NAMASTE~
Below is an article I posted on my blog that seems to have presented an opportunity for discussion and deeper understanding...
A discussion that I wanted to bring here...for I know that there are many of us that have much to share and receive on the subject *warm smile*
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Dealing With Difficult People
We encounter a wide variety of people throughout our lives. Many of them touch us in some positive way. Occasionally, however, we encounter those individuals who, for whatever reason, can be difficult to deal with.
Perhaps this person is a colleague or close friend that you feel is deliberately being obtuse, inviting in trouble, or doing foolish things that you find annoying.
Sometimes, it may be possible to appease or avoid those people short term. Dealing with them in the long term, however, can be exhausting.
The behavior of difficult people can even make you feel like losing your temper, but keep your cool. Staying calm is the first step, especially when you are ready to confront them.
Avoiding a difficult person can improve impossible and not in your best interest, especially if you live or work together. Likewise, attempts to steer clear of them can become a source of stress and anxiety when they are a part of your social circle. When this is the case, it is best to kindly address the problem. Try not to let their actions or mood affect you.
You also may want to try expressing your feelings directly. Tell the person how their actions make you feel, and encourage them toward a more positive course of action. Speak assertively, but respectfully, and don't portray yourself as a victim.
Another approach for dealing with a difficult individual is to gain a deeper understanding of who that person is. Ask them why they do or say certain things. If you disagree with their motives, question them further so you can try and discover the root of their behavior. In doing so, you may be able to gently shift their perceptions, or at least help them understand your poi! nt of view.
You may want to think about what you want to say to a difficult person before you actually talk to them. If you can, avoid being judgmental or defensive, and try to approach the conversation objectively. If the person is open to the idea, try coming to an agreement. If approaching them fails, let it go and move on.
***There is no reason to let a difficult person or situation have power over your state of being.***
Remember that a lot can be accomplished when you take the time to listen and offer up alternative perspectives.
www.DailyOM.com
Below is an article I posted on my blog that seems to have presented an opportunity for discussion and deeper understanding...
A discussion that I wanted to bring here...for I know that there are many of us that have much to share and receive on the subject *warm smile*
****************************
Dealing With Difficult People
We encounter a wide variety of people throughout our lives. Many of them touch us in some positive way. Occasionally, however, we encounter those individuals who, for whatever reason, can be difficult to deal with.
Perhaps this person is a colleague or close friend that you feel is deliberately being obtuse, inviting in trouble, or doing foolish things that you find annoying.
Sometimes, it may be possible to appease or avoid those people short term. Dealing with them in the long term, however, can be exhausting.
The behavior of difficult people can even make you feel like losing your temper, but keep your cool. Staying calm is the first step, especially when you are ready to confront them.
Avoiding a difficult person can improve impossible and not in your best interest, especially if you live or work together. Likewise, attempts to steer clear of them can become a source of stress and anxiety when they are a part of your social circle. When this is the case, it is best to kindly address the problem. Try not to let their actions or mood affect you.
You also may want to try expressing your feelings directly. Tell the person how their actions make you feel, and encourage them toward a more positive course of action. Speak assertively, but respectfully, and don't portray yourself as a victim.
Another approach for dealing with a difficult individual is to gain a deeper understanding of who that person is. Ask them why they do or say certain things. If you disagree with their motives, question them further so you can try and discover the root of their behavior. In doing so, you may be able to gently shift their perceptions, or at least help them understand your poi! nt of view.
You may want to think about what you want to say to a difficult person before you actually talk to them. If you can, avoid being judgmental or defensive, and try to approach the conversation objectively. If the person is open to the idea, try coming to an agreement. If approaching them fails, let it go and move on.
***There is no reason to let a difficult person or situation have power over your state of being.***
Remember that a lot can be accomplished when you take the time to listen and offer up alternative perspectives.
www.DailyOM.com
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Re: The Hidden Blessings in Our "Less Than Perfect" Relationships
Sat, January 14, 2006 - 6:46 AM>>I think you hav etouched on a topic in a very light way. And not covered >>many aspects of working with difficult people.
