came through.

M: When in truth, I believe that his opening up to the truth and depth of his love for me that he says he has, would actually have the reverse effect. There would be less of a sense of attachment because the truth of the love would be so bright...there wouldn't be a sense of lack...we would grow to trust that love IS.

Joseph: Very possible and seems like it should. But he is not sure of that. And as hard as it is to believe, he knows himself better then you do. Deep inside anyway, and it could be helpful for him if you trusted that. Not saying that you don't, but maybe... just an idea.

It is not helpful to focus on the outer action. This is about releasing their responsibility to us. This is very difficult to battle with… you are not alone. Do you trust that the sun will rise every day. Even if you can't see it from the clouds?

Try this: When we first met, you said you felt a lot of love. Try to vision Joseph and the Love you have for him ..................................................... Feel it as deep as you can .................................... Now look for the conditions that are needed for you to trust him ....................................... If you can Love this vision of Joseph more and more ........then replace the name and body with anyone in the world ........... you will begin to understand a great mystery. If this is kind of out there for an email remind me to touch base on it in class.

M: I have a thought about taking love "for granted." Perhaps unconsciously we know that if we give all we have, it can be taken for granted. And here, my dear brother Joseph, perhaps I am coming on to something...something that once again, defies the meaning we give to ordinary human language... Though we think of "taking something for granted" as being a negative thing -- in a spiritually evolved life, don't we WANT to "take absolute, unconditional, eternal, infinite love for granted"???

Joseph: You always tickle my soul! I love you. It is said that in the living realm of God, no one knows of God as God. They only feel unalloyed Love for Him/Her. And call His Names by attributes to the moment. This is very deep, and we will go into the book of Wisdom next week. But 'for granted' is also on a scale in this realm. For sure class topic.

M: So, what does that mean for me, since I've been seeing this in terms of what my friend could or couldn't do? I suppose that I am afraid of my love being taken for granted too... If I am to learn that this Love truly IS meant to be taken for granted, I will have to walk my talk, and row my boat. AAAAHHHHHH...those words I wrote just now terrified me...I felt a bolt of fear through my gut.

Joseph: Yes sister, Jai, Hare Krishna. You are aware of the time that has come for you to end the search ..........and begin the journey. DONT BE AFRAID, JUMP IN. Yes you will still suffer at first. Until your beloved god brothers and sisters help you dry off, put on new clothes for the journey, aid in saddling you up in your ship, and then leave you to sail away home. END THE SEARCH..........BEGIN THE JOURNEY (there's a bumper sticker!:-) There is the opportunity for a real experience of this where the fear can't hold you back... It just shoots out. Prepare for rejection in the process when really giving it out because it is not you they will reject, it's the force of light that shines their darkness away and this is scary for them and they will do what they need to to survive, so they think in the moment. I have been thrown out of peoples homes, places of worship, people have left our home center screaming and cursing when this has happened in a gathering. In the beginning you take it hard, especially when the day before we were basking in song, dance and talk. But you begin to understand that it is not you or the teaching they are rejecting. It's just too much to grasp for them, for now. But the seed planted always grows, we just rarely get to see it though. Once we stop looking to see it, then we really see it everywhere.

M: I relate that to Kali because, like in the Kali email I sent you, she is related to Primal Fear...fierce fear of Survival, and, most importantly, she is the Peace that is to be found on the other side of resisting that fear...when we LET IT ALL BE. But I am terrified now. Do you know what I feel like?

Joseph: More so then you can imagine, my dear sister. But remember it is the death of death you fear. Let us serve you to go further. For me the glorious moment of spiritual initiation from a bonified teacher came and cleansed my karma away for a fresh start. On March 23rd-323 so many years ago. I celebrated it as a birthday as we all do, but it was also the anniversary of a death. A birth to a new life, a chance to start over, the lift of lifetimes of karma and bondage, so that I now only deal with the daily struggles of manning the ship. The shore left behind. On course.

M: Have you ever stared at one those 3-D images that, if you look at in just the right way, without trying to analyze the details and letting the eyes rest on it without focusing, comes out at you as a real live image in 3-D; and, otherwise, it's a boring, flat, meaningless design. I feel like the Absolute Love that I am is that 3-D image, and I sense it and know it when I am not kicking in the quicksand... yet I find that my kicking is a habit.

