Hi, I am new here. I guess I've been looking for answers to the problems in my life and I have no where else to turn. It seems as though my life is surrounded by people who want to hurt me to make themselves feel better. My life is an open book and everyone talks about me behind my back. I know this is true because I have been told by some people that I think I can trust. I realize now that I've always had these problems with people in my life, however was distracted and didn't notice too much before. In a work situation, I am always singled out and talked about. People always drag me into some sort of office politics situation and make up lies about me to other coworkers. They insult my appearance, education, experience, they befriend me and want to find out about my life and although I never get too personal or try not to, they always find a way of picking up on a sensitive subject and using it against me. I find that I am lied to constantly by everyone. This past year I have had 3 jobs, all of them lied to me about what my job was. They all just used me. NOw I am unemployed again and my friends and family are doing the exact same thing to me. I just found out yesterday that someone in my home is listening to my phone conversations and telling another family member all about my life. They are like vultures. I know that I need to move away from them, it is not the first time i've done that. I can't seem to hold a job long enough to save up enough money to be on my own. What is happening here. Four years ago, I had a great job. Everyone I knew was jealous of me even though I told them repeatedly its not that great of a job. I left that job because of the same situation I mentioned above. I was so depressed that I couldn't work for 2 years after and I tried so hard to find a job, try my own business, go back to school. All my friends and family did was bring me down and make fun of everything I tried, again more lies and deceit. Some friends led me in the wrong direction because of poor advice. Eventually I found a job and the abuse started again. Now I am stuck here wondering what to do. I am scared that the same things will happen again. I am also positive that I am doing nothing wrong to any of these people, although I get very hurt and sometimes it shows in my anger, most of the time I just keep this all inside. I just simply exist and I am just trying to live. I do not believe anymore that ALL of these people in my life, friends, family, coworkers and the events that have taken place are a coincidence anymore. I feel as though I have been cursed. I feel as though there is a black cloud following me everywhere I go preventing me from moving on. Is it possible that someone has cursed me? If so, what is it that I have to do to have this removed or is it even possible to remove it? Do I have to ride this out? I really don't know what to do.
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Unsu...
Re: Negative Energy Surrounds my life - can this be stopped?
Fri, December 21, 2007 - 6:35 PMRemember the things in life you like... that when you think of this it brings you peace.. serenity or hope.. inspiration.. like thinking about scenery if you like plants... or your favorite animal... like cats :)
dont think to fast about things... and there will always be people who will do ill.... and its not there fault its no ones faults.. its about learning.. and if you know yourself.. then you need to stand your ground.. speak.. tell those people " Hey.. im a human being and I dont respect those who disrespect me" in other words... get new frieds... cause a friend is not someone who talks behind your back.. if they cant say things about you to you... then they shouldnt be saying them at all. They arent perfect.
You let people drag you... you are Free and Independant. "because i dont want to...." then they will say " why"
Because you are free to make any choice and you dont need to give a full detailed answer... specially to those you dont respect you. They are there representing your thoughts.. somehow you think you arent that great. There are things about you, that you want to change...
Change them.. you have that power no one else does.. except love ... ofcourse :)
Your my sister... and you are in need.. Your emotions feel pain to become stronger... your mind will experience mental mess ups to make you mentally stronger. We arent just born strong, or as we want to be... we have to Become.. the person we want to be or see ourselves as... or know ourselves to be. And the people around you are there so you can become that person.
Standing up to them, talking, speaking your feelings... cause at least you did.. and then you get an answer...
cause you will never know... unless you ask.
So it cant hurt to bad... when at least you can get an answer... cause then you can move forward and make your next choices.
We always have choices.
Just remember to see things as a Whole.. its everything and everything.
You cant make people change... and you shouldnt.. but you can show your true image.. dont hide.
obviously you dont want to become them... so them they are what you consider yourself not to be...
then maybe.. your answer is within that. You might have Denial... of your true self. your true potential. Maybe you dont think people will accept the true you.
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Re: Negative Energy Surrounds my life - can this be stopped?
Sun, December 23, 2007 - 11:34 AMI have been around a long time, including as a workplace manager. I want to address your work issues. First of all, let me say that in any office there is ALWAYS office politics. That is just what people do. And one of the things they do is gossip about anyone who is not in the same room. While some of that gossip may be hurtful, it is for the most part harmless. It is a sad thing, but people tend to make themselves feel better by making others look small, but that is the way it is. I get the sense that you are highly sensitive to criticism, and that you may have allowed yourself to blow everyday office dynamics way out of proportion. If you allowed yourself to overreact in the office by an explosion or crying (or both), then that just started a downward spiral. That sort of thing gets a definite negative reaction. If something like that happened, people no doubt really piled on. It looks like after a while you started expecting it as you came in the door to a new job. Believe me, if you come into a new situation with what looks like a chip on your shoulder, or a lot of negativity and negative emotion, people will not accept you.
So how do you beat that? The most important thing is to realize is that there is only one person's opinion that really matters in life, and that is your own. You truly are as good as any other human being on the planet. And just as true, you are different from every other person on the planet. If you let what someone else says to or about you determine what you think of yourself, you will be in constant pain. So be yourself and don't let office banter get to you.
I can assure you that several bosses in a row did not lie to you about what your job would be - at least in terms of work duties. It just doesn't pay, because people would just quit in droves. Now, they may have said how nice the people in the office were, and that was not your experience. But their own experience may well have been that they were nice.
I don't know what your educational level is, but I can definitely say this. The more education people have, they better behaved they are in the workplace. There is still politics, but it is much gentler. So get some education, be that college or technical school of some sort, and then go get a job that pays better and has a better quality of people. And then use that extra money to move out of the house. It is abundantly clear that you are way past due to get out of what is a non-supportive family situation.
I hope this helps, and God Bless.
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Re: Negative Energy Surrounds my life - can this be stopped?
Sat, December 29, 2007 - 3:35 PMHelen, I've had very similar experiences in my life, and I know what you're going through. There is no easy answer, but I think you need to refuse to be burned again, get a bit feisty, and get these people and situations out of your life. Clean house. They are not good for you.
As far as office environments...they are notoriously toxic. It pretty much goes with the territory. They're very unnatural situations and are a lot like high school clique dynamics. I actually DO know that office managers will mislead about job duties...often because they don't actually understand the job themselves, don't really want to be bothered. or just want to get a body into the position and forget about it. Also, if people in your office sense that you are somehow different, that you don't desire to play the same human dramatics games that they play, they will try to pick you apart to get you down to their level. Just be aware that that is what people will try to do.
But is it possible that you are trying to fit into situations that you know are not right for you? I would suggest that you need to set out in a different direction...get out of office environments for a while and choose a job that involves something you're interested in (plants, animals, children, books, whatever it is). Don't make money or what you "should" do part of the process. Just listen to your intuitive self. I know that we have ingrained in us what society or our parents or our peers think we should do with our lives...but most times, it has nothing to do with what will really make us comfortable and happy.
As far as family, yes...there comes a time when our birth families can become toxic...nature's way of pushing us out on our own, I think.
Try to overcome any fear about setting out on your own, and make some strides towards that. -
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Re: Negative Energy Surrounds my life - can this be stopped?
Sat, December 29, 2007 - 4:05 PMIn other words, don't react by going into a holding pattern. Make active changes so you aren't a sitting duck for these people/dynamics.
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