Hmmm...well then, shall we open a discussion here? ;-)
>>telling another who is difficult how youfeel may in itself indicate weakness >>and if that is their problem.. that they need to steamroll over you.. then you >>have perpetuated it.
cathyq, you find establishing and defining one's boundaries as a "weakness"? (just wanting to clarify your perspective ;-) )
In my research and my personal experiences, NOT defining (and defending, if that is what circumstances bring) is what perpetuates one's feeling of victimhood and/or disempowerment.
One of the first steps in reclaiming one’s self –to self-empowerment, is *knowing* what is, and what is not, acceptable exchanges of interaction…and then one/the Divine attracts/creates experiences where one can begin to exercise their new beliefs, to put into practice the new Truths they have discovered.
By many Teachers, I have heard this dynamic explained in various ways, and what it all comes down to (in my perspective) is that we attract/create experiences that will show us what needs to be acknowledged and healed within ourselves…and the “issue” will keep presenting itself in our interactions with others until a complete healing has been brought about…so in this regard, yes, it does perpetuate itself if one refuses to look beyond the surface dynamics and look *within* to see why this drama continues to be an a continual loop… “What we resist, persist”….
As we begin to bring about a healing within ourselves, the “negative” interactions we experience with others begins to lessen…many are prone to take the first tentative steps, but then stop short of complete healing because they see/feel that things aren’t “as bad” as they were when they first began the process…and it is not “easy” to undertake such healings, they hurt and stretch us beyond our comfort zones…but the pain is there to *show* us that there is *something* that needs to be looked at, something that needs to be healed.
And as we are all unique, so, too, are the “reasons” for the initial wounds that set the paradigm in place…depending on the “level of trauma” (which is not to say that one’s traumatic experiences are any more horrendous than another’s…it is how we as a child perceived the event and were able to “handle and integrate” what occurred) and how long one finds themselves replaying and re-experiencing this trauma (same story, different details) can play a factor in how one choices to tend and heal the wound…
Each Soul has *their* own, very personal Path of development and evolution…it’s a hard pill to swallow (at least it was for me) to accept the fact that before “coming back”, we made agreements with other souls to “play out” certain dynamics, certain dramas, certain exchanges in order to re-member and evolve along our individual paths…accepting full responsibility for one’s Life and all the experiences that compromise such seems to be quite a challenge in the beginning…parting the veil of illusion that we are powerless and victims of our circumstances is one of the reasons we are here…and I don’t remember anyone saying that it was going to be “easy” ;-)
Those of us that are here to break this paradigm of relinquishing our personal power to others and have taken a pledge to heal ourselves and therefore bring about a healing along the Lines of Time are being pushed, propelled and drawn to experiences that will bring about this very healing…but each and every one of us has the *choice*, at any given moment, to look beyond the surface of our experiences and *question* why it is occurring or simply perpetuate the ageless drama of victim/perpetrator.
Those that we encounter and interact with that seem to be the absolute worst “bad guy” in our lives, are actually among our greatest blessings…for it is they who bring us the gifts to stop, question and then heal the very wounds that attracted them into our life to begin with –it is they who provide the catalyst for our healing and our evolution…so bless them, do not curse them, and understand that they too have wounds to tend to…
*Balance*…if one has experienced both extremes of the spectrum, then finding the middle where our Higher Truths can be found is a bit easier…find *your* Balance, *your* Truth, *your* personal Path…
As Always,
In Light and Love~ -
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Re: The Hidden Blessings in Our "Less Than Perfect" Relationships
Sun, January 15, 2006 - 6:51 PMI said tha telling some difficult person how you feel from their actions or words MAY result in a different than desired result adn MAY giv efood to a steamroller person.. one of m any difficult types,
Tios eword s in no way.. IN NO WAY.. say that I believe that establishing boundaries is a weakness.
Interesting that we just had a misunderstanding re your BLOG and in my wandering around tribe I would pick your tribe to read.
No problem.. we clearly read and respond differently.
i chose to remove from friends as I shall from this tribe. I do nto desire your infusement of my dark or shadow or whatever you called it to any aspect of my life. -
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Re: The Hidden Blessings in Our "Less Than Perfect" Relationships
Sun, January 15, 2006 - 7:56 PMWritten words speak for themselves...
As you choose...
Blessings~
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