Joseph: Very good awareness. I heard a mystic doctor who had a patient that came to him complaining about obsessively biting her nails, and that she had seen doctors for years helping her to get through old thoughts about her dad and how it had to do with the past and things that happened to her. But she came to this doctor cause she was told he was very helpful. He told her I can help you in 3 sessions. She was shocked to hear this as she had spent over 10 years going through it with others. He said, its very simple, when you come here you can say whatever you want about why you do what you do, but while you're here you are not allowed to put your hands in your mouth. And every time she did, he would slap them down and tell her "its this simple, JUST STOP PUTTING YOUR HANDS IN YOUR MOUTH AND TELL YOURSELF THIS." As soon as she would begin to talk and then frantically bite her nails he would again slap them down, until it became a pattern for her to talk without biting her nails. She was amazed that in only 3 sessions she was healed. Funny, but its that easy.

M: Kind of like you were illustrating this morning by pretending to be the autistic kid who was hitting himself unconsciously. My mind is flailing it's limbs in the quicksand, and, from experience, I know that this flailing leads to suffering and death, and yet, I haven't learned to trust enough to stop flailing, and, so, I sink deeper.

Joseph: That's why my words with you are getting more direct and a bit harsh on the outside. Because like a child we need the rearing, the focuses. I do what I do truly because I love you and want to help you end your suffering or illusion. Please forgive me if it hurts. Thought I know you are stronger then that.

M: So I feel at a bit of a brick wall with my fear, I will take another tactic. What if I were to be this Absolute Love that I am? How would I be?

Joseph: That's where I was at the end of the Peace Book with my teacher. You will find you will be more magnificent then you could have ever imagined. Trust me, you cannot see how beautiful you are now. But if you're willing to keep going and let the false ego die then you will know. I think you would be the type of person that when you played or sang music people would feel The LOVE of God so much that all they could do is cry in tears of happiness. I see your true you playing as the angels do to feed our hearts. Not with intention to do so, just natural. I even see it in certain places and times that I am not familiar with, but God, it really comes through at times. You will be nothing like the musician you think you are now. At a later time remind me to tell you a story of the great soul that is free to travel between the Spiritual and Material world and Plays his Harp.

M: OK, now I'm going to bed. This is all food for the soul, but I didn't get the ultimate AHA moment.

Joseph: So many of you these days are talking about the ultimate AHA moment. I wish I could send you all my emails and underline that. Be the AHA moment.

M: ...but some very interesting and important insights came up. Like I did with that last letter and your reply notes, I ended up printing it out and making a little booklet out of it that is my spiritual study (affirmations, etc.) notes.

Hope you're sleeping well. I feel the same way about Moon Tribe. It is welcoming us :)

Joseph: I love you very much and am willing to serve you until you say stop, and remember, you can. And if you need to you can always come back.

Cause you never know..............you could pass these moments by as just some trippy guy you met at Moontribe who hung out at your house for a bit and talked some far out stuff .............crazy hippie. It was all a dream.

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Yogi Tea

luna — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 06:08:04 GMT

Here's the Yogi tea recipe that was requested. It's the kind that the Kundalini yoga centers serve. Yummy and helps digestion and does all that good stuff that fresh ginger does:

Simmer about 15-20 minutes (not much longer or it will get bitter):
2 cinnamon sticks
1-2 T cardamom pods (cracked open, either by smashing lightly with a bottle or a cutting with a knife)
1 t. peppercorns
1 t. cloves

Strain and serve with 1 part soy (or other) milk to 3 parts tea. Usually served with a little honey or maple syrup. It's basically a non-caffeinated healthy chai tea. I usually just guess the amt. of ingredients and it comes out. I usually make a full pot and save it in a bottle in the fridge for reheating.

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On Using Relationships for Personal Transformation

luna — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 05:55:35 GMT

Brother Joseph,

I appreciate Suraya's support ... though I haven't met her, I feel I have.

I must say that my meeting with J was most beautiful and miraculous. I don't know what that means yet for our future, only that it is clear that the love that exists between us is very deep and strong. I kind of like what Wayne Liquorman (the Advaita teacher I once mentioned to you who has gatherings in Redondo Beach) says about that. He says that though we are all one in Absolute Love in the supreme truth of things, in an earthly sense there are those beings with whom we "resonate" with, the way a guitar string will vibrate when a string of the same note is playing on another guitar. The relationship between guru and disciple is also one of resonation. Perhaps the more finely tuned we are (aware of our beingness) the more likely we are to find resonance. Resonance is that place where two or more people recognize their oneness and perhaps the communion of the Holy Spirit between them.

