I think Emma hit it. feminism doesn't mean denying femininity, but in the professional world you want to keep things more gender neutral. If you're in a male dominated profession the lesser evolved men will associate anything "girly" with weak, incapable, flighty, etc. You can then undermine yourself with a simple slip of language.

(this is of course, ignoring the stupidity of asking her what kind of car she drives.)


An example:
I used to work in a design firm populated almost entirely by men, which is very unusual for that industry. There was only one other female designer (freelance, not staff), and the other 3 women were all in service positions: secretary, receptionist, cleaning. It was a very hostile, aggressive, miserable place to work. Not necessarily because of the 98% male dominance, but because of WHO the particular men were. It was also a shithole of an office space.

So one day we're in a meeting, in this tiny tiny room that could've doubled as a closet. There aren't enough chairs so I'm sitting on the floor. While someone was talking, I set my hand down on the floor, came into contact with something and absentmindedly picked it up. I looked at it after a minute and realized I was holding a huge human TOENAIL CLIPPING. That's right, an enormous toenail clipping... in a friggin OFFICE CONFERENCE ROOM. I mean, there isn't more WTF than that except maybe to find a used condom or tampon. So in utter revulsion at the grotesque behavior of someone in the office I involuntarily made a sound, threw the nail, and shuddered. All eyes turn on me and I explain what just happened. "Who clips their TOENAILS in an OFFICE?! and who LEAVES them on the floor??!!" I say with disgust. Every man in the room looks at me annoyed, as if they not only have no comprehension as to why this would gross me out, but also that they don't think it's any kind of health or morale issue for someone to do this. You could just see it on their face: "who let the stupid girl in here?"

Now, I was in a senior position on the design team, which meant I met with the client, managed other designers, coordinated with other departments. When the senior manager in my department quit, I had to assume some of his duties. I was basically running the show with no guidance for months. When there was a city-wide blackout and the office lost power I was the ONLY one who could provide the staff with a flashlight and a radio for news. Yet I get grossed out at someone else's filthy behavior and I'm a stupid whiny girl who can't be trusted to do her job. It's the small things that they latch on to.

Thanks for posting them Paula! I'd forgotten all about them!