"This is not faking an orgasm, or a relationship - this is faking a whole life."

I agree. It's pretty creepy and manipulative, not to mention sad to construct one's life like that. it's a very dangerous game, that can affect the integrity of male-female relationships on the whole.

>Firstly the man will only marry if he believes she loves him, so she has to pretend to love him. So the marriage starts off with a lie.<

That was my first thought when I tried to read through that horrid article. That bit of garbage has two premises as far as I may discern:
1) Men are emotionally immature and generally deficient in terms of intellect; but
A. They make good servants who may cheaply be paid in sex; and
B. Women just can't live without drooling servants to impregnate them and fix their cars/plumbing/etc.

2) The entire world revolves around the white, American middle-class; so
A. There is only one definition of traditional marriage;
B. If a woman does not marry and have children, she'll be stripped, branded and cast off into the woods; and
C. If you are infertile for any reason, God will let you have a baby anyway, so long as you are righteous and noble enough to put up with the drunken sot for whom you settled.

According to my calender, the year is 2008, so I needn't tell any of you what's wrong with those premises. Instead, I'll say that it's much better to stick to your standards. If you decide to settle for anyone who falls short of your standards in any way, you'll probably wind up with someone who falls short of them in EVERY way. It's much better to stay single and childless, in my opinion, then settle for someone who beats you and/or your children, can't hold down a job to save his/her life (or that of the family) and on top of everything else, does not even share your interest in exobiology.

I'm sorry if my rant came out less than intelligible; it's hard to write gracefully when you're this disgusted. Honestly, when I read that article, I could feel my great grandma (avav hashalom) rolling a little in her grave. I shall forever hold the name Lori Gottlieb in contempt, right along with Camille Paglia and Pat Robertson.

Fifi,
that was my thought as well. she claims at one point to be a feminist, but doesn't seem to actually exhibit that behavior. and perhaps because either she doesn't understand what it means, or she's just socially stunted, she bashes it. Her warped view of it, and of women who don't share her neuroses, is what I found strange. Like wow, women like this still exist. ;)

for example:
"To the outside world, of course, we still call ourselves feminists and insist—vehemently, even—that we’re independent and self-sufficient and don’t believe in any of that damsel-in-distress stuff..."
followed by:
"but in reality, we aren’t fish who can do without a bicycle, we’re women who want a traditional family."

"I’m guessing there are single 30-year-old women reading this right now who will be writing letters to the editor to say that the women I know aren’t widely representative, that I’ve been co-opted by the cult of the feminist backlash, and basically, that I have no idea what I’m talking about."
followed by:
"And all I can say is, if you say you’re not worried, either you’re in denial or you’re lying."

so:
1) she thinks that having a family and being a feminist are mutually exclusive, no wonder she's unhappy
2) she likes to tell the world how independent she is because she wants that point of pride, but it's essentially a lie, like some role she plays?
3) as you said: "Obviously she lies about enjoying being independent herself so assumes everyone else does too."
...very good observation. I think that explains a lot.

yeah, I think you nailed it with your assessment. :)

"If for no other reason than to be aware that all women have a couple of days a month where we'll sleep with men we wouldn't dream of dating the rest of the month. Wish I'd known that earlier, would have saved me all kinds of psychological angst! ;-)"
...LOL! that does explain a lot. ;)

I agree with you about the part time women's month or part time feminism. usually here any kind of women's month translates to more Lifetime television and Oprah. or it's the cartoonish sexpot shoot 'em babe ala Lara Croft.

on the subject of subversive knitters: knittaplease.com/