J gave me a very love filled collection of little gifts he had gathered for me and expressed a lot about how he feels. He is still uncertain about how he will deal with recent events, but would rather not dwell on that now. We both seemed to be of the opinion that it would be best to keep things on a platonic love level for some time and see how things develop (as you suggested too). It seems that we both need to process things now. I think the difficult thing for me is that he pulled away so far and for so long while he was going through his emotional release stuff that I notice that I keep doubting his love for me. There was a moment today, after he had just shared all this genuine openness and love, when he said "What am I going to do with you?" I saw myself flickering back and forth between thinking he meant that (1) he loved me so much he didn't know what to do and (2) thinking that he was afraid of leading me on because he saw that I loved him so much. Isn't that crazy? And here I am observing the two opposite reactions and trying to go inwards and feel my own center, but I felt like I was leaving him to do that. When I am at peace with myself I see all the love he has for me, and it seems easier for him to come toward me, but when I am doubtful and defensive (not trusting in love), he feels afraid of coming toward me. It seems like the only thing I can do is take this time to really work on myself so that I can be strong enough to be around him without being triggered into falling back into feelings of being unlovable and unwanted like I did when he was floundering. [JOSEPH: JUST CALLED BUT WANTED TO SAY , LIKE SOME TYPE OF BAPTIST PREACHER, CAN I HAVE AN AMEN OR HARE KRISHNA!!!!!!!! J WILL BE THE STARTING POINT FOR THIS BUT EVENTUALLY I T WILL BE WITH EVERYONE YOU ARE WITH OR AROUND. I HAVE CHILLS OF EXCITEMENT FOR YOU!] It seems so much easier to have a relationship that is more secure, but this one seems to be bringing up the kind of stuff I really need to learn, and I guess I asked for it. [JOSEPH: KNOWING THAT WE ASKED FOR IT IS SUCH A HUGE REALIZATION, MANY NEVER GET TO THAT POINT UNTIL THE NEXT LIFE. YOUR ILLUSIONS ARE REALLY DYING AWAY, AWAKENING IS ACCURING. JAI GLORIOUS LILa.] How much is too much I ask myself? And if I'm involved in some kind of relationship with someone who's not currently emotionally available much of the time (at least for the last several months...I sense it is shifting somewhat now), am I not loving myself? I have no control over who my soul is attracted to, at this point. All I can do is let myself be guided one step at a time.

Today we had some moments of very clear and loving communication in which there was a lot of light shined on the fears we have that have caused our miscommunication and projections. I realized that I project a lot of my fears about being disrespected by men (related to that realization I had with you about my Dad disrespecting women). J's trigger is the exact puzzle piece opposite to mine because he greW up with his Mom telling him how horrible men are and how he had to treat women respectfully...so much so that he didn't feel like he could be a man because men were too horrible...so, of course, when I start to project my fears of being disrespected by him because he's a man, he reacts with all the anger he had towards his mom while she was filling him with shame about being a male! Do you sense how much we are bringing to light in each other and how painful that feels? [JOSEPH: THIS AWAERNESS WILL ADD TO SETTING YOU BOTH FREE. JAI TO J FOR BEING STRONG AND KEEPING HIS EYES OPEN TO IT.]

J would like to be part of the gatherings with you too but he works until 3 AM. I know I'm supposed to be focusing on myself, but there is some very deep work going on and tons of stuff comes up for us around each other. It's much more accelerated than around anyone else. So I think I am focusing on myself when I am relating this stuff that comes up around him. What I'm getting to is that I would love for us to be able to include him in our gatherings. [JOSEPH: EVERYONE IS WELCOMED TO CLASS. I WAS FEELING TO EMAIL HIM THOUGH I NEVER GOT HIS EMAIL ADDRESS DIRECTLY BUT BEING CONNECTED WITH YOU I FEEL I WILL REACH OUT THROUGH EMAIL AND OPEN A DOOR AND SPACE THAT CAN WORK FOR HIM.]

I did an exercise with J today with these crystals that I've actually been finding myself getting attuned to (I used to scoff at crystals). I got this one in Arizona, and I really feel the magnification of light energy when I use it in healing. As I worked on J, it became very evident that I had to work on staying centered in myself in order for it to work. I am my own grounding, and as soon as I use someone else to ground me, I lose my connection to the source. [AWESOME!]

I know this sounds like a lot of psychology, and I hope this isn't too much for you to read, [NEVER :-)] but i really feel like the time has come for all these things to come up, like it says in the Peace book, and it IS coming up...much of it with J, but also in other situations. I was going to write all this stuff down in my notebook, but then decided to write it out to you because I feel like declaring it to others reinforces the process even more than declaring it to myself. [IT DOES, AND ONE MORE AMEN, HARE KRISHNA, HALLELUJAH.] I will sleep on this for now, but I'd also like to share my current question with you: What good thought can I use to replace the negative one that I need J to do all the "right" things to show his respect for me, [FIRST AS YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH J DOING THE RIGHT THINGS TO SHOW RESPECT FOR YOU, YOU NEED MORE RELEASE FROM THAT WAY PAST EXPERIENCE THAT HOLDS YOU IN DEATH.] In other words, what good thought can I use that would inspire me to believe in my own power to respect myself [THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO THINK SWEET M. WE ALWAYS ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE BUT YOU ALREADY ARE AND HAVE THE ANSWER. TEARS ARE COMING TO MY EYES AS I HEAR YOU AWAKEN. ITS LIKE BEING WITH MY LOVED ONE AND AWAKENING THEM FROM A BAD DREAM, AND THEY ARE TALKING TO YOU WHILE STILL LAYING DOWN AND HALF SLEEPING AND HALF AWAKE. AWAKEN! TO THE ANSWER! BELIEVE IN YOUR POWER TO RESPECT YOURSELF.] and not need to look outside for that. [WHEN WE LOOK OUTSIDE OURSELF WE ARE LOOKING AT ILLUSION. SO WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF DOING THIS ASK YOURSELF, DO I CHOOSE TO LOOK IN ILLUSION FOR THE ANSWERS OR IN TRUTH WITHIN.

OH DEAR GOD HOW CAN IT BE
IS IT TRUE YOU ARE INSIDE OF ME
PAIN, ANGER, MISERY
DO THESE FEELINGS EXSIST WITH THEE

RUNNING IN TIME WITH ETERNITY
PACING MYSELF SO I CAN SEE
EVERYTHING OUTSIDE OF ME
IS JUST A BLURRED REALITY

TRY TO KEEP STILL SO I CAN FIND
A STEADY PLACE DEEP WITHIN MY MIND
RELEASE TO FALSE EGO BEGIN TO UNWIND
THIS CRAZY ILLUSION THAT KEEPS ME BEHIND]

I am capable of it in most situations, but this one with J is really digging up the dregs. I don't think I would feel so much that way on an island with him or in a group of like-minded people who would enable me to feel safe. [SURAYA AND I HAVE TALKED ABOUT DOING SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIP WORKSHOPS JUST TO SET THE SPACE FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO ENTER THROUGH THAT REALM, BUT REALLY, IT IS JUST A DOOR WELCOME BECAUSE IT ALL GOES BACK TO THE ONE I AND I VIBRATION. BUT WE ARE GOING TO START IT WHEN SHE GETS BACK, ACTUALLY NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT WE ALREADY DID START IT IN PERU, SO I GUESS WE WILL CARRY IT HERE.] I'm self-conscious of what the "ordinary" people will think..[WE BOTH KNOW THAT IS JUST YOUR PAST STUFF, BUT AS FOR THE ORDINARY PEOPLE, WITHOUT BECOMING SPIRITUALLY STUCK UP, I WANT TO WELCOME YOU INTO A HEALTHY SPACE OF SEPERATION FROM THOSE STUCK IN IGNORANCE. BE WHO YOU ARE EVEN WHEN IT FEELS SCARY. AND GUESS WHAT, SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE AND IDEAS WILL STILL BE THERE, BUT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO WILL WELCOME YOU EVEN MORE AND WILL BE ENCOURAGED BY YOUR STRENGTH.] especially the men who think/feel in terms of power and sex...I'm concerned with my Dad's words that men just want to use women, EVEN thought I'm aware that they are doing that out of their own fears of unworthiness and powerlessness. I'm projecting all my fears of being disrespected onto our peers (the men who seem like they're unevolved in their perspective and who are subltly or overtly disrespecting their lady friends and wives to keep their power). Just telling myself that "I'm respectful" or "I'm worthy" doesn't seem to cut it right now in that circumstance. Those words don't have much clout. Hmmm... maybe I'm busy judging these people and that's the equivalent of me giving them the power to judge me. [YOUNG SISTER ON THE PATH, YOU ARE SO JOYUS AND ANSWER ALL YOUR OWN QUESTIONS. MA SUCCA- " DONT FEAR, DONT HESITATE, DONT WORRY" AS MY HEART LOOKS OUT ON YOU I SEE YOU ARE PAST THE FEAR PART,ITS MORE THE HESITATE MODE THAT YOU ARE IN NOW. REJOICE... YOU ARE TRAVELING ON THE PATH MADE STRAIGHT! I WILL CHANT AN EXTRA 10 ROUNDS BEFORE THE SUN FALLS TODAY IN YOUR NAME.

REPEAT TO YOURSELF WHEN IN THESE MOMENTS.

I AM WORTHY, A POWERFULL PRINCESS OR QUEEN. MY DOUBTS ABOUT MYSELF ARE ILLUSIONS WAY OF SEEING IF I AM READY TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF MY HEART AND THE HEART OF THE CREATOR. THE REAL I THAT IS ME CANNOT BE BURNT BY FIRE NOR WET BY WATER. I AM A POWERFUL QUEEN OF LOVE. THE WORLD IS LOOKING UPON ME TO BE STRONG IN THIS MOMENT SO THAT IT MAY FOLLOW ME HOME. THE VOICES OF THE PAST ARE NOT USEFUL ANYMORE. PEACE LOVE & HARMONY. I AM.

HARE KRISHNA HARE KRISHNA
KRISHNA KRISHNA HARE HARE
HARE RAMA HARE RAMA
RAMA RAMA HARE HARE.
or
ABBA FATHER HAVE MERCY ON ME.]

This Sunday there is a Green Sector party in Van Nuys. J invited me to it and something about his carefree-ness in his invitation triggered me, and I "fell off my horse" for a few minutes because I imagined he was feeling happy now that he had me where he wanted me... at an arms length and loving him while he can feel free and uncommited and call on me when he wants. I am starting to seriously doubt the validity of these kinds of thoughts... it seems more like he might just be telling the truth and that I am reading into it. For some reason his asking me to do frivolous things with his peers triggers me. [I ALSO AM STILL CONCEREND THAT THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE TRUE, CONSCIOUSLY OR NOT FOR HIM. THIS WILL REALLY REQUIRE YOU TO CHANT AND ASK FOR THE ANSWER VERY DEEPLY. IT WILL NOT HURT YOU NOT TO GO. YOU WILL STILL BE SAFE AND IN LOVE BY NOT GOING. BY GOING YOU RISK FALLING VICTIM AGAIN EVEN IF IT IS TO THE ILLUSIONS OF YOUR MIND OR HIS UNCONSCOUS PLAN TO DANGLE YOU A BIT. IT IS OK TO STAY IF IT'S WHAT FEELS SAFE AT THE MOMENT. FOLLOW YOUR HEART, YOU HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH A LOT OF RELEASE AND NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO TEMPT YOURSELF ON THE BATTLEFIELD. WHILE AT THE SAME TIME YOU MAY FIND YOU WERE READY. GREEN SECTOR IS A VIBE FOR RELATIONSHIP AND HAS BEEN SAID TO BE A BRANCH OF THE MOONTRIBE VIBE, BUT WITHOUT CARE SO SOME HAVE FELT. THE ANSWER IS IN YOU. CALL ME IF YOU NEED TO BE VERBAL.] He explained to me that he felt it would be good for us to do more lighthearted things and be in Joy in each others company and share it with others instead of going into heavy deep conversations in my room and releasing emotions all the time. It makes sense. [THIS COULD BE TRUE, BUT IT COULD ALSO BE TRUE FOR HIM RIGHT NOW. YOU MAY BE IN A PLACE WHERE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED AND HE MAY BE IN A PLACE WHERE GOING OUT SERVES HIM BETTER. STAY TRUE TO WHAT IS WORKING BEST FOR YOU RIGHT NOW AND ALLOW HIM TO GO THROUGH IT HOW HE NEEDS TO. BUT DONT COMPARE OR COMPETE WITH EACH OTHER, EVEN IF IN SUBTLE WAYS LIKE NEEDING TO DO THINGS THE WAY THE OTHER PERSON DOES. IN MY MINDS EYE I SEE MUCH LIKE SURAYA WHERE IT TAKES MANY DAYS AND NIGHTS IN SMALL GROUPS IN SAFE PLACES UNTIL FREE THEN THE BIGGER GROUP EVENTS ARE TO REJOICE IN IT. NO MATTER WHAT YOU CHOOSE ARE HAPPENS, I AM HERE FOR YOU ON BOTH LEVELS.]

Again, I know theres a lot of information here, so if you only have time to scan it over quickly, that's OK...I'll save it to go over and remind myself for next time we talk. I feel empowered by the knowledge that I have been feeling like things are shifting in me as I'm bringing them to light, and if I could allow this one to come to light and let it go, it would be a huge release for me!

Love to You and to Suraya,

Lilamayi

posted in Religion of Love - 0 replies